by Tara Spears
Considering the first night we met, it was ironic we both blurted out, “No.”
He raked over us appraisingly and tisked. “Too bad. It never hurts to ask though. Enjoy...” he said with one last heated look before he wandered back to his booth. A fairly decent blond man in a business suit looked at him expectantly, and he shook his head. The blond gazed at us hungrily for several seconds before returning to his meal.
Justin gathered the two boxes under his arm, and we headed out, his hand possessively on my ass.
“Why in the world would those two need to swing?” Justin asked as the door closed behind us.
I shook my head. “Who knows? Maybe they have small equipment, or are bored with each other. It happens.”
“That’s a depressing thought.”
“They are still together,” I pointed out.
“I suppose. I hope we never get to that point. Bored with each other I mean.”
I knew our relationship would be anything but boring. My disturbed mind guaranteed that.
“I think I can keep your life interesting for a while longer,” I said dryly.
He shot me an unamused sideways glance. He slid the boxes onto Fawkes’s roof then pulled me against him, choosing to ignore my comment and I gladly followed his lead.
“You are coming home with me aren’t you?”
I closed my eyes, grimaced, then shook my head. “I have class in the morning.”
“I can wake you up in time. I promise.” He nuzzled my neck and I almost melted. No! I can’t. Be strong, I told myself, but man, I wanted him in the worst way, and “IT” was unquestionably in agreement.
“Bellevue to Seattle on a Friday morning? It would take me two hours,” I said weakly. Justin was not helping matters as he leaned against me, letting his hands roam every inch of my ass.
“Then let me come home with you.” I tensed at that, causing him to lean back and look at me. “Trey, think of it as the next step. Nothing that happens will surprise me. I can handle it.”
I found myself nodding even though I said, “It’s a depressing room and I only have a single bed.”
“Who says we need to use the bed?”
Good point. He was pushed tightly against me now, and my body had hit a combustible level. I groaned.
“Okay,” I said before adding stubbornly, “I have to work tomorrow night.”
He smiled against my neck over his obvious win, then nipped me and let me go. Grabbing the boxes, he shimmied into Fawkes, firing up his engine impatiently.
I climbed into kitten and turned her key. God, it seemed a long way across the bridge right now. I felt like someone had injected me with testosterone and I was in rut. I was completely out of control, and I had to admit, I loved it.
“Kitten, baby, if this keeps up you may not be a virgin much longer,” I told her as I undid the buttons on my jeans, releasing a painfully throbbing “IT”. I sighed, relieved. Tight jeans and Justin were not a good combination.
We made incredibly good time. Justin stayed dangerously close to kitten’s rear end all the way into the parking lot, Fawkes appearing ready to mount her should she hesitate even a second.
He followed me in, and I grimaced over the drab ugly room as he chuckled seductively.
“It looks like a very clean dorm room,” he said, kicking the door closed right before he pounced on me with a very sexy growl.
* * * * *
I woke soaked with sweat, wedged between the wall and Justin. “Justin, move over I’m roasting.” I pushed my back against him and my mind quaked over the easy recognition.
He mumbled as he moved off me. My eyes began to burn then tears rolled over the rims. I didn’t want to cry over something so stupidly simple. I tried to stop, however they just kept coming. A hiccupped sob broke free, and I buried my face into my pillow, but Justin heard.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”
I shook my head. I reached for his hand resting on my hip, dragging it over me and hugging it to my chest. I don’t know if he understood, but regardless he cuddled next to me, quietly feathered his lips over my back and shoulders while I cried over something so fantastically normal. The tears kept coming until I fell back to sleep.
* * * * *
The alarm clock rudely interrupted a fantastic dream, and when I reached to hit the snooze button I realized the dream hadn’t been all dream after all. I grinned down at the rumpled, sleepy, and incredibly beautiful boy in my bed.
“I like opening my eyes to this,” he said, stroking my face.
“Yeah, me too.” I turned my head, laying my lips on the raised pink cross on his arm. The stitches had been removed and the slices were healing well. However, the scarred lines were a constant reminder to me that he could fall too.
His lips pressed together. “So, you’re okay?”
I was beginning to dislike that worried look on him, and I really didn’t like the fact it was there because of me.
I bolstered a very confident smile and hoped it didn’t come off cocky. “I’m better than okay. I’ve never remembered who was in my bed with me before. Not in the middle of the night, half-asleep anyway. It just took me by surprise.”
I kissed him as I crawled over him and out of bed. He looked at me as if I were crazy. The thought had crossed my mind. But if I stayed in bed I might not make my business fundamentals class.
“Get up.” I smirked. “I think I want to play with you in the shower.”
Justin’s eyes widened and his teeth flashed, as a grin split his face. “Who says I’m in the mood?”
I leaned over him, grabbing his cock. “This says you’re in the mood.” I stroked a few times then let go, making him groan. I sauntered to the bathroom fondling “IT” teasingly. Justin laughed.
“How are we not sore after last night?” he called.
I honestly couldn’t answer him. I went to bed satisfied and woke up wanting him again. It was kind of wonderful. I pulled the knob on the shower and adjusted it. God, I didn’t have much experience with this and I hoped I wasn’t becoming some sexual deviant.
Justin walked in as wanton as I was. Well, if I was disturbed sexually then he was too. I hauled him into the shower then pinned him against the tile.
“Someone’s frisky this morning,” he said, entirely too amused.
“You have no idea.” I clamped my lips down on his mouth. A hand came up to grip my hair as another slid down my back. We kissed until we couldn’t breathe. I reached back, retrieving the soap, and started washing last nights sweat from Justin’s shoulders, his chest, hips, then I reached for his cock, only to have him grab my wrist and stop me.
“You touch me and I’m going to explode,” he said, breathing harshly. “Tell me you have condoms in the bathroom.”
“Fuck the condoms.” Jesus, did I really just say that? I slid against him. Oh yeah, I really did. His hand gripped my hair tighter, tugging me back as he searched my face.
“Trey, you’re being awfully adventurous. This is a big step. Are you sure you want to take it?”
I sparked a grin. “Yeah, I think so.” I kissed him, nipping his lower lip. “I want to feel skin on skin. I want to feel you touch me,” I said softly against his mouth.
I felt the tremor run through him as he released my wrist. He took the soap from me, and as his fingers closed around “IT” I had a second of remorse. I buried my head in his neck. Once his musky scent, mingled with the constant hint of vanilla hit my senses, and our hands began to move, I forgot everything.
Sexy, sensual, erotic had never had a place in my vocabulary. I had never really known what they felt like. I was pretty sure they felt like this. He came first with a deep guttural growl and a bite to my shoulder that sent me straight over the edge. Oh God, I liked it when he bit me. As my muscles clenched, I buried my face deeper into the crook of his neck. My groin tingled and I felt the explosion of heat surge forth. I held on tight to his shoulder as my legs went weak, my hips rocking as they so
ught out every bit of pleasure. I think I swore colorfully, but I can’t be sure since my heart was pounding so loudly it drowned out all sound.
We both stood catching our breath for I don’t know how long. Justin’s hand stroked the back of my head gently. I had no idea I was reacting to what we had just done until he whispered to me, “Keep your eyes closed.”
I discovered I was shaking, and my hands were digging into his flesh. Yet when I tried, I couldn’t seem to unlock them.
He rinsed us both down with the hand sprayer, and then washed me very thoroughly. I concentrated on his hands moving over me, rather than the reason why. He stepped me back for a minute, and I heard him washing himself then his hands cupped my face.
“Open your eyes.”
I did, and looked right into his concerned blues.
“I’m okay. I think I’m okay. I’m sorry... I didn’t—”
His thumbs pushed into my lips. “Shut up. Don’t apologize. You never have to apologize to me. If we can do that every once in awhile, and this is as bad as you get?” He smiled. “Baby, you just made me deliriously happy.”
I managed a slow smile for him. And I only glanced longingly at my scrub brush a few times as I washed my hair. It was definitely progress.
Chapter Seventeen
After drying off, Justin went to toss his towel into my work laundry and my OCD reared its head in the form of a rough scream. He jumped, stumbled against the toilet then fell against the wall, thankfully still holding the towel. His eyes darted around the bathroom as I snatched the towel from his grasp. He turned to me with a spooked-owlish look on his face, his hand palmed over his heart.
“Sorry,” I said, breathing deeply as I clutched the towel. “It goes in that one.” I tossed the towel into the beige basket at the other end of the bathroom.
“Jesus Christ, you gave me a heart attack,” he said, his hand still on his chest.
“I’m sorry.” I fisted my towel to keep from tugging my hair or worse.
“Quit fucking apologizing,” he said angrily, making me flinch. He disappeared into the main room. I looked down at my hands and for the first time felt embarrassed by my OCD. And it fucking hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically too.
I chucked my towel into the correct basket, then retrieved my sprayer from under the sink. I needed something to do until the fire licking my ribcage burned out. So I did the only thing I could do, I bleached the shower from top to bottom.
We walked across fiftieth for coffee, both of us straining as we tried to get back to where we had been before my outburst. However, neither of us seemed to be making much headway. He took my hand as we walked out of the coffee shop. His thumb began tentatively circling my knuckles, yet he was somewhere else, as was I.
“Trey? What— who’s this?”
My eyes scrolled up. Fuck me. Taylor was scrutinizing me in a rather unfriendly way. I really didn’t need this right now.
“Taylor, how are you?” I decided to try for friendly.
“How am I? You promised to come see me. You told me you had a breakdown.” Taylor raked his eyes over Justin with a mix of hurt and anger. Obviously friendly wasn’t going to work.
“I did have a breakdown. The gruesome details were all over campus,” I reminded him. Of course that one had been after I stood him up. Maybe he wouldn’t remember.
Justin’s grip was slowly vicing down as he took everything in, his lips compressing with each tick of his head. It was time to nip this before Justin came to the wrong conclusion.
“Taylor, this is my boyfriend Justin. Justin, Taylor.” I leaned against Justin as I made the introductions and it was easier than I ever imagined, calling him my boyfriend in public.
Justin became the bigger man and offered his hand. Taylor looked at it with disdain, and refused. Jackass.
Taylor settled his hands on his hips instead. “I don’t understand. Were you with him when you asked me out?”
“I didn’t ask you out...” I blurted, then took a breath, and looked to the brushed concrete at my feet for a moment while I tried to think of something to say that would end this once and for all. Fuck, I was tired of being polite. I raised my head, and squeezed Justin’s hand.
“It was just coffee, damn it. You’re too fuckin’ nice, Taylor, and nice doesn’t work for me.” I chuckled cynically. “I am disturbed beyond anything you could comprehend, and I need someone who can slap me, hard, when I fall apart. Not some pansy who get’s all emotional because he gets stood up. Go find some nice boy to fuck.”
He hit me. A powerful blow right across my cheekbone, that I never saw coming. My coffee flew into the road as I landed on my side with a loud grunt.
“Is that hard enough for you? Fuck you, Trey.”
Yeah, it was definitely a hard hit. A bitter pain twanged behind my eye, and up my temple. He strode off, chipping Justin in the shoulder on his way by. Justin shoved him, but Taylor recovered, and smartly kept walking. Justin had a crazy expression going for him right now, and his shoulders were coiled just waiting to punch something. Hopefully it wouldn’t be me. Once in a day was enough.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Justin blared, tossing his hands in the air. I rocked my jaw back and forth as I sat up in the middle of the sidewalk. Nothing was grinding, thank goodness.
“He had a crush on me. I kinda kept brushing him off. I guess he got pissed when he saw us together,” I explained as I examined a burning scrape below my elbow.
“Let me look at that.” Justin squatted down, picking a few chips of concrete out before brushing it off. “It’s just a scrape.” He took hold of my chin and turned my face. “That’s going to be pretty though. I guess he wasn’t so nice after all.” His anger dissipated as he looked over his shoulder. “Cute though.” He smirked.
“He’s damn cute,” I said, and Justin’s smile faltered. “There was something missing though.”
He turned back to me, his brilliant blues flashing.
“Kitten didn’t like him,” I said seriously as I held his gaze.
He chuckled and stood up. “How romantic. I’m only here because your car thinks I’m sexy,” he said wryly as he took my hands, helping me up. My hip let me know it was not happy over the rough landing, and I was sure I had a nice bruise starting there.
“No, I think you’re sexy... kitten knows you’re good for me, and I think she might be developing a crush on Fawkes. We’re going to find them sharing oil and humping in the front yard one of these days.” I clucked my tongue in mock disgust, making Justin laugh.
“Well, can you blame her? Fawkes screams red-hot beast.”
We headed back to the dorm parking lot, scuffling along, taking our time. At least we were talking again. I could thank Taylor for that, but I wouldn’t.
“Oh no, he’s just a ravisher, and nothing like his father. He must have been a problem child.” I shook my head solemnly. “Now kitten, she has morals. I raised her up right, to be a fine young lady.”
“Trey, she’s not so young anymore. She’s almost an old maid. You should be thrilled such a dapper youngster is calling on her.”
I snorted. “He’s only eight years younger than her, and he has been driven much harder than she has.”
He laughed. “That’s a guy for you,” he said, turning and leaning against Fawkes’s door. His face straightened as he sighed. “Come here.” He took hold of my shirt and pulled.
I stepped between his legs, and he slid his hands into my back pockets.
“I don’t like when you demean yourself, and you do it every time you say you’re sorry for something you can’t control.” He glanced past my shoulder, licking his lips. “I reacted poorly this morning and I regret it. I can’t say it won’t happen again... it probably will, but we need to be able to continue on without dwelling on the little things.” He shook his head then frowned. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I think so. We shouldn’t sweat the insane stuff. I’m still trying to work all th
is out in my head, it’ll take me some time but I think I can do it. I’m sorry I freaked—”
He dropped his forehead against mine. “Stop apologizing. I know how you are, and it is as much my fault when we falter... maybe more.” He lifted his forehead and brushed his lips over mine. “I think you crave comfort, and I like that you can relax in my arms, but knowing the reason you need that so badly— Well, it hurts and makes me angry.”
I blinked at him. “Justin, you have it all wrong. It’s not just comfort. You can bring me out of the dark, and no one has ever done that.”
His eyes widened. He slid his hands from my pockets and wrapped them around my back as he nuzzled into my neck.
“I should be the one that’s sorry. I left you when I knew you needed me.” He hugged me to him and held on.
There was something about the way he held me— clung to me— that had me realizing he really did need me too. But for the life of me I couldn’t fathom why he would want me. In our short time together, I had already dragged him to hell, and rolled him around in the embers. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of a reason for him to ever need me the way I needed him. Selfishly, I held on to him anyway.
* * * * *
It took every ounce of determination I had to drive the fifteen miles to Paradise that night. I felt I was betraying not just him, but both of us. I wanted more than anything to walk away, leave the Ave and never look back. But what if things didn’t work out? I would lose years of clientele on something that still rotated around a maybe. It may not be the most prideful of businesses but this was my business, and I had worked hard at it.
As I stepped from kitten, Amazona was walking across the lot. Her patent-leather boots clicked and echoed eerily in the dark. I offered the six foot two woman my arm and she slid her cocoa-colored hand through. She smelled strongly of cheap perfume.
“We were talking about you the other day. Honey, how come you never come watch us dance?” she asked in her raspy voice.
