by LP Lovell
“I swear to god, Lilly, if you say the word fine one more time, I will leave you here.” I snap. “You have had major surgery. You died, and you’ve broken most of the bones in your body. You are far from fucking fine!”
There’s a beat of silence before she crosses her arms. “Whatever, but I’m not having another bed bath for as long as I live.” She grumbles.
I roll my eyes. “I’m going to pack up your stuff, then I’ll get the sign out forms and take you home.” She nods and a grin creeps onto her face. “Don’t look so smug.”
Her lips stretch into a full blown grin. “I love you.”
As it happens, it takes literally all day before a doctor can get around to see her. Why she wouldn’t just let me have her transferred to a private hospital I don’t know. She wouldn’t get this shit privately. By the time the doctor turns up I’m ready to tear someone a new one. Lilly takes one look at my expression and proceeds to death glare me over his shoulder, so I sit quietly in the corner trying to take in everything he says. I try to remember all the pills she has to take at various times, but shit, that’s a long list. Finally, the doctor signs the papers begrudgingly.
I follow him out into the corridor, with Lilly scowling at me and hissing my name.
“Doctor.” I call him. He turns to me with that perfected bedside smile on his face. “Should she really be going home?” I ask.
He sighs. “No, she shouldn’t. There is still risk of infection to her latest surgery wounds, and she needs more tests, scans and x-rays.” So why the fuck sign her off to leave?! I’m just about to say exactly that when he continues. “That said, healing is as much a mental thing as it is physical. If she is happier at home, then I see no problem with it. She will of course need to come back for the tests and scans. Make sure she takes all her meds and it should be fine. Any problems, then just bring her straight back in.” He offers me that kind smile again and turns to leave.
“Um, thank you.” I say to his retreating back. Don’t get me wrong, I want Lilly home, but I also want her healthy, and I want her to have the best care and treatment to get her that way. Instead she wants to come home with me. I’m useless at this sort of thing. Fuck. What choice do I have? She won’t stay here.
It takes me forever to get her down to the car. Everything about her seems so fragile. I’ve had broken ribs and I know how painful that shit is. She broke pretty much everything. No wonder she looks fragile.
She finally gets into the front seat, a look of pure triumph on her face, despite the pain she must be in. She’s gone a sickening shade of grey. I want to scoop her up and run her back inside the hospital, but instead I close the door and take deep breathes as I make my way to the driver’s side.
I glance at her as I slide behind the steering wheel. “Are you okay?”
“Mmmhmm.” She nods her head. “Can we go?” Her voice is strained. Bloody woman. She is so stubborn, it’s ridiculous.
The next two weeks are a combination of trips to the hospital, physiotherapy sessions and visits from Carol, the nurse I hired. Lilly has technically moved into my house now. I had movers pack up her room and bring everything over here, while she was still in the hospital.
Aside from Lilly’s physical state, things have been great. I love having her in my house. I love that my house is now our house.
Lilly gets better and better. She still needs more surgery on her ankle. I’m worried that she might end up with a permanent limp. I’ve organised for her to see a top orthopaedic surgeon. I want to get her the best possible treatment. Of course she kicks up a fuss, saying that Dr Ryker is more than capable. I know exactly why she’s so fond of Dr. Ryker. Apparently she’s been playing match maker, and trying to get Molly to date him. Needless to say, she’s bored.
It’s a Saturday night, and I’m sat on the sofa with Lilly’s casted leg in my lap. She has a cushion on her lap and she’s painting her nails.
“Please paint my toes.” She pouts. “I can’t reach.”
I cock an eyebrow. “There are very few things I would not do for you, this is one of them.”
“But they look awful.” She moans.
“Babe, get Molly to do it, this is girl shit.”
“It’s not hard…” She whines.
“No, and neither will I be, ever again if you insist on cutting my nuts off. No.”
Her lips twitch as she huffs a sigh. “Fine.”
I smile at her sulky face. She carries on painting her nails, her attention fixed on the task at hand. I grasp her calf, rubbing the muscle firmly. She groans a little and flicks her eyes up to mine.
“Why do you have to be so good at that?” She sighs.
I chuckle. She won’t take it easy, which means that she insists on hopping around here, there and everywhere. Then she wonders why her good leg gets tired, not to mention the blisters on her hands from using the crutches all the time.
She screws the lid back on her nail varnish, and rests her cheek against the back of the sofa. The crackling of the fire is the only sound in the room.
Just when I think she’s fallen asleep, she speaks. “Theo, I’m worried about you.” She says quietly.
I frown. “Why?”
She takes a deep breath. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it…” Oh here we go. “But, you haven’t said a word about Cassie or the baby since it happened.”
My fingers still. “It’s in the past. What’s the point in talking about it?”
“It was six weeks ago. You went from having a child to having nothing. It’s okay to feel that.” Her voice is soft.
I meet her sad eyes. “Lilly, I almost had nothing, because I almost lost you. You died…and, as cold as it may sound…I would have traded anything to save you.”
“But…”
“I didn’t want that baby in the first place.” I tell her. “Do I feel guilty…yes, of course I do. I could have done more, I know that. If I had been more supportive, then maybe she wouldn’t have lost her shit. Maybe one or both of them would still be here.” I shrug. “I can’t change it though.” I reach out and brush the back of her hand. “I can only make you happy.”
“You’re wrong…” She breathes. “You couldn’t have changed it.” She sighs. “When she was in that car, the things she was saying…she didn’t lose it because you wouldn’t help her, Theo. She lost it because you didn’t love her, and you were never going to. That baby was just a way to get to you.” She says. “It doesn’t mean that you aren’t supposed to feel something though.”
I do feel something. I feel guilty and resentful because an innocent child died, because Cassie needed to shove some shit up her nose. I do feel a loss. I feel the loss of what could have been, but at the same time, that was a dream, founded in an attempt to make the best of a bad situation. Lilly struggles with Cassie’s death, I know she does. She grieves for Cassie, grieves for her baby. Lilly didn’t have to sit in a hospital waiting room, while the person she loved was resuscitated. Nothing can compare to that. I can’t grieve for that baby, or for Cassie, because Lilly survived.
“There is nothing left to feel Lilly. It’s done. You are alive, and for that I am eternally grateful.” I squeeze her calf. “I nearly lost you. The rest just feels inconsequential.” I shrug.
She studies my face for a long time. “Okay.” She whispers.
“From now on we only move forward.”
She nods. “Deal.”
“I love you sugar.”
She smirks. “Not enough to paint my toes.”
We’ve just got back from Lilly’s physiotherapy. They’re helping her keep her muscle tone even though she’s not using her left leg. I’ve spoken to her physio and her doctors, and both have cleared her for travel.
I take her to one of her favourite pizza places. It’s a shit hole, but she loves it. She gets so excited whenever we come here. Even though they serve giant slices of pizza, she still makes me buy at least four, because she can’t decide which one she wants. Luckily for her,
I can eat four slices of pizza.
She takes a bite of one slice and puts it down in front of me, for me to finish. “I have a surprise for you sugar.”
She tilts her head. “What kind of surprise?” A small smile pulls at her lips. The cuts on her face have now healed, the bruises faded. She’s almost back to her original self.
I grin. “The good kind.”
She waits. “Well tell me then. I’m dying over here!”
She’s so impatient. “I’m taking you away.”
She smiles wide. “Really? Where?”
“To your new house.”
She squeals. “Cape Verde!” I nod. “When?”
“Tonight.”
“No way! I haven’t packed…”
“I have.” I cut her off. “We’re going to the airfield as soon as we’re done here.”
“Oh my god.” She shrieks. “Get a box, take it with.” She starts flapping.
She’s crazy, and I love her for it.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LILLY
Theo holds me tight against his chest, refusing to let me walk, well hobble on my own. He is insisting I keep my eyes closed for his big reveal.
After flying to Cape Verde, we then had to helicopter to the house. The island isn’t exactly overly populated, but the house is literally in the middle of nowhere. It’s the early hours of the morning now, but I can still feel the balmy air brush against my arms. I hear what sounds like the click of a key in a door, before the frigid air of an air conditioner touches my clammy skin.
“Okay, open your eyes.” Theo whispers against my ear.
I slowly open my eyes and smile. “It’s amazing.” I breathe.
It really is. We’re in a large entrance hall. In front of me is a spiral stair case, and behind it is floor to ceiling glass that follows the stairs all the way up. Dangling in the middle is an enormous, modern chandelier. It looks more like a piece of art than a lighting fixture. The floor is all marble, and the staircase has intricate metal vines wrapped the entire way up it. If this is what the hallway looks like, then the rest of the house must be ridiculous.
“I’ll show you the rest.” He beams.
“Theo, I can walk.”
“You can, but you’re really slow.” He mocks. Arsehole.
He walks through a doorway to the left and into an enormous sitting room. The back wall is made up entirely of bi-folding doors, just like his house in London. The furnishings are all simple, mainly white. He takes me out the doors, onto a deck. There’s garden furniture out here, a big-arse barbeque, and a pool. I peer into the darkness beyond the deck. I cock my head. I can hear…the ocean.
“Put me down.” I wriggle. He eventually pops me down. I hobble to the edge of the deck and dip my toes in white sand. The house is literally on the beach.
I turn and glance at him. He’s leaning against one of the large wicker sofa’s, his arms crossed over his chest. He has a beautiful smile on his face.
“I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time sugar.” He says quietly.
I shrug. “I haven’t been this happy in a long time.” I can feel the smile spread across my face. “I love the beach.”
He nods. “I remember.”
“You do?”
“Why do you think I had this built here?” Amusement laces his voice.
“Wait, you had this built?” He nods. “For me?”
“Yes.” Holy shit!
“How long did it take?” I ask carefully.
“Six months.”
“Six months ago we were just fucking.”
His lips kick up at the sides, a cocky smirk lighting his face. He steps closer to me, closing the distance between us. He grasps my face in both hands and brushes his lips gently across mine. “We were never just fucking, sugar.” He whispers against my lips. My heart leaps into a sprint immediately. His eyes lock with mine, ensnaring me. “From the first moment you rolled your eyes at me I was hooked. I knew you were it from that moment. No-one could possibly fascinate me or infuriate me the way you did with that one simple act. You were always different, Lilly - complicated, feisty, down-right antagonistic, but so sexy, so beautiful, and so mine, even if you didn’t realise it yourself.”
I swallow hard as my breath hitches in my chest. “I did realise it. The more I realised it, the harder I fought it.”
He huffs a laugh. “You’re nothing if not a fighter, sugar. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe you built this for us.”
“Wait until you see the rest.” He grins like a kid at Christmas before scooping me up without warning. I squeal in shock and he laughs.
He takes me through the house, and pushes a door open into a huge empty space. He turns on the light, illuminating a wall of mirrors opposite us. “A dance studio.” I gasp.
He nods. “And…he jogs across the space, to what looks like smaller panelled mirrors to the side. He pulls something and they all fold back in a zigzag motion, revealing a small gym. He has literally thought of everything.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I tease.
He smiles wide as he saunters over to me. He’s wearing jeans and a white v neck t-shirt that clings to his broad shoulders. He threads his fingers into my hair, and presses his lips to mine. My fingers instantly inch under his shirt, pressing against the warm smooth skin over hard muscle. His tongue teases mine until I’m all but rubbing against him like a cat. I grip his biceps, pulling him closer. He smiles against my lips and breaks the kiss. I groan.
“You’ll give a guy a serious case of blue balls sugar.” I roll my eyes. Yeah, the main down side to almost dying…no sex. I’m fine. Everything is pretty much healed, except my leg, which admittedly is still casted from foot to thigh. Pft, semantics.
“My vagina didn’t break.” I grumble.
He smirks. “You’re cute.”
“I’m horny. There’s a difference.”
He brushes his lips across mine again. “I may be able to help with that.” He breathes against my lips, before bending and throwing me over his shoulder. He marches me out of the dance studio. I squeal and laugh until I’m dizzy and I can’t breathe. All I can see is the stairs dropping away from me. I hear a door open and then I’m thrown onto a massive four post bed. There’s a canopy of gauzy material over the top. It’s so pretty.
I glance at Theo as he pulls his shirt over his head. I have to bite back a moan as all that hard muscled flesh makes a very welcome appearance.
“You like that, sugar?” He asks with a cocky smile on his lips.
I can’t even respond. Weeks of sexual frustration is simmering just below the surface. I have all but begged Theo to fuck me, touch me, anything. He won’t though. He says I’m not allowed to get over excited. I was given the all clear yesterday. My ribs are officially healed, my wrist is now out of it’s cast, and there have been no complications after my surgery. No more excuses…except my leg, but that can be worked around.
I crook my finger at him, beckoning him closer. He cocks an eyebrow at me, and crawls up the bed until he’s knelt between my thighs. He traces his fingers under the hem of my top, pushing it up my body, exposing my bra. He then pulls my bra cups down, exposing my nipples to the warm air. A satisfied smile pulls at his lips. He palms my breasts, pulling at my nipples. I’m squirming on the bed as moisture floods between my legs. Damn him. He has me so fucking desperate. Leg or not, I’m going to jump him if he doesn’t hurry this shit up. I sit up, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck. I pull him back down with me, pressing my bare torso against his naked upper body. My skin tingles, and my lips crash against his, frenzied and desperate. He kisses me back, teasing me with his tongue. I run my free hand between our enclosed bodies, my fingers tracing the bumps of his six pack. I reach the hem of his jeans, and he presses his weight against me harder, crushing my hand between us until I can’t move it.
He nips at my bottom lip. “No touchi
ng sugar, not yet.”
I groan and throw my head against the pillow in frustration. “Now is so not the time for teasing. A girl may well develop murderous tendencies.” I grumble.
His deep chuckle rumbles against my chest as his lips work down my neck. My skin breaks out in goose bumps as my heart tries to escape my chest. Slowly, he makes his way down my chest, and across my stomach. He leans back, kneeling again, as he pulls my trackies over my hips. Yeah, I’m reduced to wearing trackies, because of this stupid cast. He manoeuvres the clothing over my casted leg, leaving my thong. Before I can register his movement, his hot breath is between my legs, his lips touching me through the thin material of my underwear. I’m coiled so tight, ready to snap at any given moment. My body bucks and writhes under the smallest of touches. He laughs and winds his fingers into the material at my hips. He twists his wrist, and the thin straps snap easily. His hand slides up the inside of my good leg, gently spreading it wide. His heated eyes take in everything as I lay there completely exposed, and so fucking turned on I can barely see straight. Without warning, he dives in. Literally. Holy fuck! His tongue swipes my clit, making me cry out as my fingers claw at the sheets. My entire body is on fire as his tongue lazily strokes me. It’s seconds, and I do mean seconds, before my core tightens and an orgasm rips through me. I scream his name as he holds me down.
I lay there, gasping and shaking as his lips move over my stomach. “I forgot how good you taste.” He murmurs against my flushed skin.
I can’t talk. I can’t move. Six weeks worth of frustration just exploded out of me in about thirty seconds.
“I want to be inside you so bad.” He growls. His body presses over mine. His breathe touching my lips.
I open my eyes and smile. “So why aren’t you?” I claw at his belt, until his jeans are undone. I can feel his hard-on pressing against my inner thigh. I slide my hand inside his boxers and grasp his cock. His eyes blaze, his entire demeanour changing as I glide my hand over him. His control slips, as the animal part of him starts to rise to the surface. He may have had his hand to use for the last few weeks, but he hasn’t had this. This is different, this is primal and raw.
