If You Know Her: A Novel of Romantic Suspense

by Shiloh Walker

  “No.” She had her eyes closed again. “I still would have tried to look, would have been determined. I can’t stand to have somebody trying to protect me, keep something from me. Even when maybe it’s better.”

  With a watery laugh, she whispered, “I wish I’d let you keep this from me, Law.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Silence fell between them, thick and tight, but no longer quite so strained. She sighed as he used his thumb on her instep, across the ball of her foot. When he put that foot down, she lifted her other foot for him. “I shouldn’t have come down on you like I did,” she said softly. “I get why you didn’t want me seeing that.”

  Law stayed quiet.

  “I’m just … hell. I just don’t deal well with being coddled, with having somebody make a decision about what I can and can’t handle.”

  “It’s not about can or can’t handle,” he said, shooting her a quick look. “I’m starting to think there’s not a damn thing you can’t handle. It’s a matter of why in the hell should you have that image in your head? I don’t want it in mine. Ezra has to have it—it’s his job, but you and me …?”

  He sighed and shook his head. “Wasn’t trying to coddle you. You’d cut a guy off at the knees if he tried that with you. I was just trying to help.”

  “I know.” She leaned forward and covered one of his hands with hers.

  “And I’m sorry,” she added as their gazes locked.

  “It’s okay.”

  She squeezed, gave him a smile. “No, it’s not. But at least you tolerate me being a bitch … although I don’t know why.” She sighed and closed her eyes, only to open them immediately. “Damn it—I think I’m going to see it every time I close my eyes. I want to push it out of my head but my imagination is kicking in and I’m already thinking, what did he do with that stuff …”

  “You need to stop wondering,” Law said. “It’s just going to drive you nuts.”

  “I’m already there.”

  “Why don’t you come to bed?” He laid a hand on her knee, squeezed it. “Get some rest.”

  “I can’t sleep with that picture in my mind and right now, it’s all I can see.”

  She lifted her hands to her face, but stopped when she saw them shaking. A harsh laugh escaped her.

  “Shit. Holy shit—I can’t stop seeing it. Why did I look?” she whispered. Sliding her gaze past him, she stared at the phone, shuddered as the image loomed large in her mind once more. Why …

  Abruptly, she tore her gaze from the phone and looked at Law. His hair, still damp from his shower, was darker than normal. He’d shaved recently. He smelled of soap, toothpaste … and himself.

  Rolling to her knees, she half crawled until she was straddling his lap. “There’s no way I can sleep with that in my head. I want it out. Will you make it go away, Law? Can you make me see something else?”

  Her eyes had the look of something desperate … something just this shy of mad terror, Law thought.

  If he was any kind of decent, what he should do was find some whiskey, hold her until she felt asleep, and just be there when the nightmares came. They’d probably come for both of them.

  But he was a little too raw, a little too ragged to worry about being decent.

  Her mouth was just a whisper away from his. Reaching up, he fisted his hand in her hair, holding her back when she would have kissed him. “What do you want to see?”

  “How about you? Just you?”

  “Don’t close your eyes, then.” Still staring at her, he brought her face close … closer … until their breath mingled, until his lips covered hers. He shifted around until she was sitting on the step above him. “Wrap your legs around me.”

  Nia did and he groaned when she pressed against him. Soft and warm, separated from him by nothing more than his jeans and her T-shirt. Her eyes, wide and wild, locked on his face as he reached out his hand and caught hold of the banister. With a slow smile, she said, “What … you’re not going to just ravish me here on the steps?”

  “No.” He nipped her lower lip. “By the time I’m done with you, I plan on the two of us being too damn weak and tired to move. So the bedroom’s better.”

  Weak, tired, too damn exhausted for even nightmares to haunt them, if he had anything to do about it.

  She smiled against his mouth as he stood. “You know … I’m no lightweight. I can walk up the stairs.”

  “And I can carry you.” No … she wasn’t a lightweight. She was a solid, sleek woman. Cupping her ass in one hand, he squeezed. “Haven’t you ever had a guy carry you up the steps before?”

  “Can’t honestly say I’ve ever wanted one to,” she murmured. She peered over his shoulder and then smiled at him. “It’s a long way down … you better not drop me.”

  He swatted her butt. “I’ve got too many things I want to do to you. Dropping you isn’t one of them, don’t worry.”

  As he turned into his room, he hit the lights with his elbow.

  They didn’t need darkness right now … no darkness, no shadows.

  There were too many shadows in her eyes already. He wanted to chase them all away. Carrying her to the bed, he set her on the edge and reached for the hem of the T-shirt. “You never did ask if you could use this, you know,” he said. “I think I want it back.”

  “Not very good at sharing, Law?”

  “I suck at it.” He stripped it away and tossed it to the floor. Holding her gaze with his, he trailed his fingers up her side and cupped one breast. “When something’s mine, I want to keep it … for me, only me.”

  Her lashes fluttered. “It’s just a shirt, Law,” she murmured.

  “A shirt. A book …” Dipping his head, he raked his teeth down her neck. “Sometimes it’s more. A lot more.”

  “And what are you talking about now?”

  Sinking to his knees in front of her, he palmed her breasts, pushed them together. He captured one swollen nipple between his teeth and tugged. She hissed, her head falling back. “Hmmm. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything … I dunno. I could be speaking hypothetically, you see.”

  Her hands came up, one gripping his shoulder, the other dipping into his hair and fisting there. “That a fact?”

  “Hmmm. You know something, Nia? I really love the way you taste,” he whispered. He boosted her farther back on the bed and came up between her thighs, pushing them wide. “Fucking love it …”

  “Is that …” Her breath caught as he used his fingers to spread the folds of her sex. When he licked her, she bucked upward, her hands shooting down to grip his wrists.

  Grinning against her, he caught her clit between his teeth and tugged and then lifted his head. “Is that what?”

  Blindly, she stared at him. “Huh?”

  “You were saying something … is that? What were you asking?”

  She groaned and caught his head, tugged him back against her. “Forget what I was saying and just go back to what you were doing.”

  Chuckling, he let her guide him back between her thighs. The tight black curls that covered her sex were already damp. Slipping his hands beneath her hips, he arched them upward and pressed his mouth to her.

  She cried out when he pushed his tongue inside. When he began to suck on her clit, she shivered. The moment he started to use his fingers, she shuddered and started talking to him, low, pleading little demands, her voice husky and soft, her fingers twisting in his hair and clutching him close as though she feared he’d stop.

  Like he would … like he could.

  He didn’t stop until he had her climaxing, and then he only stopped to let her calm, let her relax.

  Then he started all over again.

  No nightmares, he thought … not tonight.

  “Law, please …”

  Nia didn’t think she even had the energy to say his name, but she had to say something—Hell, she didn’t know she could come that many times, and he hadn’t even taken his damn jeans off.

  He gave her a slow, heated smile wh
en he lifted his head from between her legs.

  Her heart banged against her ribs, but she honestly didn’t think she had the energy when he levered his weight up and came up to lie next to her, his knee pressed against the sensitized flesh between her thighs. Every last nerve in her body was singing, humming, so sensitive and aware, each touch was almost an excruciating pleasure.

  He reached down and cupped her and she jerked. “Law, I don’t think …”

  “No nightmares, Nia,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to hers.

  She groaned, tasting herself in his kiss. “I’m tired.”

  “You won’t be for long.”

  One finger pushed inside her and she cried out, the sensation almost painful. His mouth rubbed against hers, his lips soothing, almost gentle. Curling an arm around his neck, she shuddered under his touch. His hands—damn it, those hands of his. As he stroked a finger in, then out, her heart skittered a beat, proving already that she wasn’t too tired.

  His lips skimmed across her cheek and he teased, “Too tired, Nia?”

  “Apparently you bring out the worst in me.” She whimpered as he used his thumb to tease her clit.

  “The worst … hell, if this is your worst, don’t show your best. It will kill me.” He pressed a hot, opened-mouth kiss to the side of her neck before lifting his head and staring down at her.

  The look on his face made her heart ache. Something tender, hot, and wild … a little bit possessive and protective, too; all of it, it added up to something that made her ache in a way she’d never ached before.

  “You’re driving me crazy, Law.” Lifting a hand to his cheek, she tugged him close, pressed her mouth to his.

  “I plan on doing it for the rest of the night … be warned.”

  She sighed, even her body clenched, just thinking about an entire night of this sort of torment. “Not exactly the kind of crazy I was talking about, baby.”

  “No?” He peered into her eyes, brushed the back of his hand down her cheek. “What kind of crazy we talking about?”

  She just shook her head. She wasn’t ready to discuss the emotional upheaval she felt when she looked at him sometimes. Not yet. Pushing against his shoulders, she said, “Roll over. I think if we’re playing a game of chase the nightmares away, I get to take a turn on top.”

  “Oh, please.” He gave her a wicked smile. “Be on top. Be the top whenever you want.”

  He caught her around the waist and rolled, pulling her atop him, settling with her astride his lap, his denim-clad legs rubbing against her naked thighs. “Okay, Nia … you’re on top … now what?” he asked, his hands stroking up and down her waist.

  With a look of mock submission on his face, he laid there, staring up at her.

  She stared down at him, her hands resting on his shoulders. Smiling, she caught his hands and lifted them, stretching them up overhead. “Somehow, I don’t see you getting into the submissive mindset.”

  “Depends on who’s in charge.” He arched his hips against hers, his lids drooping down to half-mast. “If you promise to walk around in black leather, I just might be all over the idea of playing at the submissive. Can I buy you some black leather, Nia?”

  She chuckled. “No. I’m not much for the Mother May I thing, sugar.”

  “Oh, trust me. I’m not thinking of my mother.”

  Laughing, she rubbed her mouth lightly over his. “Okay … not much for the mistress bit, either.” Stretching out over him, she curled one arm around his neck and whispered, “Still, I don’t mind taking charge. Open your mouth for me, Law … I want to kiss you. I want to make you as mindless as you make me.”

  You already do, he thought, his thoughts buzzing.

  As her tongue rubbed against his, her hands stroked down his sides, light gentle touches—butterfly touches—that shouldn’t have been able to drive him that insane. But each one, the brush of a fingertip across his nipple, the scrape of her nails over his belly, had his heart racing harder, his breath all but burning in his lungs.

  When she reached the button of his jeans, his hips jerked and he squeezed his eyes closed, hoped he wouldn’t make a fool of himself and lose it the second she touched him. He hadn’t done anything like that in ages, not since high school, but Nia shattered his control like nothing else.

  Nia shattered him.

  She sat up, shifting her weight off to the side and although he hated not having her that close, when she moved away, it wasn’t a bad thing—he thought. He could cool down, have a few seconds to compose himself … but then she shifted lower. Not just reaching for the button of his jeans, either.

  Oh, she did that—freeing the button, lowering the zipper, and then, oh sweet hell—Law’s eyes crossed as she bent over and took the head of his cock in her mouth, sucking him deep. She wasn’t at all hesitant with it, either. She took him in one fast, hard motion until she’d taken as much of him as she could and then she pulled up, did it again, and again … Law swore and reached down, fisting a hand in her hair, tugging on her.

  “Damn it,” he swore. “Stop it.”

  She lifted her head just long enough to send him that smug smile. “No.”

  Then she went back to it, taking him hard and deep, her mouth a sweet, sweet torture. He twisted a hand in the sheets below him. “Fuck, Nia, I’m going to … would you stop?”

  “No. And I want you to,” she muttered. Then she wrapped one hand around the base of his cock and started to pump in time with her mouth.

  Law’s entire body stiffened. Reaching down, he buried his hands in her hair—torn between pulling her away and just enjoying … hell. He was only human. As she licked and sucked on his aching flesh, he started to rock against her, swearing and muttering under his breath, barely even aware of what he was saying.

  She groaned around him and he felt the vibration of it clear down to his toes. When she scraped her nails over his balls, he lost it. Holding her head, he arched up, pumping into her mouth, once, twice. Then, abruptly, he froze, tried to pull her away. She leaned into him, her golden eyes flashing. Daring him. Slowly, she took him, sucking, licking … teasing.

  “Nia …”

  She did it again, and again.

  Any bit of control he might have had died at the challenging look she shot him. Cupping her head in his hands, staring down at her face, he pumped up, meeting each downward stroke of her head with an upward stroke of his hips. She pumped him with her hand, squeezing him lightly, rotating her wrist just a bit before starting back up. His breath caught, hitched in his lungs.

  Oh … holy … fuck …

  With a harsh groan, he came, his hands clenching and unclenching in her hair.

  Nia continued to move her head up, down, working him through it, teasing the slit in the head of his cock with her tongue. When she finally stopped and lifted her head to smile at him, he had about as much energy as a newborn kitten, his heart raced so hard he could barely breathe, and what he wanted, more than anything, was to pull her against him.

  But he could barely move his damn arms.

  Hoarsely, he muttered, “Come here.”

  She grinned and curled up next to him, stroking a hand over his belly. “Now is where I get to tell you that you can’t be tired … I’m not done with you yet.”

  “Damn it.” He sucked in a desperate breath of air, closed his eyes. “I sure as hell hope you’re not done with me. I don’t think I’ll ever be done with you.”

  The hand on his belly stilled.

  The second the words escaped his mouth, he wished he had been a little more aware, but it was too late now. Heaving out a breath, he stroked a hand down her back and cracked open one eye, hazarded a look at her face. “Don’t go panicking, Nia,” he muttered.

  The look on her face, though, wasn’t one of panic.

  She was staring at him with a wondering, almost hopeful look on her face.

  “Not done with me, huh?” she whispered, reaching up to touch his mouth. “What do you mean by that, Reilly?”

>   He caught her hand in his, lifted it to his mouth. “Just that you’re in my head an awful lot, gorgeous. All the time. Not anything you need to go freaking out about, but …”

  She sat up, curled down around him, pressing her lips to his. “I like hearing that I’m in your head a lot, baby. Because God knows I can’t stop thinking about you, either. Even when I’ve got every reason to be thinking about other things …”

  Her mouth tightened and her eyes went dark and sad.

  Sitting up, he shifted in the bed, pulled her across his lap. “Not tonight, Nia. We’re not thinking about anything tonight but us.”

  “Just us.” She reached between them, curled her hand around his semi-erect cock, started to stroke. “Am I still on top? That where you want me?”

  He saw her trying to find the lighthearted moment they’d briefly had, but just then, he needed her, just her. “You’re where I need you to be already … right here with me.” Her hand stroked up, down, and just like that, he was ready. He pulled her closer, then groaned, swearing. “Fuck, I need to get a rubber.”

  “No.” She shifted closer, rubbed against him so that he felt the slick, wet folds of her naked pussy.

  He tightened his fingers around her hips and swore. “Nia …?”

  “We don’t need it, not unless you want it.” Staring at him through her lashes, she said, “I haven’t been with a guy without one in … hell, five years. The last time I was with a guy before this was almost a year ago. I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I got tested a few months ago for a health insurance thing. So unless you want it …”

  “Fuck.” His eyes closed and he pulled her closer, taunted himself with the slick, wet feel of her. “Haven’t been with anybody in a few years, and nobody without a rubber.”

  Trailing his fingers down her spine, along the curve of her rump, he stared into her eyes. “This is either a really fucking stupid thing or a really fucking big step … which is it, Nia?”

  She pushed herself up onto her knees and reached between them.

  “Up until you, I didn’t even get close to touching the line of this, you know. It could be borderline stupid, Law.” She squeezed him lightly and said, “Maybe it’s stupid, maybe it’s a big step … maybe it’s both. You okay with that?”