by Suzan Lauder
“How so?” the colonel asked, intrigued by the knowledge this young woman had of his enigmatic cousin.
“Do you wish me to tell him, Mr. Darcy? How a man of sense and education can betray his own knowledge in order to make another argue?”
“You would have my relations believe that I am afraid of you, Miss Bennet,” said Darcy smilingly. “I assure you, that is not the case.”
“Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,” cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. “I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.”
“You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful!” Elizabeth proceeded to relate the particulars of a sportive debate on a book where Darcy had taken the other side from his real opinion in order to draw out sound arguments from Elizabeth regarding her interpretation of the lines of poetry. This caused a laugh from the colonel while Elizabeth gave a wry glance at a sheepish Darcy.
Elizabeth continued, “I was surprised to find that Mr. Darcy and I could ever discuss books; I had not thought we would ever read the same ones, at least not with the same feeling. When he suggested we could compare our opinions, I was astonished by the vehemence of his seemingly erroneous arguments.”
“Miss Bennet would have you believe I think ill of her accomplishments,” Darcy said, “but I had not known her long before I easily conjectured that she would have read many of the same books as I. Her intelligence far surpasses that of most women.”
“So you see, Colonel, Mr. Darcy and I do not get on at all. He acknowledges my intelligence, yet he argues against my philosophies. It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion to be secure of judging properly at first,” she said ruefully.
Darcy wisely kept quiet as he was reminded of their discussion at the Netherfield ball.
Elizabeth then changed the topic by addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. “Now, since I have managed to do ill justice to that piece of music, you may not be so pleased with hearing more, but my fingers are at your command.” The colonel perused the sheet music and selected a simple folk tune, and she obliged him by playing it.
Here they were interrupted by Lady Catherine, who approached and, after listening for a few minutes, said to Elizabeth, “Miss Bennet, you cannot expect to excel at the instrument if you do not practice. You have a very good notion of fingering, though your taste is not equal to mine. Anne would have been a delightful performer, had her health allowed her to learn.”
“Then I must take your advice,” Elizabeth said in a feigned show of submission.
“Perhaps you might like to practice on the pianoforte in Mrs. Jenkinson’s room. You would not bother anyone there.”
The three cousins looked uncomfortable at Lady Catherine’s ill-bred comment, and Elizabeth was gratified that not everyone was interested in critiquing her.
***
8 April 1812
“I am fortunate to keep up with such an excellent walker and have such good company as I tour the park,” Mr. Darcy said one day to Elizabeth.
“Indeed you are. I suppose I am fortunate as well since I am only tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt you,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes.
Darcy’s face fell. He stopped, turned to face her fully and looked at her with pleading eyes. “Miss Elizabeth, I must beg your forgiveness for uttering such an inaccurate and unkind thing. I was not myself that evening. I was already regretting my words as they left my mouth and have chastised myself ever since. I am deeply remiss for not apologizing sooner. Please accept my sincere apologies.”
“You admit that you were mistaken?”
“I have long thought you one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance,” he replied with a look that made her lower her eyelashes and blush right down to the neckline of her morning dress.
She quickly recovered and, in an attempt at levity, said archly, “Well then, Mr. Darcy, let it trouble you no longer. It is forgotten, and we can be friends.”
“Friends? I no longer need to dread your fierce arguments?” he teased. Darcy once again placed her hand on his arm, and they resumed their pace.
“I cannot promise always to control my urges towards impertinence, but you can be assured that I will no longer incite a quarrel with you for reasons of spite.”
“Aha!” he guffawed. “You have owned to malicious attacks on my point of view! I was afraid I was imagining the vindictive tone.”
“Sir, you are tempting me to re-examine my forgiveness and return to despising you!” she protested, all the while relishing the knowledge that she no longer disliked him—that in fact her admiration had grown more than she cared to acknowledge.
“I would not dare,” he said in a grave tone while he grinned and shook his head with amusement.
“Tell me, Mr. Darcy, how long do you expect to remain with your family in Kent?”
“I leave on Saturday.”
“For London?”
He shook his head. “No, I have had enough of the Season,” he said. “First I will collect my sister from my uncle’s home in London and then return to Derbyshire for the summer. I have not spent time with her since Christmas, and we are very close, being the only Darcys left in our line. We are expecting guests at Pemberley, and Georgiana and I will probably stay there until the start of the Little Season.”
“Are the Bingleys to join you then?”
“No, my guests will be family members. Bingley plans to remain in Town for the rest of the Season and then return to Netherfield Park.”
“Well, perhaps I will see you if ever you visit Mr. Bingley again.”
“I should like that, Miss Elizabeth. I should like that,” he said softly. He paused and, after a moment’s deliberation, said, “You cannot have been always at Longbourn.”
“This visit to Kent is the farthest abroad I have been in my life.”
“’Tis not a far distance.” Darcy compared the distance from Longbourn to Pemberley in his mind.
“Not a far distance? ’Tis nearly fifty miles!” Elizabeth cried, astounded.
“Fifty miles may seem like a far distance when you have never been far from home, but the roads are good, and it is barely a day’s travel, so I would not call it a far distance.”
“The near and far are relative as to fortune. When one can afford to travel, I suppose Kent is barely farther than London.”
He nodded and seemed introspective but did not respond.
Elizabeth continued, “With the exception of the Season in London with my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner and this visit to Kent, I have not been anywhere, but I am eager to change that. I plan to go to the Lake District with them this summer. I should like to visit Derbyshire as I am told it has many unique beauties.” She looked up at him, and he returned her gaze with an intense expression that she could not read.
She averted her eyes and blushed beneath her bonnet as she realized her statement could be taken as a bold declaration. She attempted to render her comments more appropriately neutral by adding, “I would dearly love to travel, but it is difficult for someone in my situation.”
“You will like Pemberley,” Darcy said with passion, and her chest tightened at the implication that he would want her to be there. Her heart told her that she wished for it, also.
They were approaching the parsonage when he stopped and turned to face her, taking her hands in his.
“Miss Elizabeth,” he said, searching her face. He took a deep breath as if preparing to say something of importance.
Just then, Charlotte appeared with Maria, and they quickly broke apart. Charlotte cheerily invited Mr. Darcy in for tea. Darcy gave Elizabeth a look that he hoped she would understand and then politely agreed. Maria approached Elizabeth and linked arms with her, chatting merrily about her day while they walked to the parsonage.
On the way in, Charlotte took Darcy aside and spoke to him in a low voice, “I have seen him again, and he appeared to be following her.”
“Thanks to your servants’ good informa
tion, I have been able to anticipate the time she typically walks out. I have made it my business to watch for her each morning and accompany her. Thus far, I have been successful. If my aunt has me occupied, I will have Fitzwilliam watch over her in my stead. Fitzwilliam has already made inquiries regarding any knowledge of Wickham’s quarters in the area and has his man checking regularly. If we find him, we will deal with him.”
“I am grateful for your help. She does not seem to think she is in danger, but I like to remain cautious.”
“I agree.”
***
That night, Elizabeth felt confused about their discourse. Why can I not settle my feelings about Mr. Darcy?
From the first time she had seen him, she thought him a handsome man with a fine figure, and she was drawn to him, but then he made that hurtful remark. Mr. Wickham’s story of ill-use by Mr. Darcy prejudiced Elizabeth until her father found out the truth, and then she was embarrassed for having allowed Mr. Wickham to take such advantage of her naïvety.
Elizabeth thought she had seen Mr. Wickham in the garden earlier that day but decided it must have been her imagination due to her mulling over that situation. Did conjuring up Mr. Wickham and formulating a chastisement in her head for all his ill-treatment mean she must have strong feelings for Mr. Darcy?
She had experienced such a tumultuous mix of interactions with Mr. Darcy. They had sparred on many occasions, and Elizabeth sometimes found it difficult to reconcile their arguments with other times of repartee that seemed more like flirtation. And many times, during more private discourse, Mr. Darcy acted almost like a suitor. He was very attentive during the walk to Longbourn from Meryton when he had so vibrantly portrayed his beloved Pemberley and then asked her to dance the first with him at the Netherfield ball. Still, he departed soon after the ball without a word. Her father’s information was that he left due to familial obligations, and she never expected to see him again. Then they met in Kent, and her feelings had no opportunity to hide from her notice.
Whenever I am with him, my sensibilities are so disturbed. I like him very much but do not know where his feelings lie. When I go out walking in the park, he always seems to meet me at the same place. Is it intentional? Does he walk with me out of friendship, or more?
Much of the time, he seemed to look upon her with detachment, but sometimes she noticed a look of tenderness and could not reconcile the two. That look he gave her when he said she was one of the handsomest women of his acquaintance—that was not unreadable. Even now, it made her feel all aflutter inside.
He finally apologised for his unkind comments at the Meryton assembly, he expressed his wishes to renew their acquaintance if he returned to Netherfield, and he said that Elizabeth would like Pemberley when she mentioned she might travel to Derbyshire. What could he mean? She knew no reason to be invited there. I do not know if I hope or fear any other intentions.
And what was he about to say when Charlotte interrupted? Had he intended to speak of his regard? His eyes seemed to convey something like that. It made Elizabeth feel a particular affection.
Am I in love with him? Oh, dear!
***
Later that night, Darcy was deep in thought as he sat in front of the fire in his chambers. He looked at his brandy as he slowly swirled the liquid in the glass, noting the golden hues drifting languidly around the curved walls, leaving their filmy shadows behind. He pondered Mrs. Collins’s warnings.
Wickham! What is he doing in Kent? I did not fully believe Mrs. Collins when she first mentioned it, but it must be true! I must protect Elizabeth from him. I know him so well—he is a rake and holds such a grudge. Without doubt, he will take his revenge on Bennet in any way possible, and I do not want that way to be Elizabeth.
His thoughts followed the direction they usually did when he was alone at night, succumbing to the war of emotions that descended upon him each time he considered the implications of his relationship with Elizabeth. The candle was guttering, so he set his glass on a nearby table and used a taper to light a new one. He returned to the settee and continued to ruminate.
Elizabeth. She is the most clever, spirited, loyal, trustworthy, kind, honourable woman of my acquaintance. She bewitches me with her sparkling humour and enchants me with her spirit. I have tried so hard to deny it, but now I know that I love her. What will Georgiana think of her? She will likely approve. Elizabeth is the best of sisters; I have seen ample evidence of that.
Darcy questioned why he had hesitated to offer for her. Was he afraid of how his family would react to her relations? They expected him to marry for rank or wealth, or both and to align with the best families, perhaps the daughter of a peer. Bennet implied that her fortune was more than rumoured, but fortune mattered little to him; his income and holdings were quite sufficient.
But do I care to meet my family’s aspirations regarding connections? Do I accede to their wishes as is my duty? Is my family’s good opinion so important to me that I would endure a loveless marriage to satisfy their expectations?
No. I want Elizabeth. She will not be surprised; I as good as declared myself today.
How beautiful she is. How I would love to see her silken hair down and spread on my pillow, with her dark eyes full of love. I have seen her form when the sunlight is behind her, and her figure is light and pleasing. I want to see her, to touch her in ways that only a husband should.
His arousal increased in line with his thoughts. He leaned back on the settee and released the fall of his trousers. He closed his eyes and began to stroke himself while imagining their lovemaking.
Her eyes are full of passion when I come to her. I draw her body close to mine and kiss her deeply. She acquiesces and returns my ardour with eagerness. She makes no complaint as I remove her night shift and pull back to admire her nakedness. Her body is so beautiful; her hips are round, her breasts full and heavy, and there is the marvellous intimation of her womanly secrets beneath the dark triangle between her legs.
I run my hands through her soft hair and down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses. I caress her curves, marvelling in the sensation as my fingers feel her fine, soft skin. I pull her to me and hungrily kiss her, bruising her lips. I go wild when she eagerly presses her body against mine and rubs against my erection as if to pleasure herself, moaning and clinging to me. I cup her generous breasts. It is incredible how much paradise I derive from feeling them. I massage them gently, and she presses into my hand. I touch her nipple, and she shudders.
Her eyes are closed, and her face is full of passion. I lay her down on the bed. My mouth follows my hand; I suckle one and then the other of her breasts, and she begs me for more. I gently caress her legs, and she opens them in welcome and allows me to touch her sex. I am overwhelmed by the feel of her; she is so very soft and wet. Her body is quivering from my ministrations. I stroke her until I am sure that she is near her pleasure. She pushes my robe away from my body, and we are both as God made us. Her eyes are dark with passion as she touches me, holds me firmly, rubs me, fondles me. I am throbbing in need for her.
Her fine eyes silently plead for what she has never known. I enter her and it is exquisite. She is so tight, so hot. I am inside her. She is surrounding me. She is moaning and moving against me and begging for satisfaction. I thrust into the ecstasy of our union until she calls out my name.
Darcy caught his seed in his handkerchief. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, and it took a few moments for him to calm himself. With the final realization of the full impact of his obsession, he became resolute.
Damn the family’s aspirations! It does not signify. I will offer for her at the next opportunity. I need her in my home and in my bed. I will not rest until I return to Pemberley with Elizabeth as my bride.
Chapter 14:
Bingley is betrothed, and Darcy is chagrined.
9 April 1812
Kent
Two days prior to the planned departure of Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy for London, three letters arrive
d, two to Miss Elizabeth Bennet at Hunsford parsonage and one to Mr. Darcy at Rosings. Elizabeth was breakfasting with the Collinses when she received hers.
“One is from Papa and the other from Jane. Oh, dear, Jane has written the direction very ill indeed. Charlotte, could you please excuse me so I might read them in the garden?”
“Of course, Lizzy,” Charlotte said while Mr. Collins mumbled his agreement through a mouthful of breakfast. She watched from the rear parlour window as her friend pored over the letters.
Jane’s was the longest, so Elizabeth chose to read it first. It started with the typical greetings and contained a commentary much like letters do: a mention that she and Mary missed Elizabeth’s company dreadfully and lamented the distance between them, a brief history of the antics of the Gardiner children, the goings-on and parties attended, good wishes sent from the other inmates at Gracechurch Street, and a polite inquiry as to the good health of Elizabeth and the rest of their friends in Kent. However, Jane’s letter had been continued the following day in a more hasty script. This part of the letter both delighted and perplexed Elizabeth.
Monday
As you are aware, Mr. Bingley has been courting me this last month, & I am delighted to advise you that I am the happiest of women to have accepted his proposal of marriage. Oh, Lizzy, I am so pleased to have the compliment of such an honourable man! Mr. B. made his addresses two days past, & I agreed immediately. Today, he went to see my father. Papa agreed as I had expected and, of course, offered his sincerest blessings.
Mr. B. told me that my father has requested we return to Longbourn sooner than planned. Mr. B. & Mr. Darcy are to join us. Mr. B. was unsure of the reason for Mr. D.’s attendance. Papa has informed Mr. B. that we have better fortunes & connections than is rumoured in Meryton, but he did not want me to disclose it other than to you. He said he had kept it secret to keep us safe from fortune hunters. Mr. B. did not press my father for any other details. Lizzy, I am much relieved that we have something to offer since our connections are not what most men find to improve their own.
