by Neil Strauss
Bull
Climb out of reach, or remove an item of your clothing and wave or throw it. Bulls charge toward motion, not color.
Tick
Do not try to burn a tick on your skin. Take tweezers, grasp its body, and pull it out. Contrary to the myth, the head will not get stuck. Cover the area with disinfectant, and save the tick if possible in case symptoms develop. Look for a bull’s eye pattern at the bite site, as well as a rash, fever, or painful joint swelling, three days after the bite, all of which can indicate Lyme disease.
Jellyfish or Manowar
While peeing on the sting can sometimes work to inactivate the poison, the more reliable and socially acceptable method is using rubbing alcohol or vinegar. Be careful not to rub the area, which will activate the stingers. Remove the tentacles afterward by scraping them out. (a razor works for this) Adding talcum powder or baking soda, mixed with sea water, will help.
Killer Bees
Don’t swat at them. Not only are they attracted to movement, but if you kill one bee, it actually attracts more. Instead, run inside a shelter or, if there’s nowhere safe nearby, dash through bushes or very high grass while protecting your eyes, nose, and mouth. Jumping into a lake won’t help: You may be safe when you go underwater, but they will wait for you to surface and resume the attack.
Aliens
Unlike with jellyfish, urinating on aliens is an effective form of defense. If you live in an area prone to alien abductions, consider wearing steel-reinforced underpants to prevent anal probes. Many species will explode after drinking carbonated beverages, such as Coca-Cola.
Other
Wear a tinfoil hat. This will protect you from everything else.
THE BUG-OUT BAG
One of my favorite bug-out bags I saw while writing this book belonged Jason Hadley, from the Survivalist Boards. Below are the contents of his bag, divided according to the items in each of the bag’s zipper pockets, detachable pockets, straps, and belts. In addition to his supplies, which contain a mix of necessities and relative luxuries, I added and modified a few items. Make sure you keep a record of expiration dates for food, medicine, and other supplies so you can rotate in replacements when needed.
THE BAG
I use a customizable army A.L.I.C.E. Pack, as does Hadley. However, one Emergency reader suggests, "If you really want to go incognito, get a hiking BOB in a non-military color; sew on a Greenpeace, PETA, or Canadian flag patch or two; and you are now transformed from a wolf to a sheep."
Food Bag
Mess Kit
3 self-packed bricks of food, each with two MREs, and assorted jerky and candy bars
Foil-packed tuna and spam
Protein and energy bars
Ziploc bag with various drink mixes and flavoring: juice, punch, Vitamin C, and coffee—plus onion soup mixes to spice up gamey wild-caught animals
Leftover space is filed with assortment of cold brew ice tea bags, sugar packets, Splenda, fast food condiments (ketchup, mustard, honey, taco sauce, salt, pepper, hot sauce), bouillon cubes (chicken and vegetable), and about five feet of aluminum foil folded into a square
Hygiene bag
Feminine bag with lipstick, nail care kit, lotion, pumice stone (survival essentials for Jason’s girlfriend)
60 multi-vitamins
100 tablets of Vitamin C
Insect repellant
Sunblock
Campsuds
Gold Bond Body Powder
Anti-bacterial wipes
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Bar of soap
Hand sanitizer
Q-tips
Deodorant
Disposable razors
Compressed beach towel
Compressed hand towel
Camping utensil set
3 pairs of socks
3 pairs of underwear
1 pair of wool socks
1 set of thermal long underwear
Tool bag
Folding saw
Multi-head screwdriver
Pliers
Electrical tape
Nails
Needle-nosed pliers
Crescent wrench
Multi-tool
US Army Manual FM 21-75: Combat Skills of the Soldier
Combination field shovel and pick
Combination hammer, hatchet, and pry bar
Utility pouch
Sewing kit
Vegetable seeds
Emergency whistle
Waterproof matches
Fire paste
50-foot paracord
Cable ties
AA and AAA batteries
Magnesium block firestarter
Snare wire (also for use as trip wire)
Leftover space filled with jute twine
Top storage pocket
Two-man tent strapped to top
Emergency bivvy bag
U.S. Army Manual FM-21-76: Survival
Books: A Field Guide to Edible Wild Plants, A Field Guide to Medicinal Plants, Ditch Medicine, and pages from The Encyclopedia of Country Living
Signal mirror
Signal flares
Compass
Whet stone
Maps
Barter pocket (for purchasing and trading items)
Coffee
80 Tampons (OB for increased carry)
Lighters
Rolling tobacco
Toilet paper
2 bottles water purification tablets
Anti-diarrhea tablets
Gold and silver coins
$200 in small bills
Miscellaneous pocket I
Trash bags
Candles
Deck of cards
Ziploc bags
Space blanket
Hat
Bandana
Flashlight and radio (solar- and crank-powered)
Small LED flashlight
Miscellaneous pocket II
2 rain ponchos
Toilet paper
250 ml Clorox bleach (purifies 40-60 gallons)
Coffee filters (for water filtration)
6 Power Bars
Notepad
Pens
Intruder detection kit
Copies of passport, drivers license, and other personal documents
Shoulder Strap Pouches
Gun cleaning kit
Survival knife
Binoculars
12 gauge shotgun shell holder and extra rounds
Ham radio
Emergency first-response belt
Dust masks
Eye goggles
Marking chalk
Gas shut-off tool
Head lamp
2 canteens, each with water purification tablet bottle
First aid kit (Band-Aids, gauze pads, antiseptic, field surgical kit, latex gloves, tweezers, waterproof tape, sting and bite kit, dental tools, analgesics, antihistamines, peroxide, syringes, antibiotics, trauma pads, medical scissors, tourniquet, Quikclot, etc.)
Army Field Manual FM 4-52: First Aid
Work gloves
Leftover space filled with protein bars
THE MINI-BOB
One day, while I was writing this book, Kevin Reeve of onPoint Tactical came over to inspect my survival supplies. After a trip to Costco, we had filled my garage with a stockpile that could last a year.
That was when he showed me something incredible, which put the mini-grocery-store-and-pharmacy we’d created to shame: A nearly lifetime supply of basic survival tools crammed economically into a pouch the size of a fanny pack. In case you can’t get back to your home, travel with this.
This is my version of his bag:
And here’s an interior view:
The contents are:
1. Silva compass
2. Aviation Survival Spark-Lite firestarter
3. Light My Fire Swedish firesteel
4. Waterproof matches
5. Cotton balls rubbed in Vaseline, k
ept in a film canister (to use as tinder)
6. Pure Easy Camper’s Micro-Ceramic Water Filter
7. Polar Pure water disinfectant
8. Rehydration salts
9. Condom (for carrying water, really)
10. Best Glide Basic Survival Fishing Kit
11. Vargo Titanium Triad miniature stove
12. Cable snare
13. Dental floss
14. Small suturing scissors
15. Sewing needles
16. Compact emergency space blanket
17. Sunblock
18. Insect repellant
19. Iodine, alcohol wipes, antibiotic ointment, and Band-Aids
20. NoDoz and Immodium caplets
21. Leatherman Flashlight, Serac S2
22. Leatherman Multi-Tool, Juice Xe6
23. Smith’s “Pocket Pal” Knife Sharpener
24. 6” file
25. Tweezers
26. Lock pick set
27. Safety pins
28. StarFlash Ultra signal mirror
29. Emergency whistle
30. Paracord
31. Rubber tubing with a brass spout (to use as a siphon)
32. Zippo lighter
33. Cable Saw
34. ESEE-3 knife (clipped on belt)
TEN EMERGENCY-PREPAREDNESS MYTHS THAT CAN KILL YOU
As you start or continue your own quest to create a Plan B, there are a few things to be wary of. In particular, TV and cinema will kill you. So will the Internet. And sometimes your parents and teachers will as well. If you’re ever in a disaster or emergency situation, and attempt to do something you heard from a faulty source, it could very well be the last time you try it.
So below is a list of the top ten myths that I believed about survival growing up. Each item is followed by the more accurate information I learned while researching this book. If you’ve been fed the same misinformation, hopefully something here will help you:
1. MYTH: If stranded in the desert, you can get water from a cactus.
TRUTH: Chances are you won’t be able to get more than a few drops of water from a cactus, it will taste bitter and acrid, and it could lead to cramps and vomiting. Morning dew, transpiration bags, and looking for signs of small springs, stream beds, and rock depressions with water will serve you better – though not as good as remembering to bring lots of water whenever you’re outdoors.
* * *
2. MYTH: If attacked by a shark, punch it in the nose.
TRUTH: You’re more likely to injure your hand than the shark if you hit it in the nose. Instead, if an attack is otherwise unavoidable, strike the eyes and the gills as rapidly and hard as possible (with a sharp object, if available). Animals, like people, don’t want to get in fights they may lose.
* * *
3. MYTH: In the event of an earthquake, the safest place to stand is a doorframe.
ALTERNATE MYTH: In the event of an earthquake, create a “triangle of life” by curling up next to a bulky object that will compress slightly on impact, leaving a void next to it.
TRUTH: The tip about standing in a doorway was true when homes were made of weak materials with wooden doorframes; however, in most modern buildings, the doorframe is the weakest point. And the triangle of life is only really applicable to homes in third world countries, with flat ceilings that will pancake straight down. Instead, drop, cover, and hold on under a sturdy object like a desk or table.
* * *
4. MYTH: If a bomb goes off, call 911.
TRUTH: Avoid using your cell phone or radio within 400 feet of a possible terrorist attack, because it can trigger a possible secondary device. Then call 911, as you make your way at least 3000 feet clear of the danger zone.
* * *
5. MYTH: If bitten by a poisonous snake, suck out the venom.
ALTERNATE MYTH: Cut an X over a snakebite to get the venom out.
TRUTH: You will not be able to cut or suck fast enough to slow the spread of venom – and getting venom in your mouth will only create a new pathway for the poison, especially if you have cuts in your lips or gums. Don’t apply ice or a tourniquet either. Instead, call 911, cleanse the wound, keep the limb below the level of the heart, use constricting bands two inches below and two inches above the bite, splint it, and keep physical activity to a minimum while waiting for an appropriate antivenin from emergency workers.
* * *
5. MYTH: If stranded at sea with no water, you can drink your own urine to survive.
TRUTH: Because your urine contains salt (in addition to potentially harmful waste), it will generally increase dehydration rather than mitigate it. Legitimate sources of hydration in the ocean include rainwater, solar stills, turtle blood, and fluid from the spine and around the eyes of fish.
* * *
6. MYTH: In the event of an electrical fire, unplug the appliance immediately.
TRUTH: Unplugging an appliance, handling it, touching an outlet, or dousing it with water are all good ways to get electrocuted. If your appliance is crackling, overheating, or emitting sparks, smoke, or fire, go to the circuit box and trip the specific breaker (or, if in doubt, the main breaker) before calling 911 or putting it out with a class-C extinguisher.
* * *
7. MYTH: Store a gallon of water a day per person for three to seven days in your garage or basement.
TRUTH: This is a fact. But many people have garages and basements with concrete floors. And if you store plastic bottles on concrete, the chemical reaction between the two materials over time will contaminate the water. So place cardboard or a wood pallet between the water and the concrete.
* * *
8. MYTH: If stabbed or impaled by something, pull out the knife or object.
TRUTH: This may look cool in movies, but never pull a knife or any other penetrating object from a wound. Call 911, leave the object in place, and pack a bulky dressing around it to keep it stabilized. The only exceptions are if the object is blocking the airway or must be removed to perform CPR.
* * *
9. MYTH: If stranded in cold weather, you can eat snow or ice to survive.
TRUTH: Eating handfuls of snow or ice will lower your body temperature and waste body energy. In addition, the snow may be contaminated. When possible, melt the snow, boil the water, then let it cool before drinking. (Bonus myth: drinking alcohol, even when strapped to the neck of a St. Bernard, not only won’t keep you warm but will cause your body to lose even more heat – however, you can always cuddle up to the St. Bernard for warmth.)
* * *
10. MYTH: Praying won’t help you.
TRUTH: Studies of the traits of survivors have noted one thing they had in common was prayer, even if they didn’t necessarily believe in god. Prayer helps keep one’s thoughts organized and mind focused. After all, the greatest survival skill one can have is to avoid panicking in an emergency, and instead to stay calm, organized, focused, decisive, and determined.
THE LOST CHAPTER?
The following may or may not be a cut chapter from this book
HOW TO ROB THE CRADLE AND THE GRAVE
I may or may not have flown to Toronto, Canada on July 18.
At which point I may or may not have stayed at my friend Will’s house, and borrowed his parents car to drive to the Mount Pleasant Cemetery, where I may or may not have searched for the tomb of someone who had died between the ages of four and ten.
I may or may not have found the granite grave marker of Peter Reynolds, beloved son of Nancy and Jerry Reynolds, born July 2, 1977, died May 18, 1987. I may or may not have written the information down on a notepad.
I may or may not have then gone to Citimail Box Rental on Queens Street and taken out a mailbox in the name of Peter Reynolds.
I may or may not have gone to the website of the Office of the Registrar General and downloaded an application for a replacement birth certificate, visited a genealogy website to find the birth dates and cities of Nancy and Jerry Reynolds, and filled out the form
.
I may or may not have called the Vital Statistics Agency to make sure they didn’t store birth and death certificate information on the same system, and then sent them my form along with a money order for thirty-five Canadian dollars.
The birth certificate may or may not have been waiting for me in the mailbox when I next returned to Toronto, at which point I may or may not have sent a copy along with an application form to the Social Insurance Registration office.
A social insurance number and card may or may not have been waiting for me in the mailbox when I returned a month later, after which I may or may not have gone to the Ontario Ministry of Transportation and taken a written test to obtain a learners’ license.
I may or may not have taken Will’s old University of Toronto identification card, peeled off the lamination, changed the name to Peter Reynolds, replaced the photo with one from my old college ID, and relaminated it.
At this point, I may or may not have gotten passport photos taken, had one of the photos signed by both the photographer and Will, and sent my original birth certificate and copies of my learners’ license and school ID, with Will serving as a guarantor of my identity, to the Passport Canada office.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Will may or may not have said. “My mother’s gonna kill me if I get sent to jail.”
After taking all these steps, I may or may not have received a Canadian passport with my picture on it over the name of a dead child.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think that, somewhere in Toronto, there is a mother who loved and lost Peter Reynolds. And, to her, I apologize. What I may or may not have done was wrong, not to mention risky. I should have trusted Maxwell.
THE LOST CHAPTER
I cut the following sections to just a couple paragraphs in the final version of the book. Here’s the full, previously unpublished text.
THE NUTRITIONAL VALUE OF WORM DROPPINGS
Though most of the people on Christopher Nyerges’ edible plant walks seemed to be naturalists, there was one student who I thought might be a survivalist. He appeared to be in his 20’s, with long hair, a beard, and a sticker from the movie The Big Lebowski on his backpack
