Cameron let out a low, husky growl and dismounted. He yanked a bedroll from behind his saddle, unfurled it, wrapped his arms around her and toppled her with him to the blanket.
“Now, where were we?”
“You were about to let me tear off your clothes,” she teased, unbuttoning his shirt and exposing his broad chest.
She twirled her fingers through the light dusting of curls, gratified to see his breathing change in response to her slightest caress. Beneath her white fingertips, his tanned flesh was sleek, hard and hot.
He didn’t give her much time to explore, drawing her lips back to his and tugging her shirt out of her slacks, unfastening her bra. “I’ve been wanting to do this since the day you took that mud bath and showered in the horse stall,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Didn’t you know what you were doing to me?”
She nuzzled the soft skin at his neck, liked the feel of his breath by her ear. “What?”
“You were naked and I wanted to peek.”
“Did you?” she murmured as she unbuckled his belt and shoved his jeans and boxers to his knees.
He kicked his pants the rest of the way off and removed her slacks and panties. “I should have. I’ve been wondering what you looked like with your clothes off.”
“And now you know.”
“I haven’t seen anything yet.” He pulled back and his gaze moved over her hungrily, his eyes kindled and smoked. “Wow!”
His hot look urged her on to a boldness she’d never known. She arched her back and flicked her hair over her shoulder, letting him feast his eyes on her breasts. She actually felt herself warming, swelling, under his gaze. She’d never felt so feminine. Never felt so eager to know a man. She wanted to learn him by feel, memorize the silky texture of hair over solid muscle, taste the salty musk that intoxicated her like a fine wine.
For a big man, he didn’t carry a spare inch of fat. Cameron was all lean muscle and broad bones.
She breathed in his scent, a heady combination of sweet grass, leather and spice. Her tongue lapped at the soft spot between his neck and collarbone, and he bucked under her, impatient for her weight.
Then his head rose and he captured the tip of one breast between his teeth. Hot, sizzling sensation seared her. Her head arced backward as she gasped in sheer pleasure.
She straddled him, but he held her captured in limbo with his teeth and tongue, creating exquisite sensations, like soft rain on a gentle breeze. He took her bottom in his big hands, spreading her legs wider until his fingers slipped between her legs.
“Darling, you caught me unprepared. I didn’t bring protection.”
A fleeting sadness washed over her, only to disappear in a moment. “It’s taken care of.” She reached behind her and found him thick and hard and waiting.
He groaned, hot and heavy and deliciously ready for her. “Have mercy, woman.”
She wanted to make him wait. She wanted to make him as wild as he’d made her. But she couldn’t stand the sensations beating at her, urging her onward, making her crazy with need for him. She shifted her weight. He slid inside her smoothly, and she took him with an ease that showed how ready she was for him.
“You feel too good,” she whispered, experimentally flexing a muscle.
“Hold still, sweetheart,” he ordered, sweat beading on his forehead.
She grinned her most wicked grin. “Not a chance, beefcake.” Rocking her hips, she gyrated, taking pleasure in how he was trying to hold back, liking the power she had over him.
Control ended all too soon. Cam’s hands slid to her bottom again, and he reversed their positions in the blink of an eye. Suddenly he was on top, driving into her. She wrapped her legs around him, welcoming each thrust, urging him deeper.
His hips lunged downward and she matched him move for move, wrapping her arms around his chest, her nails clawing at his back. And when he took her over the edge, he went with her, his shout letting her know his pleasure.
But Cameron wasn’t done. Although his heart pounded against her chest, although his flesh was slick with sweat, he gathered her close, holding her as if she were a fragile piece of glass. He fondled and caressed and massaged. At his tenderness, sweet emotions threatened to lift her into a state where she believed anything was possible.
She considered staying here, wrapped in Cam’s arms and letting their marriage become real. As he held her gently, she knew they’d just shared something precious, something that shouldn’t be wasted. Her bones felt like melted butter, and her thoughts drifted around the fact that staying with Cam might be her one chance to have a family.
She had to admit she felt remarkably content. And she sensed her cousin Sandra would have approved. But was that enough to start a life together? She’d always enjoyed her independent lifestyle, traveling, work. But she’d never before felt she had other options. After her terrible experience with Wyatt, she’d never again placed herself in a situation where she had to consider any other kind of life.
Alexa was surprised to find contentment here playing the pretend wife, sharing Cam’s children. But she had no idea if these feelings for Cam could last, and even thinking about how she felt scared her. She hadn’t wanted to become too attached to him and the twins, but she’d ended up making love to him, ended up adoring his children. And when the time came, leaving would just about break her heart.
Even if she wanted to stay for a while, she shouldn’t let the twins become too close to her or her to them. She’d miss Cam, too. Making love to him had been indescribably delicious, and she didn’t regret their actions, no matter how hard it would be to leave.
Cam smoothed back a stray lock of hair from her face. “I’d like you to stay with us, Alexa.”
Chapter Ten
“What do you mean?” Alexa asked, a soft hitch in her voice.
“We’re good together,” Cam said, stating the obvious. Ever since Alexa had arrived in his life, the sky had seemed bluer, steak had tasted better, music had sounded sweeter. He felt more alive, more alert than he had since he’d been married to Sandra. And though he’d always love his first wife, he loved Alexa differently.
“I hardly think one good romp in a cow pasture qualifies as a basis for me to stay, Cam.”
Beneath her tone, he heard a purr of satisfaction, but also a hint of unease. Just because she fit so well into his family didn’t mean she wanted to stay, he reminded himself. Although he might not have the twins if he lost them in tomorrow’s court case, he’d fight one battle at a time. Cam wouldn’t let her go without a fight—not after what they had just shared.
Already he wanted to taste her again, run his fingers through her silky hair, feel her nestled against his chest. She fit him physically, her long lean legs wrapping around him, her head tucked under his chin, her fingernails lightly raking his back. She matched him emotionally, their passions equally fervent. Lord, kissing her was like having peach cobbler drizzled with brown sugar and whipped cream.
He’d merely tapped the surface of the passion he’d sensed in her. A swirling maelstrom lay below the poised veneer she presented to the world, and he couldn’t wait to delve into those feelings again. But already, she was erecting walls.
He twirled a piece of her hair around his finger. “You like the boys.”
“What’s not to like?” Her voice remained light, but she tensed, her muscles taut across her shoulders and neck.
“And you must like me just a little.”
“I like lots of men.”
He bristled that she would place him in the same category as other men, implying there had been so many in her life. He knew better. Sandra had often worried that her cousin would never find the right man, because she wouldn’t let any man into her life. Nor did he believe Alexa could treat what they’d just experienced as a casual encounter. Couldn’t she feel the attraction between them? Surely it wasn’t just one-sided.
He tried to think rationally. She’d told him he needn’t use pr
otection. Did that mean Sandra had been wrong, that Alexa kept herself prepared for a serendipitous affair whenever she had an itch? He didn’t believe it. Alexa wasn’t the kind of woman to be satisfied with a one-night-stand or a short-term lover.
And he was guessing she’d used that last statement to put him off. But it wouldn’t work. He didn’t care about the men in her past. He only cared that there would be one man in her future—him.
“But you like me the best,” he concluded as his hand closed over her breast, which reacted immediately to his caress.
“Women don’t rate men on scales of one to ten,” Alexa told him, without pulling away. “But if you want me to tell you how good it was, I will.”
“I’m not looking for a compliment but a commitment.”
Alexa sat up and fumbled for her clothes, her face flushed. She avoided looking at him. “That wasn’t the deal.”
A moment ago, she’d been as relaxed as a cat snoozing in the sun. Now she needed clothes to put another barrier between them.
He let her dress but didn’t bother doing so himself. Instead, he rolled to his back and laced his fingers behind his head. “What’s wrong with changing our agreement? Making our marriage a real one?”
“You don’t want me.”
Of all the responses Alexa could have given him, that had to be the lamest. He damn well knew what he wanted. And he wanted her.
He rolled to his side and raised himself on his bent elbow. “Why don’t you think I want you?”
“Do you want more children? A sweet little brother or sister for Jason and Flynn?”
Cam watched her pale, saw her fingers clench, noted the tight cord of distress in her tone. Anguish flickered in her beautiful eyes, and he realized she was torn up inside. And suddenly it hit him.
Alexa couldn’t have children.
That was why she didn’t worry about protection. And from the tense way she was holding herself, he sensed his next words were crucial to their future.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead,” he said slowly.
Cam wouldn’t lie to Alexa, nor would he lie to himself. A big family had never been his dream, but he’d always just sort of assumed he would have more children someday.
As if she could read his thoughts, Alexa straightened her spine and fisted her hands on her hips. “I can’t have children, Cam. My ovaries are gone, so don’t start thinking about medical miracles. It won’t happen.”
She’d finished dressing and stood looking down at him. Cold, self-possessed, calm. And he wondered how much it cost her to act as if she didn’t care. Cam held out his hand to her. She hesitated for a moment and then let him draw her against his side.
She sat with her back to his chest, leaning against him, and, dry-eyed, stared off at the horizon. “Don’t feel pity for me. I lost the ovaries when I was sixteen, long before the age when most women decide they want kids. I simply changed my life into a direction that satisfied me. I’m happy, Cam.”
She didn’t sound happy. She sounded drained and emotionally spent. And all he could think about was wiping that wan look off her face.
“Jason and Flynn are such a handful it might not be fair to them to have other children. But adoption is always a possibility. I really don’t see what having children or not has to do with your agreeing to stay.”
“Because if you want more children, and you probably will, I won’t be able to give them to you. It’s hard to find babies to adopt. And could you feel the same way about them as your own—”
His voice hardened. “Don’t go there. Dad adopted Brent, and I loved him just as much as my other brothers. After his murder, I sure as hell didn’t console myself by saying he wasn’t my biological brother. I loved him just as much as Tyler and Chase and Rafe. The good thing about love is that it’s limitless. For the right people, there’s always enough to go around.”
“Even if you feel this way now, you may change your mind and grow to resent me. You can’t know the future. It’s just not that simple.”
“It is. I want you, Alexa. If we can’t have more children, I can live with that.”
Cam hoped she could hear the truth in his words. He wouldn’t have said them if they weren’t true. He had too much respect for Alexa to lie to her about an issue this important. A family of four would satisfy him just fine.
Her fingers twisted the plain gold wedding band around her finger as if it was a shackle. “I don’t want you to have to settle for less.”
“Alexa, I already have two healthy boys. What I need to complete my family is a woman I love. And that woman is you.”
He’d just laid his heart open to her, and she didn’t say a word. The silence sliced and diced his emotions raw, but he waited through the pain, knowing that however this discussion ended, he wouldn’t give up. He’d woo her, wine her and dine her and make love to her until she agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. Cameron Sutton considered his best quality to be sheer stubbornness. And no matter what Alexa said, no matter how much she denied it, she was going to like being married to him. He’d make sure of it.
She swiveled to face him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I don’t know what to say.”
He read the confusion in her gaze and kissed her gently on the lips. “You don’t have to decide now. Think about it. Think about having a family and living here with me and Jason and Flynn. We need you, Alexa. We want you.”
“I need time to think.”
“So I’ll give you a moment or two,” he teased lightly. He didn’t want her to think. He wanted her to feel. To let herself go where she hadn’t gone before.
One tear escaped down her cheek. “You’re very good with words.”
With his thumb, he smoothed away the tear, kissed her forehead, her nose, her mouth. He reached for her shirt, ducked his head under it and murmured, “That’s not all I’m good with.”
ALEXA REPAIRED her hair, tucked her shirt back in and reapplied lipstick, blush and mascara. However, she couldn’t make her feelings return to the way they were before she and Cameron had made love. During the ride back, Cameron didn’t try to sway her. In fact, he seemed content to let her think about what had happened between them and the future he’d dangled in front of her like a big juicy plum.
Alexa didn’t know what to think or how to decide. Indecision swamped her. How could she believe Cameron knew what he wanted? Clearly he thought he was telling her the truth about being content with just the twins, but suppose he changed his mind? He would come to resent her. Yet because he was such an honorable man, he’d never say anything, just let regrets eat away at him until their relationship corroded.
And even if Cameron meant what he’d said, Alexa didn’t know if she wanted what he was offering. She already loved the twins. But did she want to be their mother? It was a huge commitment and one she needed to consider carefully.
How much would she miss her work, and what would she replace it with? Alexa had no idea. Work had kept her too busy to develop hobbies to fall back on, and being a mother full-time wasn’t enough to keep her satisfied. She thrived on the chase of a rare piece of art, the satisfaction of acquiring great art for her clients.
And she didn’t know if she was falling in love with Cameron. She might be. She liked him. She respected him. And she’d never met a man who could turn her on with just a look. But was that love?
Confused, Alexa’s thoughts swirled as she tried to use logic to evaluate every angle. She told herself this might be her only chance to have a family—but was that what she wanted?
Alexa had a good life, a career many envied and friends in every major city in the world. To give that up to become a doctor’s wife and live on a ranch in Colorado was a drastic change. She needed to consider it carefully.
Cameron had said he would give her time, so the only pressure she had was what she put on herself. But indecision didn’t sit well with Alexa. She liked to know what she wanted and then work to achieve it. This uncertainty was akin to swim
ming in the ocean without a place to put your feet down and rest.
Cameron rode toward the stable, and Alexa’s horse needed little direction from her to follow. They unsaddled the horses and turned them over to a groom. Cam carried the tack to the equipment room, and Alexa walked behind him, breathing in the fresh scent of hay, manure and oats.
The tack room, neat as the Barringtons’ Boston living room, boasted an assortment of saddles, bridles and hackamores. Stirrups, bits of leather and horseshoes hung on pegs on one wall.
Since arriving on the ranch, Alexa had learned some interesting cowboy customs from Cameron. A hand’s saddle was always the best he could afford. A little stamping or carving on the leather added character. And with two-inch boot heels and jingling spurs, the cowboy’s yen for flash could often be seen when they went into town.
She could probably borrow a cowboy’s gun if she needed to, and for a good enough reason she could borrow his horse. But it was unthinkable to ask to borrow his saddle, since it was a part of him that was near sacred.
The Senator kept the horse that Cameron had lent her for guests. Same with the saddle. As Cameron hung the gear on pegs and slung the saddles over wooden benches, Alexa heard an odd zap. Like static electricity, only louder.
“Did you hear—”
Cam grabbed her and thrust her through the tack room’s back door. “Run!”
The urgency in his tone, the force of his hands propelling her body, hastened her footsteps. Her pulse skyrocketed at the danger he sensed, but she didn’t see anything wrong.
He didn’t wait to see whether she listened to him. Taking her hand, he yanked her out of the barn and half-pulled, half-carried her into the yard.
A sudden roar, then a blast of hot wind, sent Alexa tumbling to her knees, her stomach. Beneath her, the ground bucked.
Then Cam flattened her, his big body covering her, protecting her from flying debris. Smoke filled her nostrils and horses screamed in fear. Alexa turned her head toward the stable and saw flames leaping skyward.
Little Boys Blue Page 14
