But with Nalik standing right there in front of her, Cass couldn’t outright reject him. What kind of cruel would that be if she was the one who was supposed to be with him? She couldn’t reject him after what her grandfather had done to him. But she couldn’t be with him because she felt bad over what Grandfather had done.
That wouldn’t be right either.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any clue what I should do.”
He stepped into the bathroom and dropped the bloody towel into the sink. He washed the blood from his arm and patted it dry with a second towel. Cass just watched him, studying his expression in the mirror.
She crossed her arms over her chest, once again reminded that she was ill-dressed for this type of conversation. She grabbed the robe Mallory had lent her and shrugged it on. It added at least a little bit more separation between him and her near nakedness.
She’d spent days with the man, slept next to him even, yet hadn’t felt nearly as vulnerable as she did now in a castle, surrounded by close to a hundred something people and demons. What was up with that?
“One thing you have to keep in mind, kitten, when that damned goddess decrees two people be together, fate works against them until it happens. You can’t deny it. And you can’t fucking escape it. I’ve given it a try for over a year now, yet look where I stand now.”
“You don’t have to sound so unhappy about that.” He came to her, demanded she give him everything, and then he made it clear he resented the whole idea. And he wanted her to be happy about it? Was he that stupid where women were concerned? If he’d even showed the least bit of excitement over possibly being with her, maybe it wouldn’t have ticked her off so much. “I am not Dardaptoan. I don’t have to play by Kennera’s rules. Or this fate you seem to believe in.”
“It’s not belief, it’s experience. Seven hundred plus years of watching Kennera fuck with the people I know. You know how many of my friends and cousins I’ve watched go through the three hells because of Kennera’s pairings?”
“Have they ended up happy?” She had to admit, she’d found some of the stories written in Theo’s books quite romantic. He’d cataloged a lot of great Dardaptoan legends in his journals; and he’d let Cass read a few. She’d learned so much of Dardaptoan mythology from Theo’s books.
“If you could call being a damned sheep following the calling of a goddess who didn’t give a damn about them happy.”
“But they found their mates. They had someone to love them. To love in return. How could that be wrong?”
He stared at her for a moment. “If you think it was great for them why are you so resistant to the idea of us?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer that. How could she be? “Because…I never thought I’d end up being someone’s Rajni, Nalik. Especially…”
“Mine. Because?” He’d tensed, crossed those muscled arms of his over his chest, while he waited for her answer.
“Because you’ve made it obvious from the first night we met that you wouldn’t want me. How am I supposed to forget that? Theo said most Rajnis hook up within days of meeting. Even hours, but it’s been over a year and you’re just now saying something? How do I even know you’re telling the truth?”
His hands wrapped around her arms and he lifted her straight off her feet, until she was able to look him directly in the eyes. There was something in the gold, something that resembled hurt and determination and something else she couldn’t identify. “Because I do not lie. Ever. Especially to you. So listen closely, Cassandra. I will have my mate. It is the one thing that damned goddess hasn’t screwed me over with. I will have you. Get used to it.” He yanked her against him, and kissed her. Hard. His hands dropped to her naked butt and he guided her legs around his waist.
He was big, hard, hot, and strong, and he kissed like someone who knew exactly what he wanted and what he was doing.
Her lips burned when he pulled away. “Get dressed. You’re wanted in the dining hall.”
She couldn’t do anything but nod. He’d scrambled her brains—that was the only way she could describe it.
Chapter 31
Her doubt hurt him, but what more had he expected? She wouldn’t greet a man like him with open arms, and he would be stupid to expect it. He couldn’t just go to her room and make demands.
Had he played his hand too quickly?
He suspected he had. He’d given her advance warning of what was to happen, and now she had time to get her defenses in place.
But he couldn’t just attack her and say “You’re mine, deal with it.” Could he? What kind of future would that set them up for, anyway?
The girl was already getting screwed by being paired with him. Had there not been so much danger attached to being in his world now, he never would have acted on the Rajni bond.
But she was the only mortal in a world of immortals about to go to war. She had to be protected; and it was his damned duty to see to it that she was. She deserved to be someone’s top priority, and there was no one in her damned family capable of making that priority. So of course it fell to him.
She was his; his mate, his responsibility, his damned fate.
He might fucking hate fate, but he’d take care of his female.
He stormed down the hallway and ran headlong into Bronwen, sister of Theo. The girl he’d taught to draw nearly half a century ago had followed her family’s fate and gone blind, almost completely. She was smaller than a typical Dardaptoan female—which made the male Warrior Demon following her seem all the larger.
“Bron.” He said her name just to make her aware of his presence. She and the Warrior Demon were arguing over something, and it surprised him. Bronwen was not an overly assertive female—far from it. To see her arguing with someone—especially such a large imposing bastard-- surprised him. Brought out the protective instincts he’d thought buried with his sister.
She and Bronwen had been close in age—only a couple of years had separated them—and had been the closest of friends.
He’d held Bronwen while she’d cried over his sister. And cried, until she was nearly sick from it.
How could he forget that? Her grief had been nearly as strong as his own. “Bronie, are you in need of assistance?”
“Stay out of this, Dardaptoan. The girl and I have unfinished business between us.” The warrior demon stepped between them. Nalik suppressed the urge to just kill him where stood. It’s what he’d been trained to do in the past. Warriors such as this had been prime threats in his world. Once. It would take him a while to see Relaklonos warrior demons as allies.
“Not if she wishes otherwise.”
“Nalik, I’m well. Someone just forgets that he has no say in my future. He is not my Rajni, yet he seeks that position.”
Nalik looked at her as she said it, and he knew she lied. She had never been very good at it. He knew the history between her and the demon—everyone had heard the rumors after she’d been found—but the depth of emotion between the two in front of him was surprising.
Unless he figured in the damned Rajni bond.
Had little Bronwen been capable of denying her Rajni for a year? Just as long as Nalik had his?
That concerned him—if Bronwen was capable of it, having been raised with the knowledge that a Rajni bond was sacrosanct, what would it say of his chances of convincing Cassandra that the bond was meant for them?
Cassandra had already proven to be an extremely stubborn mostly-human; would she fight the Rajni bond even harder than Bronwen?
“If you wish to be separated from him, I can assist you.” He clenched his hand around his sword with meaning. The warrior smirked; Nalik mimicked the expression. He could use the release a good battle brought. And the warrior demon was of good size to present some challenge.
“No! I don’t want anyone fighting. I want to go to my rooms alone. That’s all. I am…tired. There was much work to be done in the Healers’ Chambers last eve. I have yet to find my rest.”
Nalik look
ed at her, seeing the truth in the slump of her shoulders and the paleness of her skin. “Then alone you shall be. The Warrior demon and I shall find our way to the dining hall. I am new to the castle, after all, and just might lose my way.”
The big warrior wasn’t happy about Nalik’s interference, but neither man missed how weak Bronwen appeared just then. She was a fragile Dardaptoan female, and Nalik felt actual worry fill him.
He’d forgotten how much he’d cared for Theo’s young sister. He’d been there when her mother passed and her father disappeared. She’d been just a newborn, and Theo and his younger brother Thad had been frantic to keep her alive. So many of their babes were lost within those first few tenuous weeks of life.
Luckily Bronwen had not been one of them. He could remember her as a tiny girl, trailing along with his sister, the two of them laughing and getting into girlish mischief. Always knowing that Theo and Nalik, as well as Iavius and Thad, would be there to keep them safe.
He’d forgotten Bronwen in his own grief and pain. Just as he’d forgotten how he’d cared for his cousin Aureliana.
Shame hit him.
He’d lost Iavius and Erastine but he had not lost others he cared about. He still had some family left. Even Kindara lived, though he’d spent little time with her in the last thirty years.
Every time he’d looked at her guilt had threatened to choke the life out of him. At first. Then he’d been filled with apathy where she was concerned. She was one of those rare Dardaptoans who had lived after the loss of their mates. He understood how her life had been spared—Cormac had sat by her side every day for the first two years after Iavius was murdered, and then he’d brought her a foundling to raise. Another victim of that Taniss bastard. A mere babe, barely weeks old.
It was that child—now the mate of Taniss’s oldest grandson, damn the bitch goddess for that—that had sent Nalik searching the world for more signs of Taniss’s evil. If he could help just one more victim of that bastard...that was what had driven him in the early years after the torture.
He’d thought when Aodhan had pulled him out of the basement of Taniss’s laboratory that the end of Taniss’s genocide of his people was over. But Jierra had been found more than two years after that day.
There had been more victims of Taniss; victims Nalik had done nothing to help.
He’d felt the guilt of that for years, too.
And then he’d felt even greater shame when he’d realized he’d blamed his brother’s mate for everything for such a long time. It had been Kindara who’d wanted to go hunting that day—the babe in her belly making her more thirsty for blood than usual—and he and the others had went along with her. And it had been Kindara that Taniss had enjoyed torturing while Iavius had watched. Iavius had agreed to Taniss’s experiments if it meant his Rajni and babe be spared.
Nalik had blamed both his brother and sister-in-law for that.
Now that he’d found his own Rajni he half understood it.
He’d go through all of the fires of the three hells if it meant keeping Cassandra safe. How could he have blamed his brother for wanting to do the same for his own female? Even at the cost Iavius had paid?
“Bronie, go rest, little sister. I will see to it that you are not disturbed.” His words were gentle with his sister’s best friend.
“I think I will.” She started down the hall, then turned toward him. He knew she couldn’t see him. “Nal?”
He tensed. “Yes?”
“I’m…I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you. And I think Theo has, too.”
“Somehow I doubt that. He’s got that pretty little female of his to keep him busy. And that babe.” A pretty little redheaded babe who was bound to grow into a beautiful female someday. A pretty little Rajni who everyone could see was as sweet and loving as could be. One of the easier Taniss female’s to have, it seemed. One could almost overlook her antecedents.
Theo was a lucky male, indeed.
“Even so…you were his closest friend. You and Aodhan and Iavius. And…I think he’s missed you. I’m glad to see you are back. I was worried.”
“Worry no longer, kitten. I am back. Now, go. I’ve a few questions of this place I must ask of your Warrior. And I think he’ll at least give me a straight enough answer.”
He waited until the girl was down the hall, before turning toward the Warrior. “What seek you with her?”
“What business is it of yours?”
“Her brother is content to let fate work itself out. I am not as passive. I have been screwed by the bitch of destiny more than enough times to know I can’t stand her. Or her interference. Whatever it is you want from Bronwen, you’re going to have to seek to gain her heart, rather than just to control. She’s a soft and tender one, and I’d hate to see some careless male bruise it.”
“You know her that well, then?”
“She is as close to me as my dear sister was. Just as precious, as I had a small hand in raising her.”
“She is far more stubborn than even a warrior female. And ten times as vulnerable.” The warrior gripped his own sword as intense fear and worry filled his face. “And just too damned small and defenseless. I…cannot… protect her always, not like I wish.”
A situation Nalik understood for he’d found himself in the exact same one. “I know the feeling. These modern females are far worse than those of times gone. But still defenseless.”
“I will have her. It is just a matter of when.”
“Bronwen favors the humble. Do not overlook that in your quest.” It was all the interference he would make in their private matters. It was not his place to do more.
But if Theo did not do his duty by his sister, than Nalik would take up the role himself.
He owed it to Erastine to make sure her best friend was happy. He could do at least that much, since he’d never see his sister in her own Rajni bond. If she’d even had one.
Had the goddess whispered his sister’s name, or had she not even bothered? Had she known his sister was destined to die at the age of seventeen?
Was that why Nalik’s pleas had gone answered thirty years ago?
Chapter 32
Cass took a hot shower and tried not to think of what had happened. But of course that was all she could think about. His claims, his kiss. How her resolve had wavered the minute he’d left her rooms.
Being with him would offer her much. She’d be almost immortal and could be with her sister. She’d have a man who treated her the way Rydere treated Emily. She had envied her sister that on several occasions.
She’d have someone who felt just as out of place as she did with her gifts.
But would it be love he felt? Or just obligation because she’d been thrust upon him? Hadn’t he pretty much proven that he didn’t truly want her by ignoring her—and the supposed Rajni bond between them—for over a year? When no other Dardaptoan had done that?
What did that say about how he truly felt?
He obviously didn’t want her, not the way it counted. If he had he’d have acted that first night in the gardens. He’d at least have said more than he had to her.
Telling her to get out of his way on a few occasions, or to stop her infernal humming before his nerves grated raw were not exactly loving, romantic, things to say, were they?
So why had he just changed his mind now?
He was crazy if he thought she was going to sign on for him to take control of her life like that.
She would just stay away from him, or go to another realm. She would love to be with Emily.
But then again, Emily was in Levia, living almost side-by-side with goddess now.
The thought of the goddess made Cass nearly nauseated. What if Nalik had been right? What if Kennera really had abandoned him? Left him to suffer like that? Would Cass even be able to look at that woman without wanting to vomit?
What if Kennera had really linked him with Cass, knowing that Cass was the granddaughter of the man who’d hurt him so badly he’d
scarred?
How could Kennera do that to him? Nalik had said the goddess could see the past and the present. She had to know what Nalik was suffering when it was occurring. And that had happened thirty years ago. Cass was barely twenty-two! Kennera would have to have known what would happen when she’d whispered Cass’s name and Nalik’s together.
She would have had to. She could have stopped herself—she didn’t have to pair them together.
Cass did feel physically ill then. And she felt a rush of disgust and irritation for the goddess for not stopping herself. For not protecting Nalik from future pain that way.
How could the goddess have looked at him and not realized how pairing Nalik with a Taniss would have hurt him? Had the goddess seriously not cared?
It was a good thing Cass wasn’t Dardaptoan—there was no way she could live in respect of that goddess now.
Not after seeing the pain on Nalik’s face.
And he’d feared her rejection. She’d seen that easily. Did he think she didn’t want him because of something he had done?
That wasn’t so. The only reason why she didn’t want him was because she didn’t want to be anyone’s Rajni. It wasn’t just him. It was the idea of some goddess that she would never revere interfering in her life that way. It was not the goddess’s place or the right.
Why hadn’t the goddess paired Nalik with someone more appropriate? Someone who could help him be happy, someone who could appreciate him exactly the way he was?
Someone who wasn’t half afraid of him?
Cass stared at herself in the mirror as the steam from her shower dissipated. She was a coward, wasn’t she? A young, wimpy, sniveling coward.
She pictured him in her mind, seeing the strong arms, gold eyes, the scar that made him so coldly terrifying at times. Then she remembered him wrapped around her when that purple portkey had ripped her to Evelanedea. How he’d held her, carried her, when her foot had been blistered in a world she could never hope to understand. He was a good man, kind and protective, though he was often rude and abrupt.
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