by Kari Trumbo
Dedication
This book is dedicated to two women who have been with me from sentence one. Thank you, Margie and Connie for your unflagging support.
1
Wedding of Josiah and Penny Hanover
Cutter’s Creek, Montana, 1892
Pretty people gathered all around her, talking to her, including her in their merriment. That had never happened before.
Ruby’s glance flitted all over the room as she pressed her ill-fitting skirts against her legs. Josiah had found her just a few weeks ago, saving her from the wilderness. But parties, especially weddings, were a much scarier wilderness to her. She took a deep breath and gripped her knees. Just sit. Don’t run.
The lovely Lily Donaldson sat to her right, and the bride-to-be, Penny Hanover, reclined on a chaise opposite Ruby in the front solar of the Hanover home. Penny’s mother, Sara, had decorated the area in bunting and pine boughs with candles, and now they were waiting for the groom and his family to arrive, along with Reverend Bligh. Everything about Penny seemed to sparkle as she talked and laughed with all the guests. Penny certainly deserved it after all the confusion and pain of getting shot and losing her memory. But now she was marrying Josiah. As soon as he arrived. Penny glanced over Ruby’s shoulder toward the door.
Ruby touched her stomach to relieve the roiling beneath her hand. The more Penny laughed and joked about becoming a wife, the sicker Ruby felt. Weddings didn’t bring out the best memories, but she pushed those down. It was Penny’s wedding day.
Ruby’s own wedding, just a little over a year before, had been terrifying.
Again, the memories of that day rose to bang against her heart.
One morning, fourteen months ago, her father dragged her from the room she shared with her seven sisters. She’d been seventeen then, but her naiveté didn’t last long. An old man with a gap-toothed smile and his hat in his hand waited outside. He’d licked his lips and tossed his hat back on his head, reaching for her. Her father shoved her into the old man’s arms and she screamed. The old man reeked of moonshine, the same stuff her father brewed.
Her father stood tall, shoved her closer to the man, even as she’d tried to run. He smiled at each of them.
“Father. Why? Why are you doing this to me?” Ruby cried.
He flinched then held out his arms. “Arnold Gresham, do you take Ruby Grace Arnsby to be your wedded wife? To have and hold, and all that,” his voice boomed through the clearing around their small shack.
Arnold scratched his chin and held her at arm’s length. She cringed and hunched her shoulders to cover herself as his leering eyes roamed slowly up and down her body, peeling back layers of clothing. He grinned wide, and she shrank back. “Yep, I think I do,” he answered.
Her father held up his arms in celebration. “Good enough for me.”
“Wait,” Ruby screamed, fighting to get free of Arnold’s fierce grip. “Don’t I get a say in this?”
“Nope.” Her father turned and disappeared back into the house, slamming the door behind him. Ruby glimpsed her sisters peeking through the pink netting on their window, but then Arnold spun her roughly back to him, kissing her square on the lips, his sloppy wet mouth soaking her face.
That was the last time she let her guard down around him.
He’d never touched her again.
Ruby heard the room quiet around her, pulling her from her own troubling thoughts as Penny’s gaze snagged on something behind Ruby. She turned to see who’d joined them and her glance caught on a man she’d seen talking to Josiah, Penny’s intended, once before.
Her heart sputtered in her chest. It wasn’t that he was incredibly handsome, nor incredibly plain. What made her stop in her tracks was that when their gazes met, his went from smirking and aloof to alluring and playful, and no one had looked at her like that before. His long dark hair brushed past his shoulders, but for the occasion he’d tied it back. A broad chest was swathed in a crisp white preacher-collared shirt under a black vest, narrowing to a lean waist. She couldn’t stop staring at him.
Penny laughed and touched her arm, breaking his hold over her. “Ruby Gresham, this is the ever too-quiet Beau Rockford,” Penny said cheerfully.
Standing on wobbly legs, Ruby held out her hand to him, hoping he didn’t notice her nervousness. His gaze never leaving hers, he captured her hand and kissed her knuckles. Excitement and fear collided within her. She wanted to yank her hand away and drag him closer, the two disparate desires making her head ache.
Thankfully, he didn’t smell like a drunk possum, so he was already better than men she’d known in the past. But that didn’t make him safe.
“The pleasure is all mine, Miss Gresham.” He never looked away, not for a second. “Please, have a seat. No need to stand on formality for me.” He waved his hand over her chair.
Ruby sat and waited for her knees to stop knocking together. She should tell him the truth. What did it really matter, though? Marriage was for lovers, not for those too frightened to ever go near a man again. She would never, could never, let a man close to her. She’d run from her husband for so long, running had become a habit. One she wasn’t sure she wanted to break.
Reverend Bligh entered the solar, escorting Josiah’s family. Josiah’s father limped in on the arm of his daughter, Carol. Penny and Lily had told her all about Carol; how she was sweet, but to not tell her anything you didn’t want the whole town to know. Also, the sweet gossip was man-hungry. Josiah’s father had some type of leg ailment. His face was unnaturally white and sweat covered his brow as he limped into the room. Reverend Bligh quickly retrieved a chair for him and he lowered himself into it. Carol took her place beside her father’s chair, resting her hands protectively on his shoulders. She regarded Beau openly, where he stood behind Ruby’s chair. Carol’s gaze dropped to Ruby and her eyes narrowed to an icy stare.
My, what a fickle girl, Ruby thought, turning back to Penny.
Bill and Sara stood by the large picture window and Reverend Bligh motioned them over. They joined the Reverend, giving their daughter hugs and private words. Penny clutched her parents close. Soon enough, the reverend arranged both families in a wide arc around Josiah and Penny, starting with Josiah’s father and ending with Penny’s brother, Holston. Ruby’s stomach fluttered and she glanced around for the nearest door. Beau’s eyes on her set her belly fluttering in other ways. She was trapped on all sides. There was no escape.
Ruby stood next to Penny with Lily on Ruby’s other side. On the other end of the half-circle stood Lily’s fiancé, James, and Beau stood right across from Ruby. His dark eyed gaze captured hers and her insides suddenly felt like snow in sunshine, warm and melty. She didn’t care for attention from men so she’d have to keep that one as far away as possible.
Reverend Bligh began the ceremony with a few simple words of welcome that seemed to drone on forever.
Though it was chilly outside, the Hanover’s home was stifling. If she were honest, the heat alone wasn’t responsible for the flush and weakness she was feeling.
The reverend spoke of happiness and fulfillment, and Ruby could only hope it held true for Penny and Josiah. It hadn’t for her parents. Nor her.
The reverend’s voice broke over her, “Josiah, you may now kiss your—”
Penny jumped into Josiah’s arms and kissed him full on the mouth. The family around her erupted in cheers.
Bile rose in Ruby’s throat and her head throbbed. Her breath came fast and darkness closed in on the edge of her vision. She closed her eyes and backed away from the happy scene playing out in front of her.
She needed air.
Penny turned with a jubilant yell and tossed her bouque
t into the air. Ruby, who had turned in the same moment, couldn’t stop the token of joy and wedded bliss from landing in the crook of her arm. She blinked down at them, unsure of what to do. She swallowed, unable to breathe, the air growing thick, heavy, hideous.
Must get out. She tossed the flowers to Lily and ran from the room.
2
Beau wandered away from the celebrants and toward the hearth. Too much noise. The crush around Josiah, the one person he knew well, was too much. Carol kept following him around like a lost puppy, and he’d rather avoid all contact with her. She was young and it was no secret she was husband hunting. She and most of the town girls like her, were one of the reasons he always left Cutter’s Creek for winter. Freedom was all he’d ever wanted. He’d have to leave town soon, or risk being snowed in. Then he’d have to avoid Carol all winter.
He glanced at the door, wondering where the beautiful Ruby had run off to. He frowned. He didn’t know what happened; one minute the bride and groom were kissing, the next … She’d turned a sickly pale color, her eyes brimmed with tears, then she tore from the room. Not the typical reaction to a wedding kiss. He didn’t put much stock in marriage, but the idea had never made him ill.
He rested his forearm on the mantle, leaning against it, staring down into the dancing flames and bright red coals of the fire.
She’d be pretty in front of the firelight, her red curls shining.
Ruby certainly wasn’t the typical Cutter’s Creek gal. Frankly, she looked uncomfortable in the dress she’d put on for the occasion, and she’d scratched at her hair as if wearing it up were foreign to her. Aside from her uniquely red hair, the only other notable thing about her were those blue eyes. More blue than he’d ever seen. He glanced at the door again, hoping to see Ruby walk through it.
What could be taking her so long? Why hasn’t she come back?
He approached the door and touched the handle. He heard a soft squeak from the other side. Beau leaned forward, pressing his ear to the polished wood. The sound came again, followed by a hiccup. He turned and took stock of the people around him. Everyone was on the other side of the room, engrossed in Penny and Josiah.
He stuck his finger in the recessed handle and gave the door a slight nudge, opening the sliding pocket door just enough to peek through. He caught a glimpse of a rose-colored gown and deep red hair. Ruby sat on the floor, knees to her chest, cradling her head in her arms her skirts draped in a circle, all around. Her shoulders quaked slightly, and the soft locks of her hair that draped her shoulders trembled with the movement. The sight of her crying did things to him he’d never experienced before.
What had bothered her so much she felt she had to leave, going out there to cry in secret? He wanted to go and ask her, on the other hand, he didn’t want to disturb her.
Then again…something about her tugged at him. He couldn’t leave her.
Beau pulled the door open a little more, slipped through, and closed it behind him. He maneuvered over to the wall where she sat and slid down it next to her, feeling her jump as he landed.
“Oh.” She sniffled. “I didn’t s‘pect anyone to come after me.” Her bright blue eyes, rimmed in red, stood out against her pale skin.
Beau peered back at the door, then stretched his legs out in front of him. “I was waiting for you to come back and join the party. I finally gave up and decided to join you out here instead. I couldn’t just let you sit alone. Care to talk about what’s bothering you?”
Her eyes widened and her lovely mouth opened for a moment, then snapped shut. She shook her head, her curls bobbing around her softly curved neck.
“I’m leaving town in a few days, and I don’t know anyone but Josiah. I ain’t got no one to tell. I’m no gossip, anyway.”
Ruby turned her face away then dashed the back of her hand under her eyes, wiping the tears from their wet tracks on her cheeks. He fought the urged to draw her glance back to him.
“Weddings just make me cry, is all. I can’t talk too much or you’ll realize I ain’t cultured.” Her eyes widened further and she gasped. “See, I already done ruined it.”
Her glance stayed far away from him and she played with the hem of her skirt like a child caught in a lie.
“You didn’t ruin anything, Ruby, and I didn’t expect you to be cultured. Josiah said he found you out in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know how you survived all on your own for so long.” He searched for the right words to say next. He’d always struggled with knowing just what to say. Eventually, he’d developed the habit of saying nothing at all. A habit that wasn’t helping right now. He folded his hands together and rested them on his stomach. “Where were you from?”
Ruby sniffed and he pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.
“I’m from Yellow Medicine. My kin’s still there, I think,” she replied.
“I know quite a few people from there. I’ve done some work there as a wrangler. I never met a Gresham family, though. Sorry I didn’t get to meet them, or you, when I was there.”
Ruby furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, draping them over her knees. “I guess you could say we stayed away from town. I only remember going into Yellow Medicine a few times.”
“Aren’t you a might young to be living on your own without your family?” He kept his gaze focused out over his feet. He didn’t want to accuse her of anything, but her silence made him uncomfortable, which wasn’t usually the case for him. He was treading into uncharted territory.
“I was…kidnapped, and held for a while, until Josiah found me and brought me here.” Ruby flinched then leaned forward, her gaze focused on the door across the hallway that led back to the party. She tensed like she wanted to dart through it, away from him.
Watch it, take it slow. “I see. I’m sorry for you. If you decide you want to go back to your family, let one of the Hanovers know. I’d be happy to find you a chaperone and take you back to Yellow Medicine. Not that I want to see you go after just meeting you.”
Ruby’s eyes widened again and she sucked in a deep breath, holding it until he was sure she’d faint. She was terrified. Poor thing. Probably scared of what her family would think of her being gone so long.
Beau clenched a fist then flexed his hands, willing his body to relax. Just sitting beside Ruby, knowing her heart was full of fear, did something to him he didn’t want to name. He had to get out of there. He pushed himself up to standing and walked back into the party. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he couldn’t stay beside Ruby any longer.
Just like he’d always thought, he was better off alone. No one to worry about impressing. Josiah and James could have married bliss, well, James could in time, when he and Lily finally got around to saying their ‘I do’s’. But, as long as he avoided pretty redheads, he’d just be fine alone.
***
Ruby watched Beau’s back as he slid through the pocket doors. He glanced at her for just a moment. His eyes and the slight slump of his shoulders betrayed his sadness before the doors closed with a thud, dampening the sound of the party on the other side. She pressed her hand against her forehead, her tears now used up. She’d lied, run, and felt alone for so long that this new life filled with friends was like a strange new second skin over her old bruised and broken one. The problem was, the new skin didn’t fit.
She stood up, straightened her ill-fitting dress, and hesitated. At just eighteen years, it was as if life had passed her by. There was no one to watch out for her besides herself. She couldn’t count on anyone. She sighed and turned toward the stairs leading up to the temporary room the Hanovers had let her use. It’d be best for her to disappear for a while, especially after embarrassing herself in front of all the guests, but that wasn’t possible. She had nowhere else to go.
She made it to her bedroom without encountering any of the staff Penny’s mother had hired for the occasion. She’d never had a room all to her own before and it might be the one thing she enjoyed; a little open space. Growing up, she
’d shared her room with all seven of her dear sisters. Every single one had been a treasure and her heart ached with longing to see them again. The chance of that happening, though, was slim. Her father had been quick to marry her off at seventeen and now, a little over a year later, another of her sisters was probably forced into an unwanted marriage.
Ruby pulled her worn-out dress from under the bed. She pressed her face against the mattress, reaching as far as she could, she found her bonnet and bag. Penny’s mother told her not to worry about her dresses, that Ruby could wear Penny’s while she was here. She opened her carpet bag, realizing now just how filthy and battered it was compared to the white coverlet on the bed.
Pulling out the one other dress she owned, Ruby viewed it critically. The fabric was worn. It was threadbare by the knees because she’d knelt to clean the cabin and pluck weeds from the small garden. A tiny burn near the shoulder reminded her just what happened when an unhappy man got too close.
When he couldn’t catch her one evening, Arnold had thrown his pipe at her. She could still feel the burning tobacco as it dislodged from the pipe and seared her dress and skin. She touched the matching scar under the fabric of her new dress.
Ruby knelt on the floor, digging further under the bed. No man would ever rule her again. She pulled the shotgun out and checked the barrel. She’d kill him first.
3
Beau stood in the door of the Cutter’s Creek Sweet Shoppe. He’d never liked going in, especially after Penny had been shot, but his feet were dragging and a hot cup of Arbuckles was just what he needed to warm up. Josiah had pestered him about staying and continuing to work with him moving freight, but he’d never done one thing for so long before. Now, he had to consider his options. He’d agreed to do all of Josiah’s deliveries for a week while he and his new wife got properly acquainted. That time would be up in just a few days and he didn’t know what to do. Josiah would have very little to do in just a few weeks, with the snowy season approaching.
