Fear rendered her immobile. She commanded herself to run, but her limbs were glued to her sheets. She had to do something fast! Something to stop him from getting to her. Forcing herself to sit up, she screamed until her throat burned. The attacker was momentarily stationary, and then he sprinted away from the window. She peered into the black velvet of the night, trying to make out where he’d gone.
Focused on the window, she almost didn’t hear it when someone began to jiggle the doorknob to her bedroom door. Was it possible that he’d made his way into her house? In a state of terror, she let out another scream as her bedroom door turned into splinters.
CHAPTER NINE
Chase’s heart pounded as he stormed into the room. He kept his center of gravity low and his gun trained in front of him. The unfamiliar throbbing in his chest was a nuisance. His experience had taken him long past the adrenaline rushes he’d encountered as a rookie. Or, at least, he’d thought it had. Keeping his breathing modulated, he methodically searched the room for any immediate threats. Seeing none, he moved next to Jordan.
“What happened?” There was no emotion in his voice, and he knew the question sounded more like a command. He positioned his back to the wall behind her while he continued to scan the room.
She pointed toward the window, and before she could utter a sentence, he was travelling along the perimeter of the room. He ended up standing slightly to the left, beside the curtains. Making sure there was no light behind him, he advanced to the window but saw nothing from his restricted view.
“I saw someone out there, trying to get in. He had something in his hand.”
He took a few seconds to consider his options. Instinctively, he wanted to go after the bastard, but if he did that, he’d be leaving Jordan alone. If there was more than one perpetrator, that would leave her vulnerable. He decided it wasn’t worth the risk and instead headed for the telephone on Jordan’s nightstand. With his attention back in her direction, he noticed she hadn’t moved at all since he’d come in the room. She was sitting completely motionless and still staring toward the window.
After setting his gun on the table, he called in the incident and then eased himself next to her onto the edge of the bed. “You all right?”
She nodded then turned her head toward him. “Can you please just tell me that this will be over soon?” Her question sounded more like a plea for help. Her voice was filled with anguish, and though he could barely make out her features in the darkness of the room, he could see her lips were quivering.
“You have no idea how much I wish I could.” His own voice was hoarse with emotion.
Against his better judgment, he took her in his arms and held her so her head rested against his chest. Her heart beat wildly next to his chest through the thin fabric of her nightshirt. He promised himself the gesture was only because she had no one else there for support, but even as he rationalized his behavior, he knew it wasn’t true. He wanted to be there for her, and although it shouldn’t have, holding her at that moment felt completely right.
He could feel her muscles loosen as she relaxed into him, finally loosening her grip on the sheets beside her. Her heart rate began to settle into a more regular pattern. But as the fear seemed to drain from her body, the intimacy of their contact became strikingly evident. The scent from her shampoo surrounded him, while the heat from her skin melded with his own. He’d known, no matter how he tried to rationalize it away, that he was drawn to her before, but with her skin alongside his now, the attraction between them was undeniable.
Her warm exhalations against his bare chest reminded him he hadn’t even had time to grab a shirt. All he’d thought about was getting to her, and now she was right here in his arms. He sucked in a ragged breath as her fingers traced their way around his waist and splayed across his back. If he didn’t do something fast, he knew he’d give in to the urge to explore every square inch of her in return.
“The PD is on the way. Hopefully, they’ll be able to find some trace of the guy. They usually leave behind something,” he said thickly.
He waited for her to respond by moving away, but she didn’t. He looked down and his gaze met hers. Their lips were only inches apart, and without thinking, he gave up the fight within him and bent down to kiss her. He brushed his lips lightly across hers several times at first, reveling in the feel of the caress. But it wasn’t nearly enough. He cradled her head in his hands and kissed her again, this time leaving his lips pressed to hers. Using the tip of his tongue to gently coax her lips apart, he delved further into the warm softness–– getting lost in the way she tasted, the tender strokes of her tongue against his. His hands slid down her back and slipped underneath her nightshirt. In the recesses of his mind somewhere, he knew he had to stop, that it shouldn’t—couldn’t—be this way. But his exploration of her satin skin continued, as if he was acting on reflex. He gently cupped her breast in his hand and kneaded the small, hard nipple.
Jordan let out a low moan in response to his touch and arched toward him. Her reaction triggered something inside him, and the realization of what he was doing slammed into his conscience. He was crossing a line that could lead to deadly consequences.
He dragged himself back from her, with every centimeter feeling like he was trying to escape a raging rip current. Nothing about pulling away from her felt natural, but he had no choice. “Jordan, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t say anything. He leaned forward and snapped on the lamp. A soft glow illuminated the room, and he could see confusion reflected in her eyes. He loathed what he’d done to put it there.
“I hadn’t intended for this.” He motioned between them.
She briefly closed her eyes, but she still didn’t respond.
He let out a slow breath. “I can promise you that it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” He grabbed his gun and left the room before she could reply. He didn’t want to hear it.
Minutes later, the police were at the house. Jordan emerged from the bedroom and gave them an account of what she’d seen. She barely looked his way. Her reaction wasn’t unexpected, but the torn feeling in his gut was foreign to him. He told himself that it was better this way. She would be safe.
“I’m going to head around back where the window is,” one of the officers informed Jordan.
“I know which one it is. I’ll go out there with you.” Chase accompanied the officer to the area outside the window.
The officer shone his flashlight along the edges of the window and the ground in front of it. The grass was dry, and there was no sign of any footprints or anything else that could provide any clues as to the identity of the shadow at the window.
“Nothing to see here,” the officer commented.
Chase nodded. “Yeah, figured as much. Worth a try though.”
They walked back to the front in silence. Every muscle in his body was strung with tension. He wasn’t sure if he was more irritated because he wasn’t able to chase down the jerk who’d had the nerve to show up at her window or at himself for being the jerk who’d let go with her when he shouldn’t have. Either way, he felt like crap.
The officer shook his head at the other one, indicating the search hadn’t turned up anything.
The second officer turned toward them. “Well, thanks for calling. We’ll be sure to let Detective Larson know. Glad you guys are okay.”
“Thanks for coming out,” Jordan said, her voice tired. Without a backward glance, she went straight back to her room when they entered the house.
Chase focused on the rush-hour traffic as he drove Jordan to the office the following morning. The tension in the car was so thick that, if it were fog, he wouldn’t be able to see one foot in front of him.
Jordan shuffled through paperwork on her lap. She was making an attempt to appear lost in her work, and she probably would’ve pulled it off with most people, but not with him. He could see that, despite her concerted effort, she was accomplishing nothing other than to re-sort the pages once again. She’d b
een this way since they’d met in the kitchen that morning. After the requisite “good mornings” and brief small talk, she’d grown silent, focusing on menial tasks around the house until it was time to go. Not that he blamed her after last night. It was his fault for putting her in this position in the first place. He knew better. And though he couldn’t take back what had happened, he would sure as hell make certain there was no repeat.
Wondering how long her silence would last, he glanced over at her. “What time do you have to be in court today?” He already knew she had to be there later that morning, but he was hoping to get her talking to him again.
“Ten o’clock,” she replied without making eye contact. She leaned forward to put the papers back into her briefcase.
He inwardly grimaced at the indifference in her tone. There had to be a way a forward from here, but he damn sure had no idea what it was.
§
Jordan looked out the window as they approached the office. She needed to maintain some semblance of a working relationship with Chase, but she was still frustrated and confused after last night’s events. She was unable to stop her stomach from fluttering as she remembered him holding her, his bare chest pressed against her. Though calming at first, his nearness had brought forth feelings that were anything but calm.
She knew he’d been attracted to her in that moment as well. But what she didn’t understand was his abrupt end to it all. When he’d stood to go, he’d seemed repulsed by the whole incident. And then today…Chase might be able to continue on as if nothing had happened, but she wasn’t ready or able to do that yet. She needed some time to process her own feelings before she could tend to their relationship, professional or otherwise.
“Here we are.” His words were subdued.
She couldn’t tell if he expected a response or not. Either way, she wasn’t giving him one. He put the SUV in park, and safety issue or not, she had to restrain herself from jumping out of the car. Instead, she grabbed the handle on her briefcase and smoothed her skirt down while waiting for him to check the area and then open her door.
They walked into the office in silence. As soon as she had the day’s files in hand, she broke away from him and fled to her office. She sat down and grabbed the case she’d be testifying on later that morning. Reviewing her notes would be a welcome distraction from her thoughts.
As she attempted to skim the first page, she could hear Chase talking in the background. His presence was usually comforting to her, but at the moment, her attention was reduced to that of a student during the final class hour before college let out for spring break. Every time he spoke, it served to remind her of the details she was trying to block out. She leaped up from her chair and shut the office door.
Back at her desk, the quiet reprieve lasted a mere five minutes before the door to her office flew open and Mike popped his head in. “Hey. What’s with you? You’re all holed up in here like a recluse. You okay?”
“Yes, I’m good.” She gave him a wan smile. “Just prepping for court.”
“Chase called me last night and told me what happened.” He walked in farther and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
Jordan stiffened with his revelation. She stared back at him, her mouth too dry to speak.
“I can tell you’re not good. I don’t know who would be in your shoes. Waking up to find someone trying to break into your bedroom had to be scary.”
Jordan let out the breath she’d been holding and swiveled her chair around to face him. Inexplicably, talking about the man at her window seemed less threatening than revealing what had happened—or almost happened—with Chase. “It was. Seeing him at my house, it brought back those same feelings I had the night of the attack. The only difference is, this time, I felt immobilized. Before, I’d been able to fight back right away.”
“Does that worry you?” He took a seat on the couch across from her.
“In a way. It makes me wonder if I’d be able to do it again. I should have run from the room, but all I could bring myself to do was scream.”
“Jordan. What you did worked. You got Chase’s attention. Don’t second-guess yourself too much. There’s no right or wrong here. Well, other than for the creep who showed up at your bedroom window. I hope to God they catch him soon.”
“Me too,” she said quietly.
“You want me to leave you alone now so you can get back to work? I don’t have a client for an hour, so if you need to talk some more, I can stay. Karen would be here too if she hadn’t had an eval to do at the jail first thing.”
“No. I may not actually be good.” She tried to make a better attempt at a full smile this time. “But I’m dealing with everything okay. And I know you both are here for me. I’m grateful for that.” She hated to lie to him, but she wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about Chase, let alone a good friend of his. “With everything that’s been going on, I’ve gotten a little behind. Hence my retreat into the cave.” A half truth, not exactly a lie.
Mike smiled. “Nice analogy.” He gave her a curious stare before standing to leave.
Her excuse hadn’t completely flown with him, but she was relieved when he didn’t question her any further.
§
Chase saw Mike leaving Jordan’s office shaking his head. His chest tightened. Had she told him everything about last night?
“Hey, brother,” Mike said, walking in Chase’s direction.
Chase didn’t sense any anger from him, so he’d bet she hadn’t shared the full reason she’d holed herself up in her office.
Mike motioned him into an empty office to talk in private. “What’s up with Jordan today? I asked her, but she seemed evasive. Nothing else has happened, has it? I mean, since the guy at the window.”
Chase had given him the rundown on the events of the night before over the phone. Well, the part he’d wanted him to know about. He was pretty sure his good friend would have his head if he heard everything. “No, not since then. Though it was pretty scary for her. Me too, for that matter. When I heard her screaming, I thought…oh, I don’t know, man. I was just worried I wasn’t going to get to her in time.” Chase rubbed the back of his neck as he made the last statement.
Recognition registered on Mike’s face. “Dude, you have to give yourself a break sometime, you know. It wasn’t your fault.”
Chase immediately knew where he was going with the discussion. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s in the past,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned his shoulder against the wall.
“Yeah, well, maybe you should. You haven’t been the same since it happened. I haven’t said anything before…I knew you needed space. But I’m saying this now, and it’s probably long overdue. You couldn’t have done anything differently that would have changed the outcome.”
Chase clenched the fists that were anchored under his biceps. “You mean I couldn’t have prevented him from dying? Isn’t that supposed to be my job?” His voice rose with each word, though he was careful not to disrupt the office staff.
Mike didn’t back down. “There’s no disputing you’re good at what you do. But if a client tells you to leave, you don’t have much choice.”
“You don’t get it. It was my fault.” He winced at the memory. “We’d become friends. I let that wall drop, and even though we disagreed half the time, there was something about us that worked. I got him, and I got why he did the crazy, screwed-up things he did.”
“Then do you honestly think, if you had no personal relationship with him at all, you’d have been able to talk him out of it?” He shook his head.
Chase dragged a hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know, but I guess that’s the problem…that I don’t know. So I can continue to critique everything that happened that night and how many ways I could have changed the ending.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. You can’t live life asking the what-if questions all the time or you’ll find that, somehow, you missed out on t
he ‘what truly is’ parts.”
“Buddy, you’d better watch it. You’re starting to sound like a shrink or something,” Chase said with a faint trace of a smile.
“Well, as long as you’re acknowledging that I sound like a good one, then I won’t complain,” Mike said, grinning.
“Okay, you win,” Chase said. “There may be a grain of truth in there somewhere.”
“Well then, the next question would be, what are you going to do with it?” Mike looked him directly in the eye.
Chase met his gaze. “It doesn’t change what happened.”
“But it should change what will. You need to lower the wall a little. You don’t have to take it down, but you have to let people you care about in again,” Mike said. “I’d tell you I’ve missed you these last five years, but it may go to your head.” He tapped his fist to Chase’s shoulder.
Chase didn’t have to read between the lines. He ought to make more of an effort. Now, Jordan was still his client. She was a whole other ball game. Or was she? He dismissed the thought as soon as he was aware of it.
Mike seemed to be reading his mind. “You don’t have to sleep with her. Actually, better stated, you’d better not sleep with her. She’s not into casual flings, and you aren’t the settling type.” He shot him a stern look. “But it wouldn’t hurt to be a little nicer. Damn, you’re running hot and cold so much when she’s around that even I never know which Chase to expect. She’s not the governor.”
“Yeah, I kind of noticed,” Chase said with a wink.
“Yeah, well, it stops at noticing in that regard,” Mike replied lightly.
“Message received.” He knew his friend was only half-joking. “Let’s get to work.” Chase opened the door and ran right into Jordan as he and Mike were leaving the office.
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