by S. J. West
“I think he only told me so we wouldn’t have any secrets between us. I get the feeling honesty is really important to him.”
My mom smiles. “I think it’s important to all the Watchers. That’s why the ones like your father were always able to tell when someone was lying to them. It’s a trait I’m glad you inherited from your dad. It might come in handy one day.”
“I was mad at Aiden for being with those other women after we first saw each other. Do you think that was childish of me? I mean, we didn’t even speak to one another that night.”
“No, I wouldn’t say childish. I think you had an ideal built up in your mind about your relationship with Aiden, and he basically shattered it with his confession. I’ve known about that side of Aiden’s character for a long time now. It was one of the reasons we wanted you to wait until you were eighteen before the two of you saw each other again. At fifteen, I don’t think you would have had the maturity to deal with someone like Aiden. Honestly, I was afraid you would lose yourself in trying to please him, to become what he wanted. It was important to your father and me that you build your own identity. We wanted you to know who you were and what you wanted out of life before Aiden entered it permanently and had a chance to influence the person you became. I didn’t want you to lose your self-worth in a relationship that would most likely consume you. Now, you’re older and you know who you are, what you will and won’t put up with. But, you’re still young, sweetie. You’re still growing both physically and emotionally. At your age, it’s normal to feel self-conscious about yourself. That’s why you had doubts about how Aiden felt about you today. It’s why you thought maybe it was you he didn’t want, and that he was using his past as an excuse not to kiss you. It’s all a part of growing up, Caylin.”
“Mom, when I asked Jess’ bracelet to show me how Aiden felt about me,” I have to pause because the memory of those emotions are still so strong, “I’ve never felt that kind of love before.”
My mom smiles. “I’m glad he let you see for yourself how he feels about you. I hope that helped wipe away some of your doubts. Not many people would open themselves to someone else like that willingly.”
“I have no doubts that he loves me,” I tell her, realizing as I say the words that they’re true. “And in a way I’m glad he’s taking our physical relationship slow. He seems to place more value on getting to know me as a person than making love.”
“And that’s the way it should be. Your relationship won’t last if you build it on sex alone. Friendship is so much more important between two people who plan to be together for the rest of their lives. In time, making love won’t hold the same thrill it did in the beginning. If you’re not friends, there’s no connection there to hold you together for the long haul. It sounds like Aiden understands that.”
“I need to confess something to you,” I say, “I wore that yellow bikini you have in your drawer today.”
My mother laughs. “Let me guess, you thought it might be enough to tempt Aiden into kissing you?”
“Yes,” I say chagrined.
“It’s ok, sweetie. I can understand pulling out all the stops to get a boy to kiss you. I’ve used a few tactics in my day, too, with your father. But, I wouldn’t change our first kiss for anything in the world. Don’t rush it. When the time is right, you’ll both know it, and it’ll be a memory neither of you will ever forget.” My mom puts an arm around my shoulders. “Now, come on. We need to get to the church before Faison has a fit.”
I giggle knowing my mom is right. Faison’s so nervous about getting everything right for her wedding she’ll probably kill us all if we get there a minute late.
My mom phases the whole family to the church where Faison is having her wedding because she’s the only one of us who has ever been there.
It’s a small church, and I was told only a few people would be attending the actual wedding ceremony. But, all of the Watchers were expected to come to the reception afterwards. It will be only the second time I have ever seen them all together. My Aunt Tara told me the first time she saw them all in one place they were practically half-naked wearing black leather pants and ceremonial black feather cloaks. I have to admit I wouldn’t mind seeing something like that myself.
When we walk into the church, I hear Faison sounding out some orders about where decorations are supposed to go inside the church.
“I just don’t know how we’re going to get everything done,” she says, biting the nail on her right index finger as she stands near the front of the church surveying everything.
Zack comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.
“Don’t worry so much,” he tells her. “Everything will be perfect for our wedding.”
Faison smiles and leans back into her fiancé.
“I know,” she says. “I’m just a natural worry wart about things like this.”
“Stop worrying,” he tells her and kisses the side of her neck.
Faison giggles, and I know she’ll be ok for the rest of the night.
“Hey, beautiful.”
I turn around when I hear Aiden’s voice and can’t help but smile.
“Hi,” I say, “fancy meeting you here.”
I’m faintly aware of my parents with Mae in tow, walking to the front of the church while I remain with Aiden. Will, however, stays where he is. Obviously, he didn’t get the family memo to skedaddle.
I look over at Will. “Would you mind leaving?”
“Aww, come on,” Will says, “I was hoping to get some tips from Aiden.”
“Tips?” I ask, not having a clue what he’s talking about.
“Yeah, you know, how to make a woman fall in love with you in fifteen words or less kind of tips. He’s gotta know some as old as he is.”
I hear Aiden chuckle, and I feel mortified by what my little brother just said.
“Just show the girl you like that you respect her,” Aiden advises Will. “If she likes you back, that’s all she’ll want.”
“That’s it?” Will asks. “There’s no secret password or move that you make to get a girl to like you?”
“No,” Aiden says with a shake of his head, “just be yourself.”
Will shrugs. “I can do that.”
“Good,” I say, “now go somewhere else.”
“Why? You and Aiden planning to…” Will puckers his lips and starts to make rather loud kissing noises.
“I swear to the good Lord above, Will Allen Cole, if you don’t run as fast as you can away from me I’m gonna kill you.”
“Geesh, and I thought love was supposed to make you happy… not cranky.”
“You know I can hurt you,” I threaten.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Watcher strength and all. I’m going. You don’t have to ask me twice.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
Will walks off in a huff, and I turn my attention back to Aiden who is smiling so wide I can tell he’s trying not to laugh.
“Sorry,” I say. “Little brothers can be a hassle sometimes.”
“It’s not a problem. You’re lucky to have him.”
“Lucky?” I ask. “I’m not sure I would have put it that way.”
“You’re close. It’s nice to have people you can count on for the rest of your life like that.”
“Well, we’re pretty much stuck with one another,” I say. “And yes, he gets on my nerves sometimes, but I do love the little bugger.”
Aiden smiles. “I think I’ll enjoy becoming a part of your family one day. You’re all so close to one another. I’ve never really had that.”
It’s nice to hear Aiden talk about our future. And the parts of it I saw in the vessels inner realm flash through my mind reassuring me that the future was indeed a bright and happy place for us.
“Thank God the two of you are here,” I hear Jess say behind me.
She, Leah, and Joshua walk up the aisle towards us.
“My sister is about to have a coronary,” Jess says, coming to a st
op in front of us. “The sooner we get this show on the road the sooner we can all go over to Mama Lynn’s and eat. Aiden, would you go to headquarters and grab my husband. He’s standing in for Chandler since our in house rock star has a concert tonight and can’t be here.”
Aiden phases but is back in less than a minute with Mason right beside him.
“Faison have a coronary yet?” Mason asks Jess, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.
“Not yet,” Jess says, smiling at her husband. “But she will if we don’t get started soon.”
Jess gets us all lined up. Joshua and Leah are first up, then me and Aiden, then Jess and Mason with little Mae and Max right behind them preceding Faison and Mr. George, Mama Lynn’s husband.
A lady by the name of Ms. Margaret, Mama Lynn’s across the street neighbor, begins to play the processional music, and we all walk down the aisle at a staggered, leisurely pace. Halfway down the aisle, I look up at Aiden and see him smiling down at me.
“What?” I ask. “Why are you smiling like that?”
“I’m just imagining you in a wedding dress. Is that all right?”
“Yes,” I say, feeling myself blush.
After the rehearsal is over, we all go over to Mama Lynn’s house for the rehearsal dinner. I love eating at Mama Lynn’s. It’s almost as good as eating Aunt Tara’s cooking.
There really isn’t enough space at the table for everyone to eat so Aiden, Leah, Joshua, and I go eat in the living room using the coffee table as our table.
“Man, I sure am glad you’re gonna be at that dance tomorrow night,” Joshua tells Aiden as they sit down on the couch while Leah and I sit on the floor together on the other side of the table. “I didn’t really want to be around all those teenagers by myself.”
“You make it sound like you’re ancient or something,” Leah says to Joshua. Her eyes dart in Aiden’s direction. “Sorry, didn’t mean any offense by saying that.”
Aiden smiles. “No offense taken. I am ancient.”
“How old are you, human wise,” I ask. “Like 22?”
“Something like that,” Aiden agrees.
“So you gonna do the human thing too?” Joshua asks. “Mason’s just waiting for Jess to catch up with him. You know he’s planning to retire in like 4 years.”
“Yes, I’ve been told that,” Aiden says. “Malcolm is supposed to take over the Watchers, so I should be making the transition just in time.”
I realize Aiden’s plans are just like Mason’s. He’s going to wait until I’m 22 to ask to become human. I can’t help but smile. When I look up at him, he catches me smiling and winks. He seems happy that I’m pleased with his decision to wait until we’re the same age. I really couldn’t have asked for more.
“Why did you say ‘just in time’?” Leah asks. “Don’t you think Malcolm will make a good leader?”
“I think he’ll make a great leader,” Aiden says. “But being with Caylin and under Malcolm’s control might lead to problems between him and me. If I’m going to become a part of Caylin’s family, I need to stay on his good side as much as possible.”
“Aww,” Leah says as if what Aiden said is the sweetest thing she’s ever heard.
It was nice and strange at the same time to hear Aiden talk about our future together. Apparently, in his mind anyway, we were in it for the long haul, and I found it both exciting and a little frightening. Exciting because I couldn’t imagine my life without Aiden in it, and frightening because I was still so young yet it appeared that my future was already set.
Joshua provided most of the talk during the meal. He prattled on about some computer program he wrote. Aiden seemed to understand it, and Leah just looked at Joshua like anything he said was interesting. He could have been reciting the phonebook, and she would have probably looked just as interested in what he had to say.
I sat silently, contemplating my life and where it was going. Aiden must have noticed because right after we put our plates up he gently takes my arm.
“Would you like to go for a walk outside?” He asks me.
I nod because I do need some fresh air.
We grab our coats and walk down the sidewalk of the small neighborhood in Cypress Hollow. After we walk by Jess and Mason’s home, Aiden casually takes hold of my hand.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I tell him.
Aiden stops walking, which makes me stop as well.
“There’s one thing that we have to have in this relationship, Caylin,” he tells me. “Complete honesty. I don’t think I could have been more honest with you today. I would like the same courtesy from you.”
Now I feel bad. He’s right. I’m not being honest, but I don’t really want to tell him what’s on my mind either.
“It’s just…” How do I say this without offending him? “It’s just that it seems like my life is set in stone now. I’m supposed to go to Yale. We’re going to get married and have babies. I’m not sure what’s left to decide. Everything has already been decided for me.”
“I see,” Aiden says, not sounding upset but understanding of my dilemma. “I suppose that’s the way it seems. But, you were only allowed to see a small portion of our lives together. I’m sure there will be things that pop up out of nowhere that we’ll have to deal with. Important decisions that we’ll still need to make. Or,” Aiden hesitates before finishing his thought, “is it that you didn’t really get a say about who your soul mate would be that bothers you?”
“No,” I say immediately, tightening my hold on his hand. “No, Aiden. Don’t ever think that. I couldn’t have chosen anyone better for myself.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Aiden says, and I know from the way he looks away that he still has doubts that he’s good enough for me.
“God chose you for me,” I tell him, trying to make him realize just how special a connection we have. “He chose you over everyone else to be my friend, my lover, my partner during our lives. So, stop thinking you’re not good enough for me because He thinks you are. I’m not sure you could get a better recommendation than that.”
Aiden smiles shyly and I know my words have reached that insecure spot inside his heart where he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of me.
“You’re right,” he finally says. “He did choose me for you.”
“And me for you. We’re equally special to Him, Aiden. You’ve put me up on a pedestal, but what you don’t seem to understand is that you’re right up there with me in His eyes. So, I don’t want to hear you say you’re not good enough for me anymore. God thinks you are. Trust Him.”
Aiden brings me into his arms and hugs me tightly.
“I’ve never felt this good in my life,” he declares. “I feel like I’ve always wanted to when I’m with you.”
“How do you feel right now?” I ask, snuggling my cheek against his chest and basking in his warmth.
“Happy,” he says simply, kissing the top of my head. “I finally feel happy.”
I sigh contentedly and whisper, “Me too.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
That evening when I’m slipping into my pajamas for bed I do something I rarely ever do. I pray. It’s not that I don’t talk to God, but it’s usually just a silent conversation inside my head. He’s never actually come to me and answered back, but I don’t need Him to. I know He’s always watching over my family and me.
But, tonight I feel as though I need to thank Him personally for bringing Aiden into my life. I doubt many people get to meet their soul mate at such a young age and know that there is someone in the world they are destined to be with for the rest of their life. It was a gift, and today I realized that fact.
After I sent out my prayer, I snuggled underneath my covers and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning I awaken instantly remembering it’s Valentine’s Day. I hop out of bed and go directly to my windowsill. I feel slightly disappointed when I don’t see a flower waiting there for me. I begin to won
der if Aiden forgot what day it is or if maybe he has other plans for our first official Valentine’s Day together.
I turn back towards my bed and notice something on the pillow beside my own that wasn’t there last night. I smile because I know Aiden phased into my room.
Sitting atop the pillow is a single coral colored rose.
I feel my forehead scrunch up because of all the colors I was actually expecting a red rose this year. What did coral signify?
I go to my bed and reach for the rose. It’s only then I see the note it’s sitting on top of. I pick up the white piece of paper and read Aiden’s words.
See you tonight, beautiful.
P.S. I like your little snore.
I giggle and immediately turn to my desk to start up my laptop. I Google the significance of a coral colored rose and smile when I see what it means: desire.
I inhale the bouquet of the rose’s scent before setting it down on my desk to get dressed for my last Valentine’s Day with my dad.
Every year my dad takes me somewhere significant to him in the world. He didn’t tell me where we were going this year, but he did tell me the night before to dress warm and casually.
Before I leave my room, I fill a small crystal vase with water and place Aiden’s rose in it. I sit it on my desk next to the crystal swan and carved house he gave me. When I go downstairs, my family is already there, and I smell the aroma of freshly made waffles.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” my mom says to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek as I walk up to her and grab the plate she has prepared for me.
Every Valentine’s Day, my mom and dad make heart shaped waffles topped with sliced strawberries and whipped cream for us. It’s a tradition I think I might have to start with my own family one day.
