The third period is about to start and I still sit silently, looking at the ice. JWU plays hard and the score is 1-1. I watch the clock tick down to less than a minute, when my twin brother jumps the boards and steals the puck. He skates the length of the ice and shoots the puck, effortlessly, into the net. My dad is shouting so loud, “That is my boy!” I stand and cheer for my brother.
When the final buzzer sounds, we head out. Well, Levi and my dad headed out, and I trailed behind. We are waiting outside for Trevor and my dad is still going on about the medical field and Levi’s future options. Again, I just stand there. I feel Levi put his arms around me. I give him a tight smile. Trevor comes out and my dad wraps him in a big hug.
“Trevor, I’m so proud of you son. You’re the greatest son.” He beams with pride at Trevor. Levi squeezes me tighter knowing that my father hardly spoke to me tonight.
“Dad, did you hear that Presley got all A’s on her mid-terms?” Trevor tries to turn it to me. He did the same thing when we were younger, but it never worked. Trevor sees Levi is holding me and gives me an evil look.
“Trevor, you need to work more on your forehand. I want you to promise that you’ll practice on that.” Just like that, Dad goes on and on about Trevor’s stick handling skills and never acknowledges anything about my grades.
“I know I asked you for a prize at the end of this, but instead I’m going to give you a prize.” Levi leans down and whispers in my ear. I can’t stop the smile that appears on my face.
“Presley,” my dad interrupts us.
“Yes, Daddy.” Dad hands me an envelope and tweaks my nose. He knows I hate that but he does it all the time.
“Levi, it was wonderful to meet you, son. Please call me and we can discuss more about an internship this summer. That’s if you aren’t in the NHL by then.” Levi shakes my dad’s hand and both of them are laughing.
“Dad, you approve of this and what internship?” Trevor asks with an anger in his voice.
“Levi is extremely smart and determined,” Dad says, ignoring the internship question. “I’m glad Presley was able to land someone that will be able to handle her in the future. Come on, Trevor let’s go get something to eat.” Dad throws his arm around Trevor. Trevor gives Levi the meanest look as they walk away.
“Well, I must say that it has been an interesting night,” Levi says.
“I’m sure you had a blast,” I say with a hint of disgust. I might have said five words to my father the whole night. However, that is not anything new to me. “What was he talking about with an internship?”
“He was telling me about a lab he works with that has a summer internship and he might be able to get me on the list. I have a question, has it always been like that, I mean, between you two?” Levi asks as we head down to his car.
I shrug, trying to pretend that it doesn’t bother me. “Yes, it has. I’m just a girl, that is what Daddy says.”
“So, what’s in the envelope?” He points to the envelope I’m putting in my purse
I look down at it sadly. “Money. Daddy always gives me money instead of talking to me.”
“Really? That seems a little…strange.” We make it to Levi’s SUV, when he pushes me up against the car. “How about you and I grab some food and head back to your place?” He kisses down my neck and I’m thankful his car is holding me up as my knees grow weak.
“What do you want to eat?” I ask breathlessly.
Levi pulls away from my neck and looks deep into my eyes. “Oh, I know what I want to eat tonight.” A smirk comes across his face and he perks one eyebrow. I can’t help but flirt back.
“Well, Captain Carr, what do you want?” I slide my hands down his chest until they touch the top of his jeans. He is parked in a dark spot of the parking lot and no one can see us. I decide to see how far I can go with my flirting with him. I rub my hand over his jeans, feeling how hard he is already.
“Be careful, Smarty,” he leans down and whispers in my ear. He cups my ass and squeezes. “You better not tease me.”
I bite my lip, looking at him, and push him a little further. I reach for his zipper and drag it down. “Who says I was teasing?” I can feel his heat against my hand as I stroke him. Levi growls in my ear.
“Presley.” His breathing is choppy. “Presley, if you don’t stop right now, I am going to do you right now in this parking lot.” I stroke him faster. Levi begins to kiss me. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and I’m still stroking him. He breaks our kiss and places his forehead against mine.
“Fuck, Presley. You’ve got to stop or I’m not going to last much longer.” I can feel him getting tighter in hand.
“What are you going to do if I don’t stop?” I whisper in his ear. “When was the last time you were fucked on the hood of a car?” Ok, I’ve never had sex on a hood of a car, but it is something about Levi that brings out a whole different side of me. I’m not miss Presley McCarthy right now. I’m Presley, Levi Carr’s girlfriend.
“I’ve never done that Smarty.” I slow the stroking down. Levi Carr has a serious reputation being with every single Puck Bunny in the area, but he never had sex on the hood of the car.
I know that it’s cold out, but I am so hot right now, I won’t even notice. “Take me, Levi, right now,” I say before I could let my nerves get the best of me.
“What?” He is looking at me in complete shock and I stop stroking him.
“Grab a condom and fuck me right now, right here.” Levi actually looks around first. I assume he is making sure the coast is clear.
“Presley, are you sure?” I don’t answer him. I start to unbutton my shirt and expose my black lace bra. “Oh, fuck.” Levi pushes his body against mine and I’m sandwiched between him and the SUV. He cups my breast and pinches my nipple. I moan and throw my head back. I feel Levi’s warm body leave mine, as reaches in his back pocket to get a condom. He slips it on and begins to work on my jeans. I can’t catch my breath as he jerks my jeans down.
My body is on fire when Levi picks me up. “No turning back, Smarty.”
“Fuck me, Levi.” The words roll off my tongue with ease as Levi enters me. I arch my back, laying on the hood. Levi pushes harder into me and I can’t believe the sensations racing through my body. I dig my nails into his arms and I’m sure I will draw blood, even through his several layers of clothes.
“Harder, Levi.” I need more of him and I can’t help the words coming out of my mouth. I am saying his name over and over again until I release on him. At the same time, Levi comes with me.
After we regain our senses, I put my feet back on the ground, and pull up my cold jeans that were on the ground. Levi reaches into the back of the SUV and grabs a towel from his gym bag. After he cleans himself and straightens his clothes, he comes back to me.
He stares at me for a moment and I’m not sure if he is mad or happy. Before I can ask, he gives me the warmest and sweetest kisses.
“Do you know what you do to me?” His question is so quiet that I almost don’t hear him.
“I hope good things?” I question.
Levi doesn’t answer me, he just stares and gives me a tight smile.
Chapter Thirteen
Levi
The phrase “mind blown” doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel right now. Presley conned me into spending the night. Well, she didn’t really talk me into it. She asked, and I said yes. I wanted one last perfect night for a bit. While her warm body is curled around me, she’s off in dreamland, and I’m here stuck in the harsh reality I created for myself. What Presley did tonight, demanding that I fuck her on the hood of my car, I still can’t believe it.
When I asked her if she knew what she does to me, the depth of what I was asking went right over her head. Presley has no clue whatsoever. How can she when I’m barely grasping the concept myself? My heart feels so heavy and conflicted. For the time being, I need to rid myself of these thoughts and get some sleep.
Right then, Presley stirs. She rolls over and
hugs my arm between her breasts, using it as a pillow causing my hand to rest between her thighs since she’s laying in fetal position. I turn as well and hug her to me. Forcing my eyes to close, I focus on the feel of her torso against me as she breathes.
I sleep for maybe an hour when I awake again, those nagging thoughts bombarding me first thing. Knowing that I can ease out of bed without waking her, I do so. I dress quietly before grabbing my phone off her nightstand. Leaning down, I place a sweet kiss on her temple and leave her apartment. Presley probably won’t be happy when she wakes up and discovers my absence, but I can’t stay a minute longer.
Between hockey and school over the next week, I see Presley once. She comes to one of my games, and I take her out for a milkshake afterwards. When she asks me to spend the night, “because I haven’t seen you all week,” she says, it kills me to tell her no. I did have schoolwork and a test to study for, so my excuse was valid. My mind has been in shambles, and I’ve come to a realization.
I’m a bastard.
A sick, sick bastard.
If I thought I disappointed my mom before and if she’s watching over me now, I’ve surpassed disappointment and have taken a shameful path instead. Why did I even think it would be okay to do this to someone to begin with? Yeah, I still hate McCarthy, but I shouldn’t have dragged Presley into this. Simply talking to her now brings on the guilt of how I tricked her into trusting me, so I could use her. For once, I’m actually thankful for having so much homework to do because it gives me a reason to avoid seeing her. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy every simple second with Presley, but the regretful crash of how I got to spend those moments with her is overwhelming.
I can’t be too standoffish though. I don’t want her questioning it beyond how it’s just a busy time right now. And it is, thank goodness. I’m dreading when things do calm down, though. How can I look her in the eyes, see that beautiful smile of hers that’s there just for me it seems, and know how much of an ass I am? I definitely have nothing to be proud of, and I can almost hear Momma scolding me for being an idiot and thoughtless person to do such a thing.
The bitter air whips in the wind around me. For the first time since I left for college, I’m sitting on the concrete bench in front of my mother’s grave. The sting of the gust makes me wonder if that’s Mom’s way of slapping me from the other side. I smile slightly at the thought. I can practically hear her now and the things she would say to me if she were here.
“It’s about time that you grew a conscience, Levi. About time you startedcaring about something other than hockey and yourself. You need to let go, son.”
The powerful wind tunes down to a breeze as if matching my inner conversation from my mother.
“Levi, baby, let it go. Leave it behind and go be happy.”
My throat burns and I stand, not wanting to be here any longer. There’s too much sadness and guilt clogging my airways, and I need to get away from this place. I lay the lone pink zinnia before her headstone and leave to return to campus. Tomorrow, I’ll finally make the trip to see my father and maybe, just maybe, I’ll bring Presley along. I have yet decided what needs to be done to make my bad deeds right, so for now, I’ll let things return to normal.
~ ~ ~
It’s around noon on Saturday and I decide I want Presley to come with me. I can’t help but wonder what Dad will think of her. Anyway, having her there will allow me a reason to leave early, if I want, and I can take her skating on the pond where my dad fishes all the time. It’s on the land where my dad hunts too. The water should be good and frozen by now. I speed dial her.
“Hey stranger,” she answers. I can hear the smile grinning on her lips.
“What’s up, Smarty? Any plans this afternoon?”
“Maybe. What did you have in mind?”
“Would you like to ride with me to see my old man? I need to check up on him and I could show you around while we’re there.”
“Sure. Sounds fun. When do we need to leave?”
“Thirty minutes?”
“Ever heard of advance notice, Levi?” She sighs dramatically, and I chuckle. “I’ll be ready.”
“Oh, do you have a pair of skates?”
“Yes,” she trails.
“Bring them.”
“Why?”
“I’ll see soon, Smarty,” I smile and hang up when she huffs a ‘fine.’
I don’t know what makes me more nervous. Going home or taking Presley with me. Both are unnerving. Somehow, along this twisted path, this girl has overtaken me. She has wound herself around my every bone, purified my dark, tainted blood, and captured my heart, holding it forever captive.
We’re almost to our first destination, the pond, and I glance over at her. She slid her seat back far enough so she could prop her feet on my dash.
“Are you freaking out about having my shoes up here?” she asks and I laugh, relaxing.
“No. I can always clean it, Smarty.”
“Never would have pegged you for a neat freak, Levi,” Presley smiles at me.
I chuckle and focus on the road, slowing to turn down a dirt path.
“Where are we?” she inquires, dropping her feet to the floor to sit up and look around.
I don’t answer and within minutes, we’re parked in front of the pond. “C’mon,” I tell her getting out. She meets me in front of my car, and I take her hand to walk down to the edge.
“Please tell me that you didn’t want me to skate on that?” she asks incredulously.
“That was the plan,” I begin, but I already know it won’t happen. “It’s not thick enough, though. Usually, it is, but I guess the weather hasn’t been cold enough yet.”
Presley lets a whoosh slip from her lips. “Maybe next time.”
“Scared of that too?” I smirk.
“Nope. Not scared of a little frozen water.”
I laugh and she slaps my arm playfully.
“Where are we anyway?” she asks.
“This is my dad’s land. He comes here to fish and hunt. Tries to anyway. I don’t know how successful he is.”
We turn at the sound of a rumbling engine and my heart races. I thought I had at least an hour before Presley met my dad, but it’s happening sooner than I thought.
“Who’s that?”
“My dad,” I answer, tugging her to where he is parked beside my vehicle. We reach him just as he has gotten out.
“Levi, what are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” I tell him as we hug.
“Just checking up on things here. Who’s this pretty lady?” Dad grins a smile identical to my own.
“Pops, this is Presley McCarthy, my girlfriend.” A thrill runs through me still at calling her that. “Pres, this is my father, Victor Carr.”
Dad looks shocked, but it disappears quickly when Presley holds out her hand. My dad laughs, temporarily confusing her. “I’m a hugger,” he explains, and I smile as they embrace. “It’s nice to meet you.” Pops turns his attention back to me. “I didn’t know you were in town.”
“I decided to surprise you.”
Both of Dad’s white eyebrows rise, but all he says is, “Well, I’m happy to see you. It’s been too long, you know. Your mother wouldn’t approve.”
“I know, Pops,” I reply quietly.
“How about we get out of this cold and go to the house? I’m sure I can find some embarrassing photos of Levi for you, Presley,” he winks.
“That’d be great,” she giggles.
“I’ll follow you,” I tell him. He nods and we return to our cars.
“Your dad seems pretty cool. Way better than mine,” she attempts a laugh, but it comes out halfheartedly.
“He’s great,” I confirm, still hung up on the comment of my mother’s disapproval.
Within minutes of being back at my childhood home, Dad has brought out a photo album from his bedroom and gives it to Presley to flip through at the kitchen table. Dad begins to rummage around to prepare somet
hing to eat, and I stop him.
“I’m sure the stories you can tell Presley are better than my version. Sit and I’ll fix something.”
“You can cook?” Presley and my father ask simultaneously. They laugh, and I shake my head. Dad knows I can at least fix one dish, because Mom made sure I could prepare her favorite, claiming it would come in handy one day.
“Go down memory lane and leave me alone,” I chuckle.
It doesn’t surprise me that all the ingredients are here. While I begin preparing the chili, I listen to their conversation.
“He was a big baby,” Presley comments.
Dad laughs. “Yes, he was. I felt so badly for Amanda. She wasn’t a tall woman, by no means, and she was carrying my child.”
“Your wife was beautiful,” she says, tearing at my heart. My blue eyes were the main thing I took after my mom, everything else is my old man to the T.
“Thank you. I thought so too.” I imagine he winks at her. Knowing him, he did.
Once they get past all the laughable photos of my childhood, I can tell by their silence what images they are looking at now. Photographs from the last years of my mom’s life. The best and worst time of our lives. It was the best because Mom was even more determined than ever to cross things off her bucket list. The worst because we were on a time limit and we all knew it.
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