by Leslie Caine
Half an hour later, Helen called and said that she was going to have to cancel, that she’d discovered her car was “on the fritz,” and she’d had to have it towed to the repair shop.
“Where are you now?” I asked.
“At home. A mechanic dropped me off. They tried to give me a loaner car, but I hate driving cars I’m unfamiliar with.”
Kay would be going right past Helen’s house on the way here, but I said, “How about if I come pick you up right now, and I’ll bring you home again afterwards? Better yet, you can spend the night here. Or do I need to get Audrey on the phone to extend that invitation herself?”
“It would be lovely of you to come get me, but I’m going to have to pass on the invitation to stay overnight. Ella and Vator really hate being left home alone.”
“You could always ask Rachel to drop in and check on them,” I teased.
Helen chuckled. “She probably will drop in, whether I ask her to or not.” She paused. “On second thought, yes, actually. I’d love to accept your lovely invitation. I’m nervous about staying here alone at night, now that I won’t even have a working car.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Kay was searching for a parking space in front of my home right while we were. They emerged at the same time, and the two women stood staring at each for a few awkward seconds. Then both started apologizing to the other.
“The fault is all mine,” Kay said, a statement that I happened to agree with completely. “I was being silly....overemotional. I flew off the handle.”
Helen said, “In retrospect, I could have reacted better myself—”
“I had to take a good long look at myself after I got home. I think it was just my envy that made me say such nasty things.”
“Envy? Of what?”
“It was none of my business that you and Jack had an affair. The hard truth is that I really only objected because you and Lois were always winding up with the men.”
“Maybe I should—” I began to say, embarrassed that they were having such a personal conversation right in front of me.
“Kay, none of that is true,” Helen said. “It wasn’t Jack and me who had the affair. It was Rachel and George.”
I managed to avoid gasping, but just barely. Kay looked shocked and confused. “But...you confessed about it to me. You said you’d had this...dalliance with the neighbor you deeply regretted. And that was why you didn’t like to be around Jack Schwartz anymore.”
“Lois was there at the time and was eavesdropping. I had to say something she’d believe. I told you that story to protect Lois. It was a partial truth. Jack and I had long had a harmless little crush on each other. But he was married, so I never let things progress, even when I found out his wife was being unfaithful to him. Although Rachel has apparently never accepted that. She seems to want to believe that Jack and I had an affair, so she could excuse her own infidelities.”
“So you kept the truth from your own sister about her husband’s cheating ways?” Kay asked incredulously.
“Oh, Lois already knew. I simply spared her the pain of knowing that I knew what she was putting up with. And all for the sake of staying married to her despicable husband.”
“‘Despicable?’ Oh, come now, Helen. George wasn’t all that bad.”
“Oh, yes he was, I’m afraid.” Helen put her arm around Kay’s shoulder, and the three of us began to slowly make our way toward the house. “You know, Kay, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. You’ve suppressed a lot of hurt and disappointment over my role in your breakup with George.”
“That’s not true. I’ve long since let bygones be bygones.”
“Even if that was once true, it seems to me as though it no longer is. You’ve been making odd little comments to me for a full year now. Ever since Lois and Teddy started dating.”
Kay sighed. “That did bring up some past hurts. I’m sorry. And once you and Teddy started dating, I...well, it got really painful for me.”
“Teddy and I aren’t dating, and I think he finally realizes as much. Furthermore, though I hate to speak ill of the dead, you should realize that George Miller was simply not the wonderful man that you thought he was. Not only was he unfaithful, but he was a crooked cop.”
“Oh, that’s nonsense! You’ve swallowed all those silly rumors that went around.”
“I just recently had to return some expensive merchandise that he stole.”
She blinked. “Maybe he couldn’t help himself.” Her cheeks turned crimson. “I...know what that’s like, to have uncontrollable urges to take things that don’t belong to you.”
“This was different, Kay.”
“It was grand larceny,” I added as I held the front door for them. “A museum heist, actually.”
“My goodness!”
Audrey swept into the foyer, all set to welcome her guests, but hesitated as Helen said to Kay, “He broke my sister’s heart much worse than he’d broken yours. I deeply regret not having spoken up about my doubts about George, while there was still time. If only I’d known he was that much of a scoundrel. Maybe I could have prevented their eloping somehow.”
Kay said bitterly, “But, of all people, you knew George and I were in love. Or rather, that I was in love with him. So did Lois. Even so, she ran off with him. And you helped Lois to win him away from me!”
“What could I do?” Helen pleaded. “She was my sister. She told me she was in love with him. She begged me for advice.”
“Even though you knew he was engaged to your best friend.” The bitterness was rife in Kay’s voice.
“As I already said, I regret what I did. But these are hardly forgotten ‘bygones,’ now are they?” Helen asked gently. “I’m sorry, Kay. From the bottom of my heart. You don’t know how many times I’ve told myself that at least my best friend wasn’t saddled with being married to my louse of a brother-in-law.”
“Truth be told, part of me felt that way too. You’re right. I was too good for him.” She chuckled. “Not to mention what a union between a kleptomaniac and a crooked cop would have produced.” Kay finally looked around and took in our surroundings in the foyer. “Oh, my gosh. This room is lovely!”
“Welcome to my home,” Audrey told them. “I’m so glad you could come. And that you’ve made such a good start on dinner conversation.”
Audrey’s dinner was fabulous. We began with a classic simple Mediterranean salad—virgin olive oil drizzled over juicy ripe Italian plum tomatoes with thick slices of Mozzarella and fresh basil—then she served popovers, delicious roasted lamb marinated in garlic and rosemary, mashed potatoes, green beans, and lemon cake with ginger ice cream for dessert. I considered for the zillionth time how fortunate I’d been to luck into living with the local domestic goddess herself. Afterwards, Kay suddenly announced that she’d forgotten about her book club’s meeting tonight and simply had to catch the tail end. Helen insisted upon walking her to her car, and the two of them raced outside.
After praising Audrey’s cooking one final time, I started washing the dishes, which was hardly unpleasant duty for me—I loved the balance and feel of her china so much that even washing them was a pleasure. I told her, “Hosting a dinner party was such a nice thing for you to do. And it certainly seemed to do the trick. Helen and Kay are back to being the best of friends, and it was an enjoyable evening.”
“Yes, it was. Odd, but enjoyable.”
“I don’t know about you, but my definition of ‘odd,’ has been changing over time. It all seemed pretty normal to me.”
Audrey said nothing. At length, I turned. She was staring at the built-in cherry-and-granite-topped desk across the room. “Erin? Have you seen my pearl-handled letter opener?”
Chapter 26
Just then, I heard the front door open and assumed Helen was letting herself back inside. I said to Audrey, “It was there on the desk the last time I saw it.”
“Yes. I saw it there, too, as I was putting dinner on the tabl
e. I was hoping you’d moved it someplace.”
I sighed. “No, but I know who took it.”
Helen entered the kitchen. “Took what?”
“Nothing important,” Audrey answered breezily. “I just misplaced my letter opener.”
“Oh, no,” Helen moaned. “So that’s why Kay rushed off. She’d pocketed your letter opener and felt too guilty to stick around. She can’t help herself, Audrey.”
“I realize that. You know, I’ve never met an actual kleptomaniac before,” Audrey said cheerfully. “I wonder if I can work that subject matter into my show somehow.”
That would be quite a segment: Domestic Thievery with Audrey Munroe, I mused.
Mid-afternoon the next day I drove Helen home. As I pulled into the driveway, Kay waved to us from Helen’s front porch. A pair of large suitcases was beside her. “I asked Kay to feed Ella and Vator on her way home,” Helen explained. “But I certainly didn’t expect her to be intent on moving in with me when I arrived.”
The moment we joined Kay on the porch, she announced, “I packed up my bags, and this time I’m not taking no for answer. You shouldn’t be alone in this house, Helen.”
“We’ll discuss the matter further later,” Helen said curtly, unlocking the door.
“Yoo hoo,” Rachel called, crossing the street. “Is everything all right?”
“Fine.”
“The police were here looking for you a couple of times last night, Helen. Did they arrest you?”
“No, if they had, I’d be in jail,” Helen said evenly.
“Rachel, mind your own business for once in your life,” Kay snapped.
“You can’t treat me like that, Kay! You have no right! For your information, this is Helen’s house, not yours!”
Helen grabbed one of Kay’s bags. “Kay is staying with me for the time being. And I agree with her that you should leave.”
“Fine.” Rachel glared at both of them. “I know not to stay where I’m not wanted.” Even so, she made no move to leave.
Kay stood staring at her. “It must have been hard on you when Lois moved in here, eh, Rachel? Being so close to the woman you betrayed.”
Rachel’s jaw dropped and she sputtered as though too shocked to form actual words. She stepped inside the door, and finally gathered her wits enough to cry, “I didn’t betray her; I betrayed Jack. Lois’s husband was the one who pursued me relentlessly. He’s fully responsible for the betrayal of Lois.” She wailed, “It’s bad enough knowing that I have to bear the weight of what I’d done to my poor Jack, without having to think about Lois as well.”
“That was a long time ago,” Helen said, giving Kay a sharp glance.
Rachel burst into tears. “I’ll never forgive myself for the affair, it’s true. But I swear to you all, I am innocent of both of the murders in this house.”
“Why should we believe you?” Kay asked.
“This is the end of our friendship, Helen! I’m never coming back. It’s obvious that I’m not wanted.” Rachel ran sobbing across the street.
“She’ll be back tomorrow,” Kay remarked.
“She calls our relationship a friendship?” Helen shook her head.
“My God,” Kay said. “It really was Rachel and George who were fooling around. You were telling the truth.”
“Of course I was. You didn’t believe me?”
“I wanted to, but...it was just such a strange story. I didn’t understand why you’d lie and confess to a bogus affair.”
“If I hadn’t, I was afraid you’d figure out that it was Rachel and George. Lois would have felt humiliated.”
“In any case, it’s such a shame that Jack had such a dreadful wife. Whereas George and Rachel clearly deserved one another.” Kay made a deliberate show of patting a lump in her jacket pocket, muttering, “I wonder what this is?” She pulled out Audrey’s letter opener. “Goodness. I wonder how this got in there. I must have picked it up someplace and stuck it in my pocket, accidentally.” She then removed her jacket and draped it over a pile of items on the piano bench, setting the letter opener on top. “Erin, why don’t you show me the progress you’re making in the den?”
Kay led the way through the French doors into the den. I watched in amusement as Helen promptly snatched up Audrey’s letter opener and stuck it in my purse.
I said to Kay, “I’m hoping to have this room in—” At the sound of someone opening the front door, I stopped and pivoted.
“Ding dong,” Stephanie said, leaning in without ringing the bell. “Is it all right if I come in?”
“Yes,” Helen said, but she was staring at her niece in surprise. Stephanie seemed barely able to stand upright. It wasn’t even three o’clock in the afternoon, but she was obviously very drunk. Stephanie dropped into the love seat.
Finally noticing my presence, Stephanie snorted. “Hello there, Erin. Figures you’d be here. Are you homesteading? Trying to get yourself adopted, maybe?”
I didn’t bother to respond.
Kay asked, “Are you all right, Stephanie?”
“Other than my being the last living member of my immediate family, yeah, sure. I’m just peachy.”
“You’ve been drinking,” Helen scolded. “Why are you driving in that condition?”
“I only had a couple glasses of wine.”
“Oh, Stephanie,” Helen said. “You’re drunk. You were putting yourself and others at risk! Honestly! What do you think your parents would say to you, if they were here now?”
“They’re not. And I’ve been an adult for a long time.”
“You can’t drown your sorrows with alcohol.”
“Coulda fooled me. My sorrows feel like they’ve been drowned. I feel happier right now than I have in days.”
“Pardon me for interfering, but as your—”
“Bull,” Stephanie interrupted her aunt. “Why should now be any different than any other time? You were always criticizing me and my husband. You caused the marital strife between me and my husband! It led to the breakup of my marriage!”
“Name one time that I criticized your marriage!” Helen retorted.
Stephanie did her best to focus her gaze on her aunt. “You didn’t, in so many words. But I could always tell what you were thinking.”
“You’re blaming me for the thoughts that you assumed I was having?”
“You killed my mother!” Stephanie stabbed a finger at her. “You sneaked those peppers into her food. Then you cowardly left town so you wouldn’t have to watch her die.”
“That’s not true!”
With unmasked fury, Kay stepped between Helen and Stephanie. “Stephanie Miller, I don’t care if you are drunk as a skunk, you have no right to say something so terrible to your aunt! Helen would never do anything like that! We all know how much she loved your mother!”
Stephanie held up her palms. “You’re absolutely right, Kay. I take it all back. I didn’t mean any of it. I was actually just testing you.”
“Testing me?” Kay repeated indignantly.
“What are you talking about?” Helen demanded.
“I needed to see how Kay would react,” Stephanie answered, slurring her words. “She’s the one I really suspect is the killer.”
“Oh, please, Stephanie,” Helen scolded. “You don’t mean that! Do you think a couple of glasses of wine can turn you into James Bond?”
Kay retorted to Stephanie, “Of any of us, you are the likeliest suspect.”
“You honestly think I would kill poor Peter? My own sad-sack brother?”
“You would if you felt you had no choice,” Kay said. “Maybe he saw you kill Jack. Maybe he threatened to turn you in.”
“And what possible motive would I have had for killing Jack Schwartz?” Stephanie narrowed her eyes at Kay. “You, on the other hand, always hated my mother for stealing my father from you.”
“I admit,” Kay conceded with a sigh, “that I was always jealous of Lois for stealing George away. But Helen recently helped me to reali
ze that George wasn’t exactly the perfect husband.”
“Nor the perfect father,” Stephanie said under her breath. “But the point now is: I didn’t kill anybody.”
“Neither did I,” Kay stated.
A silent pall fell over the room. Finally Kay said, “It’s time we talked about something happy, for a change.” Kay grinned. “Teddy has been spending a lot of time with me lately, Helen.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, indeed. So would you mind terribly if the two of us were to become a couple?”
Helen was momentarily nonplussed, but then she managed: “I like living alone, whereas Teddy obviously needs a wife. You two are a much better match than he and I ever would be. But...I think it would be really wise for you to wait a while, Kay. Things are so dangerous around here, and—”
“Aunt Helen’s trying to warn you that you’re probably getting romantically involved with a killer,” Stephanie cut in with grim satisfaction.
Kay’s jaw dropped. She sneered at Stephanie. “Now you’re accusing Teddy of murder? Who’s next—the Easter Bunny?”
“Teddy’s bad news, Kay. He and my father got into lots of questionable situations. And sometimes made terrible decisions. Not to mention that Dad told me he was the worst cop imaginable.” Stephanie got unsteadily to her feet. “I’m going home now. Got to sleep this off.”
“I’ll drive you,” I offered.
“You?” she mocked. “No way. You’ll probably drive me straight off a cliff, if you get half a chance.”
“I’ll drive her,” Kay said, grabbing her keys.
“I’ll go, too, to keep you company,” Helen said. “Just let me check things upstairs first.” She eyed her staircase anxiously, and I realized that she was still afraid of climbing it alone.
“Can I help you get the guest room ready for Kay, Helen?” I suggested.
“Oh, yes, dear. That would be lovely. Thank you.”
“We’ll wait for you in the car.” Kay steered Stephanie toward the door.
I carried Kay’s bags as I led the way upstairs and opened the door. To my considerable surprise, the room was in livable condition. In fact, with just a bit of tweaking here and there, it would be lovely. “Wow, Helen! I’m so impressed! When were you doing this?”
