by Carol Oates
You’re welcome, they said in unison. We love you too. Ben was frowning, his eyebrows knitted. He looked to Amanda for support. Not so smug now.
Well, Ben? Lewis urged.
I pushed myself up from the bed and pulled Caleb toward the door.
We’ll leave you guys to it.
See you soon, Carmel called over the phone.
Caleb slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.
Yeah, see you soon, I choked out, hoping I wasn’t lying.
It was still dark when we left the city and headed toward Tara. It had been raining for hours, and the sky was a sheet of dead blackness; thick cloud cover blocked any stars from shining down on us. Outside the window, the streetlights and buildings blurred as we passed, creating a strangely-colored artificial light. I reached over to Caleb in the driver’s seat and lightly placed my hand on his leg, reminding him that we should travel slowly to avoid attracting any unwanted attention from the local authorities. I was aware of the fact that every time we accelerated, so did the Land Rover behind us. I didn’t think two fully-loaded Land Rovers with blacked-out windows traveling at high speed would avoid notice for long.
Caleb lifted my hand to the side of his face before kissing my palm and replacing it on my leg.
Can you two please cut it out for a few minutes, please, Josh begged from the back seat.
I looked over my shoulder to him. Like us, he was wearing a thick sweatshirt under a waterproof rain jacket. I had known from the faint, cold metallic taste at the back of my throat the day before, more a smell than a taste, that it was going to rain like this, and I was right. Caleb was fascinated that I could do this even though it really was only the second time it had happened. I tried to explain the sensation to him, but the closest I could get to it was the feeling of placing a battery on my tongue. He had laughed; apparently, it wasn’t something he’d ever tried as a child. Annice had been kind enough to shop for everyone after I told Caleb I was sure it would rain, so at least now we had warm, rain-proof clothing.
Joshua had one foot up on his knee at a right angle, retying the shoe-laces on his new hiking boots for the sixth time, probably in an attempt to distract himself from thinking about where we were headed.
You’re just jealous because you only have your bootlaces to distract you, I teased him, smiling.
Eila still insisted that joining us today would be a mistake and someone should remain behind in order to try to rein in the Council should we fail. Her attitude did nothing to instill confidence, especially since Samuel agreed with her.
I glanced again at the oval sapphire I was wearing on my left hand, adjusting it so I could see the star pattern in the dim light. As I wiggled my fingers yet again, the white gold sparkled. It felt as if it had always been there on my hand, like it belonged there. My eyes flickered to Caleb; he positively glowed every time he caught me admiring it. Even now, when we were headed to County Meath, the seat of Atlantis, with more than a possibility that our enemies would be waiting there for us, it couldn’t diminish his pride at claiming me for his own.
Ben was in the Land Rover behind us with Samuel and Annice. Amanda had stayed behind in the hotel with Eila watching over her. I think it made Eila feel less guilty about not standing alongside Joshua today; staying behind to watch over Amanda gave her an active role to play instead of simply sitting alone waiting for news. We traveled through a small village as the rain began to ease, so it now tinkled against the window, sounding like soothing music. The village reminded me a little of the main street in Camden, on a smaller scale, with its hanging baskets of flowers on every lamppost and colorful shop fronts. I felt a peculiar twinge in my stomach.
The village would be pretty during the daylight with the sun glistening off the shop windows; now everything seemed bathed in silver, dark blues, and purples, having a different beauty in the darkness.
Caleb flashed a worried glance in my direction. Are you sick?
No, I answered, confused.
His eyes flickered to my stomach. I wasn’t aware I was holding onto it with both hands, my fingers interlaced. I immediately released them and gripped the side of the seat instead.
You do look funny, Josh added innocently. Funnier than usual. I turned and grimaced at him, but my face did feel hot in fact, my whole body seemed overheated. Caleb took one hand off the wheel and ran the back of his fingers lightly over my forehead and then placed the palm of his hand at the back of my neck under my hair. His skin felt cool, or maybe it was my skin that was suddenly hot. Either way, his touch made my heart speed up. I shrugged his hand away.
I’m fine, really, I lied with a forced smile. The twinge in my stomach was growing. It wasn’t the usual butterflies I felt when Caleb was near.
Pins and needles were spreading out from my stomach. It felt as if a hook had been embedded inside me and was pulling me forward while at the same time a million fine tendrils were growing and reaching out, intertwining around and constricting my organs, extending through all my extremities.
It wasn’t exactly unpleasant; in fact it was warming my entire body and making the hair on my arms stand up. No, it was not unpleasant at all.
I closed my eyes and tried to control my increasingly ragged breathing as Caleb’s fingers traced across my forehead and down my cheek.
I’m pulling over, he moaned anxiously.
No. My eyes flashed open to look at him. Don’t stop, please. His brow furrowed. He repeatedly darted his eyes between the road and my face, his fingers tightening on the wheel with each glance. I placed a hand on his thigh.
Please, I begged. I’m okay — really. I just want to get there.
She’s right, Joshua agreed from behind us. We’ll be there in a few minutes.
I smiled at Caleb; it was forced, but he seemed to believe it. Removing my hand from his thigh, I returned it to the side of my seat. This time I kept my fingers relaxed, knowing he was still watching.
The sensations continued to race through my body, and I closed my eyes.
This time a rainbow of colors danced and swirled behind my eyelids. The only way I could describe it was that it was like running and the exhilaration combined with exhaustion on that last mile, when muscles are tight and breathing causes an aching chest. Then, knowing it’s almost over, that it’s almost time to rest, you push through it until the end. I could feel the heat over my cheeks; the longer it went on, the stronger the feeling got until we turned a corner, and just as quickly as it came over me, it faded, the tendrils loosening and freeing my insides. My heart started to slow again, the heat dissipated, and I opened my eyes.
We were driving down a narrow country road with bushes, trees, and fields on either side of us. There was no light other than the headlights. Outside the window, everything was still shades of navy blue and purple. We had outrun the rainclouds on our journey from the city, and the sky glowed a completely clear dark blue, brightened by the twinkling stars that would be fading soon. My stomach fluttered again, this time a completely different feeling than before, and my breathing began to speed slightly. Caleb was still trying to observe both the road and me. Joshua was leaning forward in his seat, hanging onto the back of Caleb’s headrest with both hands and scrutinizing me. Caleb put a hand over mine.
Hang on, we’re almost there. I’m sorry. We came in the long way because we’re going to leave the cars in a field just up ahead and walk the rest of the way in case they’re already here.
I nodded, concentrating on the glowing feeling that was beginning to overtake me, a feeling of being lightheaded, of elation.
The car stopped, and before I could get my hand to the door handle, Caleb was at the door, lifting me out. It’s less than a two-minute walk for us, he assured me.
My head was dizzy, but the air outside the cab of the Land Rover was cool and clear. It rushed into my lungs as if I hadn’t taken a breath in days.
I looked up to Caleb’s stressed face and reached up, brushing my lips against his before I att
empted to wriggle from his embrace, pushing against his chest with both my hands. He fought me until I stared into his eyes, allowing him to read the emotions there. They registered with him quickly, and he let me go as the other jeep stopped. I rushed toward it, while at the same time the back door opened and Ben jumped out, landing on the ground with a soft thump. His ecstatic expression was a reflection of mine, his green eyes dazzlingly bright in the darkness. We almost crashed into each other, but he caught me by the tops of my arms just in time.
Do you feel it? he asked excitedly.
Caleb, Annice, Joshua, and Samuel were beside us, encircling us, their eyes transfixed, their expressions confounded. I nodded slowly, smiling, and my stomach fluttered wildly with exhilaration.
We’re home, Ben and I both whispered simultaneously.
I turned to see Caleb’s face awash with relief. He exhaled loudly.
I’m sorry, I muttered as I flung myself into his arms.
He sighed. You just gave me a bit of a scare. I thought you were about to spontaneously combust.
Ben chuckled, only to be silenced by Annice’s glare. I guessed Annice must have been worried Ben was about to spontaneously combust on the way here too and didn’t find it funny like Ben did. He must have been as unable as I was to put the feeling into words. It was like finding something precious that I didn’t know I’d lost or being away on a long journey where everything was strange and new, only to return and find home was still as it should be, still welcoming and warm. It was a feeling of belonging and safety, like you could do anything and it would always be okay. It reminded me of what it had been like that first time in the restaurant when I saw Caleb come into the room. For a moment I wondered if that’s what finding your destiny feels like.
We need to go, Caleb reminded me.
I smiled at him and offered my hand. Taking a deep breath, I glanced back to Ben. Come on, then, let’s get this over with. The stars overhead were beginning to fade, the blackness was lightening, and the air was cool enough that every breath I exhaled created gentle puffs of smoke. Caleb held firmly onto my hand as we walked up the narrow tarmac road faster than I could have done a few weeks ago. The hedgerow made it hard to see much on one side apart from a hilly green space. On the other side of the road where the ground sloped, I could see the darkened colors of a patchwork of fields and some scattered houses in the distance.
We got to the iron gate, locked with a chain, in front of a pathway that I presumed was an entrance to where we were headed. A stone wall led off from the gate toward some small buildings that were still in darkness, running by them the wide space narrowed again and continued as a road. Elevated behind the buildings I could make out an old white church surrounded by tall, imposing trees, the leaves beginning to wilt and die. There was another road to the left of us, directly facing the gray stone wall.
I guess this is it, I sighed, not speaking to anyone in particular. I readjusted my grip on Caleb’s hand in preparation to start toward the gate.
Samuel’s head was the first to turn in the direction of the road to our left, followed swiftly by Ben’s and then everyone else’s. A low grumbling sound came from the distance. My breath caught, and I moved closer to Caleb. A car was coming.
It’s not them, he whispered in a soothing voice. They would never arrive by what they would consider such vulgar methods. We all backed up toward the corner near the gate where it was still dark-est, enough that we wouldn’t be noticed by human eyes. A silver car came into the opening, an Audi.
Oh no, I mumbled as soon as I could make out who was inside.
The car stopped, the lights shut off, and we all stepped out of the corner.
Ben ran at top speed to the car and pulled the door open. I was amazed; he moved in less time than it took for the light to fade from the headlights.
Amanda stepped out and into his arms.
This can’t be happening, Caleb moaned.
Josh ran to the other door to greet Eila.
Come on, I instructed and pulled Caleb by the arm over toward the car.
Samuel and Annice followed us. Tiny stones crunched on the wet ground under our feet with each step.
I apologize, Eila said as we got nearer. She was leaning toward Joshua with her hands resting against his chest and his arms around her slim waist.
Is this a good idea? Samuel asked disapprovingly, motioning with his head toward Amanda from behind us.
How much time do we have? I whispered to Caleb, barely making a sound.
I don’t know, he breathed into my ear.
My stomach was beginning to knot, nowhere near as much as it should have given the circumstances, but the anticipation of what was coming was building. Eila stared into Joshua’s eyes as she spoke in her cool soft tone.
I’m sorry, she said, her inner turmoil reflected in her wavering voice.
My will crumbled more easily than I expected. It was too hard to stay away.
I don’t wish to stand against the rest of the Council, but I can’t stand by and watch anyone else be destroyed by them.
Caleb’s hand released from mine and slipped around my waist in what I presumed was a protective gesture. I laid my hand over his heart; its beats were too strong, pounding too hard.
I’m sorry — I’m sorry, Amanda repeated into Ben’s chest.
He hushed her repeatedly. It’ll be okay, he said, keeping her wrapped in his arms.
I wished I had his confidence.
I kept at her, Amanda confessed. I kept saying that I had to be here. Eila raised one eyebrow, her eyes darting between Ben and me. Your humans are very determined
I didn’t hear the rest. Humans? Didn’t she mean human?
Excuse me? I asked, the knots in my stomach taking hold.
She did say’s, plural. Just then I heard another car approaching, and I knew the other one of my humans had to be John. After all, I only knew two humans currently in this country.
Caleb? I murmured anxiously, looking up to him.
We don’t have time for this, he groaned through gritted teeth.
The noise grew nearer as I looked over to Amanda, but I could tell by the colors mingling and mixing around her and Ben that this was not her doing. My gaze shifted to Eila.
Annice stepped up behind us and whispered into Caleb’s ear. You need to stay calm. Stay focused.
Caleb’s eyes flashed to her, his expression instantly calming.
I knew he was following, but I couldn’t lose him without attracting attention to ourselves, Eila explained. I fear my own impatience to get here interfered with my logic. I should have tried harder.
Joshua kissed her hand, and she smiled up at him adoringly through her thick eyelashes.
I couldn’t be angry with her. If the situation were reversed, could I have stayed away from Caleb? Or would I have been able to think logically if he was facing an incredibly powerful enemy and I knew I could help? Not a chance.
I walked hesitantly to meet the car as it came into the dark clearing, Caleb a half a step behind me. Caleb, go back and wait for me, I commanded in a low voice.
No way, he answered in a voice that was almost a sneer.
The last time Caleb and John had confronted each other, I could barely control him. At least this time Annice was nearby if his emotions got out of hand, but I would still prefer distance between then.
This is not the time, Caleb, I pleaded. Let me handle it, please. He pursed his lips, debating with himself, but then conceded and rejoined the others.
The dark blue sedan stopped as soon as I was caught in its lights. So much for us coming the longer way to avoid announcing our arrival. John hopped out, not stopping to turn off the engine. His face was despairing.
His eyebrows were pulled down, and his jaw was tight, almost like he was in physical pain noticeably opposite of the strong, determined strides he took toward me.
Triona, are you all right? he asked firmly, with only a small catch in his voice.
Of course I
am, I scolded. What is wrong with you? You’re stalking me now?
I was sure I knew exactly what was wrong with him. He was bewitched.
He looked much worse than he did in the coffee shop, like he still hadn’t slept. His face was sallow and drawn with dark purple smudges under his eyes. Guilt rushed through me for my own stupidity at allowing this to happen. Not knowing any better was no excuse. John reached forward for my arm, and I flinched, looking over my shoulder to where Samuel had a restraining hand placed on one of Caleb’s shoulders. Annice’s hand was on the other shoulder as she whispered in his ear. Caleb’s expression was strained but controlled. It was more than jealously this time: Caleb simply didn’t want another distraction here jeopardizing all our safety.
Triona, I’m sorry, I can’t seem to help myself.
He didn’t look sorry. His words didn’t match his expression at all. He was looking at me somberly, like he was telling me off, or saying he was here for my own good.
You need to get out of here right now, John, I warned him. It’s too dangerous for you here. I kept my tone steady and my expression as relaxed as possible, but I knew it was getting lighter out, and we just didn’t have time to tip-toe around John’s feelings, no matter how remorseful I felt. His safety was more important.
His eyes flickered past me to Amanda standing with Ben, his arm draped around her shoulder.
I see he’s got Amanda into whatever this is. He practically spat the last words.
John seemed to think we had all been dragged into some kind of mind-controlled cult and had lost our free will completely. My heart started to pound. It was my fault he was here, but this was getting out of hand.
Look, John, I started firmly, determined to persuade him to leave.
You don’t want to know what’s going on. Believe me; you’re better off not knowing.
He narrowed his eyes and glanced at the group of people gathered behind me. The stars were all faded now, and beyond John I could see the sky brightening, streaks of gold and pink along the horizon.
