The sun sinks into the deep blue ocean. It casts an orange glow over the beige sand. It’s gorgeous, but it’s nothing compared to Leighton.
“Oh my God, you’re here!” A bouncy voice flows into my ears. Kristen. She steps through a group of older women to greet us. Her cheeks flush as she nods hello to Dean. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He nods back.
She bites her lip as she looks him up and down. He said he rejected her, but not how. He must have made some excuse. Some promise of another time. She’s got that look in her eyes—let me cash in on the other time now.
His expression screws with confusion. This might be the first time he’s ever asked a woman to wait. He’s not exactly—
He’s a manwhore.
It makes him happy. He’s safe. It’s not my business and I like to keep it that way.
Leighton spares us from their awkward stare. “Your dress is cute. Is that the bridesmaid’s dress?”
Kristen twirls. Corral chiffon twirls with her. “No. That’s tomorrow. But it’s not terrible. Penny was specific about the color, but the rest was up to me.”
“Can I see?” Leighton asks.
Kristen shakes her head. “Sworn to secrecy.”
“And the color?” Leighton asks.
Kristen points to the baby pink bouquet lining the buffet table. She winks at Leighton. “Our secret.”
The soft pink flowers are gorgeous.
But they’re the kind of thing Penny hated. Does she still hate them or is this one of the million ways she’s changed?
I don’t know.
And I’m not sure I want to.
“Your dress is great.” Kristen’s gaze fixes on Leighton’s chest. “Bold.”
“Slutty.” Leighton laughs. “I know. Probably not appropriate for this kind of event, but I had to have it when I saw it, and I haven’t had a chance to wear it.”
“It could be good for some role play.” Kristen looks to me curiously, like she’s assessing whether or not I’d be into role play. “I can see it now. James Bond and the femme fatale.”
“Austin Powers,” I say.
Kristen’s nose scrunches with confusion. “Huh. I guess that’s different.”
Leighton laughs. “Inside joke.”
“Oh.” She turns to Dean. “How have you been? Busy?”
“Yeah.” He shoots her a fuck me smile. “But I’m free tonight.” His gaze goes to me. “In theory.”
“Worried Ryan’s going to cry over Penny?” Kristen’s dark eyes fill with regret as she realizes her words. “I mean… Uh… It could happen.”
“Yeah.” Leighton pulls her hand to her side. “It could.”
“I’m sure he’s happier with you. Really, you’re a much better fit than he and Penny were. She was always talking about how it wasn’t right anymore. I mean. Not always. But toward the end.” Kristen’s voice is encouraging. She’s completely unaware she’s saying tactless shit.
Dean laughs. “Should we get a drink?”
“Yeah. Okay.” Her eyes light up. “You know. I’m free tonight too.” She takes his hand, ready to head to the bar.
But Leighton stops her. “Did you ever get that lap dance?”
“Oh. Yeah. I guess you and Ryan left before that. Whatever happened? You seemed upset?” Kristen asked.
“I fucked her senseless,” I say.
Kristen blushes. “Oh. Good. That’s always good.”
“What happened to your boyfriend?” I ask.
She frowns. “Well… I don’t actually… I just said that so you wouldn’t get jealous.”
“So you got the dance?” Leighton asks.
Kristen nods. “Yeah. A little after you left. Your friends—the girl with the short hair and the hot guy. They left. And so it was just me and Dean and Penny and Frank. And this dancer came over in this amazing strappy black outfit. When she offered us a dance, I just had to say yes. It was out of this world.”
“She was fucking jazzed to dance for a woman,” Dean says. “Barely looked at me the whole time.”
“No. She was good about giving both of us attention. It was amazing. I was transfixed. But when it ended, she walked away, and I felt sort of… dirty, I guess. Used, maybe. It was obvious how fake it was. Like a bad porno.” She turns to Dean. “You think?”
He nods. “I only watch amateur stuff.”
Leighton rolls her eyes. “You bring that up five times a day.”
“The world has to know. Homemade or bust.” They share a look. He must decide she’s okay, because he turns and whispers something in Kristen’s ear.
She waves a goodbye then follows him to the bar.
I slide my arm around Leighton’s waist. She leans into my touch, but her gaze stays fuzzy.
I bring my lips to her ear. “Let’s ditch this party. Go back to our room.”
She shakes her head. “I need to show off my dress.” She turns, bringing her neck to my lips.
I nip at her skin.
She tugs at my suit-jacket.
For a moment, everything makes sense. She wants me. I want her. The rest of the world doesn’t matter.
Then that familiar voice floats into my ear. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Penny clears her throat.
Leighton turns to my ex-girlfriend. Her eyes narrow to something protective. “It’s all the swimming. I keep seeing him in his speedo. It’s making me insatiable.”
“You still have that?” Penny laughs. “I didn’t think his mom would talk him into the summer league swim team.”
Leighton taps her heels together. She’s thinking something, hurting over something, but I can’t put the pieces together. She doesn’t want to be here. She doesn’t want to leave.
Does she want me to prove I’m over Penny?
Or does she want me to run a million miles away?
I don’t have a fucking clue.
I turn back to my ex-girlfriend. “No. It’s a new one.”
Leighton laughs. “You intentionally bought a Speedo?”
“You saying it’s not flattering?” I tease.
She shakes her head. “Absolutely not.” Her gaze fixes on Penny. On the rock around her ring finger. “Where’s Frank?”
“He had to see his parents to their hotel room. His mom isn’t well. He’s going to stay with her.” Penny digs her nail into the pad of her thumb. “He’s a gentleman.”
Leighton nods of course. She turns to me. Studies my expression like I’m a design she can’t figure out. “Excuse me. I’m going to get a drink.”
“Of course.” Penny points to the bar behind us. “It’s an open bar.”
“Of course.” Leighton parrots her tone.
“Stay.” My fingers curl into her side.
She shakes her head. “I’m sure you need to talk.”
My body goes cold as she slips from my grasp. She spins on her heels and disappears into the crowd.
Penny stays put. “Is she okay?”
“Do you care?”
“Of course. I want the best for you.”
Leighton’s dress strains against her ass as she leans over the bar. She points to a bottle on a high shelf.
The bartender laughs. His gaze goes right to her tits. He turns away like he can’t bear looking at anything besides her cleavage.
Not that I blame the guy.
Her tits are fucking amazing.
But my fingers are still curling into fists. Who the fuck does this guy think he is flirting with my girlfriend?
Who the fuck does Penny think she is asking if Leighton is okay?
“Really, Ryan. You’re a great guy. You deserve to be happy.” She rests her palm on my forearm.
I pull my arm away. Brush my hair from my eyes. “Thanks.”
“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. I’m not sure where the lines are, right now. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.” She looks around the room and shakes her head. “This doesn’t feel like the night before my wedding.”
“What’s that supp
osed to feel like?”
“I’m not sure anymore.” Her lips curl into a frown. “Frank bailed so quickly. I know his mom is sick. But I hate doing these things alone.”
“If he’s good to her, he’ll be good to you.”
“He is.” She bites her lip. “I just… it’s nice to see you. I swear, you’re the only person here who really knows me.”
“I don’t really know you.”
“Of course you do.”
I nod to the pink flowers at the buffet table. “That isn’t you.”
“I know. This whole thing isn’t me. But it’s already done. The only way I can change any of this is if I run away tonight.”
“You’re nervous. It’s normal.”
“I hope you’re right.” Her eyes fix on mine. They bore into mine. She’s asking for something.
I don’t know what she wants.
But then I don’t care.
Not when Leighton is drinking her feelings at the bar. “Congrats, Pen. Really. You’ll be great tomorrow.”
“Thanks.”
I nod goodbye, turn, make my way to the bar. It’s crowded with guys in suits. Dean and Kristen are nowhere to be seen.
But Leighton is still sitting on the stool on the left.
She brings her glass to her lips and takes a long sip.
“Hey.” I slide between the stools. Place my body next to hers.
She looks up at me. “Hey.” She downs what’s left of her drink in one gulp, slams it on the bar, motions hit me to the bartender.
He leers at her tits as he pours.
“You want something?” She turns toward the bartender. “My boyfriend drinks bourbon.”
He frowns at the word boyfriend. “I’ll hook you up, buddy.”
“Thanks.” She spins on her stool, so she’s facing me. “How’s Penny?”
“Nervous.” I unpeel her fingers from her glass. “How many is that?”
“Three.”
“Maybe you should slow down.”
“Maybe you should drop the condescending tone.”
“You only get one liver.”
“My liver.” She picks up her glass. Takes a long sip. Makes a show of sighing with pleasure. “Perfect.”
My stomach sinks. Something is wrong. But what the fuck is it? “Talk to me, Leigh.”
“What about?”
“Why you’re frowning.”
“I don’t drink that much. You should mind your own business.”
“You’re my business.”
“You wouldn’t say that shit if you didn’t know my mom’s a drunk.”
“I do know.” I run my fingers along her jawline. “I fucking love that I know. I love when you let me in.”
Her brow softens. The frustration in her eyes fades to affection. “Ryan, I…”
“Best shit we got.” The bartender interrupts with my bourbon.
She presses her lips together. Swallows whatever she was about to say. Holds up her glass. “Now we can toast.”
“What to?”
“The end of this.”
I lift my glass. Clink it against hers. Drink.
It’s good bourbon, but it doesn’t go down easy. It burns my throat. Twists my stomach. Sends my thoughts to ugly places.
“You think Dean took Kristen home?” she asks.
“He told me he didn’t fuck her.”
“What?” She arches a brow. “No way.”
“Said he couldn’t get over how she stood by Penny.”
“Damn.” She takes a long sip. “He’s admitting he has feelings again. This is an alarming trend.”
“Probably good for him.”
She nods yeah. “She’s still looking at you.” Leighton motions to Penny, in the middle of the room, talking to her dad and—
Fuck. That’s my mom.
He catches us staring. Waves.
“Fuck.” I down the rest of my bourbon.
Leighton turns to me with a curious expression. “Huh?”
“That’s my mom.”
“Oh.” She stares at the conversation. “It is.”
Mom waves. She turn and makes her way toward us.
Leighton laughs. “You’re nervous.”
“Yeah.” I set my glass on the bar. “Another when you get a second.”
The bartender nods sure thing. He stares at Leighton’s tits as he refills me. “You need one too, sweetheart?”
She stares at her glass like it’s the hardest question she’s ever heard. “Yeah. Sure.” She throws her head back to finish her drink then sets it on the bar.
He smiles as he refills her. He’s practically screaming get rid of this loser and come home with me.
I slide my arms around her reflexively.
My lips go to her ear. “Talk to me, baby.”
“Not here.”
“Ryan. You look great.” Mom taps me on the shoulder. “This must be your girlfriend.”
I release Leighton. “Leighton, yeah. You two have met.”
“Of course.” Mom smiles as she opens her arms for a hug. “What a dress! I wish I could pull off something like that.”
Leighton shoots me an is she for real look then goes to hug my mom. “Thank you, Mrs. Maddox.”
“Please. It’s Amelia.” She smiles. “It’s sweet of you to come.”
“Is it?” She wraps her fingers around her drink. “I couldn’t let Ryan come alone.”
“No. I suppose you couldn’t.” Mom turns to me. “Tell me the truth, honey. Was she the one who got you into this suit?”
“Yeah.” I slide my arm around her waist. “She’s the one who opened up my entire world.”
Leighton shakes her head. “That’s more credit than I deserve.”
“No. It’s less.” I pull her closer. “You’re my silver lining.”
Mom rests her hand on her heart. “How sweet. You two work together, yes?”
“For a little longer. I’m leaving to start my own graphic design studio,” Leighton says.
“She’s amazing. Better than I am,” I say.
“Really? That’s quite an accomplishment. Ryan is talented,” Mom says.
Huh?
“He really is. But then he never doubts that. He knows he’s a great designer. He knows he’s hot. But he doubts everything else,” Leighton says.
“We all have our insecurities.” Mom’s expression gets concerned.
“I know what you’re thinking. She’s drunk. It’s true. I’m a little drunk. I have a bad habit of downing vodka when I’m nervous. Like about the way Penny keeps flirting with Ryan. And the way he keeps looking at her like he’s trying to figure out if she’s what’s missing from his life.” She takes a long sip of her vodka. “I get it. My mom’s a drunk. It’s what gave me all these intimacy issues that make it hard to believe Ryan’s going to be mine. But I am working on it. The drinking.”
Mom’s brow scrunches with confusion.
“Let me take you back to the room, baby.” I help her off the stool.
She shakes her head. “No. I just need some air. And I need to stop causing a scene. Excuse me.” She cuts past me before I can answer.
I reach for her, but she’s already gone.
Flashes of silver and purple move through the crowd. Out the door.
“Ryan, is that true?” Mom asks.
“Which part?”
“Are you still in love with Penelope?”
“No. But…” I can’t explain it. Whatever I am, it’s not enough for Leighton.
Fuck.
This is the same shit again.
“It must be hard, figuring out how to love someone after the way you and Penelope ended.” Mom places her hand on my shoulder. “The same thing happened to me when I was young. Before your father.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Dean explained it. Don’t be mad at your brother. He loves you—”
“He told you she cheated?”
“Not in lurid detail.”
“It’s
Dean.”
“With more detail than we needed, yes. We were defending her. Asking why you’d do something so foolish. He was right to explain.”
“It was mine to explain.”
“No. He cares about you. That’s what happens when you love someone. Their business becomes your business.”
I bite my tongue.
“You know your brother looks up to you. He always has.”
“Maybe.”
“He’s been following in your footsteps since he could walk.”
Maybe.
“Forgive Dean. He’s only trying to help.” Mom’s eyes fill with pity. “And her too. Leighton seems good for you.”
“She seems like a drunk mess.” I shake my head. “She is that sometimes. But she’s more. She’s everything.”
“I can tell you love her.”
Why can’t I tell?
It’s not fucking fair.
Why is it all these other people know how I feel?
Mom’s lips curl into a frown. “You shouldn’t be here Ryan. Your father convinced me I shouldn’t talk you out of coming, but that was a mistake. You shouldn’t be spending your time and energy on someone who did that to you.”
“I’m not here for Penny.” My gaze goes to the restaurant’s front door. Leighton isn’t coming back. Which means I need to leave. “It feels good wanting this for Pen. Being happy for her.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
Almost.
But there’s still a part of me that hates it.
“Listen, Mom, I have to—”
“Go.”
I cut through the restaurant. Push out the door.
But there’s no sign of Leighton.
Chapter 42
Ryan
Leighton isn’t in the lobby.
She isn’t in our room.
She’s not lounging on a deck chair by the pool. Or strolling along the garden path. Or sucking sugar syrup from a shaved ice.
My dress shoes sink onto the sand as I step off the concrete path.
There.
Moonlight bounces off a silver dress.
She’s sitting on the beach, her legs pulled into her chest, her gaze on the starry sky.
I move closer.
The fear in her eyes comes into focus.
She pulls her hands to her sides. Lets them sink into the dry sand. “It’s beautiful here.”
“Yeah.”
“More stars than I’ve ever seen.”
Pretend You're Mine Page 29
