by Susan Toscan
“Michael and I haven’t quite decided what we want to do with our future, but we thought that as we are only 19, we could take a few more months to work it out. In the meantime, I’m working on my father’s sheep station and Michael works as a shearer around the area.”
Renata was really enjoying talking to Steven, but she noticed that Lucia was making it clear that it was getting late.
Lucia was aware that it was almost time for them to meet her father. “Renata, I’m sorry for interrupting, but we have to go. I’ll go and get Agnes and meet you at the door.”
Renata was reluctant to end the conversation with Steven, but she bid him good night. “It was really nice to meet you, Steven.”
“Likewise, Renata. I hope that we can meet again soon. Good night.”
Agnes had had such a good time that she was surprised it had got so late so quickly. She liked Michael. Once they got over the spilled drink and had a few dances, she felt very comfortable talking to him. He was still very shy and did seem to drink a lot of beer, but he did not seem drunk.
“I don’t usually like coming to the dances,” Michael told Agnes. “Steven talked me into it, and I’m glad that he did.”
Agnes had a sense that he was not comfortable around crowds of people. “Do you still live at home?” she asked.
“I left home as soon as I finished school, and I’ve been living and working in shearing sheds ever since. It’ll be about a month before I’m back in town.” Michael explained that this was usually the way it was with the shearers. “We come into town for a few days between shearing sheds, and then we are gone again for a month or so. But I would really like to meet up when I am in town next.”
Agnes was pleased that he wanted to see her again. “Can we meet at the dance the same time next month?” she suggested.
“I would like that very much. I had a really good time tonight. Can we avoid the drink spilling next time, though?” Michael asked with a cheeky grin.
Agnes knew that she wanted to see him again, but she was feeling slightly conflicted as a few months earlier, she had met Brad.
Agnes and her younger sister Betty had been on their way to the movies. As they were crossing the road, a good-looking man came up to them and asked them for the directions to the railway station.
“You’re obviously from out of town,” Agnes said.
“Yes. I’ve just moved out here from Sydney. Not a lot of work in the big smoke, and I was told that men were needed in the shearing sheds. I hitched a ride into town last night, and I’m meeting someone about work at the railway station at 1.00 pm.”
Agnes gave the man the directions, and he went on his way. A few days later, she saw him again—this time at the local café—and she approached him. “Hello again; did you manage to find work?”
The man looked a little bewildered at first, and then he recognised her. “Oh, hello. Yes, I did. By the way, my name is Brad Collins.” He offered his hand, and Agnes took it.
Instead of shaking her hand, however, Brad held it still and looked intently into her eyes. Agnes felt a little uncomfortable and wriggled her hand free. She then introduced herself properly, and they talked for a few minutes.
Agnes noted Brad’s stocky but masculine build; he had a memorable face with sharp cheekbones and deep-set eyes that seemed to be grey in colour. He was very well spoken—a bit posh, really. He did seem to be a fair bit older than she was, and something he said about how long he had worked in Sydney gave Agnes the impression that he must be in his early 20s. He had seemed a little aloof at first, but then he did that hand-holding thing, and Agnes did not know what to think. He was a confusing character!
Brad explained that he had family living in the area and had decided to see if he could get work on the sheep stations. “I don’t intend to stay in the bush. I’m a city lad at heart. All a bit boring out here, I would think. Way too many wogs in this town for me anyway; more like little Italy.”
Agnes instantly became defensive, and there was anger in her voice as she responded. “You are wrong. It is a really nice town, and once you get to know people, I think that you won’t find it boring. And Brad, you should watch what you say about our Italian community; many of them are friends to my family and me. Perhaps you should get to know them before you say such judgmental things.”
Brad tried to defend his comments. “Gosh, don’t get so worked up. I just don’t like them coming out here and acting like they own the place.”
“That is not true, and I think you are a rude, obnoxious person,” Agnes told him as she walked away with a toss of her dark curls.
Brad smiled and said softly to himself, “Country bumpkin! But a very pretty one, I have to admit!”
Although Agnes was offended by Brad’s attitude and had found him a bit cocky for her liking, she still felt that there was something attractive about him.
Agnes had met Brad on a couple of occasions after that encounter, and each time he left her feeling very strange. He would speak to her, but she knew that somehow she did not have his full attention. It was odd as he would seek her out, but then having found her, he would interact with her in a detached, condescending way. She got the feeling that he thought he was too good for her.
Occasionally he would surprise her with his full attention, and he would be engaging and charming. He had a way of looking directly into her eyes, which was a bit disconcerting but somehow very intimate.
Agnes noticed that he liked to steer the conversation and that he seemed to be a bit controlling. He did ultimately apologise for the comments he had made about the Italians, but Agnes felt that he did not really mean it. His behaviour was a bit unnerving—she had never met anyone like him before—but she still found him intriguing.
Brad was more sophisticated than any of the boys that she knew. His conversation centred on the politics of the time or wool prices and the depressed state of the economy. He did not like answering questions about himself or his life in Sydney. He was a bit mysterious, which added to his attraction. Agnes enjoyed flirting with him, even though it was one-sided. When she asked him if he wanted her to write to him when he returned to the shearing shed, he was non-committal and rather off-hand. This annoyed her further. You idiot, why did you do that!? she asked herself. He is in town so rarely, and the possibility of a relationship is extremely unlikely. You don’t even like the guy!
Michael was due back in town, and Agnes was very nervous. She did not know if he would be at the dance on Friday night, but she hoped so. She kept remembering what he had said to her when they were dancing: “Agnes, I think you are very cute with your curls and your lovely brown eyes. I hope we can get to know each other better.” She was definitely inexperienced with relationships, and she was not sure if she was reading the signals correctly. The young woman did not know if he liked her, or if it was the beer talking on that first night.
Agnes took extra care getting ready for the dance. She fussed over her dress, and her mother was getting impatient with all her questions about how she looked. “My goodness, Agnes, you usually don’t care what people think. You look lovely; now please just go to the dance!”
When Agnes and her friends walked into the dance hall that night, she tried not to look around, not wanting to give the impression that she was specifically looking for someone. She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed Michael walking towards her—but then she felt her breath catch in her throat. He looked gorgeous. He had obviously taken the trouble to have his hair cut, and even though it was still rather untidy, it added to his overall rugged good looks.
“G’day, good lookin’,” he said with his slightly lopsided grin. “I’m glad that you turned up.”
Agnes could feel warmth spreading over her when Michael spoke. She liked this young man, but she still wanted to keep him guessing as to how she was feeling. She had no idea why she felt that way, but she decided that she would continue to be a bit flippant. “Well, I thought that I would give you another chance to impress
me with your dancing skills.”
“You seem to be a little forward, the way you keep asking me to dance with you!” he teased her.
“Get used to it,” she told him. “I have a reputation for being bossy!”
They danced together again, this time more slowly, and Michael held her very tightly. She could feel the strength of his arms around her, and the way he led her in the dance reassured her of his subtle confidence, which had not been obvious in their first meeting. Agnes felt safe, and again she experienced the warm glow that seemed to surface when Michael was close to her. She liked the way he made her feel.
When he was dancing with Agnes, Michael experienced something that he had never felt before. He not only was attracted to this feisty brunette, with her big brown eyes that seemed to swallow him up, but he also felt protective towards her. She was petite and fragile in his arms, and he liked the way that made him feel. He knew very well that she was no shrinking violet; she certainly had a mind of her own and made no bones about telling him exactly what she thought. But when they were dancing, it was a peaceful and intimate private world where they both just fit together.
Michael held Agnes even more closely. She looked up at him and smiled with her eyes. Oh my God, those eyes will be my undoing, Michael thought to himself. His brain was in overdrive. He wanted to dance with Agnes forever.
The band had stopped playing, and still Michael held Agnes. “Do we just stand here, or should we move to a less obvious place in the hall?” Agnes asked, smiling wickedly.
“Perhaps we could move outside, and I could walk you home, if that is okay with you? I don’t want the night to end yet.”
Michael and Agnes left the hall and walked hand-in-hand along the deserted street. “Agnes, I really enjoyed dancing with you tonight. I hope that we can do this again soon.”
“I enjoyed it too, but there’s not another dance for a couple of weeks—and you have to return to the shearing shed. How about a picnic in the park tomorrow?” Agnes suggested.
“I’ll be there,” Michael responded happily. He walked her to the door of her parents’ house and kissed her ever so softly on the lips. It took all of his self-control not to take her into his arms and kiss her passionately, but he did not want to scare her.
The next day, Agnes prepared a simple lunch and told her parents that she was meeting friends at the park—not the full truth, but close enough. She felt excited to be seeing Michael again so soon and was trying not to be nervous; Agnes knew that she had a habit of talking too much when she was nervous. She decided that she would tell him about that so that he could get to know her better. They hadn’t talked a lot the previous night. Suddenly Agnes realised that she was not sure what she was going to speak to him about, and she felt a bit panicked.
As she walked along the street, she saw Michael approaching from the opposite direction. He had not noticed her as he was talking to a friend. Agnes saw that it was one of the young men she had been introduced to the first time that she met Michael. Steven was his name. He was rather nice-looking also, but Agnes liked the way Michael looked even more: that rough-around-the-edges look, mixed with mischievous eyes, was very attractive indeed. She realised that she was daydreaming when she heard her name being called.
“Agnes, hello!”
“Hello! I am sorry I was off with the fairies… happens often, so my mother tells me,” Agnes replied, trying to cover her embarrassment. Once again, she was talking too much and too quickly.
“Agnes, do you remember my friend Steven Piper?”
“I do; nice to see you again.” Agnes shook Steven’s hand.
“Michael and I had some business in town, but I’ll keep going and see you both later. Take care, Agnes—good to see you again too. Catch you later, buddy,” Steven said as he headed into a nearby store.
“Ready for some lunch in the park now?” Agnes asked as Michael walked towards her and took her hand as if he had been doing it forever. It felt nice—comfortable. They walked to the park and found a shady place to spread the blanket.
They were both lost for words all of a sudden, and then they started to talk at the same time. “My other friends tell me that when I’m nervous, I talk non-stop,” Agnes said. “I’m a bit nervous now.” At the same time, Michael said, “I want to tell you again that I really enjoyed the dance last night.”
Their first few words overlapped, but they managed to complete their comments. They both laughed, and the mishap seemed to relax them.
They managed to talk away almost two hours before Agnes realised what the time was. “I’m sorry, but I promised my mother that I would be home by 2.30 pm. I really must go.”
“Agnes, can we go to the movies tomorrow night? I have to return to the shed on Monday, and I’d really like to see you again,” Michael asked, looking slightly anxious.
“I’ll have to check with my parents, but it should be okay,” Agnes replied. “If I can go, I’ll meet you out the front at 7.00 pm.”
“See you then, I hope.” Michael stood up and began helping Agnes pack away the blanket and picnic things. “I’ll go and find Steven and get a lift back to the pub where we stay when we’re in town.”
Agnes had enjoyed Michael’s company once again. She realised that she wanted to be with him more and more. She was happy being with him. Agnes didn’t have to deal with guessing games or try to decipher complex attitudes the way she did when she saw Brad. She still had not actually been out socially with the older man. They had met up on a couple of further occasions, but it was never prearranged. She was confused by Brad and knew that she was better off putting him out of her mind.
Going to the movies was a popular outing for the young people of Griffith. Agnes loved musicals, and Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were her favourite actors; she had seen the movie Top Hat three times. She also loved very dramatic movies such as A Tale of Two Cities. Although she found the plot of that movie a bit heavy-going, she loved the dramatic portrayal of the French Revolution. Agnes did not know very much about the history of France, but after seeing the movie, she wanted to know more. Europe, in general, was a mystery to most Australian country people; as a rule, they did not travel overseas. Most of what they knew came from history studies at school and the newsreels of the Great War. The newsreels that they saw at the movies made Europe look bleak and unattractive.
Agnes had seen Brad at the movies a few times. Each time her heart would flutter, but he only acknowledged her with a nod. He was obviously not interested, and she could not understand why she reacted the way she did when she saw him. She was happy getting to know Michael, and she did not want to think about Brad.
Once again, Agnes had been very vague when she asked her parents if she could go to the movies. She went there quite often, so her parents were happy for her to go with her friends. There was not a lot for young people to do in a small town, and they knew most of Agnes’s friends.
Michael was waiting for her just outside the ticket office. As she approached, he once again took her hand. Agnes found that she looked forward to him doing that now.
At the half-time break, when Michael had returned to his seat with lemonade and some popcorn, he gave Agnes a sheet of paper.
“I’ve written down my address at the shearing shed. Would you mind writing to me if you have time?” Michael asked shyly. “A month out of town is a long time, and I’ve got used to your stories.” He laughed nervously. “Well, truth be known, I really want you to write to me.”
“Of course; I would love to write to you,” Agnes replied. “I’m not sure that I’ll have anything interesting to tell you, but I will write.”
“It will take at least a week for the mail to be delivered, but it would be good to hear from you.” Michael gave her a hug and a soft kiss on the lips, but this time, the embrace lasted longer, almost as if he did not want to let go.
Agnes liked the way he had kissed her. Very gently and not with a great deal of confidence, but it had felt very special. She w
ould write to him tomorrow and tell him so. Perhaps that was also being a bit ‘forward’? She suddenly felt very uncertain about what to do next and slightly out of her depth. She had always been so sure of herself, but now she felt a little vulnerable.
When Agnes talked to Renata about how Michael made her feel, her friend replied, “It sounds to me like you are falling in love with this guy!”
“Don’t be silly, Renata. I haven’t known him long enough. I do really like him a lot, though.”
Was she falling in love? Agnes had not had any previous experiences that meant she could be sure of what she was feeling. She did know that she felt good when Michael was around and that she missed him when he went back to the shearing shed.
“You know, Renata, Mum is always going on about ‘going too far’ with boys. And one of her favourite sayings is ‘only good girls get caught’. I really have no idea what she is talking about. She keeps telling me to ‘just be careful’, but I don’t know what I have to be careful of! Does your mother say things like that?”
“No, not really. Lucia and I are told that we are not to let boys touch us at all!”
Both girls burst out laughing. “Well from my vast experience of a couple of very tentative kisses, I think that the touching feels very good!” Agnes shrugged. “Well, I guess we will have to work it out for ourselves.”
The girls were so innocent and inexperienced that speculation about romance was very exciting. They had no way of understanding how complicated things could become with the reality of being in a relationship. Young women like Agnes and Renata—living sheltered lives in a small, unsophisticated rural town—usually got so carried away with the romantic movies and romance novels they shared that they had unreal perceptions of life in general.
They certainly could not see any danger lurking, as Agnes’s mother had suggested.
