The door was slightly ajar, and she pushed it open a little further, taking a few minutes to adjust her eyesight to the warm orange glow from the small night-light, making out a figure sitting in the rocking-chair in one corner, a blond head nestled against the darkness of Aaron’s shirt. Aaron nodded as he stood up to put the baby in his cot; Charly hurried downstairs.
She was in the kitchen when she became aware that Aaron had joined her, the nervousness that she had been fighting all day creeping over her. ‘Molly thought that was a secret,’ she murmured, checking on the potatoes she had put on to cook.
‘Singing Tommy to sleep?’ He lounged against a cupboard. ‘Matt found out about it a long time ago, but he didn’t let Molly know he knew.’
‘It would have ruined it for her,’ Charly nodded.
‘Yes. But Matt thought I ought to know about it.’
‘I was just coming to tell you.’
‘Charly, can’t you even look at me?’ he coaxed.
Her back stiffened. ‘No,’ she answered honestly.
‘We can’t go on like this,’ Aaron sighed.
‘No,’ she acknowledged huskily.
‘Charly—’
‘I’m doing this for Molly and Matt.’ She avoided his hands as he would have reached for her. ‘There’s nothing that says I have to enjoy it!’
‘The children—’
‘Will know no tension from me.’ Her eyes were silver as she at last looked at him. ‘I’m not as insensitive as you seem to think I am!’
‘Charly, we have to talk about the other night,’ he insisted firmly. ‘Maybe we were a little hasty—’
‘I wasn’t the one that was hasty. And there was no maybe about it,’ she told him coldly.
‘After watching you with the kids tonight I think perhaps you’re right,’ he sighed wearily. ‘I was hasty. You obviously adore children and they adore you.’
She just looked at him, still too emotionally aroused by the accusations he had made concerning Stephanie, completely bewildered by the way she had totally lost control afterwards and beat at him with her fists; she had never done anything like that before, not even when she had first learnt of James’ affairs.
‘Charly, I’m sorry about what I said concerning your daughter.’ He looked at her worriedly as she still didn’t speak. ‘Whatever your husband was doing with her that day I’m sure—’
‘He was taking her away,’ she revealed flatly. ‘As you said he was.’
‘I don’t believe it—’
She gave a scornful laugh. ‘Do you always react this way when told you were right?’
Aaron frowned. ‘You weren’t an unfit mother—’
‘I didn’t say I was,’ she rasped. ‘Just that James was taking Stephanie away from me.
‘Why?’
‘Dinner is ready,’ she told him briskly.
‘Why, Charly?’ He grasped her arms, forcing her to look at him.
‘He wanted a divorce.’
‘And you wouldn’t give him one?’
‘No.’
‘So he took your daughter away from you?’
She avoided his eyes. ‘For good,’ she said abruptly.
‘I knew they both died in the accident but—Do you think he deliberately killed them both?’ Aaron said disbelievingly.
She didn’t correct the assumption he had made that Stephanie had died in the accident with James, those months of watching her daughter slowly die still too painful to talk about. ‘I’m sure he didn’t; he liked life too much for that.’
‘Charly, will you talk to me?’ Aaron requested softly. ‘I have a feeling a lot of my other accusations could be explained away as easily,’ he said self-derisively.
It would be so easy to talk to this man, to tell him everything, but her emotions were still bruised, her feelings for him still something she was frightened to acknowledge even to herself.
She looked at him coldly. ‘I am not in the habit of explaining myself to anyone, and I’m certainly not going to start with you!’
He gave a pained wince. ‘All right, Mrs Hart,’ he drawled. ‘I won’t push you. But you—or Charly—will talk to me one day. And in the meantime I’m not going to jump to conclusions any more. I’m not naturally a jealous person,’ he derided. ‘It must be something you alone bring out in me.’
Jealousy? To feel jealousy surely he had to care? Did that mean she cared about him too; she had felt jealousy until she knew who Erin was!
‘Would you watch the steaks for a moment?’ she requested abruptly. ‘I think I hear Lucy calling.’
Aaron frowned. ‘I didn’t hear anything.’
Neither had she, but she couldn’t stay in the same room with him at this moment, was too shaken by the realisation that she did love this man!
But loving someone didn’t solve any of the problems that love caused. She had loved once before, unhappily, and she had no reason to think it would be any different with Aaron, didn’t think he was a better choice than James had been.
The trouble was she hadn’t chosen to love Aaron. If she had had a choice it would be not to love any man ever again. She had known enough pain in her life already, and she had no reason to suppose loving Aaron would be any better than loving James.
She watched Aaron warily once she returned from seeing to a quite undisturbed Lucy, but he seemed determined to be charming, talking to her about his New York childhood, his happy homelife with his happily married parents.
She liked listening to him, and hadn’t realised how late it was until he stood up stretching tiredly.
‘It’s been a long week,’ he sighed at her questioning look.
‘Please, go up to bed.’ She stood up too. ‘I’ll just tidy our cups away.’
‘Charly—’
She flinched as he touched her. ‘I don’t know what your plans were for tonight,’ she rasped, ‘but I hope they didn’t include me.’
His mouth twisted. ‘The trouble at the moment is that all of my plans include you,’ he derided. ‘Before I do anything I find myself asking “Will Charly like it?”, “Will she approve?”.’
The colour left her cheeks. ‘I won’t approve if you try to get me to go to bed with you.’
‘I haven’t said or done anything to imply I would do such a thing,’ he chided.
‘You haven’t needed to!’ she told him shakily. ‘I can’t, Aaron,’ she choked.
‘I know.’ He touched her cheek gently. ‘What woman could after the things I’ve said to you?’
‘It isn’t just that—’
‘I do understand, Charly,’ he assured her softly. ‘Which is why I’m going up to bed now. Alone.’
She smiled her relief that he didn’t try and force the matter, knowing that if he had she wouldn’t have been able to resist.
‘Which isn’t to say I’m not going to kiss you good night,’ he groaned, bending his head.
She was caught off-guard, her lips opening to his, her arms going slowly about his waist. It was a long drugging kiss of deep sensuality, and Charly felt herself sway slightly as he released her.
‘Good night,’ he said huskily, walking to the door. He turned before leaving. ‘Congratulations on the Shevton House deal, by the way,’ he told her admiringly.
She gave him a startled look as he strolled out of the room and up the stairs. Her acquisition of the property had been made final only that morning, but as the other interested party she felt sure Aaron had known about it almost immediately. And yet he had chosen not to mention it until now. Why now?
She followed him up the stairs, knocking on the door of the room Molly had told her had been made up for them, the room Matt had told her she could use further down the corridor. ‘Aaron, I—’ He had instructed her to enter after her knock, but she froze in the doorway; he must hold some sort of record for undressing, stark naked as he stood across the room from her, taking his time about picking up his brown robe and pulling it on. She swallowed hard, affected by the lithe beauty of his
body in spite of herself. ‘Why didn’t you mention Shevton House earlier?’ Her voice sounded slightly higher than it usually did.
He shrugged. ‘There was nothing else to say about it; you got it.’
She looked at him warily. ‘You aren’t angry?’
‘Business is business.’ He shrugged again.
‘Oh.’ She frowned her consternation. ‘Good night, then.’
‘Good night,’ he drawled.
Charly was still frowning as she reached her own room. The acquisition of Shevton House had seemed very important to him earlier in the week, that had been one of the reasons she had been determined to get a quick decision on the deal herself, and now Aaron acted as if he hadn’t cared if he got it or not. Even loving him she didn’t trust him.
CHAPTER NINE
SHE still didn’t trust him the next day as he set out to be charming to both her and the children. He took them all shopping, then out to lunch, holding Tommy on his knee as he fed him the food he was able to eat.
Charly knew that to anyone looking at them they must look like a normal family out on a shopping trip. And the feeling filled her with disquiet. She didn’t want a husband or a family again, and yet Aaron and the children made it seem possible.
‘A good day, huh?’ Aaron smiled as they sat down together for a few minutes after the children had been put to bed.
‘You’re very good with children,’ she said non-committally.
‘I love them,’ he nodded.
‘Lucy and Tommy are—’
‘Not just Lucy and Tommy,’ he shook his head. ‘I love all kids.’
‘Ah yes,’ her mouth twisted. ‘You told Molly we would have three or four!’
‘And I intend to,’ he nodded.
‘Not with me,’ she scoffed.
Aaron shrugged. ‘With whoever I marry.’
‘Don’t you think you would have to discuss that with her first?’ Charly bristled at his arrogance.
‘Most women want children.’
‘But most women would also like the choice about having them!’
‘If I don’t get married it won’t really matter will it,’ he dismissed.
She heartily disliked the thought of Aaron marrying or having any kind of permanent relationship with another woman. She had kept love out of her life for so long and now it was ripping her to pieces!
‘How about you?’ he eyed her curiously. ‘Do you really not intend marrying again?’
‘Maybe if the right man came along I might—’ She broke off as she realised what she had said, shock widening her grey eyes.
‘Charly—Damn,’ Aaron scowled as the telephone began to ring. ‘I bet it’s Molly again to see if we’ve put the offspring to bed properly!’ He reached for the receiver with a rueful shrug, Molly having telephoned four times this weekend already. ‘Yes, Molly,’ he raised his eyebrows at Charly, the two of them sharing a moment of laughter together.
Charly went into the kitchen to begin preparing their dinner while Aaron related all the details of the day to Molly. She kept herself busy, determinedly not dwelling on what she had said about marrying again. She almost had the meal ready by the time Aaron joined her ten minutes later.
‘I’m sure not all mothers can be that concerned,’ he grimaced.
She smiled. ‘They are. I remember—’ She broke off again in confusion. She never talked about her beloved daughter, the memories too painful!
‘Yes?’ Aaron prompted softly, his gaze compelling. ‘Tell me about your daughter, Charly.’
‘There’s nothing to tell,’ she said abruptly, carrying their dinner through to the dining-room, her appetite completely gone.
‘She was part of you,’ Aaron pursued relentlessly. ‘There must be something to say.’
She swallowed hard, tears flooding her eyes. ‘I—She was a lovely little girl,’ she began again. ‘She hadn’t even begun to live.’ Anger entered her voice, her body rigid with tension. ‘That—that bastard—’
‘James?’
‘Yes,’ she hissed, beyond thinking now, all the resentment and pain she had harboured towards James the last year released as the torrent of words flooded out. ‘Give him Hartall Industries, he said,’ she no longer even saw Aaron, locked in her own private hell, ‘and he wouldn’t fight to keep Stephanie. But I couldn’t do that,’ she told Aaron pleadingly. ‘Hartall belonged to Stephanie, it was her inheritance. He wanted to divorce me and marry my cousin Jocelyn, but if they had had children Stephanie would have got nothing. I couldn’t agree to disinheriting her,’ she told Aaron again chokingly.
‘So he took her.’
‘Yes.’ She shuddered as she remembered the horrific scene when James had taken Stephanie from her. ‘He destroyed her because I wouldn’t agree to what he wanted.’
‘I thought you said it wasn’t deliberate?’
‘It wasn’t,’ she rasped. ‘But he still killed her. She would never have been with him that day if he hadn’t wanted to punish me.’
‘Surely you would have got Stephanie if you had gone to court for her?’ Aaron frowned.
‘I was not an unfit mother—’
‘I know that,’ he soothed her. ‘I know that, Charly,’ he encouraged.
‘I might have got custody of her,’ she sighed. ‘But then again I might not. James had always been a good father, and the courts always take that into consideration nowadays. But none of that really mattered, because James knew that I would never put it to the test, that I would give him everything just to get Stephanie back. I never had the chance,’ she choked.
‘Charly, it wasn’t your fault,’ Aaron told her softly.
She froze. ‘What do you mean?’ she rasped. ‘Of course it wasn’t my fault.’
‘You blame yourself for what happened—’
‘I do not!’
‘And it’s only natural that you feel partly responsible,’ he continued remorselessly. ‘You and James argued, he took Stephanie—’
‘I do not blame myself—’ She stopped as her voice broke emotionally, giving up all pretence as sobs wracked her slender body. ‘God, yes I do!’ she cried. ‘I should have agreed to what he wanted, should have let him have Hartall, as long as he left Stephanie alone.’ She spilled out the guilt that had been haunting her the last year, not questioning how Aaron knew of that guilt; he seemed to know things about her she wouldn’t admit to herself!
‘Charly, you have to stop blaming yourself,’ he held her close against his chest, smoothing her hair with soothing motions.
‘But I could have saved her!’ she choked.
‘You couldn’t!’ He crushed her to him. ‘It was all an accident. James only meant to punish you a little by taking Stephanie, he didn’t mean either of them to get killed. You know that!’
‘Yes. But—’
‘Honey, you can’t go on giving yourself this punishment.’ He looked down at her with gentle eyes. ‘You can’t continue to live behind that wall where you don’t allow emotions to touch you. Charly, you have to allow me to touch you.’
She knew he didn’t mean physically. ‘No!’ she recoiled.
‘Lady, I understand why you’ve been acting the way you have, I even understand why you choose men like Matt and Anderson; neither of them are a threat to your real emotions. But I’m a threat, and I’m going to go on being one until you can accept that it’s me you want.’
He still believed she was involved with Matt and Ian! He had guessed so much else about her, had even realised what no one else had—that she blamed herself for the accident that had taken Stephanie from her. And yet he still didn’t realise that she had kept all men at a distance except him.
Before she could answer him there was a cry from upstairs. ‘Tommy?’ he frowned.
She shook her head, moving swiftly out of his arms. ‘It’s Lucy.’ She ran up the stairs.
The little girl was sitting up in bed crying, seeming to cry even harder as Charly entered the room.
‘Darling, what is it?�
� She cuddled the little girl to her, shooting a worried frown at Aaron as he stood in the doorway. ‘Lucy?’ she prompted gently.
‘When are Mummy and Daddy coming home?’ she sobbed.
‘Soon,’ she crooned, the novelty of having her parents away obviously having faded for Lucy.
‘When?’
‘Tomorrow. Lucy—’
‘I want Mummy,’ the little girl wailed.
‘She’ll be home tomorrow, darling,’ Charly continued to hold her. ‘I bet she’ll bring you a present too.’ She already knew Molly had bought the children a toy each.
Blue eyes widened, the tears ceasing although she continued to sob gently. ‘You think so?’
‘I’m sure of it,’ she smiled warmly. ‘Now what happened? Did you have a bad dream?’
‘Yes,’ the little girl mumbled into Charly’s neck. ‘Will you stay with me until I’m asleep?’ she pleaded.
‘Of course,’ Charly assured her, looking ruefully at Aaron.
He nodded, quietly leaving the room before Lucy became aware of his presence.
She sat on the bed for over an hour, Lucy determined not to go back to sleep, forcing herself to stay awake every time she seemed in danger of drifting off to sleep. Charly sat with her patiently, had often done the same with Stephanie, leaving it ten more minutes or so even after she was sure Lucy had fallen asleep before leaving the room, not wanting to disturb the little girl.
Aaron was in the lounge when she got downstairs, a glass of whisky in his hand. ‘All right now?’
‘Yes.’ She avoided his eyes. ‘I’ll go and clear away in the dining-room. Would you like me to make you something else?’ Neither of them had eaten earlier!
‘I’ve done it,’ he told her abruptly. ‘And I couldn’t eat a thing.’ He looked at her with dark eyes. ‘You should have children of your own, Charly.’
‘No—’
‘My children,’ he continued determinedly.
She paled, swallowing hard. ‘You’re talking of marriage?’
‘Yes.’ He looked at her steadily.
Lady Surrender Page 13
