I flexed my knuckles, wincing as the cut pulled apart sending a fresh shock of pain through my wrist. “Yes,” I bit out the word as a new wave of anger surged through me.
“If you care about Henley at all, you’ll take a step back and help her figure out that she belongs here with Rhys.”
I didn’t respond as I thought over what she’d said. Was this all just a game to Henley? Was this Gigi using Henley to get back at me for not sleeping with her?
“Good.” Her smile broadened as she pushed from her seat. “It was nice meeting you.”
I stood there alone for a long while, my eyes locked on the sad image of Henley at prom. I wanted to hate her at that moment, but I could only find hatred in myself. I was a fool, and this game was just taken to another level.
I stalked back the narrow hallway to the room with the baby crib. Sinking down on the edge of the bed, I rested my head in my hands, angry at myself for falling for all the lies, but mostly angry at myself for falling for Henley.
She may not admit it to anyone, or even to herself, but I knew she felt something for me. Even if this was all some sort of game, she felt it and if I didn’t make her realize it, and soon, she would be in the arms of this Rhys bastard.
Beef’s words replayed in my head about not getting involved with someone when I knew I would be leaving. But I also couldn’t ignore Laney. I had to act on what I was feeling. Walking away without even trying wasn’t an option. At least, that’s what I told my still semi-drunken self as I pushed from the bed and stalked down the hallway to Henley’s room. The floorboard squeaked under my weight, and I froze, hand in midair, ready to knock as I listened for any sound from her mother’s room. The house was completely silent, the only sound the steady whooshing of blood in my ears as my heart began to pound. I didn’t have a plan. I was angry, and part of me wanted to yell at her, or at least confront her, but I knew the second I looked into her eyes, I would be speechless.
Chapter Thirty-One
HENLEY
“Henley?” Lucas called from the other side of the door.
“What?” I yelled, trying to keep my voice from cracking. He opened the door and slowly made his way over to the bed. He sat down on the edge and rubbed my back softly.
“I can’t sleep.” He sounded lost and wounded. I rolled my eyes wanting to tell him that he deserved it, but I couldn’t. I shoved off the covers and slid to the side of the bed. After shrugging off his jeans and shirt, he joined me, sliding under the covers and pressing his warm body against my back. I hated how comforting it felt, even when he was the one who had upset me. I relaxed into him, curving my back against his chest. His arms gripped tightly around my waist.
“I’m sorry about your dress,” he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling against my neck.
“I know,” I sighed, wiping my cheek.
“I just...” His voice trailed off, and I waited, hanging on his every word. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I am now. I promise.”
“You embarrassed me.”
His arms gripped tighter around me, pulling me into him.
“Let me make it up to you.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know what to say.
“Look at me, please.” I could hear the pleading in his voice, but I was frozen.
“Henley,” his breath was hot against my cheek. I slowly rolled over to face him. As I turned, his hands gripped my hips and pulled my body flush against him. I let out a ragged breath. His mouth was open, and he struggled to keep his breathing even. Our lips hovered an inch from each other, and I could feel how much he wanted me as his hips held firm against mine.
The electricity pulsed through every nerve ending in my body, and I struggled to remember why I was even mad at him in the first place.
“Lucas,” I sighed, his name tasting sweet as it left my mouth. He pushed against me reflexively, and I let out a small whimper.
“I can’t figure you out.” His head tilted as his lips brushed against mine. I pushed my hips back against him, struggling to keep myself away. “One minute you act like you hate me and the next like you can’t wait for me to be inside of you.” In one quick movement, he flipped me onto my back and was lying on top of me, pressing hard against my waist. I gasped, my hands snaking around his neck, desperate to close the space between his lips and mine. He’d never been this forward with me. In fact, the last time we’d been this close, he had turned me down because he didn’t want to hurt me.
He slowly moved his face closer to mine. I closed my eyes, begging for him to touch me. He froze. I opened my eyes, looking into his, searching for what I had done wrong.
“What?” I asked, wishing I could press myself further into the mattress and disappear completely from under the scrutiny of his gaze.
“I wish I knew what you wanted,” he sighed before brushing a strand of hair from my forehead.
My mouth went dry, and I ran my tongue over my lips. His eyes watched the movement, narrowing. “I want... you to kiss me,” I sputtered as the corner of his lips twisted up in amusement.
“Kiss you?” He asked before pressing his lips against my jaw, lingering for a moment before pulling back to look me in the eye. “Is that what you wanted? Is that how friends kiss?” He teased, and I was taken aback by how forward he was when he always seemed to be so careful with what we’d done in the past.
I cleared my throat before nodding and letting my lips part, desperate for more contact, my head clouded with lust. “I thought you didn’t want to hurt me?”
“You’d have to care for me to be able to hurt you, remember?”
I grimaced, hating that I’d said that to him while I was angry. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Again?” He asked, his eyebrow raised. I pressed my teeth into my lower lip as his head dipped. His mouth pressed against my neck and I let my head lull to the side as I felt the tip of his tongue swipe across my warm flesh. I sucked in a quick breath as my fingers flexed, gripping his shoulders. “Like that?” He asked as his mouth glided over my skin, settling in the crook of my neck as he pressed another open mouth kiss to my skin. I nodded, but he pulled away to look me over.
“I want to hear you say it, love.”
“Yes,” I whispered, looking down at his mouth before back at his smoldering eyes. “I want you to kiss me again, Lucas.” His hips rocked against mine; his length pressing against me in all the right places. I gasped, turning my head away from him as I gripped his muscular shoulders. His fingers slid under my jaw, and he turned my head to face him, his warm pants fanning across my cheeks as he rocked again.
“Is this friendly enough for you?” he asked before his forehead pressed against mine. I raised my chin in hopes of pressing my mouth to his, but he pulled back. “I can’t,” He shook his head.
“Why won’t you kiss me?” I asked, my voice small as I tried to push down the feeling of rejection.
“Friends don’t do that, remember?” He teased.
“You’ve kissed me before.” I gasped as his hips rolled again. “Are you torturing me on purpose?” I groaned, causing him to chuckle.
“This is what you consider torture?” He cocked an eyebrow as he reached between us, dragging the bottom of my shirt up my stomach to expose an expanse of flesh. The back of his knuckles slid over the skin before grazing the top of my panties. “I thought it was more like... a game.”
“What?” I asked as my face twisted in confusion as his fingertips slipped under the edge of my cotton panties.
“You like playing games, love?” he asked, his nose running along the edge of my jaw as his fingers moved lower. I raised my hips, desperate for him to move further. “I have a game we can play.” He slid down my body, his hand gliding over my breast briefly over the thin fabric of my t-shirt.
“What game?” I panted as my fingers laced in his hair, tugging gently. His lips swept over my stomach.
He glanced up at me, blue eyes smoldering. “
Let’s see how quiet you can be. Are you good at keeping secrets, Henley?” He gripped my hips, his fingers flexing and squeezing. I nodded, earning me a smile. “Of course you are.” He grabbed my ankles and placed my legs on either side of him before leaning forward and kissing my inner thigh. My eyes fell closed, lost in euphoria.
I gasped as his tongue ran out over my skin before nibbling gently with his teeth.
“Shh,” he whispered causing me to shiver when his breath blew over the now dampened flesh. He moved up my leg, painstakingly slow. My eyebrows knitted together as I struggled not to make a sound. I dug my teeth into my lower lip, whimpering as he paused at the apex of my thighs. I could feel his shallow breaths pulsing against my skin and I shivered, even through the thin fabric of my panties. His fingers wrapped around my thigh, squeezing it gently before his mouth was on me again. He was gentle and slow as if savoring the moment which was in stark contrast to the way my heart was beating like the wings of a hummingbird. I sighed as his tongue ran over me, causing my back to bow from the mattress. He was kissing me everywhere but the place I felt like I needed him most.
“Henley May?” My mother’s muffled voice called from the other side of the door and I bolted upright so quickly I banged my forehead against Lucas’.
“Owe,” he groaned as I placed my palm against his mouth.
“Shut up,” I whisper-yelled, panic washing over me and dousing the fire that had consumed me only seconds before.
“You awake?” She called again.
I cleared my throat as I pushed at Lucas, forcing him from my bed. I gathered up his clothing, shoving them into his arms as I forced him into my tiny closet.
“Be quiet,” I warned as he let out a low chuckle, clearly amused by my predicament. I closed the door as I smoothed my hair with my fingers.
“I’m up,” I stuttered, yanking open my bedroom door. Forcing a smile, I stepped to the left, desperate to block the opening as my mother tried to peer around me.
“Did I wake you?” she asked, an eyebrow raised.
“No. Yes. I think I fell asleep and didn’t realize it.” I laughed, unnaturally high pitched. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say... to tell you, that I know college is a time to make mistakes, but you don’t want to go down this road.” She pushed against my door, and I stumbled backward as she slipped inside.
“What road?” I asked as I folded my arms across my chest.
When she spun around her lips were curled up in an evil smirk that only my mother could pull off. “The boy,” she replied, the last word coming out in a sing-song tone.
I sighed as I rubbed the palm of my hand against my eye. “I’m too tired for this talk, mom.”
“Well, since I never get to see you, it looks like you don’t have much of a choice.” She sank down on the edge of my bed, and I cringed as I noticed one of Lucas’ socks. I quickly kicked it under my bed as I sat down beside her.
“Make it quick. I’m exhausted.” My eyes flicked to the closet as I grabbed my pillow and placed it on my lap.
“Did I ever tell you how I met your dad?”
“The story of Satan himself coming up from the pits of Hell to destroy your life?”
She smiled, her eyes narrowing in amusement. “That’s the short version. The longer version is that I was young in impressionable and he gave me attention. What wasn’t to love with his tattoos and devil may care attitude?” I rolled my eyes, but it didn’t stop her from droning on. “He made me feel special and I thought I could change him, but the only thing that changed was how he treated me once he got what he wanted... and his area code.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because that boy isn’t going to be around when things go all pear-shaped. He will be on the first plane back to England or wherever the hell he’s from and guess who will have to pick up the pieces? Me.”
“Of course, I should have known this was all about you somehow.”
“Henley,” she grabbed my hand, and I had to fight the urge to pull away from her. “You may not realize it now, but I want what is best for you.”
“You want to control my life because things in your life didn’t go the way you planned.” My eyes met hers, and I struggled not to back down from her menacing gaze. “He’s different.”
“No, Henley. None of them are.”
“It doesn’t matter. We’re just friends.”
“Good.” She patted my hand before letting it go and pushing to her feet. “Because if I find out that you’re still hanging around him after tonight, I won’t answer when you call needing money, understand?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. She slipped out into the hall, pulling my door closed behind her.
After a few seconds, Lucas opened the closet door looking extremely annoyed. “She’s pleasant,” he quipped. I slid over on my bed and fell back onto the pillow. Staring up at the plastic stars I’d hung there years ago that no longer glowed in the dark.
“Are you coming back to bed?” I tried not to sound like I was scared he would say no after listening to my mom talk badly about him.
“She did say after tonight.” He cocked an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on his lips as he slid in beside me. “We should get some sleep.” He pressed his lips against my forehead and I let my eyes fall closed, savoring the moment because I wasn’t certain he would ever want to be seen with me after the humiliation I’d just experienced.
I didn’t even know before tonight how badly I wanted him. Had he not pulled this stunt I may have never realized. I was humiliated and desperately needing him at the same time. I rolled over on my side and curled up into a ball. After a moment, his hands slid over my waist, and he pulled me back against him. I wanted to move away from him, but I couldn’t force myself to do it.
***
The sun poured through my bedroom window, blinding me. I rolled over, my hand fanning out over the empty bed. Lucas was gone, and for a moment I worried he’d found a way back to campus without me until I heard the unmistakable sound of his accent from down the hall.
Groaning, I slid from the bed and traipsed out to the kitchen. The smell of bacon hung heavy in the air as my mother stood in front of the stove, spatula in hand. Since when did she cook breakfast? She was really putting on a show.
“You should open a window,” I mumbled as I walked over to the kitchen door and pulled it open. A rush of cool morning air engulfed me, and I shivered.
“How did you sleep?” My mom asked, not bothering to look over her shoulder at me. My eyes locked onto Lucas, and I couldn’t help the way my skin heated just from his gaze, and the memory of his arms holding me against him all night. I hoped he’d snuck out of my room before my mother woke.
“Okay, I guess.”
“Do you want to take my car back to campus?”
“Really?” I couldn’t hide the sound of shock in my voice. My mother used that car like a leash to keep tabs on me my entire senior year. To think that she would just let me take it back to college with me seemed too good to be true. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch,” she replied with a shrug. “I haven’t needed it. The grocery store is a block away. Maybe you’d come home more if you had a way.” Her voice trailed off, but I didn’t miss the sadness in her tone.
“Thanks, mom.”
***
After eating and packing up a few things from my room to take back to the dorm with me, Lucas and I headed out on the most awkward road trip back to campus. He fumbled with the radio for most of the trip, when he wasn’t staring out of the window.
“Will you just talk to me already?” I pleaded, turning the music down. “Did my mom say something to you?” Did you finally realize you’ve been hanging out with a loser?
“No,” he replied, finally looking over at me. “It just... made me miss home.”
“Oh,” I mumbled before turning up the music a little. “That’s funny because it made me realize why I stay away,” I replied dryly.
; “Why were you sad?”
“What?” His question caught me off guard.
“At prom. Most girls love getting all dressed up, and you looked miserable in your picture.”
I gripped the steering wheel tightly as my tongue ran out over my dry lips. “I just didn’t want to go,” I shrugged, my eyes flicking between the rearview mirror and out the windshield.
“Your mother said it was because you didn’t want her taking pictures.”
I rolled my eyes, unable to contain an audible groan. “Leave it to my mother to make it all about her.” My eyes cut to Lucas who was now giving me his full attention. “I didn’t want to go to the party afterward. Rhys said we had to go because all of his friends would be there and if we didn’t, we might as well stay home altogether. I already had my dress on and everything.”
“You didn’t want to go the afterparty?” He repeated my words, but it was more to himself. “Did you?”
“Did I what?” I didn’t try to hide my irritation. Shaking my head, I felt like tears were imminent if we didn’t end this conversation soon. “Why do you care so much about prom? It was like a million years ago. I barely remember it.”
He shrugged, and I tried my best to ignore the horrible churning in my stomach as he seemed to look through me and see the truth.
“She said you ruined your dress.”
“She said that, huh?” I clenched my teeth so hard it felt like they were going to give way and crumble. “I spilled something on it, and it stained. Can we talk about something else now?”
“You want to go out tonight?”
“Really?” I cleared my throat after sounding a little too eager. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn’t think I was a loser after listening to my mom talk badly about him.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. I owe you after last night.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I think we both took things too far,” I conceded. I’d gotten so wrapped up in teaching Lucas a lesson, but I was the one who ended up learning the hard way not to play games.
***
I looped my arm with Lucas’ as I stumbled across the lot, my shoes in hand as Gigi and I did our best to sing the National Anthem.
Shameless (Shame On You #1) Page 19
