“But I can’t give her what she’ll need. I can’t open my heart again, not after everything Rebecca put me through.” Reaper wasn’t sure if that was true anymore. Amber had already somehow wiggled her way into a piece of his heart. It would take no time at all for her to completely consume it.
“Amber is not Rebecca. That bitch knew nothing of war. She understood nothing about the sacrifices we made to ensure the safety of this country,” Sledge retorted. “The bitch was wrong. You were not a murderer; you were a damn soldier. You fought for a country that most often than not, forgets that it was people like you, people like me, who sacrifice every damn day so they can have the privilege of sleeping soundly at night.”
“I keep seeing her. I’m laid up in that fucking hospital bed and she walks into the room,” Reaper explains, remembering the day Rebecca ruined him. “Her face. The look on it confused me. I thought she would be happy, but she had a look of disgust. I couldn’t figure out why she was looking at me like that. So I asked,” Reaper looked to his friend for help.
“I know man,” Sledge said, placing a reassuring hand on Reaper’s shoulder.
“She said that it was all over TV. That our unit blew up an elementary school filled with children. She called me a baby killer. Said she could never be with someone who could so coldly murder children for a living.” Feeling drained, Reaper collapsed on the bench. “I know we weren’t the ones who blew the school. I know, it was empty. I know that, but.”
“It’s time to let it go Z,” Sledge’s voice was filled with sympathy.
“I can’t!” Reaper barked. “Don’t you understand that? It won’t let me forget. My fucking head won’t let me forget any of it.”
“Listen. Don’t make Amber pay for Rebecca’s mistakes. If you can’t grow the fuck up and be the man I know you can be, then stay the hell away from my sister. Amber has been hurt enough, man. She sure as shit doesn’t need it from a guy I promised would protect her,” Sledge said in frustration.
Reaper would have rather had Sledge take a swing at him. Instead, he saw compassion and hurt reflecting back at him. Emotions that Reaper didn’t want.
“At least your sister was a good fuck,” Reaper retorted, knowing that would give him the fight he needed.
“Don’t be a prick.” Smashing his fist into Reaper’s injured arm, Sledge walked out of the gym, slamming the door as he went.
Reaper stood there, lost. He watched as a new trail of blood moved down his arm and dripped to the floor. He didn’t care though. He deserved it.
Amber would want answers. She’d want to be let into his life, and that wasn’t something Reaper was willing to do. He just couldn’t. Rebecca had ruined him, but he was alive. Amber, she was a different story. Reaper knew she would kill him.
Chapter Fourteen
Amber
Amber woke to the sun shining into the room. She reached over towards Zander but he wasn’t there, the bed was cold on his side. Her stomach dropped.
When did he leave? Amber stretched, feeling the soreness between her legs.
Last night had been amazing, at least it was for her. Sitting up, she looked around the room and listened for any sign of him, but Zander was nowhere. Other than her, the room was empty.
Getting up, she decided she would head to Devin’s room for some clean clothes and a shower. At that moment, her stomach decided to speak. She hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, but she definitely needed a shower first. Then she would go see about getting something to eat. She was starving. Getting out of Zander’s bed, she quickly pulled on her dirty clothes and headed for Devin’s room.
The closer Amber got to the kitchen, the louder the sounds of voices and laughter became. She wasn’t used to all the noise. Living by herself for so long, she was more accustomed to the quietness. She had to admit, the prospect of always being around people, surrounded by a family, was pretty nice. Walking into the kitchen, she spotted Sledge sitting at the head of the Officers table, the seat to his right, Zander’s seat, was empty. He motioned her over to him.
Amber’s eyes roamed the room searching for her brother’s VP. She found him sitting with a group of bikers she didn’t know. But what halted her movement was the bleach blonde sitting on his lap. She was running long red nails across his chest. Amber couldn’t have stopped the hurt from reaching her eyes, if she tried.
What the fuck? she thought to herself. Amber had the urge to yank the skank from his lap, beat the shit out of her, and then turn her anger and hurt towards Zander. But honestly, she should have known. He was very upfront with her. Zander was a lifelong bachelor. He told her that already, but at the moment, it didn’t make her feel any better.
After last night, even knowing what she did about him, she never thought she would see him with one of the club’s whores. Sighing, she looked towards Sledge, but he was staring at Zander. If looks could kill, Zander would be dead. Amber steeled her spine and walked into the room. There was no damn way she was letting a night of great sex or a man break her. Not. A. Chance.
First on the menu, Amber needed coffee. Lots of coffee. Making a cup, she grabbed a couple of pieces of toast walked over to her brother. Sitting in Zander’s seat, she got comfortable.
“Good morning Sis,” Sledge said, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.
“Morning Devin,” she said. She glanced back over to Zander and found he was watching her. Amber sent a smile his way. If you can’t make it, fake it until you can, right? Isn’t that what the saying was? There is no way she would break. Not now. Not in front of all these people.
She was woman enough to admit, she was an idiot. She got too involved with Zander, way too quickly. He told her several times yesterday that relationships, of any kind, weren’t his thing. So it’s not like he lied to her to get in her pants. He said he would fuck her stupid. Obviously, that was exactly what he’d done, because she was definitely stupid to think one night of steaming up the sheets would change his outlook.
“Hey, follow me,” Sledge said, standing up and walking to the door. Amber followed, and the entire time she felt Zander’s gaze on her as she walked out of the door.
Amber trailed behind her brother outside and together they sat on the front step of the house. He pulled a cigarette from his pack and offered one to her.
“No thank you. You know I don’t smoke and neither should you,” she offered. She watched as her brother lit a match and put it to the end of his cigarette.
“I’m sorry Amber,” he said with his head hanging low.
“For what?” she asked.
“Reaper,” was all he said.
There was no way she was going to crack in front of her brother either. Not a chance in hell. She hardened her spine and calmed her facial expressions, like Sledge had taught her as a kid. Don’t show your emotions and everything would be fine, she reminded herself.
“Devin, I’m a big girl. It was just sex, nothing more,” she told her brother.
She hated to lie, but she hated the feelings Zander created in her this morning even more. Hurt. Vulnerability. Sledge sat there searching her face and must have seen what she wanted him to.
“Okay,” he said, “Glad you feel that way.”
Needing to change the subject, Amber asked, “Do you think I can go hang out with Lo today? With everything that has happened recently, I feel like I could benefit from letting out some frustration. Maybe a few rounds with her or K, would help to settle my nerves.”
Sledge grabbed his phone and with a shrug of his shoulders, he put in a call to the only woman Amber knew could help her regain some balance in her life. After a brief conversation, it was arranged for Amber go over and hang out with her best friend.
“I’ll have one of the guys run you over there. He’ll stay there with you, then bring you home when you’re ready.”
“Thank you!” She jumped up, excitedly.
Amber needed this. Growing up, Devin had taught her at an early age to protect and defend herself. She
was a natural. Kick boxing was her thing. Put her in a square circle and Amber thrived. It would be great to step back into it. With so much going on the last couple of years, Amber could never find the time to go to the local gym. But now, everything was different. She had nothing, but time now.
Chapter Fifteen
Reaper
Reaper felt like a total prick watching the hurt cross Amber’s face when she entered the dining room. It tore at his heart. But he had no choice. He was ruined. She thought she was broken, but no. Reaper was the broken one. Amber was perfect. He would never be good enough for her though, no matter what he did. His darkness would taint her.
Watching Amber and Sledge walk from the room, Reaper wondered what was going on. If Sledge was smart, and he was, he would tell Amber to stay far away from him. Maybe that’s what his friend was doing.
Standing up, he removed Melony from his lap and threw his untouched food in the trash. He didn’t have a stomach for it anymore. One look at the hurt that flashed in Amber’s eyes was enough to make everything taste sour. And he hated himself even more. Reaper spent the next few minutes mentally berating himself. It was only the sound of her voice that pulled him out of his own head.
Reaper turned to see her walking into the living room wearing tight yoga pants and a matching sports bra. Her tits were wrapped snug in the material. Reaper wanted to yank her into his lap and cover them with his hands, feel her nipples pebble against his palm.
“Hey D, my sister is in need of your services,” Sledge announced, causing Reaper’s head to whip around and his eyes to narrow.
Services? What the fuck did that mean? If any of these fuckers so much as touched a single hair on her head, Reaper knew he would murder them.
“Oh I can definitely service your sister boss!” Diesel smirked.
“Not like that asshole!” Sledge sighed with annoyance, but Amber laughed out loud.
“Drive her over to Lo’s place. Stay with her and bring her back when she is done,” Sledge ordered.
“I’ll take her,” Reaper said from his spot on the couch.
“No, you won’t,” Sledge replied, his tone saying Reaper had lost his mind. And maybe he had. Shit! He just didn’t know anymore.
Reaper watched as Diesel walked over to Amber and held out his hand to her. He wanted to rip that smug smirk off the asshole’s face! Nobody should be touching her. Amber was his girl! Shit! No she wasn’t, he had to remind himself.
Remember asshole, you left her to wake up alone. You allowed Amber to walk in and see a club whore sitting on your lap. You lost the right to call her yours, just like you wanted - remember? Reaper’s head was so messed up. FUBAR’ed! Totally fuckin’ FUBAR’ed!
“Hello Beautiful. My name is Diesel, but most people just call me D, on account that I have a very large...well D.” Diesel told her with a smile that brought most women to their knees. Reaper thought he would be sick.
“Hi D. I’m Amber,” she said, pulling a t-shirt over her head. “And we can discuss more about your large D, on the way. You ready?” she replied back to him with a smile as she took his outstretched hand.
“You know beautiful; I think we are going to be great friends,” Diesel said, linking their fingers as he started walking with her out of the living room.
“Best of friends,” Amber agreed with a smile.
Reaper followed their movements. Shocked. What the hell had just happened?
He was brought back to the present by the sound of Sledge’s deep rumbling laughter. Reaper looked over at his best friend. The man was bent over, holding his stomach, in a full out laugh.
How the fuck was this funny? Reaper was lost.
“Have fun kids!” Sledge hollered to Diesel and Amber as they walked out of the door earning a wave from Amber before the front door closed behind her.
Standing up from the couch, Reaper walked over to Sledge. Pissed the hell off. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You are trusting Diesel with Amber? Have you lost your damn mind, Devin?” Reaper demanded.
“Easy Zander, it’s not your decision,” Sledge said. “My sister is not your business, remember?”
“Sledge, you know as well as I do that Diesel only thinks with his little head,” Reaper reminded, fuming that Sledge would even let Diesel near Amber.
It didn’t matter that Diesel was the club’s Sergeant at Arms. It didn’t matter that logically, Reaper knew Diesel would protect Amber at all costs. All that mattered was another man, a better man, was alone with his woman. Sledge couldn’t think Amber was safe with him, could he? Just then he heard the sound of a bike fire up. Reaper made a move to the door, but a heavy hand was placed on his shoulder, stopping him.
“Reaper, let her go. You made your choice, remember?” Sledge said in a low voice.
Reaper knew Sledge was right. He pushed Amber away this morning. That is what he wanted, right? Reaper knew he would never be good enough for her.
He was the VP and Enforcer of a MC, he killed people for a living. It didn’t matter that his kills were sanctioned by law enforcement. She needed a man that would be home every night. Someone who could open his heart and let her in. Reaper was not that man. Turning to look at Sledge, he lifted his chin.
“I’m going to head out for a while,” he said, “See you later.” He had to get out of there. He felt like the walls were closing in on him.
Walking out of the door, Reaper crossed the driveway quickly and climbed on his bike; heading in the opposite direction of the woman who, after one damn night, drove him completely insane and completely owned him.
Chapter Sixteen
Amber
Amber arrived at the Lighthouse Martial Arts Academy. She was beyond excited to see her old friend. She and Lo had been friends since middle school, but over the years, life had gotten in the way. Then Lo had gotten married and Amber went off to college. She was so happy for her friend though. Lo found love in the arms of a huge man named Kameron, but everyone just called him K. He was a member of the Henchmen too, but rarely came to the clubhouse.
Lo, like Amber, had a rough childhood, but she rose above it and became a Woman Kick Boxing Champion and then opened her studio. She also taught self-defense classes to battered woman, helping them learn to protect themselves. Lo gave back to the community that turned its back on them as kids. That’s the type of woman she was, and one of the many reasons she was Amber’s best friend. Her heart was huge.
A hand on her lower back brought Amber out of her own thoughts. “You ready to go inside?”
“Yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking about everything Lo has accomplished. How far we have come since we were dirty kids running the same streets.”
“A lot has changed since back then, huh?” Diesel asked.
“Yeah it has.” She smiled.
“Come on,” he said, holding the door open for her. “After you, Beautiful,” Diesel said with a flirtation smile.
Amber walked through the door and was immediately wrapped in a warm hug. Lo had been waiting for her.
“Oh my God!” Lo shrieked, “I have missed you so much!”
Amber felt, more than heard, Lo’s gasp and knew her friend finally saw her face. The bruises had barely begun to heal. She really didn’t want to have this conversation right now, and honestly, there wasn’t any time for it. Lo would be starting a class soon.
“I’ve missed you too,” Amber smiled. She really had missed her friend. She didn’t know how much until that very second.
“Class is about to start but we definitely need to have dinner and catch up,” Lo said.
“Absolutely!” Amber couldn’t wait. She was excited about the class and about spending time with her old friend.
Class was crazy, but Amber assisted Lo, showing some of the women a few of the basics. How to balance on the balls of your feet, how to make a fist and throw a punch without breaking a thumb. The class seemed to fly by, but she was happy and finally felt like she was starting to gain some control of her life. She was beg
inning to think that maybe she should help out around here more often. The class was fun, she had gotten a great workout in, but most importantly it helped to clear her head.
“So what did you think?” Lo asked after class was dismissed and everyone had gone.
“That was freaking awesome! I can’t wait until the next one.”
Lo hugged Amber tight and sighed. Amber knew that sound, the conversation was about to turn heavy. “Am, what happened? Your face honey. Please tell me...” Lo asked quietly in her ear.
Amber pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself. She hated lying, so she told Lo the truth, all of it. The abuse, the incident at the apartment where Zander was shot, and how she had to have Devin come to the rescue. She poured her heart out. For a woman so used to taking care of herself, the need to call her big brother for help irked her more than it should. It was definitely a hit to Amber’s ego.
“Okay Love. Here’s what we are going to do. Come back tomorrow at nine in the morning. K and I will make sure the ring is free for you,” Lo said.
“Oh you don’t have to do that...” Amber started, but was interrupted.
“Nonsense. You are the closest person I have to a sister. I know how much your independence means to you. Your self-reliance. But Amber, don’t beat yourself up over it. There aren’t many women who can handle themselves against a grown man, especially an enraged one. And you did. Got a few bumps and bruises, but it could have been a lot worse,” Lo stated. Amber couldn’t help but smile at her. She loved this woman something fierce.
“Okay, nine in the morning. I’ll be here,” she conceded.
“Awesome! Maybe you and I can even spar.” Lo winked. Amber couldn’t help but nod and smile. She and Lo hadn’t sparred together in years!
“Just like old-times.” Giving her friend another hug, she walked over to where Diesel was waiting for her.
“You looked great, Doll,” he praised.
The Enforcer (Devil's Henchmen MC Book 1) Page 6
