by Kamryn Hart
His Beta was glaring at him. Nick’s hackles rose on reflex. “Do you have something you want to say?” Nick asked darkly, a growl buried deep inside of his chest.
“No,” Christopher replied calmly, averting his gaze. “I’m glad everything has been resolved. Humans sniffing around would be problematic.”
With that, Nick’s Beta stepped away, leaving Nick alone with his thoughts. Once Nick was sure Chris wouldn’t see, he looked back down the road where he last saw Gwen’s yellow Jeep.
He wished she’d come back, but he knew it was better if she didn’t. It would be better for him and her. If she kept her word, she wouldn’t come back.
Chapter 10
A WEEK PASSED SINCE Nick had last seen Gwen. He hoped the longing he felt would fade, but the more days passed, the worse he felt. The mark on his left hand seemed to produce a dull, throbbing pain inside of him, or maybe he was mistaken. The Full Moon was drawing nearer. It could have had something to do with it. He didn’t know. But he knew something else: if he thought he wasn’t functioning well as Alpha before, he was certain he wasn’t now. He was carrying out the bare minimum of his duties. He checked on the wolves in Eastbrook only once during the week, even though he probably should have been checking them daily. Yeah, he left Howard in charge, but Nick was the Alpha. He almost felt bad for keeping Howard away from Julie, but they stayed away from each other well enough on their own without Nick’s help. Nothing would fix the fissure Casey left behind. That’s what it seemed like because that fissure kept growing.
To be the true Alpha of the wolves living in Eastbrook, he should order them to move to Moonwatch. He didn’t want to force them to leave their homes though. What he was doing was unconventional, so he sought to rectify it by building new homes in Moonwatch at some point after those wolves pledged to him. That way they could live closer to their Alpha if they wanted. As the time came closer for them to pledge, he was starting to wonder if he wanted the added responsibility. Maybe he should let them loose.
Nick covered his eyes with his hand as he lay on a couch in the sitting room. He would have had the TV on if he had any sort of energy. There was definitely something wrong with him if mindlessly watching TV was too much effort.
He groaned as an image of Gwen popped into his head. Why did he tell her he never wanted to see her again? For the good of his pack? Maybe it would have been good for his pack if he could actually forget about her.
“Get your shit together, Nick,” he muttered to himself. “You gotta make Dad proud. You gotta do right by the pack.”
But what was he holding on to?
What if he did run the pack how he wanted to run it instead of trying to live up to his father’s legacy? He could see Gwen if he wanted to. He was the damn Alpha after all. He had the power to change things.
His ears caught the distinct sound of a door opening and closing. It was undoubtedly coming from the front of the mansion. He sat up and sniffed the air, catching his sister’s familiar scent. He hunkered back down into the couch and turned to face the cushions lining the back of it. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, hoping that would discourage his rambunctious sister from whatever it was she had in mind.
“Nicky!” Willow shouted.
He didn’t move, and he didn’t answer. He willed himself to stay perfectly still as Willow’s footsteps grew louder and her scent stronger. Of course, she knew exactly where he was. She had a sharp nose. The size of the mansion couldn’t save him from that. It didn’t help that he was close to the grand foyer either.
“God, you have all the curtains covering the windows even,” Willow announced as she entered the room.
Nick continued to feign sleep as Willow started charging around the room, uncovering all the windows. The darkness that previously surrounded Nick was lifted by the bright light of the sun. He could see the light through his eyelids. It agitated him a lot more than it should have and he growled.
“Get up,” Willow said. “It’s a beautiful evening, and we’re going for a run in Blue Forest. We haven’t done that since we were like kids. Forever basically.”
“I don’t feel like it,” Nick muttered, keeping his eyes closed.
“You don’t have a choice.”
There was no use talking back to her, so he resorted to ignoring her. The familiar crackling of bones meant his sister was shifting. That wasn’t a good sign. He jolted when he felt the sting of her teeth on his leg. He lurched off the couch and growled at her. She growled back. Though he was in his human body and Willow was in her wolf body, he was still the Alpha here. He was in such a bad mood he let that dominance show. Growling and forcing his sister to back off with the rippling waves of his power.
Willow whimpered, quietly bringing him back to his senses. Why was he taking his anger and frustrations out on his little sister? It didn’t do him any good, and Willow didn’t deserve it. That was it. He was done moping around and being a huge dick. He was going to fix things. Starting now.
“Did you leave the door open?” he asked, quieting his aggression.
His sister gave a subtle bow of her head and a long blink of her amber eyes.
“A run, huh? Let’s do it.”
Willow wagged her tail and barked at him.
“You know it’s probably not the smartest thing to go shifting into your wolf from inside the house.”
Willow snorted and shook her body like she didn’t care what he had to say. The action caught the light coming in through the windows, making her light gray fur seem almost blond, similar to her natural hair color when she was in her human body.
“Just because we’re pretty isolated doesn’t mean humans can’t come visit, Will,” Nick continued. He was making this take longer than it needed to so he could get back at her somehow. He knew how impatient she was. That’s how he knew this sort of thing was an effective tactic to use on her.
Bowing down on her forelegs and sticking her butt in the air, Willow barked and wagged her tail.
Nick grinned. She was right. It had been too long since she and Nick had done anything together. The years following Casey leaving were the worst.
“Yeah, okay. No more stalling,” he said.
Ripping off his clothes in record time, Nick shifted to join his sister. A few seconds later and he was chasing his sister through the mansion and out the front door. He halted his chase to make sure the door was shut, and then he was running after her again. She had the lead, but he was much bigger than she was. She was by no means slow, but if he pushed himself, he could catch up to her. He honed in on her and pushed his legs harder, reaching her as they hit the edge of Blue Forest.
They ran side by side in contented silence for a time. Eventually, the sun began to set, leaving the forest darker than it already was with the blue spruces hiding direct sun rays. Willow picked up the pace again, egging her brother on. She wanted him to catch her.
He was pretty sure they hadn’t played chase since they were pups. They were always close, but their interests changed as they grew older. They did everything together with Casey, too. When he left, he left a hole in Nick and Willow’s relationship. It wasn’t until their parents died that he and Willow finally started to connect again. It was a shitty way to learn they needed each other, but that was just the way it was.
Nick ran after his little sister, but he let her have the lead for a moment. He would let her believe she had the advantage for now. Then he would strike.
They covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time. Nick was about to make his move when he realized what Willow was doing. This part of the forest triggered his memory of Gwen. These blue spruces were near her cabin. His conniving sister was leading him right to the park ranger. He was about to stop cold in his tracks, but he realized everything too late. He and Willow had already emerged from the trees enough to see Gwen’s small cabin. The mere sight of it made his heart beat a little faster.
Despite the electricity in his body, stemming from his left paw, he mana
ged to stop. He wanted to rush up to the cabin, but he was having doubts. He wanted to talk to Gwen. He wasn’t so sure she wanted to talk to him, though. Was this a good idea? He was Alpha. He made the rules. But his pack…
Willow nuzzled his neck. The action was reassuring, but he still had his doubts. Willow chuffed as she walked behind him. She nudged his flank. Nick looked behind him in time to see his sister disappear back inside of the forest. She didn’t bring him out here for a run at all. It was a ruse to get him to see Gwen. Now that he was here, he felt like he needed to. He couldn’t walk away from this. He wanted to come here all week. If Willow hadn’t dragged him out here, he probably never would have made it with all of his back and forth indecisiveness. This was his chance to learn more about Gwen. This was his chance to figure out exactly what kind of Alpha he was going to be. Right or wrong, he needed to know more about Gwen first. He needed to see her, smell her, maybe even touch her if she would let him.
Nick lay down on his stomach and placed his paws over his nose. God, he was acting like a cowering omega. He had never done submissive things like this in the past—except for when he was a pup getting scolded by his alpha mother or father. Gwen brought out the uncertain submissive side of him—a side he hadn’t realized he had. Back when he was going off on Julie for something stupid, because of all his irritation concerning Gwen, she told him to stop. He listened. He backed down immediately. How did she do that? She was a human and yet she felt like a higher level alpha than himself in some ways. Or maybe this was the kind of bond Fated Mates had. Were they truly Fated Mates? Was that why he felt the way he did?
He pawed at his snout and then stood back up, regaining his dignity as the alpha wolf he was. Fated Mate or not, he was here now. There was no point denying it any longer. He wanted to see Gwen. Soon enough, he would find out if she wanted to see him too.
He moved forward and spotted Gwen sitting on the porch reading something, probably enjoying a quiet evening to herself. She was dressed in her full ranger uniform, complete with that iconic ranger hat. Nick preferred the clothes she wore when she came to Moonwatch, but only because they showed off more of her body. However, the ranger uniform somehow suited her.
Slowly, he placed one paw in front of the other, making his way to Gwen. This time he wouldn’t stop until he reached her. Sunlight was quickly fading, and if she wanted to continue reading whatever she was reading, she would have to take it inside. He could hear the hum of a generator, but it was a lonely sound this far out in the quiet forest. He wondered if Gwen ever got lonely out here by herself or if being surrounded by nature constantly was really enough.
She hadn’t caught sight of him yet. As he got closer, he wondered how he should present himself. He wanted to talk, but he’d probably make things worse if he did, especially since he didn’t bring clothes. Gwen probably already thought he was an enormous dick, and as much as she obviously liked his naked body, it didn’t seem like the right way to start this off. His wolf would have to do. She was very affectionate toward his wolf. She wasn’t afraid to run up to him and hug him like he was a fucking pet dog. Whatever. Her hugs and hands running through his fur felt good. He wasn’t going to complain.
Keeping a slow and steady pace, he made it to the porch steps and stopped. That was when Gwen looked up from her wildlife magazine and spotted him. He wagged his tail, doing his best to show her no hostility in case she didn’t recognize his wolf right off.
“Nick,” Gwen said quietly.
He didn’t have to worry about her recognizing him after all. It took her an entire second to figure out it was him. He chuffed a reply.
Gwen placed her magazine down on the porch bench and walked down the steps to meet him. She held out her right hand to him and Nick’s left paw tingled in response.
“Mind if I pat you?” Gwen asked, suddenly shy.
Now she was asking? He did a fucking great job of pushing her away last time he saw her. He hated himself for it. He wished he could take it all back.
He moved forward and lifted his head to her hand. She got the message and patted him affectionately. She roughed up his ears too. It felt so good. If any other human, or wolf in their human form, had done this to him, he would have been pissed to hell—but Gwen was different. It was the command in her words, endless compassion, and power. It was the softness of her touch. It all made him crazy about her. He wanted to be her protector. He felt that way about his pack too, but it was different with Gwen. He was pleading and possessive at the same time. He wanted to be in control and subordinate. He wanted her to want him.
Gwen moved her hands down to his neck and urged him closer. He complied, and she hugged him, burying her face into his fur. She felt so warm next to him. He closed his eyes, relishing this feeling he didn’t know how to properly describe. Her sweet forest scent was so strong when he was in this body. Intoxicating. Everything about her drew him to her.
He was disappointed when she moved away and climbed back up the porch steps. When she sat down on the porch bench, she patted the area at her side, inviting him to join her. The bench wasn’t that big. He wasn’t sure he could sit up there without lying down on her lap. Would she be okay with that?
He padded up to her and then jumped onto the bench. He positioned his front paws and upper body on her lap and left the rest of his body to fill up the empty part of the bench while his tail hung off the end. Gwen didn’t complain. He noticed her heart rate speed up, but it slowed again as she rested a hand on his back. He lowered his head onto her lap and lay there quietly like a good dog. His body was filled with a constant warm buzz. The sensation had spread from his left paw and he felt it everywhere.
The urge to shift crept up on him. He tried to will it away, but it grew stronger until it was almost unbearable. He wanted to hold Gwen in his arms and ask for a redo, but there was no way he could just do that after being a complete ass. He was lucky she was letting him anywhere near her. If it was all because he was a wolf right now, he was okay with that. Being near her was all he could ask for right now.
“I thought I wasn’t going to see you again,” Gwen told him. “I’m glad I was wrong about that.”
Nick’s ears twitched, anxious to hear what else she had to say.
“Apparently, you’re going to let me talk today. Is that why you’re still a wolf?” She laughed. “Don’t answer that.”
Gwen rubbed her fingers against Nick’s ears, and his tail wagged involuntarily.
“I’m going to take this opportunity to talk then,” Gwen announced. “If you don’t want to hear it, you better run now.”
Nick chuffed. He had no intention of leaving, not since Gwen was being gracious enough to let him lie here on her lap and talk to him. Even if the words she had to say were about how much she hated him, he was ready to hear them.
“Maybe if you know more about me, you’ll tell me about you sometime,” Gwen said and then paused. “I’m happy to see you. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I am.”
Nick focused on the slightest changes in her voice, analyzing the feelings behind her words. She was being honest. He could sense it. She was always honest. That was how she lived her life. It relieved him to know she was happy to see him, but he also felt guilty. He knew he didn’t deserve it.
Gwen continued, “I thought about it and I think I know why you guys don’t like people. I mean, we can be pretty awful. I don’t like people much myself a lot of the time. That’s why I work out here. But even out here there are bad people like those damn poachers who almost killed you. We still haven’t found them, but we’re keeping a sharp eye out. So yeah. People are kind of shit. I get along with animals better even though nature can be pretty damn cruel too. You’re both human and a wolf, and a lot of people would probably freak out if they found out about that.” She grinned. “I don’t know why I’m taking all of this so well. Guess I’m the real freak, huh?”
Nick wished he could respond. She wasn’t a freak. She was perfection. Absolute perfection. He tri
ed to make his feelings known by moving his head to lick her hand. Her face flushed, and she laughed. She couldn’t act completely relaxed around him even as a wolf. She knew it was still him. He wondered if she understood what he was trying to say.
Clearing her throat, Gwen said, “Not all people are bad though. I could have grown up an orphan if my parents hadn’t adopted me. My parents are the best people I know. I think they raised me well.” The tone of voice she used when talking about her parents was filled with great pride. Nick could feel a reflection of that pride in his own parents.
“They taught me that a little kindness goes a long way. Really, you have them to thank for me saving you.” She laughed. Scratching his head, she added, “I’m not sure why you came to see me today, but I hope it means I’ll be seeing more of you. But for now… ”
Her legs moved underneath him. He knew he should get off her lap. He was reluctant to, but he listened to her body and hopped off the bench. He was probably putting her legs to sleep because he was so damn heavy. But she said she hoped it meant she saw more of him. She wanted to see him again.
Gwen got off the bench after him and scratched his head again. “It’s dark, and I should probably get to bed. I want to be up and going by the time the sun is up.” She bent down and rubbed her nose against his. God, he didn’t know how much more of this woman he could take. He needed to claim her so badly. He wanted to shift and take her right there on the porch.
“Thanks for visiting me and listening,” she said as she righted herself, pressing her hands to her lower back in a stretch.
