Finn, it turned out, knew something of memory loss.
And now Ben knew he wasn’t married. He didn’t have to worry about having a wife or kids frantic for him back home. The ring. It’s Mom’s. Sara has Dad’s.
But his sister. He could remember her words when he shipped out. “You’ll come home, right?” He promised he’d return. He couldn’t leave her alone. He had to get back. Somehow.
Ben groaned as he dropped his wrist over his eyes. “My head is killing me again.”
“I brought water for tea,” Raine announced from the doorway, her voice soft.
Ben lifted his arm and twisted his head to watch her. Today mustn’t have been a practice day, as she wore an ankle-length dress of swirled blues and greens accented with silver. A delicate bracelet dangled from her toned copper wrist. Her smile held a hint of compassion.
But was she nicer because he had been so out of it, or because she was truly warming up to him?
She set the metal tray on the table by Ben’s couch with a quiet clink, then she looked up at her grandfather. “Same as before?”
“Yes, please,” Finn replied. “And the same dose as before, too.” He spoke to Ben, “We’ll continue with the same until your headaches ease up.”
Ben pulled himself to sit up on the couch with a groan. He squeezed his eyes shut against the light that suddenly seemed too bright for the room. “Sounds great.”
Warm fingers wrapped around his as Raine placed the teacup in his hands. She didn’t remove her supporting pressure until he gripped the mug securely himself.
“I added a bit of honey this time,” Raine said when he opened his eyes. “I know how the medicine can be bitter.”
Ben’s tongue twisted as the taste of the underlying herbs hit it, but the honey she added did seem to help mask the worst of the flavor. “Thanks.”
Finn stood and brushed his hands against the knees of his pants. “I leave you in her care for now, if you don’t mind.” Humor sparkled in his eyes, and Ben purposefully looked away from the woman sitting next to him. “I found something interesting in the Doctor’s notes that Slate left for me, and I need to research it further.”
“We’ll be fine,” Raine replied with a sunny smile at her grandfather. “Madame Stohner said dinner will be ready soon, so I’ll follow you home shortly.”
Ben stared at his hands after Finn left. He really couldn’t deny that Raine had warmed up to him over the last two days, and he didn’t want to ruin their tentative friendship by saying something wrong.
“You seem to be improving,” Raine observed after a spell of silence.
Ben nodded and swallowed. “I am. Better. Much better. Yes.” He sighed and closed his eyes again, frustrated. What was it about this woman that made him so tongue-tied now? He’d shamelessly flirted with her the first time he saw her. Somehow insulted her the second time. And now that his memory was returning, he could barely speak to her in coherent sentences or look her in the eye.
Raine leaned back into the golden couch and carefully pulled a leg up under her skirt to rest her chin on her knee. She smoothed the draped fabric as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “You’ve changed,” she said. “Is it because of your memories?”
Ben shrugged halfheartedly. “I suppose.”
Raine dropped her leg and twisted on the couch to fully face him. Her black eyes glittered as she frowned at him. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but do you want to talk about it?”
He snorted and raised a hand to belay the affront building in her face. “I’m sorry. But considering how I’ve managed to muck up the last two conversations I’ve had with you, I doubt I could.”
She said nothing, and Ben hastened to explain. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it. I just don’t know how.” He set the empty porcelain cup on the tray and sank back against the couch. He stared at his hands and rubbed his fingers together, remembering the gritty feel of dust on them. “It’s weird. The memories, I mean. Some of them make sense. Some of them don’t, and it feels as if I’m missing a key that explains what it all means. Everything seems so different, and it almost feels like I’ve gone crazy. Like, what I’m remembering has to be some fever dream, or what I’m experiencing now is a dream.”
Raine pressed her lips together as she absorbed his words. She nodded finally, and cleaned up the small tray before standing. She looked down at him, effortlessly balancing the platter on one hand. “I think it was very wise of your captain to leave you here in Papa’s care.”
“Probably.” Ben wrinkled his brow. “I feel like there’s something I was supposed to warn the crew about—something bad—and it’s driving me crazy.”
“Do you remember anything of Jaxton’s death yet?”
“Just blood and screaming.” Ben shook his head with a groan. “Last thing I really remember is not being able to move, then my mind goes blank, with just hazy memory of sensation and sound.”
Raine propped her fist on her hip and offered a gentle half smile. “You’ll remember soon enough. Don’t worry.”
“Right.” Ben allowed himself to slouch over on the couch, his legs claiming where she’d sat just moments before. He dropped his hand over his eyes again, blocking out her sympathetic eyes and the still-too-bright room. “Hopefully I’ll start remembering without it being triggered by someone’s death this time.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Blade
Blade paced on the deck of his airship, ignoring the wind that whipped the tail of his hair to and fro. He looked back at his helmsman and the man nodded fervently.
“We’re still following them, sir.” The freckled man motioned to his glass-encased map and shining bronze compass. “They’re on a direct course to High Doldra. I’d wager that’s their destination.”
The speck on the horizon was almost impossible to see without his monocle, but he was content to trust Tanin for now. Maybe Slate believed he could do something with the barrier there. Again. Blade snorted.
For now, there was nothing else to do while they waited to catch up to the mighty Slate Stohner’s airship. And once they caught up…
Blade breathed deeply and loosened his fingers from their grip on his sword handle. If only he hadn’t dispatched Jaxton as quickly as he had. Maybe then his bloodlust would be satiated. But no, he’d had to kill that vile excuse for a doctor quickly, and now he regretted that mercifully fast ending.
Before he boarded Slate’s airship to scout, he’d spent the morning finding more mercenaries to fill out his crew. The few men under Blade’s leadership from Kadar’s group grumbled and complained that he had gone aboard the Sapphire without them, but that wasn’t Blade’s problem. Coupled with the chaos that unfolded after Jaxton’s body was found—and the warning that Blade had given the young man in Jaxton’s clutches—Blade had declared that they wait. And that time of waiting drew near the end.
Soon, very soon, they’d have what they wanted, and Blade would have the revenge he craved. And, as luck would have it, it would be where it all began. In Doldra.
Chapter Forty-Four
Jade
So that’s why it’s been making that sound lately, Jade thought as she stared up under the dash of the skiff she hid in. She reached up into the mess of wires and tugged on the loose coil. I’ll have to fix that later.
Everyone onboard the Sapphire carried on through their traveling with a grim, dolorous air. Despite the guys’ best efforts to clean the med-room, they ended up opening the tiny outside window and locking the door, as the overpowering stench of the blood-soaked wood worsened with the heat of each day. They would need to gut and replace the room as soon as possible. In the meantime, all the medical supplies had been relocated to the mess, which forced everyone to eat meals on the main deck.
Eating outside wasn’t a problem to Jade, but the reason for the necessity of it was. Losing Doctor Taylor in such a brutal fashion hurt. And having to leave Ben behind to recuperate from his trauma only worsened the
ache.
Her heart still stung with betrayal. Her whole family. Zak. How could they not tell her? How could they sit on that secret for so long, lying to her face? Jade swiped angrily at a tear that trickled from her eye. Even if what they said was true, and her parents were Brandon and Sapphire Doldras, it didn’t matter. Not really. Slate and Samantha were the ones who’d raised her, encouraged her, corrected her, and loved on her. They were her parents—even if she wanted to throttle them both for keeping such a secret.
“I found you.” Krista peered over the edge of the skiff. “You’re done hiding, missy.” Krista swung her legs over the edge and clambered onto the bench seat, wiggling onto her side to look down at Jade, who was wedged in the footwell. “It’s time you vent all the steam you’ve got stored up in that head of yours. Something is up, and you can’t deny it anymore.”
Jade licked her lips and looked away, shaking her head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” Krista sighed. “Whatever is going on is eating you alive. And I know it isn’t just…Jaxton.” Krista’s voice dropped, and her fingers skimmed over Jade’s hair. “Zak has been brooding worse than when Weston kissed you, your father and aunt can barely eat, and I swear you’ve lost at least five pounds. What’s going on?”
Void take the persistence that Krista had. Jade brushed away another tear and squirmed out of the cramped spot to sit next to her friend. “Nothing. Everything.” Jade dropped her head to Krista’s shoulder and groaned. “I’m so confused.”
Krista offered a coy smile. “Good news is that Briar has Zak up in the galley, so I know we won’t be disturbed.”
Jade’s stomach shuddered. “He’s not letting Zak spice the food tonight, is he?”
“Whales, no!” Krista laughed. “Zak’s helping with the dishes. That’s all. Briar knows better than to let Zak do anything with food that the rest of us will be eating.”
“Oh, good.” Jade settled back against the hard cushion and perched her boots on the dash. She tapped the pointed toes together, fidgeting. “Slate’s not my father.”
A full three heartbeats passed before Krista exploded. “What? What do you mean? Vent everything. Now.”
Once Jade started, she couldn’t stop. Words tumbling over themselves, Jade shared the conversation between her and Slate and Garnet, then her encounter with Zak. She paused and lifted her fingers to her lips that tingled at the memory. “He kissed me.”
Krista whooped. “It’s about time!”
Jade shook her head, and another tear fell. “He kept saying that it wasn’t his place.” She wrapped a loose thread from the knee of her pant leg around her finger. “He apologized for kissing me. He said that even if we want to be together, we can’t.”
“Why? Because you’re a princess?” Krista’s eyes blazed. “The Void with that! I know that there are heaps of responsibilities if you take on the crown, but you haven’t been raised in the palace. You’re a mechanic. You belong here. On the Sapphire.” Krista paused, and her eyes widened. “Oh, that’s awkward. The ship is named after your mother, isn’t it?”
“My mother is Samantha!” Jade snapped. She buried her face in her hands. “Maybe I’ll come to think of Sapphire as my mother someday, but she wasn’t the one who fought for me to be allowed to wear mechanic pants, showed me how to make flower crowns, or taught me what it means to be a woman.”
“Fair enough,” Krista murmured. She pulled a strand of her black hair out, and then let go, letting it bounce by her face. Her fingers roamed the hem of her azure shirt. “Have you talked to Zak since then?”
“No,” Jade moaned. “I can’t. What am I going to say?”
“That as his princess, you order him to set aside all perceived proprietary and treat you as you want.” Krista replied promptly. She shook her head with a small frown. “Honestly, I don’t know. But you need to talk to him before we get to Doldra.”
Jade glared at the control board of the skiff and tucked her hands under her legs. “I know. But it’s not like I’ll be going to the citadel with them or anything. I can talk to Zak while we wait for everyone to get back. I don’t have to be on speaking terms with him right now.”
Krista shifted, and the skiff rocked with her movement. “And if something bad happens? What if Zak has to deal with Mister Tight Gears and it puts him in an even worse funk? Do you want to risk not having things cleared between you two, and the tensions being even higher?” Krista played with a loose curl as she speculated. “You should also talk with your father.” She paused and frowned. “Your uncle. Captain Slate. What are you going to call him now, anyway?”
“Father.” Jade sighed as her eyes traced the scratched coloration of the skiff. “It’s all he’s been to me, and I’m not changing that now.”
Krista nodded slowly. “Well, you should talk to him, too.” She cocked her head. “How does this affect our plans?”
“I don’t know.” Jade moaned. She pulled her legs up and set her chin on her knee. “I want to get away from here even more now.” Her lips tingled, and she brushed them against her wrist as heat rose in her cheeks. “I…I also want to stay and try to convince Zak that me being a princess means nothing. And I want to see Father succeed with the keystone.”
“Sounds like we have our plan then,” Krista replied easily. She waved her hand about airily. “First, we’ll go to Doldra as planned, wait for Slate to finish his mission there. If you’ve successfully convinced Zak that you’re not some princess wrapped in gauze, we’ll stay longer. Otherwise we’ll bail in Doldra and look for another airship.” She shrugged. “Simple.”
“Hm.” Jade mulled on Krista’s words for a few minutes. “I guess that works.”
“But,” Krista held out a finger and waggled it by Jade’s face. “This means you need to talk to Zak sooner than Doldra. And not just about your princessness. To use Briar’s word, communicate. And make sure that things are good between you and your father. Especially if we do end up leaving.”
Jade fell silent. After all that had happened recently, her father would likely drink himself sick if she left. But what choice did she have now? She couldn’t stay and become a princess.
“He’s going to hate me for leaving.”
“Who? Zak? Your father?” Krista wrapped an arm around Jade and tugged her over for a hug. “No, they won’t. They may be mad or hurt, but they’ll get over it. They both love you, each in their own way. And they’ll only be perturbed if we leave. Who knows? Maybe Zak will have a change of heart, and your father will lighten up.”
Jade snorted. “Unlikely.”
Krista bobbed her head side to side with a crooked grin. “Stranger things have happened.” She shifted and rubbed her thumb over a stain on the dash. “I’m just worried something’s going to go wrong once we go to fix the keystone.”
“What could go wrong?” Jade raised her eyebrows, skeptical. “All they’re going to do is go in and stabilize the barrier. We even have Lord Everett’s approval and everything.”
Krista shot her an odd look. “I don’t know if you’ve had a sudden change of heart or something, but I don’t trust Lord Everett.”
Jade fell silent as she recalled Everett watching Zak’s flogging, satisfaction in his cold eyes. “Good point.”
“Of course it is,” Krista smirked. “I made it, didn’t I?”
Jade’s heart lifted at Krista’s snark. What would she do without Krista? She was as close as a sister—a sassy, crazy, spunky sister, who gave solid advice when needed, and knew how to push all Jade’s buttons for good or bad. Jade nudged her friend with a laugh. “Are you ready to be back in Doldra, regardless?”
Krista wrapped her bare arms around her legs with a smile. “As ready as can be. It’ll be good to get off this ship for a few days.”
Her words reminded Jade of a fear that had been lurking since they left Lucrum. “What if whoever killed Jaxton is following us? What if he kills again?”
“Zak won’t let anything happen to you.”
; The image of Zak’s bloody back melded with the memory of Jaxton’s hacked corpse, and Jade choked on the bile in her throat. “What if he gets Zak? Or you? Or Briar?” She pressed her hands against her head, pushing her red hair flat. “What if he prevents us from fixing the keystone? What if he wants to take it down or something? What if—”
Krista pressed a hand against Jade’s mouth and shook her head, eyes fierce. “No more what ifs. We don’t know the future, and you worrying about it isn’t going to help anything. You’ll make yourself sick.”
“I already can’t sleep,” Jade confessed. “Every time I close my eyes, I see Jaxton and blood and Ben.”
Concern clouded Krista’s brown eyes. “Talk to Zak. He’s lived through bad stuff, and he sleeps.” She dipped her head to the side and frowned, studying Jade. “I’m sure he can help you.”
Jade shot her friend a mild glare. “You just want me to talk to Zak.”
Krista shrugged. “Guilty as charged. It’s for the betterment of both of you. Seriously.” She rested a hand on Jade’s shoulder. “And being a princess? That’s up to you. They can’t force you to be someone you don’t want to be.”
Jade hugged Krista. “Thanks.” She scrubbed her face with her sleeve. “What do you say we go see what trouble Zak has caused in the galley?”
“Sounds like a great start.” Krista grinned and climbed out of the skiff, then bowed dramatically. “After you, your mechanic-ness.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Ben
Blood sprayed in time with Laurent’s pulse despite the pressure Ben had on his friend’s leg. Ben pressed down with one hand and gripped Laurent’s chin with the other, leaving bloody streaks across Laurent’s rapidly paling face. “Don’t close your eyes, soldier. You stay with me, you hear? You can’t get married if you’re sleeping on the job.”
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