by Ramy Vance
Suzuki silently groaned. Another player with the wholly original name of Conan. And judging from the long string of numbers after his name, it seemed Mr. Originality here was just one of almost a hundred and twenty thousand others who thought Conan was a good in-game name. “Yeah, your guys held your shit together pretty well.”
“Well enough, until…you know.” He made a sleeping gesture. “What do you want?”
“I been thinking ‘bout this door. You guys tried to open it already, right?”
The barbarian nodded to the door. “Been banging on it for two days. You?”
“Long enough. So there’s this inscription on the door. ‘The power is more than one.’ And you saw how that haphnax aggregated its fear and used it against us. I think the game’s pulling some weird shit. I mean, this is the Expansion’s secret dungeon. It’s not going to work like the rest of the game, just like that haphnax didn’t work like the rest of the game.”
The barbarian took a few practice swings with his ax before pointing at Suzuki. “So what do you think we need to do?”
Suzuki walked closer to the door, pointing at its center. “Attack it together. Just like the haphnax used our collective fear, we need to work together. Collectively. I think that’s what distinguishes the Expansion from the rest of the game. Shit only works if different parties work at it together.”
“Uh-huh,” the barbarian said, pursing his lips. He clearly doubted Suzuki’s logic.
“OK, how ‘bout a wager then, Conan_119876?”
“It’s just Conan. Don’t worry about the numbers with the name. You’d be surprised at how many Conans are running around on this server.”
“Yep, I’m real surprised,” Suzuki said, trying to avoid smirking. “OK, here’s the deal. If we get it open, I get first dibs on sword loot. If we don’t get it open—”
“You convince your girlfriend to raid with me next week.”
“My girlfriend?”
Conan jerked his head in Beth’s direction. She was wiping the blood from her sword with some ornate fabric. She whipped the fabric, and the blood snapped from its end and hit Stew in the face. Suzuki couldn’t remember a time he’d ever seen her look so beautiful.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Suzuki blushed.
“Then it shouldn’t be too big of a problem, right?”
“Fine. Deal.”
Conan and Suzuki made their way to the dungeon door. There was a thin disturbance in the air around it—a force-field of some sort.
Suzuki and his party had been attacking the door for the better part of the last few nights, fighting off the occasional spawns of mobs trying to sneak up on them.
So had every other party camping in the forest. No one had broken the secret.
Usually, Suzuki wouldn’t have stuck with the door so long. There was a lot to do in Middang3ard, and dungeons were only part of what he enjoyed. The game was so much more than just running through mob after mob of enemies.
The amount of variation in the magic system alone was enough to spend a lifetime on. Some of the best parts of the tabletop version of the game had been expertly ported into the VR version.
That said, Suzuki was invested in this dungeon. A close friend of his, RealDeal_0300, had cleared the dungeon a few weeks earlier and disappeared from the game altogether.
But since they were offline friends, RealDeal had been in touch. Not with any real information, because he’d had to sign some NDA and risked being banned from the game for life if he said anything. The only thing RealDeal had hinted at was that whatever was in the dungeon would break Suzuki’s world.
Then there were the rumors that Middang3ard was more than just a game. That it was a real place, too.
And that this door in the Expansion set opened the gateway.
But Suzuki dismissed that as hype designed by master marketers, pushing the Expansion to millions of users. Still, it would be cool if Middang3ard actually existed.
And RealDeal’s disappearance did give credence to the rumors.
“On the count of three,” Suzuki said, lifting his sword over his head. “One, two, THREE!”
Conan and Suzuki brought down their swords on the door’s shield. There was a bright flash of light, and an electrical current pulsed out from the shield and through the forest. Players from every party looked at the dungeon door as the shield fell.
The door swung open.
Suzuki raised his fist in triumph. “Yes!” Glancing at Conan, he added, “If you find any barbarian shit in there, you can keep it. Thanks for the help.”
The Mundanes, along with the rest of Conan’s party, had rushed over as soon as they saw the door open. They all stared into the darkness of the dungeon, where thousands of red eyes peered back at them.
“Holy shit,” Beth murmured, staring at them.
Stew cracked his knuckles again. “There’s a lot of things to kill in there.”
“Hold it together, Douche Nozzle, and don’t spill your load too fast.”
Stew smirked. “I don’t ever spill my load too fast. I explode my passion when I feel it’s appropriate.”
“Is that true, Sandy?”
The mage ignored Beth’s question, her gaze fixed solely on the cavern before her. “I can only hear the future death cries of my enemies. Everything else is noise.”
Suzuki gestured for the others to huddle around him. “All right, Mundanes. For honor, for glory—”
“For XP,” they shouted in unison.
Stew shook his head. “There’s no XP in the game. Maybe we should—”
Before he could finish, the Mundanes were running into the dungeon, followed by Conan’s party—what was left of it, at least. The darkness was tangible, almost as if it had a life of its own, and even though the red eyes had seemed so close, they hadn’t come across anything yet.
It was almost as if it were empty, and the farther they ventured, the more anti-climactic it became.
Stew yawned loudly as he playfully pushed Beth.
“Will you stop dicking around?” Beth growled. “Stay focused.”
“Why? It’s empty,” Stew replied.
Suzuki stopped walking as they entered a large cavern where a small goblin child stood alone about fifty yards ahead of them. “Not empty,” Suzuki said, pointing at the child, who stared at them with huge, baleful red eyes.
Stew pointed at the creature. “What the fuck is that?”
“HUDs up,” Suzuki whispered. “I’m not getting any read on the enemy type. It’s some kind of goblin, but I’ve never seen a goblin child before.”
The goblin child was holding a small doll in its hand. When the players took a step closer, the goblin opened its mouth and started wailing.
“Oh, shit,” Beth exclaimed. “It’s a goddamn sentry.”
The ground shook, and through the dungeon echoed the sounds of feet hitting the floor and steel clanking. Suzuki looked at the ceiling, and he could see that there were holes dug into the cavern’s walls. At the center of the cavern, directly above the wailing goblin, was the largest hole. The goblin child wailed again, and that was when the first wave hit. Goblins flooded out of the holes in the walls, coming from all over the dungeon.
Suzuki drew his sword as DeeStruck launched herself into the air, tossing fireballs in every direction. Leeroy drew his daggers and cast Enrage on himself. His body bulked up, and his eyes went red. GameOver drew her sword and shield and threw herself into the fray. Suzuki and Conan went barreling after her, their swords connecting with goblin flesh as fire rained from the sky.
“May death ring through the ears of all who dare challenge my power,” DeeStruck shouted.
Conan slid his sword into the stomach of a goblin. “She really gets into roleplaying, huh?”
“Hey, Stew?” Suzuki called. “How much does Sandy actually like to roleplay? She got you dressing up like a maid yet?”
“Eat a goblin dick,” Stew shouted.
Suzuki blocked a goblin with his shield and Be
th jumped over him, landing on top of a goblin and driving her sword through its chest.
There were still more goblins, and it was impossible to tell when they were going to stop spawning. Suzuki checked his HUD.
Five percent.
It was time for a plan, or they would be overwhelmed in the next couple of minutes.
“GameOver,” Suzuki shouted. “On me.”
“Gotcha!”
As Beth and Suzuki pulled away from the mass of goblins, Stew caught their eyes.
“Are you guys splitting?” Stew cried out. “You never split the party!”
A mob of goblins swarmed over Leeroy and he drew his greatsword to cleave through them as Sandy swooped down, generating an electrical storm as she hit the ground. Even with all that effort, the goblins quickly washed over them, drowning them in a sea of gray bodies.
Suzuki sheathed his sword and held up his shield. He checked his mana on his HUD; there was enough. He cast Find Hidden Traps and Pathways, and bright gold light flew from his shield to the walls of the cavern. Suzuki and Beth chased the light until they came to a far wall where there were no holes. The gold glow outlined a door.
Before Suzuki could gauge the situation, Beth pushed against the outlined stone and a door in the rock opened. Beth fell through the door, and Suzuki followed.
The room was empty except for a stone with a sword in its middle.
Suzuki shook his head, “This doesn’t look right.”
“Fuck it, it’s the sword in the stone.” Beth pointed at the damn thing. “Cliché, but classic as hell.”
Beth crossed the room and grabbed the sword, and the VR simulation around them dissolved. Stew and Sandy manifested next to them.
The game completely disappeared, and the only things left were their four avatars, hovering in cyberspace.
“I can’t believe you two left the party like a bunch of newbs,” Stew growled.
“Fuck off, douche nozzle,” Beth shot back. “Looks like it worked.”
A long gong sounded, startling the normally fearless warrior so much that she grabbed for Suzuki.
When she realized what she had done, she quickly looked away before muttering, “Sorry.”
“No, no, it’s all good,” Suzuki told her, tripping over his words.
“If you two are done being awkward as fuck,” Stew said, “check your emails.”
Suzuki looked at his HUD, and there was a new message blinking. He opened it.
The message read You have completed the final dungeon. You are cordially invited to Middang3ard.
“But this is Middang3ard.” Stew’s voice was filled with confusion.
Sandy looked the invitation over. “How the hell can we get invited to a videogame we’re already playing?”
Another message popped up. It included a PDF of a plane ticket to New York City and a receipt. The receipt was signed by none other than Myrddin Emrys.
The game shimmered out of existence. Suzuki was laying on his bed, staring up at the blank screen of his VR visor. A message flashed, Game Complete.
He took off the visor and shouted, “Fuck, yeah! We’re going to Middang3ard!”
5
Despite Suzuki’s initial doubts, the tickets were real. He was picked up by a limo around the crack of dawn and driven to a private airfield, where he was greeted by a young man holding up a plaque with the name “Suzuki” on it.
He shrugged, agreeing with their decision to use his nickname instead of Robert. After all, he’d been playing as Suzuki for so long, everyone called him that.
Even his mom…before.
Suzuki shook his head, driving away his thoughts of names and the past. Now was a time to be consumed by the future, and as he stepped onto the plane, that was all he thought about. What would the future hold?
Middang3ard, he hoped.
The young man gestured for Suzuki to board the plane, and, as soon as he was seated, the plane took off, ascended into the clouds, and sped toward Manhattan. There were no pre-flight safety videos or flight attendant to make sure his seat belt was properly fastened.
So much for playing it safe, Suzuki thought as he stared out of the window.
Suzuki was exhausted because the excitement of this moment had denied him any real sleep over the last couple of days. Now he wished he had slept.
Knowing that this plane ride was his last chance, he closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again.
Sleep was impossible. His body was a live wire, with everything he had read about Middang3ard conspiracies crackling through his head.
It was all conspiracy theories about the true nature of the game.
Weird shit, with people theorizing that the VR game was a simulation of a place that might actually exist. But that was old news mostly, spouted by the same people who believed the moon landing had been faked and the Earth was flat.
But then there had been the announcement by Myrddin, which fueled the rumors to the point where the more moderate players started chiming in.
And now there was this? Suzuki was flying to New York City to meet the game-makers and the other Mundanes.
The five-hour trip hardly felt like half an hour, and Suzuki’s heart pounded with excitement and fear as the private jet circled the city skyline, getting ready to land. He watched the skyscrapers as they loomed like the titans of another world. Having grown up in a small, nondescript town, Suzuki thought about how the pictures he’d seen didn’t do this skyline justice.
Not even close.
The plane wasn’t heading toward the skyscrapers, though. They were flying a little farther out of the city, closer to upstate New York.
After a little more time, Suzuki could see that they were quickly approaching a solitary skyscraper poking through a canopy of trees. The plane landed on a small landing pad near the towering glass building.
Suzuki grabbed his luggage, slung it over his shoulder, and followed the young man in the black suit off the plane. They approached the building, where two people were standing by the entrance. Even though Suzuki had never seen them in real life, he recognized them instantly.
Stew was nearly as large as his avatar Leeroy, but unlike the smooth, almost baby-like cheeks on his avatar, Stew’s real cheeks were covered with splotches of acne.
Sandy resembled her avatar even more closely. Petite, cute, with flowing black hair, she was almost her avatar’s spitting image. All you needed was her hands glowing with destructive magic, and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Stew saw Suzuki approaching and waved him over, giving him the biggest bear hug as soon as he was in reach. Once he was put down, Sandy embraced him with a hug as vigorous as Stew’s.
Sandy broke the hug, “It’s so good to finally meet you in the flesh.”
Stew slapped him on the back. “Yeah, it’s good to know you look like as much of a punk-ass in real life, too.”
Suzuki nodded. “Yeah, yeah, good to see you asshats too.”
“I think he looks a little more stately in real life,” a voice called from behind.
Beth.
Suzuki recognized her voice. He’d recognize it anywhere and under any circumstances. Beth. He was finally going to meet her in person. Turning around, his heart pounded as if it were trying to escape his chest.
Even though she hardly broke five feet, she seemed to tower over all the Mundanes. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, and her biceps were even more impressive outside the game. Her hair was cut even shorter than her avatar’s, too.
“A lot less pasty.” Beth chuckled. “Like you might actually know what the sun looks like.”
Suzuki stepped forward, hand outstretched. He tripped over his shoes as he approached her, almost falling. Somehow, thankfully, he caught his balance at the last second. Embarrassed, he stuck his hands in his pocket, glanced at his feet, and then back at Beth. “Yeah, I still go outside and shit. Gotta get some exercise from time to time. It’s important. One of the most important—”
Beth crossed the space and hugged Suzuki. She held on to him, and Suzuki hugged her back. They stood there together for a while.
“Bet I know what kind of exercise Suzuki really wants,” Stew whispered to Sandy.
“Shut up.” Sandy elbowed him in the stomach. “They’re cute together in a gross, uncomfortable way.”
The Mundanes grouped around the entrance of the building and stared up at the thousands of windows reflecting the sunlight.
Beth opened the door and stepped through. “Guess even real life comes with castles. Even if they’re made out of steel and glass.” The rest of the Mundanes followed. The building opened to a large foyer filled with an assortment of different people.
The other players of Middang3ard.
Most everyone was still split up into their gaming parties, little clusters of individuals ranging from scraggly zit-riddled teenagers to middle-aged women and frat bros who had seen the terrors of steroid abuse.
The Mundanes waded through the group of parties and looked around at the vast scope of the glass building. Suzuki found that his eyes kept drifting to Beth’s, hoping to make eye contact, but she appeared to be captivated by the majesty of the building’s construction.
“Ahem.”
Myrddin Emrys stood at the top of a crystal escalator. He straightened his tie and stepped forward, his feet not even touching the escalator’s steps. There were gasps throughout the crowd as he floated down what looked like a set of invisible stairs. His eyes were deeply set in his face, and his brow was furrowed and dark.
“That’s a pretty sick hologram,” Stew mused.
Suzuki shook his head as Myrddin floated into the center of the room.
“That’s not a hologram. That’s the real deal. Look, there’s no light refracting from him anywhere. Even the best holograms can’t do that. He’s really floating.” Suzuki’s eyes widened with unbridled excitement.
Stew shrugged, still not shaking off his skepticism. “Or they’re just a fuck-ton more advanced than anyone else.”
Myrddin raised his hands as his feet touched the ground and gave a weak smile. “I am glad to finally see the winners of my…ahhh…experiment.”
