by Beth Wiseman
Charlotte reminded herself that the Amish had their own set of traditional values, but comingled with that thought was her own upbringing. “I know everyone is upset and worried about the decisions facing Annie and Jacob, but it has to be the right thing for them. A bad marriage with unhappy people is not a good environment for a child. You got mad at me when I said that before, but it’s true.”
“Jacob and Annie are young. If they don’t have the kind of love for marriage now, they will grow into it.”
“It doesn’t always work that way. But I’m not going to say anything more to either one of them about it. They have to make their own decisions. But Daniel, Annie does have choices, and you shouldn’t influence her either.”
He was quiet, and Charlotte assumed she’d overstepped.
Daniel cleared his throat. “I should have protected Annie better, been a better bruder to her. Maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“She’s in this mess because Jacob couldn’t keep his—” She stopped, knowing it takes two to tango. “You couldn’t have stopped her. They are two teenagers who got caught up in the moment and acted on it.”
“I don’t know . . .”
Charlotte heard the regret in his voice, still surprised he’d chosen her to confide in. “If Annie and Jacob get married, do they have a place to live? Because I can offer them a great deal on a little blue house in the area.” She set the flashlight in motion on the ceiling again.
“Ya, they would need a home.”
A prospect. She reminded herself to call the realty company in the morning about the water being off and the repairs Daniel was going to make. “Why do you still live at home?” she asked since the topic provided a natural segue.
“I’m not married.”
“I know. But don’t you want to be out on your own?”
“Of course. But I’ve saved almost every penny I’ve earned since I started working when I was fourteen. For eleven years I’ve split my time between my part-time job building storage sheds and working the farm. I give Mamm and Daed some of it to help with expenses, and I’ve saved the rest. There was a time when I thought Edna and I might get married, and I was going to buy her the grandest house in Paradise. But that didn’t work out. And I’m not dating anyone.” He chuckled. “There’s no one left to date. People in our community get married young.”
Charlotte knew that to be true. “I’m sure you’ll find someone.”
“Now isn’t a gut time with Mamm pregnant. Do you know how that works?”
“Uh . . .” What is he asking me?
He laughed again. Daniel had a nice laugh. Especially compared to Ryan, who made a weird gurgling sound when he laughed. She realized that the Jacob and Annie drama had kept thoughts of Ryan at bay.
“I didn’t word that very gut,” he said, then chuckled again. “I know how babies are made. I’m just wondering how dangerous it is for mei mamm to be having a baby at fifty-two. She’s been sick a lot and vomiting, and I know that’s normal, but when Daed told us she was with child, I could see the worry on his face. I didn’t even know that could happen at her age.”
“Most of the time, I don’t think it does. But I’m sure her doctor will keep a close eye on her.”
“Um . . . that is kind of why I’m calling.”
Ah, finally.
“Mamm’s doctor called in a prescription for her. It’s in Lancaster at the Walmart on Lincoln Highway, and our driver is still ill.” He paused. “Is there a chance that you might be traveling that way in the next day or two? I—I mean, I was wondering if you might be able to pick up Mamm’s prescription. I’m sure you don’t care for driving that truck, but I thought maybe—”
“I don’t mind at all. As a matter of fact, I’ve been having trouble with my computer cord charging my computer, so I was going to have to make a trip to Lancaster anyway. Only thing is, I can’t go until Friday. I promised Hannah and Isaac that I would take them to run errands for their wedding tomorrow. I’d be happy to pick up your mother’s prescription if it doesn’t have to be done tomorrow. Or I could drive to Lancaster late tomorrow afternoon. The places Hannah needs to go aren’t near Lancaster, but if your mom needs the medicine tomorrow, I’ll sure make the trip for her.”
“Nee, Friday will be fine. Danki. I appreciate it, and I know Mamm will be grateful too. Annie was sick for a few days, but that was it. And nothing like the way Mamm is sick.”
Charlotte yawned. “Some women don’t have morning sickness or have a light case of it, like Annie.”
They were quiet for a while, then Daniel spoke up.
“I want to apologize to you. You’ve been kind to Jacob and Annie, and whether or not I agreed with what you said to Annie, I had no right to yell at you. Especially at a time when you are enduring so much change in your life and hurting from a breakup.”
“I appreciate that. Broken hearts heal. It just takes time, I suppose.”
“I hurt over Edna for a long time, but . . .” He was quiet for a few moments. “I’m better. I hope you’ll feel better soon too.”
“Thank you.” Charlotte yawned again as she made larger circles on the ceiling. Maybe she’d sneak a piece of buttered bread and a glass of milk since she was here. She was getting ready to say good night when Daniel spoke again.
“Can I ask you something?”
Charlotte shined the flashlight around the counter until she found a loaf of bread wrapped in plastic wrap. “Okay . . .”
“Why didn’t you just ask Hannah and her family what happened instead of pretending to be Amish to get answers about your brother’s death?”
Charlotte slumped into her chair and laid the flashlight on the table. She knew she hadn’t imagined Daniel’s hostility when she’d first arrived. This must be at the core of his thoughts of her.
“Well . . . at the time, I was convinced that the Amish people were some sort of cult that had lured my brother in and ultimately caused his suicide. I needed someone to blame. And I thought Hannah and her family were hiding something. It wasn’t until I got to know them all that I realized how much they were hurting and how they didn’t understand why Ethan did what he did either.”
Daniel was quiet, then asked, “Do you think Edna had anything to do with Ethan’s suicide?”
Charlotte squeezed her eyes tight. “You know, I really shouldn’t have told you about Ethan and Edna. I’m not normally a gossip. And to be honest, I think Ethan might have been a bit obsessed with Edna, and that combined with his depression is what may have sent him over the edge. Edna chose John over Ethan. I didn’t know that you had dated her too.” Charlotte didn’t care much for the woman, but she’d already made that clear to Daniel. “It makes me feel better to blame someone occasionally, even if I know the blame is misdirected at Edna.”
“Hmm . . . I think Edna is a little lost right now. She doesn’t seem happy with John. Or maybe she’s upset about something else.”
“Depression is a tricky type of illness, and I think it’s hard to diagnose sometimes.”
“I’m sorry about your brother. I really am. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to Annie. I feel so responsible for her, even though I know that she will follow her own path. I just hope she chooses wisely.”
“Thank you for saying that about Ethan. I hope Annie chooses what is best for her and her baby.” Charlotte stifled another yawn.
“I’ll let you get some sleep. Thank you again for saying you’d pick up Mamm’s prescription.”
“No problem. I’ll drop it off Friday.” She wondered how much it would cost, knowing Daniel would pay her back, but also hoping she had enough money up front.
“And I hope things go well with the sale of your house. I should have the plumbing problems fixed tomorrow, I hope.”
“Thank you so much for helping me with this. Did you notice if the mattress was in the bedroom?”
“Nee, I was just looking for where the water was coming in, kitchen or bathroom. I didn’t really pay attent
ion to anything else.”
“Isaac had planned to give the bed to a family who needed it, but the mattress has a big stain on it now. A stain that wasn’t there a couple of weeks ago. It looks like someone spilled a soda. I told Hannah that maybe kids have been going in there. We found a couple of windows unlocked, but Hannah and I made sure everything was locked when we left.”
“I go right by there most days. Do you want me to check on the place?”
Charlotte smiled. “That’s really nice of you to offer. But I can drive over there.”
“Ach, okay. I just thought you might not like going there, since Ethan . . .”
. . . hanged himself from a tree in the yard. “If it’s on your way, and if it’s no trouble, maybe you could just take a peek now and then.”
“Even after I repair the plumbing, I can go by a couple times a week if it doesn’t sell right away. I have the key you gave me.”
“Thank you very much. I’m trying to get caught up on my work, and I’m also trying to help out Hannah and Lena while I’m staying with them. And as for Annie, I really do think that she will be homesick after a few days, and she’ll be missing Jacob. She’s just scared and confused. And young.”
“I hope you’re right. And maybe mei daed will have some time to calm down.”
“I guess I should probably say good night.” Yawning, she stilled the flashlight. “You know what they say—everything will be well in the end. If it’s not well, it’s not the end.”
“I like that. Good night, Charlotte.”
After Charlotte hung up, she made her way to the counter and was unwrapping the bread when she heard footsteps shuffling across the living room toward the kitchen. She shined the flashlight in that direction.
“Jacob, what are you doing up?” It was only nine thirty, but usually everyone but Charlotte was sound asleep by now.
“I heard someone downstairs, and I figured it was you,” he said in a whisper as he tiptoed toward her. “I’ve been afraid to come downstairs, that I’ll wake your dog, but I need to talk to you, and I couldn’t wait any longer.”
She stopped fumbling with the loaf of bread and leaned against the counter, the flashlight shining near his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong. Everything, Charlotte. Can we please talk?”
Charlotte was unsure when she became a counselor for wayward teens, but she nodded, hoping she could stay true to what she’d told Daniel—that she wouldn’t influence Annie or Jacob.
Eleven
Jacob was pretty sure the weight of the world had landed on his shoulders, and the pressure was squashing him an inch at a time. Soon he’d be a puddle of mush on the floor if he didn’t get his head and heart aligned.
“Everyone is telling me I have to marry Annie,” he told Charlotte in a loud whisper. “I want to be a gut father. I really do. I want to be a gut husband too. But I feel . . . trapped.” He paused, but when Charlotte didn’t say anything, he said, “What should I do?”
“Jacob, I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you that Annie is having doubts about marrying you too.”
“I know.” Jacob scratched his forehead as he settled into a kitchen chair. “So it doesn’t seem like we should get married then. Right?”
“I think the two of you need to talk in person, but Annie doesn’t want to see or talk to you or her family yet.”
“I know. I’ve tried calling lots of times.”
“I think she will want to come home soon. When she does, the two of you can decide what’s best for both of you and your baby.”
“What if we want different things?”
“It is starting to sound like neither one of you wants to get married, but maybe things will look better in the morning.”
Jacob was pretty sure they wouldn’t. He was quiet while Charlotte buttered herself a piece of bread. She leaned against the counter and took a big bite, then yawned. Nothing was going to get decided tonight, so he slathered butter on a piece of bread for himself, and when they were both done, Jacob thanked her for listening and tiptoed across the living room. He’d hoped Charlotte would offer advice. Everyone wanted to offer an opinion, it seemed, but so far no one had told Jacob what he wanted to hear.
After he was back upstairs, he looked underneath the bed at his packed suitcase. It gave him comfort to be ready, even though he didn’t know where he’d go or what he’d do. But he’d forge ahead and leave if the walls got any tighter around him.
Despite his worries about Annie, Daniel started his day the same way he always did, if not a bit later than normal. He dressed, ate breakfast with his parents, fed the horses and cows, milked their only goat, and gathered eggs for Mamm. Normally his mother would take care of the goat and eggs, but the barnyard smells didn’t sit well with her now that she was with child, so Daniel had taken over a few things for her.
He was meeting Bill Morgan at the job site. They were building a small storage shed for an Englisch fellow. Daniel had worked for Bill long enough to know that Bill would be at least thirty minutes late. His Englisch employer couldn’t seem to get going without two donuts and a cup of coffee, and Bill never accounted for that stop when he set a time to start. Daniel decided to check on Charlotte’s house. He didn’t have time to do the repairs until later in the day, but he could at least check the floors. He pulled the key from his pocket but checked the doorknob first to make sure it was locked. It wasn’t.
Slowly, he entered the living room. “Hello?” He walked into the kitchen, the smell of fresh paint giving him an instant headache, like it had the last time he was here. When he touched the wood floors, they were damp, but much drier than before. He crossed through the living room and into the bedroom, which was empty except for the bed. He noticed the stain Charlotte mentioned. Perhaps the real estate agent had accidently left the door unlocked. Although it seemed odd that someone would have come last night or so early this morning. Hopefully Charlotte had called the real estate people and halted the showings until Daniel finished the repairs. He double-checked the windows and the back door, then locked the front door as he left. He slowed down as he crossed the yard, glancing at the massive oak tree. As he got back in the buggy, he thought about Annie, praying she would make good choices.
Friday morning, Annie woke up two hours before her aunt emerged from her bedroom. She made some toast and found an apple, and the minute Aunt Faye started rattling pans in the kitchen, Annie was quick to let her aunt know she’d already eaten.
Annie was grateful that the few days of throwing up hadn’t lasted. It must have been a stomach virus, and she was glad that she didn’t have to deal with all these life decisions and morning sickness too. But her aunt’s cooking and choice of ingredient combos might make anyone throw up. She thought about her mother again, knowing she should probably go home, if for no other reason than to be there for Mamm. It was her father keeping her away, but she needed to get her priorities straight.
“I should probably go home and marry Jacob,” she said when Aunt Faye walked into the living room toting a plate, then sat down on the couch and put it in her lap.
“Are you sure you don’t want some deviled oysters, dear?”
Annie shook her head fiercely. “Nee, danki though.” She wondered if Aunt Faye knew her prayer covering was lopsided. Annie decided not to say anything.
Aunt Faye held up an egg filled presumably with pickled oysters. Annie had never had oysters, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to try them for the first time pickled and for breakfast.
“I make these every week. There are some left that we can have with our pancakes tomorrow morning.” She shoveled an egg into her mouth as Annie struggled not to cringe. Home was looking better and better. Annie excused herself to make a phone call.
Friday morning, Daniel stood on the porch waiting for Annie to get home. He had already decided to act as a buffer between his father and his sister, even though their father had calmed down considerably. Right now everyone needed to focus on
Mamm, taking over some of her chores and making sure she didn’t do too much, as the doctor had instructed. He sat down in one of the rocking chairs just as the screen door opened and his father stepped outside.
“She should be home soon, ya?”
“I think so,” Daniel said, kicking the chair into motion. “She called an hour ago to say they were leaving soon.”
Daed waved an arm in the air. “All this talking on phones must stop. Before you know it, we will be using electricity and driving automobiles. We’d be one with the Englisch.” He glowered, shaking his head.
“Daed, Annie is strong willed, and she’s going to do what she wants to do. If you try to force her and Jacob into marriage, they might be rebellious. Maybe they will come to that conclusion on their own.”
His father stared across the yard, past the barn, and toward the acres of spring growth spreading in hues of yellow and green. “I have thought on this.”
Daniel braced himself.
“And you are right,” his father said. “I will give them a chance to make things right.”
Relief rushed through Daniel.
“But I don’t think that boy is right for Annie. He’s too wishy-washy.”
Daniel held back a grin. It wasn’t a phrase he’d ever heard his father use, although he agreed with Daed completely. Jacob didn’t know what he wanted. “I think we all just need to focus on Mamm. Everything else will work itself out.” One way or the other.
Daed took a seat in the other rocker, crossing an ankle over one knee. “I can’t tell how your mamm feels about having another baby. She keeps saying what a blessing it is, but sometimes I think she is trying to convince herself.”
His mother was probably looking forward to grandchildren—the kind of blessings you borrow and return, not another child to raise full-time. “I just hope there aren’t any problems, that she does everything the doctor says.”
