Emilia nods ruefully.
+++
There are only a few more minutes to go before my first gig with ‘The Coldhearts’. I’m a little nervous, but much more than that I’m excited. I’m wearing my tight black jeans and black camisole, and Ina has loaned me a short, studded, black leather jacket that matches my studded ankle boots perfectly. I’ve left my jet-black hair loose. It’s gotten really long, reaching nearly down to my waist.
We’re backstage, and I watch my new, amazing band mates. There’s Ina, wearing tight-fitting black leather pants, and a sleeveless, vermillion leather vest, which reveals her black bra underneath. Her blonde hair is in a high ponytail. Of course there’s Bette, looking outrageously gorgeous. She’s wearing a tight black mini skirt, black thigh highs, and black studded ankle boots with heels that are much higher than mine. She’s also wearing a low-cut, black tank top that screams ‘Cunt Band’ in red. Her long, blonde hair is flowing over her shoulders.
And there’s Nellie, wearing skimpy black shorts, and a black tank top with ‘The Coldhearts’ logo in purple. Her slender legs are bare, and she wears black Doc Martens. She’s so pretty! And I absolutely adore her Alice Cullen hairstyle. She’s standing to my left, Bette to my right, and we build a circle together with Ina, our arms wrapped around the shoulders of the girls to our left and right. It’s the little ritual ‘The Coldhearts’ always carry out before their gigs. Only Bette has updated it for tonight as I’m told.
“Call us cunt band, we don’t care! Call us bitches we don’t mind! Black-hearted Coldhearts, Bitch Goddess Coldhearts, rock, rock, rock!”
We scream the words at the top of our voices, and then we high five each other. I briefly glance at Emilia who’s watching us. There’s a small smile playing around her lips, but I also see the concern in her eyes. She blows a kiss to me over the palm of her hand, and pursing my lips I return that kiss. Grabbing my bass guitar we make our way to the darkened stage, and while ‘The Coldhearts’ intro is booming from the speakers, the lights go up, and the crowd cheers and whistles.
I take one final look at Bette with her Flying-V guitar, who grins at me and winks reassuringly, then I turn to watch Nellie, who starts counting the beat, “one, two, three, four,” and then the thunder of our instruments shakes the stage. We play like we’ve been playing together for years. A shiver runs down my spine, and I let my long hair fly as we all bang our heads in unison. When we end this first song, ‘Dead End Girl’, the song that could have been about me, the crowd screams and roars. It’s absolutely fucking amazing!
Like on New Year’s Eve there are obviously a lot of girls who are into girls in the crowd, and they’re just a few feet from the stage where I’m standing. I can see them devouring us all with their eyes, me included.
After the third song Bette introduces me to the audience: “Now on bass, my Crazy Bitches, it’s Jet Black Jenny!”
The crowd explodes again, cheering and whistling. Of course there are also the usual idiots who scream at me, demanding a strip tease. But our fans, our Crazy Bitches as Bette likes to call them, scream at them, and a lot more loudly, and hugely outnumber them. And then they start chanting, “Jet Black Jenny, Jet Black Jenny!” And that only adds to my adrenaline high.
Time flies by and I’m surprised when we start to play our last song, our heavy metal version of ‘Drive’.
‘Whatever you want I’ll give it to you, but you’re gonna have to ask me…’
Bette sings in a husky voice, standing in the warm, red spotlight, her legs apart. The erotic tension is palpable. I think everyone in the crowd is devouring her with their eyes. She really becomes a goddess on stage. And everyone watching can see that.
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you all night…’
Even though it’s hot like in a sauna onstage, I shudder. I glance to my right where Emilia is standing, hidden from view for the audience, and she seems to be as enthralled by Bette’s performance like everyone else.
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you all night…’
I turn to Nellie, and our glances meet, a smile on her rosy lips. And for a brief moment my heart seems to stop. I quickly look away to my left, at Ina and Bette. The two of them are singing to one another now, grinning at one another, eyes wild, thrusting their hips at one another as they play. I can’t help staring at them, and I wonder is that what they’re going to be doing to each other tonight?
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you all night…’
As our song is nearly finished, a cute busty girl in the front row lifts up her shirt and flashes her bare breasts at Bette! She grins like a hungry tigress, and beckons to the girl, whose friends help her up onto the stage. Bette wraps her arms around her, and kisses her passionately, cupping her ass. The crowd’s screams become even louder than before. And while we keep on playing, Bette kisses that girl for what feels like a long time, and when Bette’s done kissing the girl, she looks dazed, as if Bette had just given her an orgasm.
As if nothing had happened Bette repeats the chorus one more time…
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you all night…’
And then the song ends, and there’s a moment of absolute silence, before all hell breaks loose. The audience goes absolutely crazy, whistling and shrieking and roaring! Some of the girls in the front row are actually crying!
Feeling a little dazed I look out at the crowd, and I recognize Martin and Maria, Marlon and Sophie, and also Andrea. It warms my heart to see them here, and I throw blown kisses in their direction. And then we all bow to the audience, before we disappear behind the curtains. Emilia is waiting for me, her eyes gleaming. She throws her arms around me and kisses me.
“Oh Jenny, that was fantastic,” she says. “I wouldn’t have thought it would be so awesome. Amazing.”
Bette comes over to us, a bottle of water in hand. “Now, what do you think, Jenny, wasn’t that fucking amazing?”
I down half the bottle. “It was,” I answer, hardly able to speak.
“And what do you think, Emilia? Isn’t your girlfriend absolutely fantastic?”
Emi sighs. “She was absolutely incredible tonight!” She shakes her head in wonder. “The whole band was fantastic.”
Almost since we left the stage the crowd has been chanting “Coldhearts, Coldhearts!”
“We’d better go out there again,” Bette says with a smirk, as the chanting has gotten louder and louder.
We go back on stage to play an encore. We play two more songs. The final one is another cover song, a hard rock version of ‘Love Potion Number 9’.
‘I told her I was a flop with chicks…’
There’s a smirk on Bette’s face when she sings that opening line. She’s obviously not a flop with chicks, especially not with the chicks in the audience.
‘I didn’t know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight…’
Like before, Bette knows how to make it a very sexy song. And then it’s over. My very first gig with The Coldhearts! Together we bow to the audience. And then we wave, and blow kisses to our Crazy Bitches, some of who blow kisses back to us, before we finally go backstage. I’m totally covered in sweat, and I’m exhausted, but I’m so happy. I gulp down the rest of my bottle of water, and Bette calls us together to form a circle again.
“Call us cunt band, we don’t care! Call us bitches we don’t mind! Black-hearted Coldhearts, Bitch Goddess Coldhearts, rock, rock, rock!”
We high five each other. “Ladies, that was absolutely, fucking awesome,” Ina says. “That was our best performance ever!” She smiles at me. “And Jenny you were absolutely fucking amazing!”
“Yes, Jenny,” Nellie adds. “You’re one of us, truly.”
She folds me into her arms, and kisses my sweaty cheeks. And I return her kisses, before breaking away from her. It feels too good. I’m aware Emilia is watching us, but she doesn’t seem to mind Nellie and I kissing one another…at least not on the cheeks.
And then Ina announces, “Ladies, it’s time
to celebrate. The night is still young. We’re having a party at our place. You two coming?” Ina asks, looking at Emilia and me.
“Please say yes,” Nellie adds.
“Well, Jenny, now that you’re one of ‘The Coldhearts’ I think we need to celebrate with them,” Emilia says with a smile.
“Yay, wonderful!” I yell. I return Emilia’s smile and kiss her tenderly.
“You can bring your friends, too,” Ina says.
I look at Emilia. “Where are Martin and the rest of the gang?”
“Same place they were,” Emilia replies. “I’m sure they won’t have left yet. I’ll go and look for them.”
“And I go looking for a couple of partiers, too,” Ina says with a smirk. “Bette certainly has her share already.”
“What about you, Nell?” I ask the beautiful drummer.
“Me? I had my share of groupies. I’m not interested in that kind of casual sex anymore. Currently I have two online girlfriends who I love dearly. I used to see one of them in real life, but she moved away. Too far away for us to see one another more than once in a great while.”
For a long moment we are staring at one another, and there’s this tingling in the lower regions of my body again.
“You know, I believe it’s possible to have more than one romantic relationship at the same time,” Nellie adds, still looking at me.
Before I even know what to say to that, Emilia comes back with Martin and Maria in her wake.
“Hey Blackie, that was amazing,” Martin cries, even before he has closed the distance between us. He takes me into a bear hug. “I’d never have thought I’d say that, but you perfectly fit in with ‘The Coldhearts’.”
“Absolutely,” Maria adds, giving me a hug.
“Now you hear it from your very own friends,” Nellie says triumphantly.
“Thank you so much. Where’s the rest of the gang?”
“Marlon, Sophie, and Andrea say ‘hi’ to you, but they don’t want to join the after show party.”
“I’m glad you’re coming, Martin and Maria, thank you.”
The backstage area begins to fill with all sorts of people, and within moments Bette and Ina are surrounded by a bunch of fan girls. There’s also what they call our road crew, Bette’s brother Ralf and some of his friends, who help us transport and set up the equipment.
A flock of squealing teenage-girls rushes in. Standing frozen to the spot for a moment, and seeing Bette and Ina already among their groupies, the girls come at us. Within a second Nellie, Emilia, and I are at the center of a circle of screaming girls.
“Oh Jenny, you’re so awesome, you’re a goddess,” a girl with pink hair screams.
“Jenny, you’re a perfect fit for ‘The Coldhearts’,” another girl with piercings and an undercut says. “You’re so much prettier than Caro ever was.”
I’m so totally not accustomed to that kind of attention, I stand helplessly among this group of fan-girls. Nellie can’t help me either, since she also gets a lot of attention.
“Enough! Leave Jenny alone now,” Emilia suddenly says, and I’m surprised to hear her teacher’s voice. I can imagine what she’ll be like in class once she’s become a high school teacher.
“Who the hell are you?” The butch girl says.
“Can’t you see Jenny needs a moment to breathe after her fantastic performance?” Emilia continues. “Why don’t you just leave her alone?”
“Ohhhh, you’re right,” the pink-haired girl says, “I’m so sorry, I hadn’t thought about that. I was just too thrilled to see Jenny here.”
After that the girls become a little quieter, only the butch girl doesn’t give in that easily. “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?” She demands again, challenging Emilia.
“If you must know, I’m Jenny’s girlfriend, and you’d better mind your language, darling,” Emilia retorts. “Now, leave us in peace.”
Before the butch girl can say anything in return, Nellie grabs her arm. “Let it be, Jana. Jenny isn’t used to that kind of attention. Leave her in peace.”
Jana finally seems to understand. “Okay, Nellie. I’m so sorry, Jenny. Maybe next time?” She turns around and joins the groupies around Bette and Ina.
Nellie shrugs her shoulders. “Jana is a die-hard fan. She comes to nearly all our concerts. She’s a good girl, but sometimes she can be a bit… scary,” Nellie says to Emilia and me.
“I’d rather leave now,” I say.
“Okay, let’s go,” Nellie says, grabbing my arm.
CHAPTER 7 – AFTER SHOW PARTY
I know I must be dreaming again. It’s a strange feeling to know you’re dreaming while you’re dreaming, but it feels so real.
Sherinia! Sherinia is in my dream! I haven’t dreamed about her for months. Things between the two of us ended for good last year. But now I see her, alluring as ever. She’s on stage with me like she used to be, standing to my left, her hands clutching the microphone stand. She holds the audience spellbound with her amazing voice and her equally amazing beauty, and she holds me spellbound, too.
‘I didn’t know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight…’
Wait! That’s absolutely not Sherinia’s line. Oh God, I’m so confused. Are we still playing ‘Love Potion No 9’, or not? I turn my head to look at the drummer. But it’s not that asshole Robin who’s sitting behind the drum kit; it’s a pretty girl with dark-brown hair done in an adorable Alice Cullen style. Our glances meet, and my insides become liquid. How can I be so attracted to the band’s drummer, when my girlfriend is the band’s singer? But wait! Emilia is the band’s singer, right? And she’s my girlfriend.
I desperately try to stay in tune and play the bass lines required for this song, but my fingers play a different song.
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you all night…’
Just when I thought it wasn’t possible for me to be more confused, I look and see a gorgeous blonde holding a Flying-V guitar while she growls and purrs into the microphone. Her voice makes me shiver and sweat, and my hips rock and buck as I play…
‘Your head is bent back, your back is arched…’
I look at the drummer again. It’s still Nellie, thank God, and she looks back at me, and she fucks me with her eyes, and I’m getting wet, so wet…
‘I’ll hold you up and drive you, baby, till you feel the daylight…’
And now my head is bent back, and my body is arched... But I’m still on stage? Yes, I am, and the girl behind the drums wants me. I can see it the way she looks at me. I see it in her dark eyes that make me think of molten chocolate. And I want her too! My heart beats faster every time I look at her. And I think this can’t be happening, this is just a dream. I have to wake up! Wake up, Jenny!
And suddenly I do wake up! And I immediately realize I’m in someone else’s bed. I open my eyes slowly, not sure if I’ll discover that all or part of my dream really happened, and I find myself staring at the back of a sleeping woman. Her long, red hair covers her white t-shirt, and I realize my hips are pressing against her firm tight butt. Thank God, it’s Emilia. A sigh of relief escapes me.
But then I realize there’s someone else in bed with us. I feel her body behind me. I know it’s a female body, because her breasts are pressed against my back. Her arm is around my waist. I’m sandwiched between Emilia and another girl! Oh my God, what did I do last night? I wasn’t that drunk, was I? I slowly turn my head, squinting over my shoulder. And why does my heart skip a beat? It’s just Nellie! But then my body seems to do weird things whenever she’s around. She’s still fast asleep, her breathing soft and regular. She’s wearing a black t-shirt. Oh Jenny, wait! I perform a quick check under the comforter, and to my relief I see I’m still wearing my black t-shirt and I still have my panties on. And given the fact that both, Emilia and Nellie, still have their t-shirts and panties on, I decide nothing much can really have happened. And then slowly, but steadily my memory kicks in.
My first gig with �
��The Coldhearts’! All the sexual tension while we were playing ‘Drive’. The Crazy Bitches backstage. And then the party after the show.
My band mates and I were all high on adrenaline after our terrific gig, and we were all intent on partying hard. So were the dozen or so girls Bette and Ina invited. And Emilia and my old friend Martin and his girlfriend Maria, seemed to be willing to get into the spirit of things, too. A bit later Bette’s brother Ralf and the rest of his road crew joined the party. There was music loud enough to shake the floor, and there was dancing, and there was lots of alcohol.
I start by having a beer or two, and then I get out on the makeshift dance floor in the living room, and I’m immediately surrounded by four or five girls, all of them laughing exuberantly. Then I take a break, and have a couple of more beers, and I go back out and dance with Bette and the Crazy Bitches surrounding her. I start to wonder where Emilia is, but then I see her dancing with Ralf and another group of girls. There are so many girls here! Where did they all come from?
I’m still high on adrenaline, and I feel better than I have in a long time. When Ina appears with a tray full of shot glasses, I only hesitate for a brief moment, before I grab one of the shots. Nellie appears next to me, and she takes a glass herself, before we clink glasses, and gulp down the clear liquor. Nellie takes my arm, and leads me back out to the dance floor. We dance together and I can’t keep my eyes from her. She’s still wearing the same clothes as she did during our gig, but she’s changed her Doc Martens for ankle boots that are easier to dance in. I don’t know if it’s all the alcohol or something else, but I feel more powerfully drawn to her than ever.
And then I take another break, and I look around for Emilia. I’m surprised she’s dancing with Ina, but then she seems to feel me staring at her, and she looks up and grins at me. I know she’s been watching me. That makes sense to me. She’s my girlfriend after all, and she loves me. And I love her. And yet I’m falling in love with Nellie, too. This is so confusing, and I don’t want to think about it, at least not now.
Jennifer's Triad Page 9
