The Orphan Collection

by Maggie Hope

  She flew down the three flights of stairs, her heart singing, Johnny’s here, Johnny’s back. Nothing and no one could possibly spoil the sheer happiness she felt at the thought of him waiting for her upstairs.

  In the main ward, which was actually the drawing room of the Hall converted to hold twelve beds, Ada found the men settled down for the night. She walked round the beds, checking that everything was in order. There were unlikely to be any problems that night, she knew, for most of the patients had been there for a while and were well on the way to recovery. Some of them were still awake and soft calls of ‘Good night, Matron’ followed her on her way.

  The second ward was quiet too. There was a young boy in a small room at the end of the hall, which had once been the master’s study, she supposed. He was moving restlessly in his bed, grunting incoherently.

  Ada went in and laid her hand on his forehead, murmuring soothing words of comfort to him and he relaxed into sleep. He was fresh from a field hospital in France and still plagued by nightmares. A cradle in the bed kept the bedclothes from irritating the now healing wound at the end of his thigh where his left leg should have been.

  ‘He’s had his sedative, Nurse?’

  ‘Yes, at nine thirty, Matron, as Doctor ordered,’ Nurse Simpson whispered.

  ‘He should sleep till morning then.’

  They left the door ajar so that Nurse Simpson could hear him if he woke, and went to the desk in the hall where she would sit between duties during the night.

  ‘I’ll leave you then, Nurse, I don’t think you’ll need me again tonight.’

  Ada noticed that Nurse Simpson had left an unemptied bedpan in the makeshift sluice – a patient had called and no doubt she had forgotten to go back to it – but Ada was too happy to mention it. Nurse Simpson emptied and cleaned it now and put it in the rack before going out again to check on the patients, thankful that for once Matron’s all-seeing eyes had missed it.

  ‘Mind, she’s in a good mood tonight,’ she said to her junior with a sniff.

  Upstairs, Ada found Johnny still sitting by the fire, his long legs stretched out before him and his hands behind his head.

  ‘You look comfortable,’ she said, unable to stop smiling, for coming up that last flight of stairs she had had a moment of panic when she thought it had all been a dream: when she got into her rooms there would be no one there, she was convinced of it. She had run the last few steps along the landing to her door.

  ‘Have you eaten?’ she asked, eager to do something for him. ‘I can make some scrambled eggs, I only have a gas ring but I can easily do that. Are you hungry?’

  ‘I’m famished,’ he said and followed her to the doorway of her tiny kitchen, watching as she whisked eggs and heated butter in a frying pan. Ada kept looking up and seeing him there, watching, and when their eyes met they smiled delightedly at each other. She prepared a tray, which he carried into the sitting room, and they ate before the fire, enjoying every single bite. Ada felt as though she had never tasted such a delicious meal before.

  Ada saw for the first time the Canada emblem on his shoulder and gasped. Johnny had been out of England all this time and she hadn’t even known it. She couldn’t believe it.

  ‘Canada?’ she asked.

  Johnny told her briefly about his life in Canada and she swelled with pride at his success. He told her that he had come back to England with the Canadian Army and she had a twinge of fear for him – would he be going back to France? Of course she knew he would; he was on leave, that was all. And he told her about his visit to his sister-in-law in Middlesbrough and finding her letter waiting for him.

  ‘It must have been meant, my love,’ he said, and her heart swelled yet again when he said, ‘my love’.

  For a moment, as the clock struck twelve she thought he would say he had to go, but he didn’t. Instead he took her hand and drew her into the bedroom and she went with him, for the first time in her nursing career heedless of the patients in their beds below, forgetting that she might be called if anything went wrong with them.

  They made love in Ada’s narrow bed, urgently, with an overwhelming passion. And at last, in the small hours, they slept, deeply and dreamlessly. It never occurred to Ada that she had not once been afraid of making love with Johnny, nor once thought of Harry Parker. At last she was free of him and the terrible fear.

  Some time during the night, Johnny’s hands on her body woke her and they made love again, slowly and less urgently this time but still as sweetly. And then they slept again, like two children, huddled together, arms wrapped round each other.

  In the first light of dawn, Ada stirred and turned over to snuggle closer to him. She came properly awake as she failed to find him and she sat up in the bed, thinking he had gone. Fear rose swiftly in her. She fell back on her pillow as she saw him. He was up, pulling on his uniform, and her heart dropped as she saw he was getting ready to leave. Morning had to come, she knew that, but oh, why couldn’t they stay here for ever?

  ‘Darling.’ He bent over the pillow and kissed her when he saw she was awake and watching him. ‘I was going to wake you before I went, I couldn’t leave you like that. But I have to go, this is the last day of my leave, I have to join my unit. And you, you have responsibilities too. My little Ada-Lorinda, I’m so proud of you, you’ve done so well.’ He sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘I have to go but I’ll be back. We can’t lose each other ever again. What fools we’ve been! Me in particular.’

  He picked up her left hand and as he did so his gaze fell upon the third finger with its wedding band of gold.

  ‘Tell me about this. I have to know. You can’t love him, how could you – you love me, even though we were apart for so long. I know you love me, just as I love you. Tell me it was a mistake, tell me you’ll be here for me when I come back. We can’t waste any more of our lives.’ His tone was insistent, imperious even.

  ‘It was a mistake.’

  Ada understood his meaning perfectly. She felt as he did, there was no room for anything but absolute honesty between them now, or ever.

  ‘I never loved him, you’re right. I shouldn’t have married him. But he was so kind to me, his whole family too. But I shouldn’t have, I knew I shouldn’t have, I was engaged to him for years and I know I should have broken it off before I married him. But I thought you were dead, Johnny, I did really. I came through to Middlesbrough to see you and they told me you were dead. Oh, Johnny, I thought I would die too.’

  Johnny remembered the girl who answered the door that last time he had come looking for Ada.

  ‘I know. I came to Durham before I went to Canada, you know, I got your address from Eliza. I came to the Grays’ house. And a girl told me it was your engagement party. So I left –’

  Ada gave a strangled cry of distress and buried her face in his tunic. Oh, Virginia, she thought, why did you do that? He wrapped her in his arms and rocked her to and fro.

  ‘Lorinda, my love, don’t cry for what might have been. We’ve years ahead of us yet. Forget all that – just tell me you’ll leave him now, give me something to come back to.’

  ‘Johnny, I owe him so much. I know I should never have married him and it has been a sham from the beginning. But there is his career as a doctor, he says, divorce is out of the question. Oh, I don’t know, I really don’t.’

  ‘Well, promise you’ll talk to him when you can, or write to him – that’s it. Will you? For I’m telling you, I’m not going to give you up now, I swear it.’

  She clung to him, emotion flooding through her. She felt the same, of course she did, how could she give Johnny up now? And Tom didn’t really want her, she knew he didn’t.

  ‘He’s an army surgeon now,’ she said at last. ‘He’s in France and I don’t think I’ll see him, not for a while yet, anyway. And it’s not something I can put in a letter, is it?’

  She looked up at Johnny. His face was white and set, and she knew that if it came to a choice between hurting him or hurting Tom she wou
ld not have the strength to hurt Johnny.

  ‘I love you, Johnny, oh, I do, and I know it’s right for us to be together. I can’t write to him, I can’t, but I will tell him as soon as I can. I promise I’ll be waiting for you, Johnny.’

  Johnny was content, he could ask no more of her. The daylight was getting stronger and time was pressing, he had to get to the station for his train. And Ada too, realised she had to hurry to relieve the night staff. Their idyllic but brief interlude was over.

  Shivering, more with distress than the cold, she washed, splashing cold water over her face and arms and rubbing them vigorously with a rough towel. She scrambled into her clothes and Johnny watched her as she combed her hair and piled it on top of her head, pinning on her cap, her actions becoming slower for she was reluctant to go. At the door, he took her in his arms once more.

  ‘You’ll see, my love,’ he whispered in her ear, ‘it will come right in the end, when this war is over. And then we’ll have a new life in Canada. Ada will be gone for ever and there will only be Johnny and Lorinda.’

  Ada smiled up at him, still under the enchantment of the evening before and the night after it. Of course everything would be all right – she had Johnny now, hadn’t she?

  They went downstairs together and Ada was glad that there was no one about in the hall, though the voices of the nurses could be heard from the main ward. She said goodbye to him at the front door, clinging to him for an instant before letting him go. Then she stood, holding the door half-closed as she watched him walk down the drive, turning to wave to her as he rounded the corner.

  In her absorption she completely missed seeing Nurse Simpson and one of the young VADs as they came out of the ward into the hall, their mouths dropping in astonishment as they saw Matron bidding farewell to a Canadian officer. They glanced at each other slyly and slipped into the sluice.

  ‘I thought she was married to a British Army doctor!’ the VAD gasped.

  Nurse Simpson nodded, her eyes bright with the knowledge of Matron’s fall from grace. ‘She is, she is indeed,’ she said.

  For the next few weeks, Ada went about her work with renewed energy. She felt so happy that even Private Holmes, the young boy who had lost a leg, was infected by it. He began to watch for her approach, and answered her ready smile as she entered his room; he always wanted her to change his dressing for him.

  Ada wasn’t worried about this. She had been nursing long enough to know that patients often fell for their nurses, and it wasn’t serious. As soon as they recovered and went home, the nurse they left behind was forgotten, which was just as well. She saw Private Holmes gradually beginning to emerge from the dark depression which had descended on him when he was wounded. He actually began to talk eagerly of the day when his stump would be healed enough for him to try on the artificial leg which was being made for him.

  Ada was walking with Private Holmes across the lawn at the back of the Hall one day in May when Tom came back once again. Private Holmes was walking with crutches by this time, his stump was healing nicely.

  ‘Now, are you warm enough?’ Ada said as she tucked a rug round him once he was settled on a garden bench. Though the sun was warm by now, sometimes a chilly breeze seemed to spring up from nowhere.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine, thank you, Matron,’ he answered, and peered round as something caught his attention behind her.

  ‘Is that officer looking for you, Matron?’

  Ada’s heart leaped and she swung round to look. ‘John –’ she began before the light died in her eyes as she saw Tom, standing on the path a few yards away, watching her.

  ‘Just call if you need anything,’ she said swiftly to Private Holmes and walked slowly, reluctantly, to meet her husband.

  ‘Hello, Tom,’ Ada greeted him.

  ‘Ada,’ he answered, and Ada felt slightly sick. The time had come. Tom was here and she had promised Johnny she would tell him. But first there were the formalities to get through.

  ‘How are you?’ she asked. ‘You should have let me know you were coming, I could have arranged the afternoon off. Never mind, I can spare a little while. Shall we go up to my rooms?’

  Tom nodded his head gravely and fell into step with her. They went into the Hall and Ada sought out her deputy.

  ‘Will you look after things for me, Sister? My husband has arrived, I would like a little time with him. I know you should be off duty shortly, but –’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry, Matron. I’ll stay as long as you like. You go off if you like, it’s not every day your husband comes home,’ Sister assured her.

  ‘Thank you, Sister.’ Ada and Tom went up the stairs with Sister looking after them curiously.

  ‘They didn’t look too happy,’ she said, as she confided in her friend at tea, ‘not for a couple who hadn’t seen each other in months. But then, there’s the rumours about Matron and the Canadian officer she entertained in her room.’ Sister pursed her lips primly.

  ‘It’s no business of mine, of course it isn’t and Matron Gray is very good at her job, but really, when a man’s at the front he didn’t ought to have to be worrying about his wife’s behaviour, that’s what Nurse Simpson said and I agreed with her.’

  Her friend nodded slowly and took a sip of tea.

  ‘Sit down, Tom, I’ll make some tea,’ Ada said as she closed the door to her rooms.

  ‘I’m not interested in tea, Ada,’ he answered. He stalked over to the fireplace and took up a stance with his back to the fire and his hands behind him. He stared levelly at her and Ada’s colour rose; for a brief moment she wondered if he could see the difference in her since they last met. But she kept her own voice level even as she moved towards him.

  ‘Sit down then, Tom, you make me nervous.’ She attempted to lighten the coming conversation with a little laugh. But Tom ignored her and so Ada stayed on her feet too; she had vivid memories of Tom towering over her the last time they had met. ‘Er … How long have you got this time, Tom? You’re staying at your parents’, I suppose?’ Ada could have bitten out her tongue after the last sentence, knowing how it infuriated Tom to be reminded that his own house was closed up.

  But Tom was not thinking about that, not now. He came straight to the nub of what he wanted to say. ‘I have been hearing some disturbing rumours about you, Ada. I want to know if they are the truth.’

  ‘Rumours?’

  ‘You heard what I said, Ada, rumours. And not only that, I have had a letter.’

  Tom unbuttoned the top pocket of his tunic and pulled out a small blue envelope. He handed it over to Ada, watching her face intently as he did so.

  Ada’s forehead creased in puzzlement, she genuinely couldn’t think what he was talking about for a minute. She looked at the envelope; it was addressed to Tom care of Dr and Mrs Gray, and had been re-addressed from there to France. Slowly she opened it, her gaze going directly to the bottom of the writing for the signature. There was no name; the letter was signed ‘A friend’. But the writing was familiar somehow, she had seen it somewhere before, she was sure. The message was short and to the point.

  ‘Dear Dr Gray, I think you ought to know that your wife has been entertaining a colonial officer in her rooms. I don’t think it right that you should be kept in the dark about this.’

  Ada read the letter twice before lifting her gaze to Tom. Her heart sank, she didn’t know what to say. What she did know was that she wasn’t going to deny Johnny, it was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to her and she refused to feel guilty, dirty or disloyal.

  ‘Well?’ Tom dropped the question into the small silence.

  ‘What do you want me to say?’

  ‘I want you to tell me the truth. Did you have a man in your rooms?’

  ‘Yes, I did.’

  Tom gave a muffled exclamation and stepped forward, raising his hands to her. Ada took an involuntary step back from him.

  ‘I was going to tell you, I promised I would tell you, I didn’t want to write it in a letter, Tom,
I couldn’t help what happened, I couldn’t.’

  ‘Who is he? Where did you meet this man – a foreigner? By God, Ada –’

  ‘He’s not a foreigner, I’ve known him all my life! He’s in the Canadian Army that’s all. I thought he was dead, I did …’

  Tom began walking up and down, agitatedly. ‘So Virginia was right. She told me about him, this … Johnny is it? She said it would be him, she said you’d been carrying on with him years ago, behind my back, before we were even married.’

  ‘I wasn’t! I didn’t!’ Ada was distraught, she couldn’t believe that Tom had discussed this with Virginia before he even told her. And Virginia, how could she tell such lies to him?

  ‘Oh, don’t start again, with your dirty lies! It’s my own fault, I know, I should never have married you. I picked you up out of the gutter and look how you repay me. Your type has no idea of decent behaviour, you’re like animals! You’re a whore, you’ve always been a whore, no better than a common prostitute, ever since you were a child!’

  Tom’s voice rose as he came to a halt before her. She had put the sofa between them earlier, afraid of what he might do, but now she simply stood there, his words beating into her brain.

  ‘Tom!’ she whispered. She felt like a wounded animal, wanting only to crawl away into a corner. Something in her expression must have got through to him for he turned on his heel and walked away from her, obviously struggling to control himself. A struggle he gave up a moment later; swinging again to face her he continued his tirade.

  ‘Well, it’s true! You told me yourself. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hadn’t led that uncle of yours on with those so-innocent great eyes of yours. Ah, you’re all alike, your kind, give out to all and sundry if you see something in it for yourselves, but me, no, with me you were the simpering miss, and God help me, I was fooled.’ Tom stared bitterly at her, loathing for her in every inch of him. For a few minutes there was a silence except for the sound of his breathing, heavy and harsh. Then he took a step towards her once again.

  ‘It was different with me, wasn’t it? I was fool enough to believe you when you told me you were frightened – a good little actress you are, I give you that. And I felt guilty when I took what was mine by right! Why, I’ve a good mind –’