“But if you get into a relationship, one that’s supposed to last forever, aren’t the two supposed to become one?”
“One in that they’re unified, as a partnership, but the two people are still individuals. That never changes. In fact, if that starts to change, those are the times marriages tend to fail, when one tries to bend for the other.”
“I can’t imagine Jade bending.” I let out a laugh. “In fact, we just kind of had a discussion about that.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
I hadn’t really come here to talk about my relationship with Jade. There were other things more pressing. But what the hell? “She doesn’t like it when I forbid her to do something.”
Dr. Carmichael slid her lips into a grin. “That’s pretty understandable from where I’m sitting.”
“But you don’t understand. In the bedroom…”
“What?”
“In the bedroom, she does whatever I ask her to. Whatever I command her to.”
“Lots of women enjoy taking a submissive role in the bedroom. That doesn’t necessarily translate to a submissive role in the rest of her life.”
“That’s exactly what she said.”
“I’ve said it before. She sounds like a smart woman.”
“Yes, she is that. Definitely. That’s part of what I love so much about her. She’s hot, don’t get me wrong. Gorgeous, even. But her brain is just as sexy.”
Dr. Carmichael smiled again. “Most women would love to meet a man who feels that way.”
“I need to ask you something, something personal.”
“This isn’t really about me, but if it will help you, I’ll answer if I can.”
“My brother said he met you in Grand Junction, where you were at some psychology conference and he was there for a different conference.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“But when I ended up at the ER a couple months ago, and you were there, you acted like you’d never met him before.”
She reddened a bit. “Did I?”
“Yeah, you shook his hand and said it’s nice to meet you.”
If possible, her cheeks pinked even further. “I suppose I—”
“Oh my God. You’re attracted to him, aren’t you?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“I’m not going to lie. I think he has the hots for you. I’ve told you that before.”
“Honestly, I just didn’t want to embarrass you or your brother that day.”
“So you did remember him?”
“Yes.” She let out a sigh and pulled her long blond hair off her neck. Was she getting hot and bothered? “And this part of our session is over, Mr. Steel.”
“Understood.” But I smiled to myself. I had to get Joe in here for some therapy. Or to get laid. Maybe both.
“You look a lot like him,” Dr. Carmichael said. “About the same height, same build. He has a little more silver in his hair, and his nose is straighter.”
“Yeah, you know the bullies broke my nose.”
“And you have a younger brother?”
“Yep. Ryan. He’s known as the most handsome and as having the best personality of the Steel brothers.”
“More handsome than the two of you?” She lifted her eyebrows.
I laughed. “Yeah. And I thought we were getting off this subject.”
She shook her head as if to clear it. “Of course. I’m sorry. Let’s get back to you with Jade. So she wants you to take your relationship public, but you don’t want to. Why does she want to?”
“Well, this cop, who I thought was a friend of mine, asked her out.”
“So he’s no longer your friend?”
“He asked my woman out.”
“Talon, he had no idea she was your woman. That’s probably why she wants to make the relationship public.”
Of course. I knew that. “Why is this so hard for me?”
“Only you can answer that.”
“But you’re the shrink.”
She smiled. Always amazed me how she didn’t mind being called a shrink. “I think you’ve answered it yourself. You feel like she won’t love you anymore when she finds out everything you’ve been through.”
“Yeah, but it’s more than that though.”
“What’s that?”
“There are times, Doc, when I want to kill those three bastards. I dream about it.”
“I know you do.”
“And when I went overseas, I thought that killing enemies would take care of that desire for blood. But it didn’t. Those were empty kills. I did it for my country, and I don’t regret it, but it didn’t kill the demons inside me like I hoped it would.”
“No, because those weren’t the people who created those demons.”
“They were demonic on their own. Trying to kill me and my men.”
“I understand that, but try as you might, you can’t make them represent something that they don’t represent.”
“What if I can never control those rages inside me? What if I can never spend the night with Jade? What if I can never control the dreams I have and I wake up with my hands around her neck again?”
“We’ve already gone through this. I don’t think you will.”
“I wish I were as sure as you are.”
“You will be sure one day, and it probably will be sooner than you think.”
“I hope so.”
“In the meantime, Talon, don’t you think it’s okay to make your relationship public?”
“What if she doesn’t stay with me after she finds out everything?”
“First of all, I think she probably loves you enough to stay with you through thick and thin. But let’s look at the worst-case scenario. What if she doesn’t? What if something happens and she breaks off the relationship? What does that have to do with now? You could make the relationship public now, and if the relationship ends, you simply make public the fact that it ended. This isn’t rocket science, you know.”
“It makes a lot more sense when you say it.” Still, I couldn’t bear the thought of anything ending between Jade and me.
“Look, I do understand where you’re coming from. I really do. But you’ve come quite a ways already. Yes, there is more work to do, and we will do it, but if your relationship with Jade gives you happiness, gives you pleasure, why not shout it to the world?”
“Again, it makes perfect sense when you say it.”
“You don’t have to decide right now. Just think about it. Talk to Jade about it. Let her know your concerns.”
“She may not understand.”
“True, she may not. But there’s just as good of a chance that she will.”
“What am I going to do about the tattoo?”
“I think you have to be honest with her. You’re not going to be able to forbid her to get a tattoo. She’s an independent woman, and if she wants a tattoo, she should be able to have one. But if you tell her why that particular tattoo is a problem for you, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“We’ve been through all that before. It’s both a problem and not a problem.”
“True. But for you to see the exact tattoo that one of your attackers had on the woman you love is probably not the best thing in the world. I do understand that, Talon, and I know she will too.”
“I hope so, Doc.”
* * *
I got home in time to find Marj whipping up a roast pork loin with cumin and lime. I inhaled the smoky aroma. “Smells good.” I leaned down and gave Roger a pet.
“Call it therapy,” Marj said. “I sent Felicia home. I needed some good old-fashioned kitchen therapy.”
“Look, Marj—”
“Don’t. I feel horrible about what happened to you, Talon. I can’t stop thinking about it. And I know you kept it from me to protect me.” She sighed. “Sometimes I think ignorance is bliss.”
“Are you sorry we told you?”
She shook her head. “Of course not. I needed
to understand, and now so many things make so much more sense.” She paused for a moment. “You have to tell Jade.”
I shook my head. “I’m not ready to do that.”
“Do you love her? I mean truly love her? As in the forever kind of love?”
I let out a sigh. “Marj, you have to understand something. I want to answer that with a resounding ‘yes.’ I really do. But I have no frame of reference. I’ve never had a relationship before.”
“Talon—”
“Thirty-five fucking years old, and I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman in my life. And now I meet the most wonderful woman in the world.”
“You got that right. Jade’s the best.”
“So the truth is, I just don’t know if this is the forever kind of love.”
“Does it feel like a forever kind of love to you?”
“Yes,” I said honestly. “But like I said, I don’t have a frame—”
“Stop right there. If that’s what it feels like to you, that’s what it is. And if you want this to last with her, you’re going to have to come clean with her. She can help you. She won’t judge you. Believe me, she’s helped me through some hard times in my life.”
I didn’t want to belittle what “hard times” my sister might’ve endured during her college years, but I was pretty sure they weren’t nearly as bad as what I’d been through. “I’m afraid.”
“That’s understandable. But relationships can’t exist without honesty. Without trust.”
Trust.
Jade had shown me her trust. She had given me her trust without question, when I didn’t deserve it.
Could I give her that same gift?
“I will tell her, Marj. But in my own time, in my own way.”
“Have it your way.” My sister turned back to the counter and began to chop a head of broccoli.
Would I ever see her smile again? Only a few days had passed since we’d told her the truth. It was still very real and new to her. She would get through it. Hell, if we had gotten through it, she certainly could. But Marj’s smile—that toothless, innocent smile of my baby sister when I came home from hell—had helped get me through a lot of pain.
“Right now I’ve got to figure out a way to keep her from getting a tattoo.”
“That’s another thing I don’t understand, Talon. Why do you care so much about the tattoo?”
“You don’t understand. That tattoo she wanted to get…that exact image…”
Marj stopped chopping and turned to me. “What?”
“One of those awful guys who kidnapped me. He had that exact tattoo.”
Marj dropped her mouth into an O, the knife slipping from her hands and clattering to the floor, just missing her sandaled toe.
I picked up the knife quickly and set it on the counter. “Marj? What’s wrong?”
“Did Jade ever tell you where she found that image?”
I nodded. “Yeah, she said she found it in one of Toby’s books.”
“She did. But that’s not where she first saw it.”
My blood ran cold. “And where was that?”
“Her mother’s new boyfriend had that exact tattoo. On his forearm.”
Chapter Thirteen
Jade
I was changing out of my work clothes when someone pounded on my door.
“Just a minute,” I yelled. I threw my red silk scarf, white linen pullover, and black skirt on the bed and hurried into a tank top and a pair of heather-gray sweats.
I walked to the door. “Who is it?” I’d have to talk to Sarah about installing a peephole. Snow Creek was a small town and all, but I was a young woman living alone. I needed to see who was behind my door.
“It’s me.”
Talon. I opened the door. He was red with rage.
“Oh my God. What’s wrong?”
“Your mother’s boyfriend. What’s his name?”
“Nico. Nico Kostas. Why?”
Talon ran to my sink and turned on the water. “God, I met him. I fucking shook his hand.”
The water turned hot, and steam rose from the falling cascade. Talon pumped out some soft soap and scrubbed his hands. They turned red with the heat.
I strode quickly to the sink and turned off the water. “You’ll burn yourself. What the hell are you doing?”
“Where is your mother’s boyfriend now?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“I… I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since the night of my mom’s accident. He said he was flying to Des Moines. He hasn’t been back.”
“God… Goddamn.” Talon raked his wet hands through his tousled hair. “So fucking close!”
“Talon, please. Tell me what’s going on.”
He turned to me, gripping my shoulders. “What color are his eyes, Jade? This Nico guy. Does he have brown eyes?”
“Y-Yes, I think so. I never paid that much attention.”
“Neither did I, goddamnit. If only— Damn!”
“Talon, you’re scaring me. What the heck is going on?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me where you saw that fucking phoenix tattoo!”
“I did.”
“You told me you saw it in one of Toby’s books!”
“I did. I didn’t—”
“You saw it first on him! You saw it on that fucking psychopath!”
Psychopath? Nico struck me as a little slimy, but I figured he just wasn’t my type. “Talon, my mother would not date a psychopath.” Of course, I knew so little about my mother. Maybe she would. But Nico, a psychopath?
“Well, she is.”
I shook my head to clear it. “I don’t understand. Please just tell me what—”
He grabbed me and slammed his mouth down on the mine. It was an angry kiss, a punishing kiss. But what was I being punished for this time? For not telling Talon I had seen the tattoo on Nico?
But still I opened to him, let him take from me, let him punish me with his lips and tongue.
He broke the kiss and ripped my tank top off me. “Get on the fucking bed,” he gritted out.
“Talon, I—”
“I said get on the bed. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”
My lips trembled, but I obeyed. Equal parts of fear and arousal coursed through me.
I sat on the edge of my bed, my breasts bare, my nipples hard and longing for his touch. He grabbed my legs and pulled my sweatpants off. Then he ripped my lace panties in half getting them off me.
“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded.
Shivering, I complied.
Slap! His palm came down on my ass.
Slap! Slap! Slap! Three more times, and the sting tingled through me, morphing into pleasure as I cried out.
“Damn it, Jade!” Slap! Slap! Slap!
“Talon—”
“Shut the fuck up!”
Slap! Slap! Slap!
I moaned into the comforter, bracing for another smack. But a feathery light touch drifted over me. First over my stinging ass, and then over my back, and then down my thighs.
“This is a pretty red scarf, blue eyes.”
My red silk scarf. It had been one of the last gifts from Colin. I’d gotten rid of most of them, but this one had seemed too nice to give away. It added a splash of color to my otherwise mundane lawyer’s wardrobe.
“What can we do with this?” Talon asked.
I gulped in silence.
“Turn over onto your back,” he said.
I obeyed, my ass still stinging.
Talon was fingering the scarf. “I think I’m going to use this as a blindfold.” His voice, though hard and cold, was laced with desire. “I’m going to cover your eyes with this, Jade, and I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want to do to you.”
My nipples were so hard. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. I had no idea what he was going to do, and I didn’t really care. My pussy gushed fresh juice.
“I’d like to bi
nd your hands, but you don’t have any bed posts.”
“Of course not. This is a futon.”
“Then you’ll have to just hold your hands still. And if you move them, I’ll punish you. Sit up.”
When I did, he secured the scarf over my eyes and tied it in the back. The silk was cool on my eyelids, and I couldn’t see a damned thing.
“Lie down, and put your arms flat on the bed, palms down.”
I did as he told me.
“Do not move your hands. If you do, you’re going to get more spankings.”
I imagined my ass was red as a beet at the moment. Although the idea of more spankings didn’t repel me.
Nothing happened for a few moments. Talon was lurking around my apartment, his footsteps creaking on the floor. What was he doing? I had no idea, until—
“Oh!”
Something cold touched my nipple. Ice.
“Your skin is so hot, Jade, it’s melting right on you.” Little rivers of water flowed over my breast, like an icicle thawing over me.
The ice touched my other nipple, and soon the cold water flowed over the mound of my other breast.
“How does that feel, baby?”
It was an utterly new sensation. But pleasurable nonetheless. “Good,” I said.
The cold numbness of the ice cube trailed over each nipple once again and then spiraled around my breasts in larger and larger circles. It trailed down my abdomen, dipped into my navel for a scant minute, and then traveled over my vulva and nudged the tip of my clit.
“Oh!” But I didn’t move my hands. I locked them flat on the bed.
“Good, good,” he moaned. “I’m going to put this ice cube in your hot little pussy now. Don’t you dare move your hands.”
My thighs quaked as the cold ice cube trickled into my tunnel. “Spread your legs as far as you can, baby. That’s right. Now I’m going to suck on your clit while this ice is in your pussy. Don’t you dare move your fucking hands.”
I trembled all over.
“Yeah, baby, here comes the water. Your hot little pussy is melting the ice.” He licked my clit.
I grabbed fistfuls of the comforter, willing myself not to move my hands. I wanted to touch my nipples so badly, to pinch them and play with them. But I was determined.
Possession: Steel Brothers Saga: Book Three Page 9
