She was now head of a miniempire. Time to man up.
But how was she supposed to do that when the more time spent with Garrett reminded her just how little she’d ever wanted her current life? Back in high school, she’d never dreamed of becoming a businesswoman. Sure, she’d wanted some kind of career—but something fun. Maybe in fashion design.
Mostly what she’d doodled on her spiral notebooks was the phrase “Mrs. Eve Solomon.” What she’d fallen asleep dreaming of at night were images of the perfect family they’d one day have. Garrett would be a fireman like his dad and she’d help lots of charities like her mom.
“Ask me—” Darcie tried on the lace, peep-toe Louboutin heels Eve had worn to New York Fashion Week “—you’ve never gotten over this guy.”
“That’s crazy talk.” Tapping her watch, Eve said, “Focus. I’ve only got a couple hours till meeting Garrett and I don’t want to look like an idiot. I don’t want to stand out in a crowd, but actually belong.”
“But, sweetie—” Darcie smoothed Eve’s hair “—what makes you think you don’t belong? Everyone loves you.”
“Do they?” Gripping her friend’s hands, Eve blurted, “Is it really me they love, or the fact that I was Hal Barnesworth’s daughter? Since Daddy died, I feel adrift. He was my anchor—only he wasn’t the great man I’d built him up to be. If he was such a mess, what does that say about me? About every decision I’ve ever made?” Especially all those years ago when I cut ties with Garrett.
“Now you’re the one talking crazy…” Wiping tears from Eve’s cheeks, Darcie said, “Come on, let’s take you shopping. Everything else will work itself out in time.”
* * *
“DAMN…” GARRETT STOOD from his stool at the bar. Though Schmitty’s was still hopping from the after-work crowd, all male eyes—especially his—focused on Eve. What had she done? Long legs hugged by faded denim topped by a skintight red T sporting a mistletoe sprig. Written in script across breasts straining the thin fabric was You Know What to Do.... Her hair was long and straight and makeup bold. Full lips holly berry–red. He’d been fiercely attracted to her as a teen, but now that she was all woman—whew. Even her sky-high red heels were sexy. Despite his vow to never lose his head over a woman again, he discreetly shifted his fly. “You look amazing. What’s the occasion?”
After stealing his breath with her smile, she took the stool next to his. “We’re having burgers. And you did give me an awful lot of grief over not owning a T-shirt. Had to prove you wrong.”
He appraised the sensational full length of her. “And that just happened to be in your closet?”
“Does it matter? I’m starving.”
Laughing, he handed her one of the laminated single-page menus. “I’m having beer. Want one?”
“Why not.”
“Indeed.”
Flirty country songs played on the jukebox and by the time they’d each downed two beers and succulent burgers accompanied by the best fries in the state, Garrett felt nice and loose. After the tension of the past few days, the sensation—even if temporary—of being worry free was good.
“So tell me—” he tipped back his third longneck “—what’s got into you tonight? Here we are, supposed to be all business—comparing our search notes—but if I didn’t know better, I’d think I was dining with your bad-girl twin.”
Picking at the foil label on her nearest empty bottle, she shrugged. “Guess your needling about that stupid T-shirt got to me. Had a minimeltdown after that and voilà—here I am. The new and improved, hopefully less uptight, Eve Barnesworth.”
“I liked the old one just fine.” He gave her hand a nudge—though he was damned if he didn’t crave more. Like escorting her out onto the dance floor and holding her close even on fast songs. She brought out a fierce protective streak in him. For all her money and now power, she’d always struck him as a lost little girl in need of saving. Too bad when she’d needed him most, she’d pushed him away.
“Thanks, but if there’s one thing this search for our son has taught me, it’s that I should’ve stuck up for myself a long time ago when it came to my dad’s edicts.”
“You mean about me?” Easy enough for her to say she’d wished she’d contacted him, but that wasn’t going to make the fact that she hadn’t even bothered to call Garrett magically go away.
“You. Our son. Other things.” She sighed. “Since Daddy’s passing, I feel like I’m only just now seeing things clearly. Like up until now, my whole life was viewed first through his filter— Trust me, I know this must sound like a cop-out, but I genuinely want to change. I want Barnesworth businesses to be run with the beyond-reproach integrity they were when my grandfather was at the helm. I want to find our son.” She bowed her head. “Most of all, I want to make things right with you.”
Mouth dry, Garrett wasn’t sure what to say. What did she even mean? Did she want things back the way they’d once been between them? Or for them to be friends? Her statement was as cryptic as the odd-shaped box Santa had left under his tree for Christmas. Not to mention, infinitely more intriguing.
“Wanna dance?” A slow song played and the floor had filled with couples. The lighting was low and thousands of white Christmas lights twinkled on the wood-beamed ceiling.
“Ah, sure.” He set his beer on the bar, then held out his hand to help her down. Her heels had her indecipherable stare at nearly his eye level, and wondering what was running through that pretty head of hers made him nuts.
With his hands low on her hips and her cheek pressed to his chest, Garrett couldn’t remember a time he’d been more confused. Holding her felt right. As if all that time between them had been erased and they were back in their high-school gym.
Could she feel the chaotic beat of his heart?
She looked up. Her eyes were shiny, as if tears were pending, but the hard set to her jaw said she wasn’t about to let anything ruin their night.
He wanted to kiss her. Damn, he wanted to kiss her. Need for her tugged him in a hundred directions. If he followed base urges, then what? They’d already tried a relationship and it hadn’t worked.
But then she took his every fear and replaced them with pure pleasure. She kissed him slow and hard and with just enough pressure to let him know she’d been craving him, too.
Through song after song, they danced and made out like teens, and didn’t talk—in fact, made it a point not to talk. In the morning, none of this might even turn out to be real, but for now, he wanted all of her more than he could bear.
“Wanna get out of here?” he asked in a low tone, almost afraid of her answer.
Hands pressed to his chest, she nodded. “Where?”
“It’s not fancy, but there’s a perfectly good motel down the street.”
“Yes.”
“Sure?”
She answered with a kiss.
Chapter Seven
What are you doing?
Finally alone in the room Garrett had paid for with cash, Eve lightly shivered. The night had been balmy when she’d entered the bar—far too warm for a coat. Now the air had turned chilly—at least until Garrett ran his hands up her arms to warm her, sending his heat shimmering through her.
“You’re so beautiful…” He cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. “I’ve wanted this for so long it feels like a dream.”
“I know.” She slipped her hands under his T-shirt, exploring the impossibly toned ripples of his abs. He’d been in good shap
e in high school, but now, his physical perfection was daunting. What would he think of her?
When she next kissed him, she worked his button-fly jeans undone. His arousal was no secret and when she cupped him, he groaned with pleasure.
He peeled her T-shirt over her head, tossing it onto a dresser, then lowered his attentions to her breasts, suckling hard through her scrap of a bra. Swelling and achy with need, she pressed him closer, running her fingers along his soft hair.
He paused to jerk the spread and blanket from the bed, then snagged her around her waist, tugging her on top of him. Her hair veiled his face, but he framed her cheeks, kissing her, kissing her, sweeping her tongue. He tasted of beer and smelled of his hauntingly familiar masculine blend of sun and sweat.
While the rational part of her told her to stop this before it got further out of hand, truthfully, that was exactly what she wanted. More than anything, she wanted to feel whole again—like a strong, capable woman who wasn’t all the time crying, but fighting for what she wanted. At the moment, Garrett very much fit that bill.
“Take this off.” She yanked at his shirt.
“Yes, ma’am.” Light from the parking lot illuminated his broad shoulders and rock-solid chest. He was a professional warrior and one hundred percent looked the part.
She wriggled free of her jeans, then helped him with his.
“What’s got into you?” he asked, slowing her down. “We’ve got all night.”
Not really. At any moment, she might lose her nerve.
“I want you now.” Need you.
“I don’t have protection.”
“It’s okay.” Remembering the trouble he used to have with her bras, she removed it for him.
“Eve…” Still in his boxers, Garrett rolled onto his side, resting his head on his fist. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Was she not good enough for him? Had she hurt him so badly he was no longer interested? “Would you just hurry up and do this?”
“Whoa.” Hands high in surrender, he sat up. “Now I know something’s messing with your head.”
“Don’t you find me attractive?” Her throat knotted.
He sighed. “Not to be crass, but the size of my erection doesn’t lie. Make no mistake, I want you as bad as I’ve ever wanted any woman, but not like this. Not with you acting as if a personal demon’s nipping your heels.”
“You’re wrong.” On his side of the bed, she straddled him, kissing him quiet and then blazing a moist trail down his chest and lower until the last thing on his mind was more talking.
With her on top, she took him into her. At first, his size was painful—it’d been so long, but then her body adjusted to welcome him in. With each stroke, she alternately blossomed and wilted. Being with him now brought pure joy. Knowing this must never happen again brought unspeakable pain.
Tonight, she’d given herself a free pass to be whoever she wanted. In the morning, however, she had to revert to old ways. She had literally thousands of employees depending on her to keep a clear head. Beyond that, Garrett deserved more. A whole and complete woman who could one day give him the children he deserved and who’d raise them as well as his mother had him.
Over and over she struck a rhythm old as time.
He pressed his hands to her hips, rising to meet her.
Sooner than she’d have liked, the sweet pressure building and spreading inside her shimmered in blinding white. Garrett tensed and the feel of his spilling seed only served as a lonely reminder that inside her, his child would never again find a home.
* * *
FAR TOO SOBER, GARRETT bunched pillows beneath his head and stared at the ceiling while Eve showered. She’d been consenting—hell, she’d practically thrown herself at him, so why, when they should’ve been cuddling, breaking down all that had gone wrong between them, was he on his own, feeling helpless while listening to her sob?
Finally having had enough, he went to her, drawing back the curtain to find her shivering beneath the water’s cold spray, hugging her knees.
“Eve…” After turning off the water, he grabbed an armful of towels. Climbing into the tub, he sat behind her, tenderly wrapping her, holding her until her shivers and tears subsided. “When you’re ready, tell me what this was about.”
“L-love to,” she said through a sniffle, “once I figure it out myself.”
“You haven’t grieved your dad. Think you’re missing him?”
She half laughed. “What’s funny—I don’t miss him as much as the man I thought he was. The warm, funny, caring father I centered my life around was a lie, and I’m scared I’m only on the verge of those lies unraveling.”
Stroking Eve’s hair, Garrett listened, tried understanding how she’d seen such a different image of Hal than he had. For Garrett, Hal represented the locked gate that’d led to Eve. Eve—all he’d ever wanted. Yet now, all they’d once shared seemed dreamlike. As with dreams, they were fleeting. Once gone, they didn’t come back. Garrett loved this woman more than he’d imagined it possible to love. Now? He feared never again feeling that deeply. In the same breath, he was scared of once again hurting that deeply.
The two of them hadn’t made love tonight; they’d had sex. And it was great. But it didn’t change the truth between them—that there wasn’t a them. Would never be. Couldn’t be. And that made Garrett sad, but more determined than ever to see this search for their son through. While the two of them as a couple may not work out, maybe—just maybe—finding their son would.
“You gonna be okay?” He kissed the top of her head. The tenderness he felt for her stemmed from somewhere deep inside he didn’t wholly understand. In this moment, he recognized that despite their physical separation, because of their shared past, she’d forever be a part of him.
She nodded. “I needed to break down to be able to get back up.”
“I get that.” He kissed her again. Not as a lover, but as a dear, long-lost friend. “Thank you for feeling safe enough to be able to show your truth to me. I won’t—could never—judge you.”
“Thank you for that.” When she snuggled against him, her warmth and trust swelled his chest. Carried him to a good place he feared he’d never be again.
* * *
THE NEXT AFTERNOON DARCIE winced upon hearing Eve’s retelling of her night with Garrett. Eve almost wished she hadn’t told her. “When we got you all dolled up to have fun, I never thought you two would end up in bed.”
“Me, neither.” Perched on the corner of Darcie’s desk, Eve sighed. “The worst thing is, after my meltdown, he held me, and no matter how hard I tried convincing myself that wasn’t what I wanted—you know, being close to him on that kind of level—it felt so good, that physical closeness.” She covered her face with her hands. “What a mess. I can’t be into him. And even if he was interested in me, what would I offer? When it comes to relationships, I’m a broken shell. First, I allowed my dad to call my every move, then Matt, then my dad again. I have to figure out how to care for myself before even thinking of taking on someone else. Beyond that, we share this lost son—a son I’m responsible for losing. Why didn’t I ask more questions? At the very least ask to see his little body? What was wrong with me that I just let my dad handle the whole situation? Especially dismissing Garrett as if he were no more important than a gardener.”
“Sweetie, you were only sixteen.” Her friend gave Eve a hug. “Nobody makes all the right decisions at any age—let
alone as a teenager.”
Eve shook her head. “I’m not using age as an excuse.”
“So what? You planning on living the rest of your life blaming yourself for a tough situation your dad essentially stole from your control?”
“I don’t know what to do. And now there’s the whole illegal-immigrant mess to deal with here. I spent the morning fielding questions from reporters. They seem to think my trying to now help make those employees legal is a smoke screen for some nefarious bigger plan. Like because it’s the Christmas season, I’m trying to spin the negative publicity. It’s nuts. Really, deeply nuts.”
Taking two Snickers bars from her bottom drawer, Darcie offered one to Eve, then leaned back in her chair to unwrap her treat. “How about we tackle one issue at a time? First, we stress eat with a little chocolate, then everything else will seem better.”
Eve raised her candy in a toast. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
* * *
“LOOK, LET’S GO AHEAD and get this elephant out in the open.” Garrett set the file he’d been reading on the conference table in the room next to Eve’s office. They’d set up shop there for the night, continuing what was starting to feel like a never-ending search through Hal’s mountain of files. Outside holiday lights seemed to immerse the entire town in a happy glow, but between the two of them gloom ruled. “We had sex. It was great, but that was last night and tonight, we need to get through as many of these files as possible. Preferably while being able to speak to each other in a civil manner at least.”
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