by Leela Ash
She took a cab home, seriously dreading the thought of taking public transportation right before she was going to prepare a meal. She needed some time to herself to think about what she was doing. What was she even going to say to him? Everything had been so messed up between them for so long. It seemed silly to try and correct things now, if not impossible. They were just going to have to play the situation by ear, and deal with whatever happened as it happened. There was no preplanning for something like this.
She stopped by the store to pick up a few things before finally heading home. As soon as she walked through the door, the phone rang and startled her so badly she nearly dropped the groceries. She was almost afraid to pick it up, worried that maybe it was Max telling her he had changed his mind and he wasn’t going to come over after all.
That was a confusing feeling, because if he would have declined, it would have let her off the hook and she would have been able to relax. Wouldn’t things have been better if they had simply ignored each other? And yet, somehow, it was devastating to think he would call to cancel. Why were these things so complicated?
When she answered the phone, her voice was wavering, and she was relieved when she heard the sound of her mother’s impatient sigh and then a quick hello.
“Mom, what do you need? I’m kind of busy right now. I have something to take care of tonight.”
“I was just calling to remind you that tomorrow is my dentist appointment. It would be nice if you could come with me, in case I’m in too much pain to drive.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s on my calendar. I’ll be there to pick you up in the morning. Oh shit, actually, my car is messed up. Maybe I should come over and take your car.”
“Yeah, that would be fine,” her mom said. “But it would probably be easier if I picked you up. You could drive home if you need to.”
“Sure, that sounds good. Good night, Mom.”
“Good night, honey.”
They hung up, and Sadie took a deep breath. She was going to have to try to center herself a little more than this if she was going to have Max over that evening. Maybe cooking would help.
And so, she immersed herself fully and completely into the task of making Max’s favorite shifter dish. He had lost his parents at a very young age, mostly because they were violent and unpredictable, and had left him needing a more stable influence. That hadn’t happened, and he had run away to live on his own, doing what he could to raise himself from the time he was about fifteen years old.
She had heard tell that he was quite the hooligan, but he had managed to make up for his cloudy past by becoming the leder of his pack. And yet, he hadn’t been able to manage the responsibility. It wasn’t that he was a bad leader. In fact, he was an incredible leader. But it was obvious he was unhappy in his role.
That didn’t make a difference right now. He was coming over to her house, and they were going to share a meal together. That meant there was going to be some kind of conversation she probably wasn’t ready for. And yet, she’d had about fifteen years to prepare for this moment. They had been young when they had met, and they thought their love was something special that might last forever.
But when he had been driven out of town, everything had fallen apart and they had never quite managed to pick up the pieces again. Was this their chance? She wouldn’t know until he arrived. And so, with the food in the oven, Sadie went up to her bedroom to change and attempt to prepare herself for what was bound to be one of the most terrifying nights of her life.
7.
“Sadie. Wow.”
Max gaped at her before she let him inside. She looked as if she had just walked off the set of a movie. Humans rarely had the captivating features that made a wolf shifter look twice, but when they did, they were hooked. The wolf within him was desperate to stake its claim on her; it was almost as if no time at all had passed. The wolf clearly didn’t know any difference, and the surprise and excitement that was radiating from Sadie’s body was a good indication that some part of her was feeling the same way.
“Max, come in,” she said quickly, stepping out of the way to allow Max to step inside. He was overwhelmed by her scent once the door closed behind him. When they had dated before, he had been forced to pick her up at the house she had shared with her mother. That meant she smelled more of a pack, like her mother.
Now, though, she was on her own, and everything in the house seemed to smell of her. Max’s body tensed up, and he suddenly felt angry. What the hell was he doing here? If she had given any sort of care for him, why would she have waited until they literally had to run into each other on the street to contact him? He had written to her so many times and had never heard a damn word from her. What was he doing there?
“Smells good in here,” Max mumbled.
He still couldn’t quite get over the delicious scent of Sadie. The memory of her body against his – his entire being consumed by every most intimate part of her – washed over him, to the point where he wanted nothing more than to either take her right then or get the hell out of her house. It was impossible to tell which one he would benefit from the most.
“Thanks,” Sadie said, oblivious to the fact he was speaking about her scent and nothing else. “I have been working hard on getting this food done for you. It’s been a while since I made it, but hopefully, you like it…”
Max’s expression softened as he suddenly detected the scent of his favorite wolf shifter dish, Therda. It was the one thing he had remembered from being a child, before his grandparents had died and he still believed he was a part of a loving family. He had been too young to know better.
He had told Sadie about it during one of the few rare moments when he was willing to open up to her. He was reminiscing about the way his grandmother had cooked for him, and apparently, she had taken it to heart because, the next weekend, she had surprised him with a perfect rendition of his grandmother’s recipe. And that’s what she was making right now.
“I’m sure it will be great,” Max said, tearing himself away from the memory. It had been so long ago. It wouldn’t do him any good to get swept away by the past. Especially if she was still furious with him the way she had been the last time they had spoken with each other. Before the Vex pack had driven him out of town.
“Well, why don’t you come in and make yourself comfortable,” Sadie said, clearing her throat. “It won’t be done for a few more minutes. No sense in standing here like a stranger or something. Let’s go sit down.”
“Sure,” Max said, stepping forward a little too enthusiastically. Sadie smiled shyly at him, and they were soon sitting in her cozy living room. She had brought out a kettle of tea and they were sipping at it quietly, both of them seemingly lost for what to say or do next. How could they possibly pick up where they had left off when the history between them had been so messy?
Well, Max was the man here. It was up to him to lead things. It would probably be the best strategy to keep things casual. If she wanted to delve into everything, he would let her do it on her own time. What could they even say?
“So, how do you like your job at the post office?” Max asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Oh, it’s all right. But you know how it is. It isn’t my passion. It’s just something my mother pushed me into because it’s steady and reliable and it pays okay.”
“I always imagined you would be doing something with numbers,” Max said with a chuckle. “More profound than reading addresses all day long.”
“Yeah… well, most places don’t take you seriously if you don’t have some kind of college education. And you know how much I liked school.”
Max chuckled. Sadie was the smartest woman he had ever met. But she hadn’t been in her element when it came to schoolwork. She was brilliant and liked to do things her own way, but the teachers had always managed to make the subject matter dull and unengaging. But he knew she had a great head on her shoulders if anybody was willing to give her half a chance.
Unf
ortunately, Stonybrooke was stuck in its ways and had become a booming economic hub in the past thirty years. They wanted people who were going to be valuable assets to their companies.
Shifterswere already unlikely to hire humans as it was, let alone humans who didn’t have the discipline to go through the rigors of university. It was a shame, really, but that was the way things were. There was no point in challenging them. That never amounted to anything good.
A timer rang and broke into Max’s thoughts. Sadie jumped up and beamed at him, the shining expression on her face bringing his heart into his throat.
“It’s ready,” Sadie said. “Come on, Max. Let’s go eat.”
8.
Sadie gazed at Max from across the table as he ate enthusiastically. It was good to see him enjoying the food; it helped her feel a little less nervous about having him there. Who knew how long it had been since he’d been able to get his hands on home-cooked shifter food that he didn’t make himself, let alone his favorite?
“I haven’t had this since the last time you made it for me,” Max said finally, wiping his mouth with a napkin and sighing heartily. “It brings back memories.”
Sadie froze. It was almost as if he had read her thoughts and answered her question. It wasn’t the first time things like that had happened with Max. He always seemed to be on her wavelength. It was something she had never experienced with the other men she had tried to date after him. None of them had truly connected with her, and she found herself feeling more miserable than happy with each of them, for one reason or another.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” she said quietly.
Their eyes met from across the table, and Sadie’s heart panged hard in her chest. Max was exactly as she remembered him. At least, almost. Shifters aged remarkably well, and Max, in particular, had always had a sort of wizened look about him, as if he were older than he really was. Now, the maturity in his eyes was finally beginning to match the chiseled features of his broad, strong face and his muscular body.
He had matured, that was for sure, and she suddenly felt self-conscious. Did shifters think human women deteriorated when they got older rather than gaining in beauty the way the shifters seemed to? Would Max ever be able to be attracted to her again?
The fear in her heart seemed unshakeable, but Max suddenly smiled. It was a kind, reassuring smile. A look that told her that no matter what she was thinking, everything was going to be all right. It sent a warm feeling coursing through her body, one that made her long for a time when things between them were simple.
“You still have that old porch swing?” Max asked suddenly, his deep voice cutting through her in a way that made her wonder just how much self-control she really had. “I know it was at your mom’s house, but she was always complaining about how much she hated that old thing.”
“Actually, I do,” Sadie said, laughing quietly to herself. “She was going to get rid of it, so I scavenged it from her curb before the trash men had a chance to take it. I couldn’t bear to part with it, there were just so many memories…”
“Yeah, there were.”
Again, their eyes locked and an unbridled surge of heat consumed her. They’d shared their first kiss on that swing… and a few first other things as well. The memories of how right it felt to be near his body nearly made her lose her self-control. She couldn’t let her mind wander to that place, though. They could hardly even maintain a casual conversation together. What would they do if they gave into ancient feelings that would only just complicate things further?
“Why don’t we go out and sit for a bit then?” Max said, his voice deep and strained. She wished she was as good at reading him as he was at reading her. “I could use some fresh air.”
“That sounds good,” Sadie said. It might help to ease her anxiety if she was able to sit outside. With Max in the house with her like this, it somehow made every room seem smaller.
“Good.”
Max stood, and Sadie looked down at her hands for a moment before clearing the table and following him out the back door.
“Come on, Sade,” Max said, sitting down. The porch swing groaned under his weight and he patted the seat beside him. “For old time’s sake.”
Sadie’s heart leapt to her throat, and she knew she should resist, but her feet carried her forward despite her trepidation.
“All right,” she said quietly. “Just for a while…”
9.
Being outside the house helped Max relax a little more than he would ever have been able to being inside Sadie’s home. He could handle her scent in small doses, the familiar feeling of sitting beside her and smelling her scent on the breeze… But being consumed by her scent in the house was nearly driving him insane.
“I hope everything was to your liking…”
Sadie’s soft voice was quiet; shy in a way. It reminded him of the way she had spoken on their first date. He had been thrilled when she had agreed to go out with him, and her timidity had only made her all the more appealing to him. Now, they were in nearly the same situation, and he found himself wishing there was some way for him to get over the hurdle that was preventing them from moving forward. It was time to have the hard conversation. No matter how vulnerable and awful it was going to be.
“I’ve missed you, you know,” Max said finally. It was the understatement of the century, but it was a place to start, nonetheless.
“Really?” Sadie asked, looking at him with an expression on her face that was difficult for him to pinpoint. Usually, it was easy for him to hone in on her emotions, but they were so all over the place that it was impossible to tell what it was she really felt.
“Yeah,” Max said, sighing inwardly. Of course, this would come as a surprise to her. Sadie had already more than moved on. She hated his guts. The fact that they were sitting here together was basically a funny fluke; a joke the universe was playing on him so he would really have the point driven in to him that he would never be able to have a true family.
“What’s it like to be back after so long?” Sadie asked, shifting in her seat.
“It’s bizarre, you know. Everything’s the same, but it’s also really different,” Max said quietly. “I almost wish I would have stayed where I was. Ever since what happened with my parents, I don’t think I take change very well.”
Sadie laughed softly.
“No… I don’t think you do either.”
Max grinned and shook his head. “You always knew me better than anybody else. It’s so strange how everything has changed.”
“Are you seeing somebody?” Sadie asked abruptly. “Because if you are, you should work harder to let them in. It’s been this long already. You deserve to be with somebody who understands you.”
Max prickled. She sure was glib about it all. Did Sadie seriously expect him to get over her just like that? She had broken his heart into about a thousand pieces and hadn’t even bothered to write back to him, and now she was telling him, in no uncertain terms, that it was time for him to move on. What the hell had he been thinking when he had accepted her invitation? Why did he delude himself into thinking he had a chance in hell to make things right?
“No,” Max said rigidly. “I’m not seeing anybody. I’ve been with a girl here or there, but nothing that took. I guess I’m just too much of a loner.”
Sadie smiled. “I’m not really surprised about that. You always had such high standards…”
“And you met them,” Max said, a sudden sternness in his voice.
Sadie seemed startled by the statement, and for a brief moment, Max regretted letting the words slip from his tongue. But the flicker in Sadie’s eyes stopped him from apologizing, both to himself and to her.
“I didn’t think I did,” Sadie said softly, looking down at her hands. The tone of her voice made Max second-guess his own feelings. He wanted to gather her close to his body the way he once had and feel the soft brush of her lips against his own. Why was he bitter or angry at her when the situation h
ad been horrible for both of them? He had been an insufferable idiot, and she had been right not to put up with him. At least, to a point.
Still, she had driven him away harshly, and he had learned, long ago, to take a person at their word. When she had gone off on him that fateful night, she had cut him more deeply than he had ever been cut by anybody since his parents had abandoned him. He had needed a long time to recover from the wounds her tongue had lashed onto his body, but once he had, he had realized that most of what she had said was truth. That was when he began writing to her… letter after unanswered letter… leaving him feeling worse off than he had been if he had just heeded her advice and forgotten her once and for all.
“You were everything I needed, Sade,” Max said, holding her gaze in his dark, serious eyes. She was staring at him now, her beautiful eyes clear and concerned. “I never needed anybody but you. My last few years in Stonybrooke were the best of my entire life, and that was because of you.”
Sadie gasped softly, staring at Max as though seeing him for the first time. The wolf within him stirred, and he could sense the heat rising in her body as he reached out to her slowly, caressing her face, and holding her hand in his own. She shuddered under his touch, as if she had been waiting for it just as long as he had. The heady scent of arousal immediately electrified the wolf into wakefulness, and suddenly, there was no self-control left for Max any longer. He was succumbing to his deepest, most carnal desires, and the man within him was gone, only to be replaced by the very beast Sadie had claimed she never wanted to see again.
