by L. P. Dover
Getting into stance, Gabriella lifted her gloves and snarled, “You got that right. How could you be so mean to her? Don’t get me wrong, I know she hurt you, but that’s no reason to treat her like shit. She came home for you, jackass. I even have the text to prove it.”
She swung again, but I dodged it. “Shit, Gabby, what do you expect me to do? Frolic back into her arms like a goddamn bitch? You’re out of your fucking mind.”
“She loves you, Ryley and I know you love her too. How long are you going to keep lying to yourself?”
After she swung again and missed, I grabbed her around the waist and took her down to the mat, pinning her beneath me. “I’m not lying to myself,” I hissed low, so only she could hear. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“You still love her.”
“And it fucking kills me. You may think I’m a coldhearted bastard, but it ripped me apart to see her break down in front of me. I wanted to comfort her and tell her I loved her too, but I can’t. You are the only one who knows how bad I fell for her. She left me, Gabriella. I can’t go running back to her without making her fight for it. I have to know she’s not going to leave again.” Sliding off of her, I grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet.
“So you only treated her like shit for show? You humiliated her, Ryley.”
“I didn’t want to, but I have to see how far she’s willing to go.”
Glancing around the room, Gabriella approached me and released a heavy sigh. “I understand what you’re doing, but whatever you do, don’t make her suffer for long. Trust me, she’s strong, but I’m worried about her. She’s not . . . well right now.”
“Is she okay?” I asked hesitantly.
Gabriella shrugged. “Not really, but she will be once she has you back. My only concern now is your brother. Do you have your phone with you?”
Now that I thought about it, I didn’t remember putting it in my gym bag. “No, I must’ve left it at home.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Why do you ask?” I inquired.
“Well, not only did Captain Asshat refuse to let Ashleigh in to see you this morning, but I think he texted her through your phone. It wasn’t a warm fuzzy one either.”
Anger boiled in my veins. Lying to me about her visiting was one thing, but using my phone to mess with her was another. “I didn’t know,” I replied. “He lied to me about who was at the door this morning, but I had no clue he would text her and pretend it was me. I’ll talk to him and tell him to back off.”
“Good idea,” she agreed. “Because if not, I’m going to handle it and it won’t be pretty. I don’t want him screwing around with my best friend.”
Neither do I.
Camden never showed up at the gym to train, which was unusual since he’d never missed a session in his life. There were cars in the driveway when I pulled up . . . a lot of them. When I got inside, I found him by the pool with the same blonde chick from this morning, straddling his waist while she massaged his shoulders. Not to mention, a shit ton of other people lounging around, who happened to be none other than Kyle Andrews’ groupies.
J.T. Michaelson caught my eye and I thundered straight over to him. He was one of Kyle’s best friends, and any friend of his was an enemy of mine. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” I growled. Everyone grew silent as I towered over him sitting in the lounge chair with one of Camden’s other girls fanning him. My body shook with rage. How could Camden cater to this douche bag?
Chuckling, J.T. stood and removed his sunglasses. “Your brother invited me,” he replied flippantly. “Lighten up, we’re just having a little bit of fun.”
Fists tightening at my sides, I was ready to take him out. “Yeah, I know what your kind of fun is and I don’t want anything to do with it. If you, and everyone else,” I shouted, glaring at the horde of people loitering around, “don’t get off my property, I’m going to personally escort you off. Now, get the fuck out!”
J.T. looked over at my brother, but my eyes never wavered from him. I was ready to kick his ass. In fact, I wanted to more than anything. “All right, you heard the man,” my brother announced. “We’ll continue this party at another time.”
J.T. glared at me and snarled his lip before grabbing his things and stalking off with everyone behind him. I followed them out to make sure they all left and didn’t touch anything in my house. Knowing Kyle’s friends, they’d steal whatever they could get their hands on. As soon as they were all gone, I stormed back out to the pool. Camden still laid there on his lounge chair like nothing had happened.
“Do you want a massage brother? It looks like you need one,” he teased, turning his head to face me.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” I snapped. “What the hell are you doing hanging out with Kyle’s friends? I don’t want them here, Cam. And if I see them again, nothing’s going to stop me from beating the shit out of them.”
Camden patted the blonde’s thigh and she slid off so he could sit up. “Damn, bro, calm down. We were just having a little bit of fun. Now that Kyle’s out of the picture, his friends were looking for a new leader. I guess I got the position. They love me.”
Exasperated, I ran my hands roughly through my hair. I couldn’t believe the shit I was hearing. “What the hell is wrong with you? First, you lie to me about who came by this morning. Then, you text Ashleigh using my phone. And now, you blow off practice to hang out with those cocksuckers. You’re headed down the wrong path, fast.”
Smile fading, Camden whipped off his sunglasses and stood, glaring straight at me. For years, it was like looking at a mirror when my brother was around. Now, I could barely tell who he was.
“You want to talk about heading down the wrong path? Okay, let’s do this. What about you? The last thing you need to do is get caught up with that bitch again. Did you forget that she left you for someone else? I’m trying to help you, brother.” His arms flew out to the sides. “You fucked her, she fucked you over . . . now move on.”
“Where’s my phone?” I asked, stressing each word.
Camden huffed and pointed toward the house. “It’s in your room. I’m warning you, don’t get involved with her.”
At first, I thought maybe he was trying to protect me, but looking into his calculating blue eyes, that wasn’t it at all. He had seriously turned into someone else. “And I’m warning you,” I snarled, standing nose to nose with him. He didn’t back down and I sure as hell wasn’t going to either. “Stay out of my life and leave Ashleigh alone. I don’t want to see or hear about you being anywhere near her. You got that?”
“So that’s it. You’re taking her back?” he asked, sounding disgusted.
“That’s none of your business.” Turning around, I stormed toward the house and yelled over my shoulder. “Just stay away from her!”
“You’re a fucking idiot! Don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again.”
Back then, I was an idiot because I let her go, knowing she still loved me. This time, I wasn’t going to let that happen. If she truly wanted me back, I wasn’t going to make it easy on her. Until then, I’m not letting her in.
AS MUCH AS I wanted to put off finding out the truth, I knew I couldn’t do it any longer. After leaving the gym, I stopped by the closest pharmacy and picked up a pregnancy test. I couldn’t tell Colin before I had a definite answer. Maybe once he found out I was pregnant, it would give him the closure and the ability to move on.
Gabriella: Don’t do the test without me! I want to be there.
Me: I won’t. I’m just staring at it right now.
Me: I have to pee, so hurry.
Gabriella: Be there in 10.
I knew she had to finish her training, but I’d been sitting in our kitchen staring at the test. Even though my nerves were shot and I’d probably throw up everything I ate, I fixed a peanut butter sandwich and drank a bottle of water. So far, it all stayed down, but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be like that for long.
Ab
out ten minutes later, Gabriella opened the front door carrying a grocery bag filled with pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. When she noticed me looking at the bag, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I figured we’d need it tonight. Ben and Jerry know how to make things so much better.”
“I wish that were true in this case,” I mumbled.
Opening the freezer, she started putting the pints away. “All right, babe, while I put away the ice cream go take a piss on the stick. I’ll check it when you’re done.”
Holding the box in my hand, I started off down the hall toward my room. “Nothing like déjà vu, huh?”
Gabriella chuckled, “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Once I got into my room, I went straight to my bathroom and turned on the water. Even though I had to pee like crazy, there was nothing scarier than waiting on that little test to show the answer. Taking a deep breath, I took the cap off of the test and peed on it quickly before capping it and setting it on the counter. Keeping my eyes on the mirror, I washed my hands and opened the bathroom door. Gabriella was there waiting on me.
“Are you ready to find out?” she asked.
I was almost positive I already knew the answer. Positive . . . oh, the irony. When I nodded my head, she squeezed my arm and walked by me into the bathroom. This time, I didn’t have Ryley to hold me in his arms as we waited. I was all alone sitting on my bed. After one long agonizing minute, I could see Gabriella in my bathroom with her hands on the counter looking down at the test.
“Gabby, what’s wrong?” The second I heard her sniffling I had my answer. Gabriella never cried and when she turned to me with tears streaming down her cheeks, I closed my eyes and hung my head. I couldn’t live in denial any longer . . . it was time to face the consequences.
Kneeling in front of me, Gabriella tilted up my chin and took my hands in hers. “You’re going to get through this, Ash. I’m right here with you and I know Ryley will be too.”
“How do you know? He walked away from me, Gabby. I don’t think he’s coming back.”
She furrowed her brows. “You’re not giving up on him, are you?”
“No,” I stated adamantly. “He’s not getting rid of me that fast.”
Sighing in relief, Gabby helped me to my feet and folded me in her arms. “Good, because I know he’ll come back. Just trust me and give him some time. Now let’s call Colin and get this over with.”
Nodding, I pulled away and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. Instead of texting, I dialed his number and waited on him to pick up. When his voice came on the line, I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “Hey, Colin. Are you busy right now?”
“I just got through with baseball practice and about to head home. Are you okay? What’s wrong? You don’t sound good. I was worried you were coming down with something the other night.”
“No, I’m not sick, but I’m also not okay. I need to tell you something in person, it’s important.”
“All right, I’ll be there as fast as I can. I just need to go home and take a quick shower.”
“Okay,” I whispered, my throat closing tight. “See you soon.” I hung up the phone and collapsed onto my bed. I honestly didn’t know what was going to be harder, telling Ryley or telling Colin.
I didn’t realize I had passed out, until I felt warm fingers brushing across my cheek. Instantly, I sat up and looked over at the clock. Thirty minutes had passed since my call to Colin and now he was with me, sitting on my bed. “I can’t believe I fell asleep,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “How long have you been here?”
Smirking, Colin smoothed the hair away from my face and moved closer. His blond hair was gelled in perfect spikes and he was wearing a light green button down and jeans, always so perfect. “Not long. I talked to Gabby for a few minutes before coming in here. I think her and Bradley are about to get something to eat. Do you want to go with them?”
Sitting up, I grabbed my pillow and clutched it to my chest. “I would, but I don’t think it’s a good idea right now. I need to tell you something and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”
His brows furrowed and he pursed his lips. “I know what you’re going to say and I’m fine with it. As much as you want to push me away I’m not going to let you. I love you, and I will wait on you for as long as necessary.”
Shaking my head, I laughed once and then the tears started to flow. Damn pregnancy hormones. “If only it were that simple.”
“Why isn’t it?”
“Because I’m pregnant, Colin.” There, I finally said it. Part of the weight lifted, but it was only a temporary relief considering I still had to tell Ryley. Colin’s eyes went wide and he turned his head, clearly in shock.
When he finally faced me again, he looked down at my stomach which was covered by my pillow, realization dawning in his green eyes. “Is this why you left me? Because you knew you were pregnant?”
“No, but I had my speculations. I took a test when we were in Vegas and it came back negative.”
“So that’s what happened. I knew something was wrong, but you never told me. How far along are you?” I knew what he was truly asking.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I haven’t been to the doctor yet. I just took the pregnancy test today. What I’m trying to say is—”
He held up his hand and pressed a finger to my lips. “Don’t say it, Ash. Whatever you do, don’t say it’s his. I don’t give a shit what you two did, but there’s a possibility the baby could be mine as well.”
Gently, I took his hand and held it in my lap. “I don’t see how, Colin. You and I always used condoms.”
His grip tightened. “So you’re saying you and Ryley didn’t?” I didn’t even have to answer. He could see the stricken look on my face. “Goddammit, Ashleigh. What the fuck? Have you told him?”
“No, and I can’t right now. I went to see him today and he’s still angry at me from before. It’s not the right time to tell him.”
Angrily, he got to his feet and paced my room. “Why tell him at all? He’s a fucking player for Christ’s sake. He wouldn’t know the first thing about taking care of you and the baby.”
“He deserves to know.”
His glare then turned to me, his green eyes blazing. “He doesn’t deserve shit. I’m the one who deserves to be the father of that baby. I’m the one who loves you and would do anything for you.”
“But what if the baby isn’t yours? How would you feel then?” I asked, my heart ripping open with each second. More tears flowed down my cheeks and before I could wipe them away, Colin beat me to it, his hands warm as they brushed them away.
“I would feel the same as I do now. I’d love you. Even if the baby isn’t mine, I would love it as my own. No matter what you think, there’s still a chance the baby could be mine. We didn’t exactly use condoms the entire time we made love, Ash. There’s still a possibility.”
He was right, we never started out using them; he would just put one on when he knew he was close. The possibility of him being the father was slim, but still there. “I’m going to call and make a doctor’s appointment. They should be able to tell me how far along I am. As soon as we find that out, we’ll have our answer.”
“Until then,” he murmured, caressing my cheeks. “Don’t push me away. I want to be here for you. I know you still love me.”
“I do love you, Colin, but I’m in love with Ryley. I’m not giving up on him. I know he still cares about me.”
He huffed and closed his eyes. I hated having to tell him that, but I didn’t want to give him false hope. Even if the baby was his, I still wouldn’t love him the way I loved Ryley. I had no doubt the baby was Ryley’s, but I knew I would have to prove it to Colin before he let me go. Opening his eyes, he let his hands drift down my face, then to his lap.
“I just want you to answer one question for me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and to take care of the baby, even if it’s not mine. But can you say the same for Ryley? Y
ou say he still cares about you, but what’s going to happen if the baby happens to not be his? Will he stay with you knowing that the child you carry isn’t his?”
And that was the question I was too afraid to find out the answer to. When I didn’t reply, Colin sighed and pulled me into his arms; where I promptly broke down for the fiftieth time. I hated crying, and I had a feeling I was going to be doing a lot of it.
“I’m sorry, Ash, I didn’t mean to upset you, but I wanted you to face the truth. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Then you might want to look the other way because my heart’s already been ripped out.”
BRADLEY AND COLIN both stayed the night, with Colin taking up residence on the couch. After a couple of pints of ice cream and watching my favorite movie, Pitch Perfect, the night didn’t turn out as badly as I expected. The main thing that sucked was that I threw up my ice cream, but if I were being honest with myself, it was probably because I ate two pints.
I spent the morning looking up available Marine Biology jobs in the area, but most of them I wouldn’t be able to do pregnant. I wanted to be out in the field, doing research on marine mammals and sea life. Most of the job descriptions for this type of work required you to travel and live in extreme conditions. I couldn’t do that. I only had one other option.
“What are you doing?” Colin asked, stretching his arms above his head. He was shirtless, with only his boxers on, and I knew he was doing it just to get a rise out of me. Even more so, it pained me to see the dragon that took up his entire back. I’d helped him design it.
Joining me at the bar, I slid my laptop over so he could see what I was looking at. “I need to find a job and this is all I could find. I can’t work out in the field being pregnant. I probably could right now, but toward the end, there’s just no way.”
Colin furrowed his brows and slid my laptop back. “Why do you need to work at all? Once I start playing pro baseball next year, you won’t ever have to work again. I told you I can take care of you.”
