Sean leaned over to me, eyeing me suspiciously. I could tell he had just seen our private joke.
“How do you know these two?”
“Luke’s my cousin.” I explained; he didn’t need to know any more than that.
“Oh.” He threw another look at Scott and waited until Pippa had finished chattering. “Where are you playing next?” he asked.
“PeaSeas, this weekend. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah, I live not far from there.” Sean turned back to me. “Will you be going?”
I nodded before a violent sneeze destroyed any further comment. I sniffled and push the remainder of my drink away. “I probably should be getting home.” I stood up and addressed the group. “See you tomorrow.”
“Abby.” Scott followed me out the door. “You alright?”
“Yeah, I just need an early bedtime I think.” My voice was becoming more absent by the minute. I was beginning to only be able to whisper. “You must have worn me out last night.” I smiled.
“Will you be okay to drive? Luke and I can take you home if you like.”
“No, you stay here; keep Pippa and Laura entertained.” I cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Okay, as long as you’re sure. I hope you feel better soon.” He kissed me on the forehead and went back to the table.
I left the pub and headed to my car, pretending I didn’t see Sean gazing at me through the window.
***
I awoke the following morning with a head full of cotton wool and my limbs sore and tired. My scratchy throat now felt like I had swallowed needles. I had also slept through my alarm and was due to be at work in fifteen minutes. Sliding out of bed, I made a cup of tea in order to wait out the time until the office opened.
Rachel conscientiously answered the phone as soon as it turned eight-thirty.
“Hi, Rach; it’s me, Abby.”
“Geez, you sound terrible. I take it you won’t be in today.”
“No. Could you please let Bronwyn know?”
“Sure. At least I know you don’t have a hangover. You left half your drink. Cold?”
I sniffled, “Well and truly; I feel shit.”
“Oh, you poor thing.” Her sympathy was short lived. “Those guys last night were nice. You’ve mentioned them to me before, haven’t you?”
“No, I don’t think—“
“Wednesday night guy!" She interrupted. “The long haired one. Scott, isn’t it? He's gorgeous.”
“Yes, that’s right. He called me the first time we were at the pub."
“Still not a boyfriend in training?”
“No,” I answered firmly.
“Well, good. Because you should have seen the look on Sean’s face when he thought Scott was leaving with you last night.”
“What look? Scott was just making sure I’d be okay to drive home. What’s it to him anyway?”
“He kind of looked... jealous? Suspicious? Um... concerned would be the best way to put it.”
“I’m sure... I’m a big girl,” I answered dryly, not taking her bait. She really wasn’t going to let up with this one. “What time did everyone leave?”
“Lachie and I left not long after you, and your friends left at the same time. Otherwise I couldn’t tell you. Sean is out of the office all day, and I haven’t seen anyone else yet, but it was fun. I think it’s going to be a weekly regular for the office. Listen, Bronwyn’s just arrived. I’ll tell her you’re sick. Hope you feel better soon and see you on Monday. Bye.”
She hung up before I could say any more.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I WAS THE FIRST TO ARRIVE at the designated restaurant in the CBD. Dianne's wild red hair was conspicuous amongst the other customers, despite her conventional blue suit, as she rushed in, ten minutes late. Dianne would be late for her own funeral.
“Hey, baby!“ she practically yelled, kissing my cheek then rubbing it to remove her lipstick mark. “How are you?” I noticed a woman had followed her in. “You remember Jemma, don't you? She used to be in Troy's department at work.”
I smiled at the other woman. Beautiful, slim, and perpetually tanned with perfectly highlighted, long coffee hair, Jemma had always kind of intimidated me. Not that my insecurity around her was unfounded. She was stunning. She also had a reputation for preferring men who were already taken, so I had watched her like a paranoid hawk the couple of times Josh had met her. She didn't give me any reason to worry though; she had been friendly towards him but nowhere near predatory. Maybe he wasn't her type. I knew it wasn't out of loyalty to me.
“Hi, Jemma. Nice to see you again.” I was pleasant. She smiled and sat down, sneaking a look around at the restaurant under her perfectly curled lashes, probably to check out the male contingent. “Where’s Troy?” I looked hopefully towards the entrance. “isn’t he coming?”
“He’ll be here in a minute,” Dianne replied. “How are you, anyway?”
“I’m sorry to hear about you and Josh.” Jemma pouted at me in what I assumed was sympathy.
“That’s okay. I’m fine,” I said cheerfully.
“Wow, you sound so happy.” Di clapped her hands together, "especially since our last phone call. So you’re finally over him?”
“Josh? God yeah.” I was glad I had ignored his phone message.
“That’s fantastic!” Dianne exclaimed, so loud that some of the other diners turned to look. She lowered her voice. “Troy tells me he’s coming back.”
“Yes, he is. He’ll be staying at my place for a bit.” Troy “Pottymouth” Patterson appeared, all six foot three of him, black hair sticking up, giving me a wide toothy smile, which quickly turned to a scowl when he saw Jemma seated at the table. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Oh I’m fine, thanks Troy,” Jemma answered, unmoved by his rudeness. “I saw Di outside, and she invited me along.”
He took the seat next to me and kissed me on the cheek, ignoring Jemma’s answer. “Hey, Abs, long time no see.”
“I know,” I said apologetically.
“So it’s definitely off with him then?” Jemma continued the conversation after we decided to do away with lunch and have coffee and cake instead.
“Oh, definitely.” I put a little too much conviction into it.
“He was a lovely guy.” Jemma went on, “And good-looking, too.”
“Jesus.” Troy glowered at her.
“Yes, he is, I guess.” I was surprised at her sudden interest in him, but even moreso at the tension between her and Troy. “Sometimes it’s a different story when you go out with someone, though,” I added, more as a reminder to myself than a warning to her. I threw Troy a remorseful look. This was his best friend I was talking about.
“Maybe I should call him.” Jemma stirred sugar into her tea. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Dianne and I exchanged glances, and she rolled her eyes at me.
“What the fuck, Jemma?” Troy burst out, shaking his head, “Fucking hell...”
“No... I guess not.” I answered rigidly. I no longer had any claim to him, but was taken aback by her insensitivity.
“Or you can fuck off.” Troy gazed at Jemma with distaste, before focusing his attention on me, smiling encouragingly. “So Di tells me you’ve got a new guy?”
“It’s nothing serious; we’re just having some fun,” I answered, still confused at the friction between Troy and Jemma. I would have to find out from Dianne what all that was about.
“Good for you. How do you know him?”
“He’s in my cousin’s band.”
“Cool. Anyone we know?”
“Have you heard of Reckless Choice?”
Troy thought for a few seconds then shook his head.
“Oh, I saw them play at PeaSeas the other night.” Jemma announced, “I didn’t see you there.” She narrowed her eyes.
“I can’t get to every gig.” I said matter-of-factly. “I was getting over a cold. Did you see Kate?”
“Oh, I said hello
to her. She’s with the drummer, isn’t she?”
“Yes, Nathan,” I answered and took a breath, turning to Troy, “Anyway—“
“He was alright.” Jemma interrupted, and I took a frustrated sip of my coffee. “But not as cute as the one I got to take home.”
I nearly choked on my drink. “Oh?” Please don't let it be Scott. He wouldn't, would he? Surely not, but then again...Oh please, please don't let it be Scott. Troy must have sensed my alarm and squeezed my shoulder.
Dianne looked helplessly from Jemma to me. I could tell she was as afraid as I was of what Jemma would say next.
“Well, the one I took home wasn't really the one I wanted. He left before I got to talk to him. But there's always next time.” She paused for drama by delicately slicing into her cake, unaware that she was killing me with the suspense—then again, perhaps not so unaware. I wanted to ram the fork into her eye and shout, 'Which one did you fuck, dammit?!'
She chewed slowly and swallowed, just as excruciatingly unhurried. “I took the guitarist home, the blonde guy.”
I almost couldn’t contain my delight and relief. “Luke. That's my cousin. He's nice, isn't he? Wow, you would be great together.” Then it dawned on me who would have left early. “So it was Daniel you liked, hey? He's got a girlfriend at the moment. She’s lovely,” I added, feeling a surge of loyalty towards Stacy. “Sexy voice, don't you think?”
“Oh, he was alright, too, but I liked the bass player.”
The horrified silence around the table was deafening as I gaped at her. “Sorry. He’s mine,” I finally spat. She already wanted Josh. I’d be fucked if she was to get her hands on Scott as well.
“So I guess there won’t be a next time, hey Jemma?” Troy declared, rather gleefully, “Obviously you wouldn't have a chance. Anyway, weren’t you interested in Josh? Or do you want all of Abby's leftovers?”
Dianne took that moment to rescue the conversation as death stares were exchanged. “So how’s that all going?”
“Great!” I gushed to her, purposefully ignoring Jemma, and partly to stick it to her. “We’re just taking it slow for now.”
When it was time to head back to work, I decided to do the adult thing and part with Jemma on a good note despite our heated conversation. “Luke’s really nice. I really do think you’d be good together.” It was the truth, but I had admittedly also grown more uncomfortable with her interest in Josh, as well as the fact that she fancied Scott.
***
“Oh, you’re back.” Sean found me in the kitchen the following afternoon. “Feeling better?”
“I’ve been back all week. You’re the one that’s been away. Do you want a cuppa?”
“Sure, thanks." He placed his cup on the counter. "Miss me, did you?”
“Of course,” I said sarcastically. “You’re the only reason why I come to work, Sean.”
“I saw your cousin play at PeaSeas on Saturday.”
“What did you think?” I handed him his tea.
“They're really good. I’m sure they’ll do well. ” He suddenly looked serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, and I’m sorry if this is none of my business, but is there something going on with you and um, what’s his name? The one with the piercing and the dark hair.”
“Scott? The other one you met at the pub?”
He nodded.
“We’re friends,” I answered warily, not sure where this was going. I didn’t add ‘with benefits.’
He looked slightly relieved.
Oh my God! He’s going to ask me out. Rachel was right. I waited for him to continue, not quite sure if I actually wanted him to. I was enjoying our easy friendship.
“Oh, that’s okay then. It’s just that I saw him messing about with a girl, kissing and stuff, and I was worried that if he and you...” The walls closed in around me, and I didn’t hear the rest. Tanya wasn’t lying after all. I wasn’t the only one.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"I WISH I WAS UNAWARE. If it's not true, please don't be there," I muttered a made up spell to myself. "Dammit!" I had hoped his van wouldn't be parked outside his flat when I pulled up. After Sean left the kitchen, I made a decision, there and then, that I couldn’t go on like this with Scott and would call the whole thing off straight after work. If I left it any later, I knew I wouldn’t go through with it. I think a part of me didn’t want to.
I’d been on the verge of tears ever since Sean told me about Scott, and I knew it was a matter of saving both my feelings and our friendship. I only hoped we actually had a friendship to save, and that this wasn’t just a physical attraction with no substance.
I knocked tentatively on the door and was disappointed when he opened it. Seemed I sucked at made-up spells, too.
“Hey, isn’t it my turn to go to your place? Sorry, I’m running late. I got held up at the studio.” He smiled innocently, which only made it harder. I did my best to ignore his lopsided grin as I stepped into the warmth of the flat and swallowed away the lump in my throat.
I didn’t want to start the conversation with the horrible “we need to talk” line, so I thought the best option was to just… “I can’t keep doing this!”
“Doing what?” His dark brows furrowed in confusion.
“This," I waved my arm, "With you," emphatically, "What we do,” with each sentence.
“I see,” he said as if I'd just told him I'd been taken by aliens and they very nicely dropped me off at his house. “You wanna sit down? I’ll get us a coffee.” He led me to the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. I sat uncomfortably, almost regretting what I had said when he reappeared a few minutes later.
“I’ve been doing a bit of soul searching... and I think I want a bit more than what we have.” I looked up at him, “I don’t mean with you,” I added quickly, noticing the growing look of surprise on his face and not wanting him to make the mistake of thinking I was in any way pressuring him to make our relationship more than it was, although really, that would have been the preferred outcome. But knowing his stance on relationships, I couldn’t handle yet another heartbreak if I told him.
“So I guess we’ll just be friends then,” he said, sitting down on the other chair. “Hey, it was fun though, wasn’t it?” I was saddened to notice that he didn’t appear to be particularly disappointed. It was almost as if he'd be glad to see the back of me. He probably already had a replacement lined up. It took every ounce of self-control to not let my emotions bubble to the surface, although what I really wanted to do was just burst into tears. If anything, it was obvious I wasn’t cut out for this type of relationship, despite my best intentions. I should have let it go after we had made up again, just walked away when my feelings were more intact. Now I’d paid the ultimate price by letting my emotions into it, and when my heart got crushed into a million pieces, I didn’t even have the right to confront him or be angry about it. It’s not like we had some sort of exclusivity clause worked out.
“It was great.” I smiled, faking my own lack of remorse.
“So what brought this on? This soul-searching," he asked. "Is this because of your ex? That phone call?”
“No. I haven’t spoken to him.” Josh had tried to ring me a number of times since that day when Scott was at my house. I had spent the last few weeks screening all my calls. “I guess I’m just after something a bit more stable than what we have,” I elaborated, looking deep into the coffee in my hand. “I’m honestly not the kind of girl for this casual thing." I bit thoughtfully on my bottom lip. “But I really like you and I hope we can stay in touch.” I meant every word I said, particularly the bit about really liking him. I was surprised that I felt bold enough to look him straight in the eye when I said that, but it was more to stop myself crying, and unfortunately, his face didn’t give anything away.
“Sure.” He twisted his mouth into an amused smile. “Can we have one more go? As a goodbye?”
“What?” He was taking this rather flippantly, which only made me feel worse.
&
nbsp; “I’m joking. I’m joking.” He waved his hands in front of him, laughing before suddenly turning serious. “I guess you’re right, I mean well, the band and everything. It's getting pretty busy with the recording. We've still got a video to do, and we'll be touring soon anyway. I wouldn’t want to end up messing with you too much. I guess I can't afford any serious attachments at the moment.”
“So we’ll be friends then?” I guess 'friends' was the most I was ever going to get.
“Yeah, of course. You're still coming to our gig near your work, aren't you?” He gave me a sideways glance as he switched on the TV. “But before you go, can you help me out with this game?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AS WAS MY OLD HABIT, I threw myself into work—early morning arrivals and remaining in the office deep into the evenings. Avalon IT had become my sanctuary. Scott was now all but a sweet memory and a source of countless fantasies. Despite not having seen him in a few weeks, he was a constant topic of discussion whenever I spoke to Di or Kate.
“So how are you going?” Dianne used her sympathetic voice over the phone. "The gig was great, and he's lovely."
“I’m fine, really.” This was a lie. “I just don’t want to talk about him right now.” So was this.
“Okay, okay. Sorry... But you miss him though, don’t you?”
“Sometimes, yeah maybe.” I was beginning to wonder if I had done the right thing. I hadn’t seen him since the day I broke things off, and the resulting hole in my life felt like it was growing every day.
"I also met your workmate Rachel," she told me. "She's very nice."
"She's lovely." I agreed. “Did I tell you that Josh came around?” It was the only way I could get the subject away from the gig. Somehow my previous sore point wasn’t as hard to talk about anymore, considering the recent developments.
“He did?”
“I’d been screening my calls, but I was talking to Mum, and she had to go and said she would call me back in a few minutes. So I answered, and it was him.” I heard Di draw in a sharp breath. “So…” I continued. “I told him I couldn’t talk, and he said he was coming over and just hung up. When he knocked, I just didn’t answer the door.”
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