She really wanted to talk to him, though. Even if she never saw him again, she wanted him to know the truth about Rick, the lawsuit, everything. It would kill her if Evan thought she’d betrayed him. But it wasn’t going to be easy to talk to him when he wouldn’t even meet her eyes.
Time seemed to inch by as she waited, expecting to see the police show up at the door. But the only people she saw were nosy neighbors ducking their heads in for a look. Evan made them move as the paramedics prepared Rick for transport. Once the path was clear, they picked Rick up and started down the stairs.
Neither paramedic said a word to her, and she knew she had Evan to thank for that. Not that she thought she’d get out of being questioned, but later she’d be more composed. She grabbed her purse, making sure her keys hadn’t fallen out, and then followed them down, face straight ahead so that she didn’t have to look at the crowd of people who’d gathered. Not trusting her weakened knees, she kept a firm hold on the railing, even when she heard Freedom call out to her.
But Liza did look up then, and motioned Freedom to stay back. Mary Ellen stared in horrified silence. Liza managed to give her a reassuring smile before joining Evan and the paramedics at the back of the ambulance.
“We’re taking him to Grady Memorial,” the taller, muscled paramedic said, with a glance in her direction.
“I guess I should follow,” she said, not sure if the words had stayed in her head or passed her lips.
Evan looked at her, his gaze going to her trembling hands, which she still couldn’t seem to control. “I’ll take you.”
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Go get in the car.” He pointed the remote at the Camry and unlocked the doors. “I’ll be right there.”
She nodded, her gaze straying to the ambulance. The doors were open and she could see Rick lying on the gurney. One of the paramedics was hooking him up to something.
“Go, Liza.”
She looked over at Evan, wanting reassurance. His expression was grim.
* * *
Evan spoke to the E.R. doctor for a few minutes, giving him a rundown on Rick’s condition and the events leading up to his losing consciousness. He probably should’ve let Liza do the talking, but she was still a mess and since he was pretty sure she had nothing to do with what happened to Rick, Evan didn’t see the point.
He went to the crowded waiting area where he told her he’d meet her. She sat forward in one of the hard brown chairs, hands clasped, her elbows resting on her thighs, her head hanging. She didn’t seem to be shaking too much anymore. Good. He wouldn’t have to give her a sedative.
She glanced up when he picked up her purse, which had been sitting on the chair next to her. “How’s he doing?”
He handed her the purse, and then sat down. “He’ll live.”
This time she genuinely looked relieved. Straightening, she asked, “Was it the drugs?”
Evan nodded. “I’m pretty sure he has a concussion, too, but the drugs are what got him.”
“Are the police coming?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Liza.”
She briefly closed her eyes and then stared down at the floor. “You have no idea.”
“You said you shoved him in self-defense.”
“I did.” She looked warily at him. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
He looked away, his attention landing on a little girl clutching a dirty rag doll with one hand, and the arm of an older woman with her other. Grady Memorial was a nightmare. On any given night, the trauma center was likely to have more shooting victims than they could handle and tonight was no exception.
“Evan?”
It was late. He was tired. More importantly, did he really want to hear what she had to say? He checked his watch and got to his feet. “It’s after midnight. I’ll drive you home.”
“What about the hospital paperwork?” She got up, too, and put a hand on his arm. “Don’t I have to sign something?”
“Are you two married?”
She blushed, and lowered her hand. “Of course not.”
“Then you don’t have to worry about it,” he said, studying the way she tightly clasped her hands together. In spite of himself, he wondered what the hell this guy held over her.
“I guess not, but I am kind of responsible for—” She gave an angry shake of her head. “No, you’re right. This isn’t on me.”
The place was so packed someone had already claimed their seats, and Evan motioned for her to precede him between the narrow rows of chairs. Besides, this was a hell of a place to be discussing anything so personal.
He watched her from behind, admiring how she’d dressed up in the off-the-shoulder sweater and silky pants. Had tonight gone as planned, they’d have had a nice dinner, gone to the concert and been in his bed by now. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not tonight. Not ever again.
Neither spoke until they’d passed the sad-looking Christmas tree in the lobby near the exit doors. Then Liza said, “Thank you, Evan, for coming to my rescue tonight. For bringing me here. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
“No problem.” He couldn’t look at her. Instead he busied himself with fishing his keys out of his pocket. Frankly, he would’ve preferred silence all the way back to her place. At this point, there wasn’t anything she could say that would stop him from feeling like a chump. No matter which way he cut it, she’d used him.
“I know it’s late—”
“Yep, and I have an early appointment tomorrow.” Out of his peripheral vision he saw her turn sharply away.
“I need to talk to you,” she said in a small voice he barely heard.
He paused, really tired all of a sudden. As if he’d been working a twenty-four-hour rotation. “I doubt there’s anything to say.”
Her laugh came out shaky. “I have so much to explain it could take the rest of the night.”
Luckily, they got to his car quickly. He’d cheated and used the physician’s parking area. Although he wasn’t on staff here, tonight he figured he’d earned the spot. He unlocked the doors and, out of habit, he went around to open Liza’s. Their eyes briefly meeting, a small regretful smile lifted the corners of her mouth before she got inside.
He went around the car, gulping in cold air. This would be a damn long ride to her place. If he’d been thinking straight, he would’ve called her a cab. Given her the money for the ride home. He’d done enough. Hell, who was he kidding? He could never have thrown her into a cab. Not tonight. Tomorrow was a different story.
He got behind the wheel, not knowing what to say. Nothing she could tell him would turn back time. The damage had been done. Maybe she’d figured that out for herself because she didn’t say anything, either.
After they’d been on the road for about ten minutes, she said, “I can’t imagine what’s going through your mind right now, and I don’t expect us to pick up where we left off….”
Man, she got that right.
“I’m not sure I’m entitled to even hope for forgiveness, but I have to explain what’s behind all this.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t.”
“Evan…”
“You know what first attracted me to you?” he asked, keeping his eyes straight ahead. “You were refreshingly straightforward. You told it like it was. No games or bullshit.”
“I am that person,” she said softly. “This thing with Rick isn’t just about me.”
He shook his head as another thought occurred. With Rick out of the way, assuming she won the lawsuit, the money would be all hers. Evan exhaled sharply. Wow, he’d been such a damn fool.
“Please, Evan, I know an all-night coffee shop not far from here.”
Right, so she could tell him more lies. Another block and they were at her apartment complex. He turned in and stopped in front of her building. “Good luck, Liza, I hope you get what you want.”
He refused to look in her direction. He simply waited for her to ge
t out, and then he sped away.
Chapter 15
Shortly after three-thirty that morning, sheer physical and mental exhaustion forced Liza to close her eyes. Sleep hadn’t been soothing. Nightmares claimed her subconscious. Rick with his head bashed in and bleeding all over her. The police banging at her door. Handcuffs clamped around her wrists, while Eve and Jane stood off in the distance, laughing and pointing.
The most horrifying of all was the one where Evan sat on what appeared to be a throne, hovering several feet off the ground, watching her, shaking his head, tears brimming in his eyes. No matter how much she pleaded for him to listen, he said nothing and stared at her in abject disappointment.
Light had forced its way through the worn curtains before she opened her eyes again. She still lay on the couch where she’d collapsed after Evan had dropped her off. She still had on her clothes from last night and, fortunately, her watch. Feeling as if it weighed a ton, she lifted her wrist and squinted. It was already nine-forty.
The inside of her mouth was dry and nauseating, reminding her that she hadn’t even brushed her teeth. She pushed to her feet. Someone pounded at the door. Probably one of the neighbors, maybe even Mary Ellen. Ignoring them, she padded to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror was painful, so she lowered her head and got to the business of brushing her teeth and washing her face.
Next she’d call the hospital and check on Rick. She hoped he was okay. Maybe the frightening episode would wake him up and he’d get the help he needed. Astonishingly, the animosity she’d felt toward him for the past year had vanished. A calmness had eerily settled over her at some point last night.
Maybe it was because she was too drained to feel anything, or maybe it was the fact that she’d already made her decision to end the lawsuit and tell Eve and Jane everything…to not allow Rick to hold the diaries over her head like a club.
Eve and Jane would think she was insane for waiting until a week before the judge was supposed to hear the case. She’d put them through so much, but sadly, it had taken this long for Liza to swallow her pride, tell them the truth and ask for their help. Nearly a year of her life wasted because of pride.
All her life she’d handled everything herself. “Never risk disappointment by asking someone for help” was her motto. Ironic that she’d decided to tell Evan everything at dinner last night. Expose herself as the fool she’d been, and then if he wasn’t totally disgusted with her, ask for his forgiveness. Too late now. Evan would never…
A sob swelled in her throat.
Damn, she couldn’t get all soft and mushy now. She had a lot to do today. None of it pleasant. In the end, she’d feel better. And Eve and Jane would still hate her. And Evan…she could not go there.
She finished toweling off her face, and decided on making a couple of calls before taking a shower. Whoever had been knocking at the door was at it again. Great background noise for her phone calls.
Annoyed with the person’s persistence, she didn’t check the window to see who it was and jerked open the door. It was Mary Ellen, without Freedom. Thank God.
“I have been worried sick about you,” the other woman said and walked past her into the apartment. She turned to face Liza, her eyes wide with a mixture of fear and relief. “What happened last night?”
Liza closed the door but didn’t encourage Mary Ellen to advance into the apartment. “Rick overdosed.”
“Is he okay?”
“He was last night. I was about to call the hospital to check on him.”
“You looked awful when the ambulance came,” Mary Ellen said, her face pale, the scar near her lip pronounced. “I thought you killed him.”
“I bet everyone did.”
Mary Ellen nodded.
Oddly, Liza didn’t care. What did bother her was that she wouldn’t have any money from the lawsuit to help Mary Ellen and her daughter. “Is Freedom okay?”
“Yep, she’s in the playground. She thought you killed the stupid bastard, too.”
“She didn’t say it like that, I hope.”
Mary Ellen vigorously shook her head. “She’s a good girl.”
“Yes, she is.” Liza sighed. Somehow she had to help them. She’d be getting a job soon, and there was still about twenty-two-hundred dollars left of her inheritance in a savings account she’d squirreled away for an emergency. “Look, Mary Ellen,” Liza said, her hand on the doorknob. “I have a lot to do today, but I’ll see if I can pick up burgers for dinner.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” She opened the door. “See you later, okay?”
“Good luck today,” Mary Ellen said on her way out. After she stepped outside she turned back to Liza, and with a frown said, “You’re different.”
Liza smiled. “Actually, I feel like my old self for the first time in a year.”
* * *
The midtown Italian restaurant, with its red-and-white checkered tablecloths and vases of fresh white daisies on each table, had once been a favorite of Eve, Jane and Liza’s. Sitting as far back as she could, Liza waited for the other two to arrive, while mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to them.
It was simple, really. She’d tell them about Rick having the diaries—the reason for the lawsuit—and that as of three hours ago, his doctor expected him to make a full recovery. He’d probably still want money in exchange for the diaries. Yep, real simple.
Sighing, she pushed aside the second cocktail napkin she’d shredded. The fact that they’d agreed to meet her and hadn’t told her to go to hell was a good sign. After what they’d witnessed last night, pity alone could be the reason. But she’d accept any crumb they were willing to throw her. She owed them an explanation.
She saw Jane first, her hair so much blonder and longer now. Eve was right behind her, turning heads as they walked across the restaurant. Liza waved and they headed for her. Feeling awkward suddenly, she wished she’d had a glass of wine or something to calm the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.
“Hello, Liza,” Eve said first, while pulling out a chair.
“Hi.” Jane looked uncomfortable.
“Thanks for coming,” Liza said, despising how formal she sounded. “I’m sure you’d rather have told me to kiss off.”
“That’s not true,” Jane said, claiming her seat. “I’ve missed you. We both have,” she added, glancing at Eve, who busied herself with spreading the white linen napkin across her lap and refused to look up.
Liza smiled. Jane looked different, but she was still the same sweet woman who’d always been the one to smooth over the rough spots among the three of them. Eve was another story. Not that she hadn’t always been a great friend, but she could be a tough cookie.
“So, what’s on your mind?” an unsmiling Eve finally asked, with caution in her eyes.
Liza cleared her throat. “First, I want to apologize. I know that sounds weak. You both have every right to be furious with me. But I—” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat again and then took a quick sip of water.
Neither woman spoke, but the compassion and hope she saw in their eyes gave her courage. The waitress came and took their drink orders, giving Liza another moment to compose herself.
“Eve, I did something horrible,” she said the second the woman left. “I’m going to explain, but please don’t get angry, just listen. I need to tell you this. It’s important. For you.”
Eve frowned. “I’m listening.”
Liza took a deep breath. “Remember after your grandmother died, I offered to pack up her house?”
Eve slowly nodded.
“You asked me not to take Rick. I did anyway.” Liza had loved Grammie as if she were her own grandmother. Not even Eve and Jane understood how devastating the woman’s death had been for Liza. She’d been too good at playing tough. Letting everything roll off her back, including her parents’ indifference toward her.
But when the time came to go to the old house belonging to the woman who’d m
ade childhood bearable, Liza had crumbled like stale bread. She’d taken Rick with her for support. But that was no excuse, and she wouldn’t use it now.
To her surprise, Eve’s expression softened. “I should never have asked you to do that. It was selfish of me.”
“No.” Liza shook her head. “I was the selfish one. I failed you.”
“You loved her, too, Liza,” Eve said softly. “She was as much your grandmother as she was mine. You practically lived with us.”
Liza had to blink back the emotion welling in her eyes. Eve understood about Grammie.
“Please tell me that’s not what kept you away from us for the past year,” Jane said, her expression horrified.
This was the hard part. Liza had to force herself to breathe. “There’s more to it. Rick took something that belongs to you, Eve. I didn’t know about it until…until a year ago.”
The two women exchanged nervous glances, and then Eve asked, “What did he take?”
“Your diaries.”
Eve slumped back and looking dazed. “The journals I started after my parents died,” she said, more to herself. “How many did he take?”
“All of them.”
“Oh, God.” Jane covered her mouth.
Silence fell when the waitress returned with their drinks and set them down. They declined to order any food, and the woman left.
“There has to be a couple dozen notebooks,” Eve said, her hand unsteady as she picked up her iced tea. “I stopped journaling right before we left for college.”
“I didn’t read anything,” Liza assured her. “I didn’t find out he took them until way after the fact.” Seeing the fear in her friend’s eyes, Liza wanted to cry, but that would do no good. “He wants money for them.”
Eve’s gaze narrowed before awareness dawned. “Is that what the lawsuit’s about?”
Liza nodded.
“He’s been blackmailing you?” Jane stared in disbelief. “This whole time?”
“Why didn’t you come to us before now?” Eve asked, with so much hurt in her eyes that it left Liza cold.
What She Really Wants For Christmas Page 15
