“Good, good.” My dad and I looked at each other, exchanging a silent laugh at the awkwardness.
“More ‘tatoes!” Harley yelled from the other side of Mackenzie.
I grabbed the bowl, handed it to Mac, and then went back to eating. It was in that moment I realized how little Mac had actually eaten since she was spending most of her time messing with Harley.
“Trade me places.”
“What?” Mac asked, looking puzzled.
“Trade seats with me. I can watch Harley. You deserve a break today.” And to actually enjoy a holiday.
“Um, okay,” she finally said, and we switched spots.
I sat down and smiled as the whole table stared at us. “What? I can help with Harley. I’m capable.”
“Of course,” my mom said, smiling sweetly. Apparently I was an asshole if my own mom was shocked at my current behavior. “Will you be spending Christmas here? They are doing a beautiful train ride for kids during Christmas break.”
“A train ride in Maverick?”
“It’s only going to be a mile long, then a mile back. Santa will make an appearance and the kids wear pajamas. It’s new, but I think it’ll be fun.”
“Harley would love that,” Mac offered. “We should plan on that.”
“Great.”
After I shoveled in as much food as possible, we spent the next three hours watching football. When Carson arrived, we played a small game where I was able to use my old quarterback skills, and I hadn’t lost my touch. Everyone laughed when I picked Mac up in a victory dance and kissed her.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” I said as I lowered her back to the ground.
“You really need to lay off the romance movies.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You love them as much as I do, and you secretly loved me doing that just now.”
She grabbed on to my t-shirt and pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You’re right, I did.”
***
Two weeks had passed since I’d proposed to Mac and things were great. Christmas was just around the corner and we bought a shit ton of decorations. Mac had never had that growing up—not since she was really young, at least—and she desperately wanted Harley to grow up in a house full of Christmas decorations.
“You are doing it wrong,” Mac told me from the dining table where she was organizing ornaments. Why the hell ornaments needed to be organized beat the shit out of me.
“How am I putting lights on a tree wrong?”
She huffed and walked toward me. “You don’t want the wires to show. It looks ugly that way.”
I bunched my eyebrows for effect and looked at the tree. “But everyone will know they have a wire, so what is the big deal?”
“Because it will look ugly!” She moved closer and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Please. For me? I want this Christmas to be special. It’s our first as a family.”
Fuck. She was pulling out the big guns. I was going to have to put some effort into decorating this tree. “Fine. But you owe me. And you can pay me in the shower tonight.”
She smiled and kissed me. “Deal.” She let go of me and went back to organizing the decorations.
I pulled all the lights off the tree and began the process all over again, trying to hide the wire. A song on my iPod playing over the surround sound got my attention and I started belting out the lyrics.
“What is this song?” Mac asked as she stepped back to look at something on the table.
“The Monster by Eminem,” I replied.
“Is that Rihanna, also?”
“Yep,” I shoved the last light onto a branch. “I’m shocked you know since this song isn’t a 1950’s country song.”
“Shut up and come look at this.”
I plugged the lights into the switch and strode over to the dining room. I wrapped my arms around Mac and kissed her neck, pressing her back into my chest. “What do you think?” she asked.
I honestly had no opinion. It was a wreath with a big burlap bow on top and some Christmas flower things on the bottom. I did, however, love the big monogrammed “M” hanging from the middle. It was as if she was finally accepting the fact that she would be a Morgan someday soon. “I love it.”
“Are you just saying that? I want your honest opinion. I know it doesn’t look as good as the one I saw on Pinterest, but—”
“Mac,” I said, cutting her off. “It’s great. I promise. You did a wonderful job.”
“Really?” she questioned, then turned and grabbed my t-shirt. “I know I’m kinda going crazy about all this, but I just want it to be perfect for Harley.” She was silent for a moment, and I could tell she was working to keep back tears. “You know, I have maybe one good memory of Christmas. My dad waking me up and telling me to see what Santa brought. Sometimes…I think it was a dream. Like I wanted that so much, I believed the dream was real.”
“I’m sorry, Mac. I promise, Harley will know she didn’t dream up her holiday memories.” I kissed her lightly. “Now, tell me if the lights look any better.”
She gave me a weak smile before turning to look at the tree. “Wow,” she gasped, then walked into the living room. “You did a really great job.”
“Then, it is all yours.” I left the dining room and went to the fridge, pulling out a jug of sweet tea. “Did you put extra sugar in it?”
“No. The rest of us don’t like drinking pure sugar,” she called as she placed an ornament on the tree.
“Okay,” I said, pouring some sugar into my glass. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I really need to study.”
“Go for it.”
***
It was December and raining like crazy, which made it really cold. I hiked across campus, ready to go home for the day.
“Hayes?” I heard someone yell from beside me. I glanced around until my eyes landed on Baylee, a girl I had made a huge mistake with in high school.
“Yeah?” I said cautiously as she strode up to me.
“By any chance are you leaving campus?”
I had no idea how to answer since I had no idea what she wanted. “Yeah.”
She smiled and bit her lip. Starting to get a little irritated about standing in the rain, I cocked my head to the side and arched an eyebrow. “Would you be able to give me a lift?”
“Give you a lift?” I repeated. “Why?”
She tucked a piece of wet hair behind her ear. “I was here visiting a…friend, and now my car won’t start and I can’t find my friend. He isn’t answering his cell either.”
“You don’t have anyone else you could call or ask?”
She licked her lips and a horrible memory of us kissing rushed through my head, instantly making me nauseas. “No. Look, I really hate to ask this, but I’m basically stranded in the rain.”
I looked to my right, hoping it would give me an idea of what I should do. Should I be my normal asshole self and leave her? Or should I try to be a nice guy and take her somewhere? I wanted to say no, but then I thought about what would happen if Harley were in this position years from now. “I guess.”
I started walking and she fell into step with me. “Thank you so much.”
“Yeah.”
Once we made it to the parking lot where I had parked my Jeep, I unlocked it and got inside without saying a word. I turned over the ignition and flipped on the defroster while she got inside and buckled her seatbelt. “Where am I taking you?”
“I actually live in the city. But it’s on the south side, so not horribly far.”
I huffed and bit my tongue. I was getting a little pissed. I’d have to drive to the city then back to Norman to get home when my normal drive was only ten minutes. Think about how you would want someone to treat Harley.
I flicked the radio on and turned it up, letting her know I didn’t want to talk. A block later, she flipped the sound down. “So, how have you been? I haven’t seen you since graduation.”
Baylee had always been irritating and that obviously h
adn’t changed. “I’ve been great.” I didn’t ask her how she had been because I didn’t care.
She angled her body to face me. “I’ve been great. I have an apartment and I’m going to community college.”
Keeping my eyes on the road, I remained silent. I stopped at a light and texted Mac, telling her I’d be a little late.
“How is your brother?” she asked.
“Fine.”
“And how is your sister? Lacey, wasn’t it?” And I remembered how fucking annoying she always was with her questions.
“Fine.”
“So, you have a daughter now?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you dating someone?”
I glared at her, letting her see how much I didn’t like her. “I’m engaged to Mackenzie Blanchard. My daughter’s mother.”
“Oh? That girl from the trailer park that went to our school for a couple of months?”
I really wanted to pull over and kick her ass out. “If you want this ride, I suggest you shut the fuck up.”
“Wow, I see you’re still an ass.”
I turned the music up as loud as it would go and sped down the interstate, desperate to get her out of my vehicle.
She started fidgeting with her purse and pulling things out. When she removed her cell and began texting someone, I wondered why the fuck she couldn’t have texted that person to come get her earlier. Then I wouldn’t be in this God awful situation.
She reached for the radio and turned the volume down again. “Rebecca Morton says hello.”
“What the fuck? Are you texting people?”
“It’s no biggie. She texted me and I just said I was with you and you were taking me home.” She shrugged as if it were no big deal.
I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “What you just said makes it sound a whole lot different than what is happening.” Baylee had always been a trouble making bitch. I could see things hadn’t changed with that either.
She grinned. “Sorry.”
“Where the fuck do I need to turn?”
She gave me directions to her apartment and I couldn’t kick her out of my Jeep fast enough. I dropped her at the entrance to the complex and drove home, fuming. When I parked in my driveway, my anger reached a whole new level. Baylee had left a tube of lipstick in the cup holder. If she were anyone else, I would say it was an accident, but I knew it had been done on purpose.
I grabbed the tube and chucked it into the outdoor trashcan on the way inside the house. I took a few deep breaths before going inside, vowing not to give a shit about being nice anymore.
Chapter 7
Mackenzie
Saturday mornings were my favorite. Hayes and I were home with Harley and we could all just sit around and relax in our pjs.
“Have you thought about a date yet?” Hayes asked before shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
“I don’t know. Maybe this summer?”
He froze for a second, his entire body becoming rigid before he resumed chewing and swallowed. “This summer? That’s a long time.”
“No it’s not.” I turned to Harley, who was eating cottage cheese. “Do you want some more?”
She nodded and I started to get up, but Hayes placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll get it.”
“Thanks,” I said, turning back to my bowl of cereal. I chewed for a minute as I watched him get more food for Harley. “When do you want to get married?”
He sighed. “Mac, I’d be happy with getting on the next plane to Vegas.”
I nodded. “I understand, and I really want to marry you, too, but I want a church wedding. It’s what I dreamed about when I was little.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Then, that’s what you’ll get.” He walked into the living room and flopped on the couch. I heard the TV turn on and I finished off my cereal, watching Harley eat. She was kind of a gross eater, but I was used to it.
Once she finished, I cleaned her up and placed her on the floor. She wandered into the living room and I finished cleaning the dishes. When Hayes stayed on the couch, I knew something was off—he usually helped clean up the kitchen on Saturday mornings. I shrugged off my uneasiness and busied myself with cleaning.
By the time I was finished, the kitchen was sparkling and Hayes still hadn’t moved. I washed my hands, then strode into the living room where his eyes were glued to a movie. He never looked in my direction, but he did pat the spot next to him when I walked toward the recliner.
I smiled. “You want me to lay with you?”
He nodded and patted the spot again. I glanced at Harley, who was playing on the floor with her toys, and flopped down next to him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
“It’s okay, but you seem off. You have since you got home yesterday.”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” He placed a kiss to my hair and I didn’t press. I knew Hayes well enough to know he’d eventually tell me. “What do you want to do today?”
“I don’t care.” I shrugged. “Sitting home and doing nothing sounds good to me.”
“Works for me.” Hayes yawned, which made me yawn as well. “I could use a nap.”
I glanced at the clock. “Harley should take one in like an hour. You could always nap with her.”
“I just might,” he said as the doorbell rang. “Who the hell could that be?”
“No idea. I’ll get it.” I started to get up, but Hayes stopped me.
“I’ll get it. I’m a lot ruder than you. I’ll be able to run them off faster.” I chuckled, but he had a point. I crawled to the floor where Harley was playing and sat down as Hayes got up and went to the door.
I could hear him open the door and some murmurs from whoever was on the other side. “Who the hell did you say you are?” Hayes asked, his voice raised.
I didn’t hear the other person’s answer and went back to playing with Harley. A handful of seconds passed and Hayes walked into the living room, his face a mask of concern. I was confused until I saw the man standing behind him.
I stood up and wrapped my arms around my waist as I studied the man. I hadn’t seen him in eight years, but he still looked the same, only older. Trey’s blond hair was buzzed and his muscles were huge. He had an unsure smile on his face. “Hey, sis.”
My mouth fell open and I blinked a few times, making sure I wasn’t hallucinating. “Trey?”
“It’s me.” He cleared his throat and Hayes came to stand next to me, wrapping his arms around me for comfort. “I was hoping we could talk.”
I considered it for a moment. Trey had never hurt me, unless you count leaving me in a home with an abusive father, but I didn’t know him anymore. He could’ve been a killer for all I knew. Taking in his eyes, so like mine, pleading with me to talk to him, I agreed. “Sure.” At the end of the day, he was still my brother.
Hayes leaned in and whispered in my ear, “You don’t have to.”
“I know.” I squeezed his hand as a silent thank you.
“Do you want me to stay in here or take Harley into her room?”
I swallowed, thinking it over. “Try to get her to nap early then come back out here.”
“Okay.” He kissed my cheek then picked Harley up and left the room.
It was silent for a moment. “You have a daughter?” Trey asked.
“Yes,” I answered, gesturing to the couch. “Have a seat.”
He sat down on the couch and I took the chair. “So…”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “This is almost surreal.” His face looked unsteady, pained. “I have something to tell you, but first, I’d just like to talk to you and…apologize.”
“For what?” I’m sure my voice radiated my nerves, but I seriously didn’t know how to feel.
Trey cleared his throat and looked at me with sad eyes. “For leaving you with them. I honestly didn’t think he’d hit you like he did me. I guess my eighteen-year-old self thought since you were a girl, he wouldn’t d
o it.”
I shrugged. “What’s done is done. We can’t change it, and I have a great life now.”
“I’m still sorry. I will carry that guilt with me forever.”
I nodded. “Where have you been?”
“Actually, I’ve been here. Well, Oklahoma City.” He glanced around the living room, taking in all the decorations. “Are you married?”
“Engaged. How about you?”
“I have a girlfriend.”
More silence followed as we stared at each other. “Harley’s asleep,” Hayes said as he entered the living room, breaking the silence. He sat down in the chair next to me and took my hand, not saying anything else. He knew exactly what I needed.
My nerves and anxiety were notching up by the second. I wanted to yell at Trey, make him tell me whatever he came to tell me, but I remained quiet.
Trey took a deep breath and rubbed his hands down his cheeks. “I have something to tell you. I just don’t know how.”
“Just tell me.” I bit the inside of my cheek and waited.
After swallowing, he started, “I got a call a couple days ago…” He closed his eyes and I knew whatever he was going to tell me was bad. “I got a call the other day and Mom’s in the hospital being held for a psychiatric evaluation.”
“She’s in a psychiatric…hospital?”
He nodded. “Something like that. I guess she had a breakdown.”
“Wow.”
I turned to look at Hayes, who was staring at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” But the truth was, I didn’t know. My brother showing up after eight years and telling me Mom was in the hospital was a little overwhelming.
“That’s not the end of it.”
I glanced back at Trey, trying to remain calm. “Okay. What else is there?”
He cleared his throat again and let one hand run over his short hair. “Dad’s…dead.”
Dad’s dead.
Dead.
My breath caught in my throat and Hayes’ hand squeezed mine. “Dead?”
He nodded. “I guess he finally drank too much.”
Holy shit. My dad was dead. The man who had beaten me for years and made my life miserable was…gone. But he was also my dad. I had a lot of emotions running through my head, but I couldn’t grasp any of them. “Okay.”
Chasing Forevermore Page 4
