by Kent, Rina
He goes on to talk about the association and the number of children they’re helping. I steal a glance at Aiden, but he appears completely engrossed in the speech. His poker face is strapped in place; his demeanour screams calm.
I can do that, too. I can act as if nothing happened.
Tristan raises a toast to the money raised tonight then continues, “I would like to take this chance to thank everyone who participated in the growth of the Rhodes Conglomerate. We have enormous plans for the future. For that, we have recruited two of the best companies as potential partners.”
Tristan tips his glass in Dad and Jonathan’s direction. “Mr King, Mr Steel. May the best one win.”
Everyone raises their glasses, Dad and Jonathan included.
The look in their eyes can only mean ‘Game on’.
Aiden spins around and his cloudy eyes meet mine. He doesn’t have to search for me as if he knew exactly where I stood. Even though his expression is unreadable, I’m almost sure that his thoughts match mine.
The real war has started.
10
Aiden
Past
I pace the length of the basement as far as the chains would let me.
They rattle behind me, their heavy clink is the only sound surrounding me in the looming darkness.
No idea if it’s night or day. Back home, I associated the dark with nighttime, but there doesn’t seem to be a sense of time in this place.
The red woman didn’t show up.
I’m never sure if she’ll hug me or hit me across the face, telling me to bring back her son.
There’s also the girl who looks like a doll — Elsa. It’s been a long time since she came by.
Time here is so messed up. It feels as if I’ve been trapped for two months.
Maybe it’s less. Maybe it’s more.
Mum used to say that when you’re free, time flies by, but it becomes long when you’re trapped. I didn’t understand her back then, but now I do. Time is weird that way. Time is endless and short all at once.
The door slowly creaks open. I come to a halt, the chains slowly hissing to a stop, too.
It’s the girl.
The red woman wouldn’t open the door slowly, she’d barge in, sometimes startling me from sleep.
Elsa’s small footsteps echo in the empty basement. She brings light with her — and it’s not only because of her torch.
It’s her entire presence. Her little bunny shoes and her tiny sleeping dress.
She smells of marshmallow, honey, and the beginning of spring. If light has a smell then Elsa is it. Just like Mum smells like warmth.
Sometimes, I wonder if I’m talking to imaginary people like Mum. I thought of Silver and Kimberly’s dolls and then brought them to life so I can stay calm.
Dad says to always stay calm. Emotions can be my downfall. Just like my mum. He says she feels too much, and that’s why she cries a lot.
I think she cries a lot because he doesn’t feel enough.
Elsa tiptoes close to wrap the blanket around my shoulders. Since I’m taller, she strains and huffs in frustration, blowing on her golden strands.
My lips twitch as I lower myself so she can properly do it. She grins with triumph and drops her bag on the floor. There are a sandwich and a bottle of juice today.
“I did them behind Uncle Agnus’ back.” She puts a finger on her mouth. “Don’t tell him.”
I sit on the cold floor and take a bite of the sandwich. It’s filled with bacon, ham, and all sorts of cheese.
Elsa likes putting cheese everywhere. I don’t really care for it, but I eat anyway.
The red woman only gives me water, if it weren’t for Elsa, I would’ve starved.
“Thank you.” I swallow my first mouthful.
“If you want to thank me, tell me your name.”
She crouches in front of me, crossing her arms over her knees and leaning her head on her arm.
It’s become a habit of her to watch me like that.
Like I’m an alien.
I chew on my next bite slowly, thinking about her words.
Dad always says to never give my name to someone with bad vibes. Elsa doesn’t give bad vibes, but she lives in a place that does.
The red woman looks so much like her, too. Maybe one day, she’ll be the same.
Elsa frowns. “Why don’t you tell me your name? I told you mine.”
I remain silent.
“I’ll just call you Grey Eyes then.” She grins as if she came up with the most unique nickname.
“I had a teddy bear named Ted, but I had to give it to two children like you. If I still had it, I’d give it to you.”
I continue chewing silently.
“If I can’t find the keys that open your cuff, I’ll tell Daddy when he comes back. He’ll save you like he saved them.”
Still, I say nothing. One, I’m hungry. Two, I like it better when she talks. Her voice is like a classical melody, soft, elegant, and… peaceful.
“How old are you?” she asks.
“Eight.”
“I’ll also be eight soon.” Her missing tooth shows when she smiles big. “We can be friends.”
“I have friends.”
“Oh.” Her expression falls.
I want to kick myself for making her feel bad. Cole keeps saying I should make my words less direct.
No idea what that means.
However, I don’t want Elsa to feel bad. What if she never returns and I’ll stay in the dark all alone?
She peeks at me through her eyelashes with puppy eyes. “Can’t you add one more friend?”
I open my mouth to agree.
“Wait!” She reaches into her pocket and retrieves a small pack of chocolate balls. “I’ll give you two of my Maltesers. They’re my favourites.”
The sound of the bag fills the basement as she opens it and brings out two small balls. She bites her lower lip, eyes squinting hard, then retrieves another one. “Okay, I’ll give you three.”
She reaches out her hand then drops the three pieces back into the bag and offers it to me with a resigned sigh. “You can have them all if you become my friend.”
When I don’t take it, she shoves it into my lap. “I gave you my Maltesers, you have to be my friend.”
I smile at her funny expression. She looks on the verge of taking back her chocolate and running away to eat them in the corner.
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll be your friend.”
She claps, giggling. “Yes!”
I take one chocolate ball and offer her the rest. “We can share.”
Her teeth sink in her bottom lip. “Are you sure? I gave them to you. I don’t want to be rude and take them back.”
“Friends share everything.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She snatches the bag of Maltesers and stuffs her mouth with two balls of chocolate. “Hey, Grey Eyes.”
“Hmm?” I watch her twinkling eyes as she chews. Some of the chocolate sticks to her upper lip.
“When I grow up, I’m gonna buy you a bucket of Maltesers.”
“Why?”
“Because Dad says you have to buy gifts for the one you marry.”
“Marry?” I whisper.
“Yup!” She grins. “When I grow up, I’m going to marry you.”
“You can’t marry me.”
Her face contorts. “Why not?”
“Mum says you have to love someone to marry them.”
“Then you can just love me.” She throws her hand in the air. “What’s so hard about that?”
I remain silent. This girl is crazy.
“Hey, Grey Eyes.” She scoots closer. “When I give you the bucket of Maltesers, are you going to share it with me?”
I laugh and she laughs with me. Her laughter is like the sunshine after a rainy day. It’s the sun peeking through the cloudy sky.
As I watch her, I realise
I want to see her laugh all the time.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe after we grow up, she needs to stay close so I can see her laugh this way every day.
She has the most beautiful laughter I’ve ever seen.
“Promise you’ll marry me.” She holds out her pinkie.
I curl mine around hers. “I promise.”
11
Aiden
Present
School is the last place I want to be.
However, every day I wake up, get ready, and hope against hope she’ll show up.
I don’t even do the hope thing. I’m a doer.
It’s been more than thirteen days since she left to Birmingham and didn’t return.
Five days since the Rhodes’ fundraiser.
Five whole fucking days of sleepless nights.
Five days of angry handjobs while thinking about her.
Five days of contemplating how to barge into her world without making her hate me even more.
How the fuck am I supposed to get her back if she’s on the other side of the country? How am I supposed to reach her if she won’t hear me out?
The numb, apathetic expression on her face at the party still guts me every time I think about it.
As a result, all my handjobs end with a pathetic, non-satisfying release.
Elsa is slowly pulling away from me. I can feel it down to my soul and damn bones.
I can’t even push back when she’s volatile.
Elsa is so closed off about my involvement with Queens, she won’t hear anything contrary to what she already believes in.
Stubborn fucking girl.
I slam my car’s door shut and walk the small distance to Nash’s black Jeep.
He appears completely at ease as he retrieves his books from the passenger seat.
I know better.
If I spent last night running hills and swimming, he spent it blowing off steam in the only way he knows how.
I prop my elbow against the side of his car. “Are you going to stop being a little bitch?”
“Are you going to stop being a fucking whore?” He doesn’t miss a beat.
“You know that’s not what happened, Nash. Stop thinking with your dick.”
“Is that so?” He slams the passenger door shut and faces me, holding his books with one hand. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, then? I’m listening.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
Smart.
Nash’s intelligence is the reason I got myself into this whole fucking mess in the first place.
The challenge and the games are what we lived for. I never thought there would be a day when I would regret them. Partly because I don’t do regrets. And also because I didn’t see Elsa coming back into my life with such power.
“Talk to Elsa,” I say.
“Why would I do that?”
I want to smash his face into the car and pick his neurons apart.
I don’t do that.
Nash is one of my rare tickets to get Elsa back.
“She likes and trusts you more than ever after you ran your fucking mouth about the kidnapping.”
“She does, doesn’t she?” His lips curl into a smirk.
Fucker knows his strengths all too well. He didn’t only tell Elsa about the kidnapping to get back at me, he also did it so she’d trust him.
“Too bad I’m not in the mood to help a fucking whore.” He slams his shoulder into mine.
I clench my jaw and grab him by the shoulder. “I’ll owe you one.”
He stops and slowly turns around.
Nash, of all people, knows I don’t like owing anyone shit. This is a drastic measure. I’m giving him the chance to make the first move and strike.
“You’ll end it.” He squares his shoulders so we’re standing toe-to-toe. “All of it.”
“Soon.”
“And you’ll tell me what the fuck is your deal with her.”
“Deal.”
Sorry not sorry, Queens. I warned you. Now, you’re on your own.
If I were a better person, I would’ve sent her a warning text, but I’m not. Besides, this is payback for when she didn’t notify me about Jonathan.
It might take days, but I always pay my dues.
“When are you going to talk to her?” I ask.
“After you do.”
“If I could talk to her myself, I wouldn’t ask you to do it for me.”
“Elsa isn’t like us. She needs to hear it straight from you and Silver or she won’t believe it.”
“She wouldn’t fucking talk to me.”
“You deserve it.”
“Nash,” I warn low.
“Just saying. Ask for forgiveness and show her your true feelings — as fucked up as they are. Knight, Astor, and I can talk to her all day, but if she shuts down from you, there’s no bringing her back.”
“When did you become an expert on relationships?”
“Since you keep fucking up.” He starts towards the building. “Show up for practice and make an actual effort or I’ll have to ask Coach to bench you.”
Little —
“Oh.” He smiles. “We have an interesting addition to the team.”
Fuck if I care.
We walk through the school’s hallway. Girls from the gymnastics and track teams bat their eyelashes at me.
They think because Elsa is out of the picture, they have a chance.
I’d pity them if I could.
There’s no one before Elsa and no one after her. She’s a constant, and soon everyone will know that.
Elsa fucking included.
Astor joins us and chats about his latest bang and the upcoming game, but I filter him out.
My head hurts from lack of sleep. It’s been three days since I last slept, and I still couldn’t collapse. I’m this close from seeing people as caricatures.
Wait. That’s their everyday appearance.
“So, King.” Astor wraps an arm around my shoulder and the other around Nash’s.
I don’t even have the energy to remove his arm or threaten to break it.
“When are you going to apologise to Ellie and bring her back? Hmm? Hmm?”
I glare at him.
“Knight and I can prepare a carriage filled with flowers and chocolate and shit.”
Elsa doesn’t like chocolate. Well, except for Maltesers. I wonder if she’ll remember anything if I give her those little chocolate balls.
“I can even sing.” He snaps his fingers. “Wait! Cake bunny hookers! Ellie would fucking love them. Am I right or am I right?”
“You’re never right, Astor,” I tell him.
“And stop inserting cake bunny hookers in every idea,” Nash chimes in.
“Fais chier, connards. Someone needs to acknowledge my fantasies or I’m cutting a bitch.”
My feet come to a halt of their own volition.
Blonde hair bounces down slender shoulders with blinding elegance. Like a light in the darkness, Elsa walks down the hall with Van Doren and a tiny girl.
I’m pushed back to that basement when she brought light with her.
Literally.
Figuratively.
This thing inside me that beats for her is boundless.
I can’t stop looking at her. At her electric blue eyes, her radiant face, and those fucking kissable lips that are mine.
She’s all mine with a capital M.
And now, she’s back.
This time, only death would do us part.
12
Elsa
Dad agreed to let us go back to RES.
Shocking, I know.
With what happened at the Rhodes’ estate, I thought he’d be opposed to RES now more than ever. However, when we sat down and I told him I want to finish the year at my school, he didn’t object.
And I’m glad. It was rushed to even think about leaving the school in the first place.
I’m done
running and hiding.
I’m done disappearing when I should be walking the halls with my head held high.
I did nothing wrong.
Dad’s agreement might have to do with the fact that he needs to be in London to prepare for the Rhodes’ project.
Knox is all for going back to RES. His previous school in Birmingham is boring as fuck — again his words, not mine.
Teal isn’t as ecstatic about the move. She only came along because no one stayed in Birmingham except for the staff.
Dad’s house in London is close to Ronan’s neighbourhood. It’s a bit far from Aunt and Uncle’s house, but I promised to visit them today.
Teal, Knox, and I walk down the hall towards our class. I try not to focus on Aiden standing by the entrance, all powerful and polished. Both his hands are shoved into his pockets, which means he’s stopping himself from doing something — what, I don’t know.
He watches me as if I’m the only one in the busy hallway. The interest in his eyes is paralysing, suffocating even. His gaze studies me close, so close, as if he’s relearning my features, the curve of my shoulder, and the line of my collarbone.
Almost like… he’s making sure I’m real.
He gave me that look once upon a time.
Was it in our childhood?
I shake myself internally. Just because I came back to RES doesn’t mean I’ll get entangled up with Aiden all over again. My return has nothing to do with him and everything to do with my self-worth.
RES has my grades and my track practice and my friends.
It also has Aiden and my bullies.
Oh well, all places have advantages and inconveniences.
I breeze straight past him, ignoring his stupid broad shoulders and ridiculous tall frame.
One day, I’ll stop seeing him as an attractive bastard.
Attractive or not, I’m not falling back into his orbit.
This is more than my attraction or feelings. This is about my worth.
I deserve better than being the other woman.
I deserve better than being a mere pawn.
I deserve better than him.
Knox, Teal, and I sit close together, and I listen to Knox talking about how Agnus tricked him into helping for free.
