I might be. But I can’t worry about that now. “According to Dad, they’re also going to fix our memories so we don’t remember any of this.”
“Maybe taking away these memories isn’t as insidious as we first thought. Maybe they’re trying to help us survive. Do you really want to live remembering Malachi die or watching Brick with the machine gun?”
“No,” I say honestly. A lifetime of nightmares isn’t my idea of a good time. But neither is being reprogrammed to forget what I lived through. What Malachi died for . . . What Brick did for me . . . “But I need to remember. Forgetting that it happened doesn’t change anything. Nothing can change the past. My father’s nightmares prove the memory wipe isn’t complete. Now instead of being haunted by what he did and didn’t see and do, he can only guess and wonder. Isn’t that worse?”
Tomas kicks at the ground in front of him. I can see him struggling with my words and I can understand why. The idea of forgetting is seductive.
Looking up, he says, “Your father’s and Dr. Flint’s nightmares make me think the memory wipe isn’t being done with surgery.”
I tend to agree. Dr. Flint says that the long-term and short-term memory centers of the brain are easy to find, but that every brain is slightly different. Trying to alter a specific path in the brain that only affects three or four weeks of memory would be tricky on one patient, let alone the hundreds who have graduated from the University.
“Drugs? An audio pulse? Hypnosis?” Counteracting all the options seems impossible, especially out here.
“My bet is drugs.”
So is mine, especially after talking to the man on the other side of the fence. I consider telling Tomas about the man, the vial he gave me and the truth serum the Testers will dispense to us. Withholding the information feels like a betrayal. Only, I don’t know how to explain why I have not shared this information with Tomas up until now. I had good reasons, but Tomas might not understand. The last thing we need right now is hurt feelings or recriminations. I will have to find another time to tell him.
Instead of sharing my secrets, I ask, “How can we fight a drug we don’t know or understand?”
“I don’t know if we can. I guess once we get back to the Testing Center we’ll have to figure out how they plan on administering it. Maybe one of the staff will tell us if we ask in the right way. If they put the drug in water or something, we’ll have to act like we drank it. Then pretend we don’t remember anything from before our arrival at The Testing.” He takes a step toward me and runs a hand over my cheek. “I’ve done and seen things out here I don’t want to relive the rest of my life, but I can’t imagine not remembering the first time I kissed you.”
His lips find mine with a passion that takes my breath away. Maybe it’s the fever that causes me to shiver as he kisses my cheek, my neck, my lips. But I don’t think so. I wrap my arms tight around his neck and return his kisses with my own—hot, urgent, needy. A deep yearning fills me as I struggle to get closer, although we are wrapped together so tight, I doubt air could pass between us. But it doesn’t feel like enough. And when Tomas steps away, we are both left panting and wanting more.
But more will have to wait. We’ve been away from our microphones for long enough. Any longer and the Testing officials will wonder about our silence. Tomas places one last, incredibly sweet kiss on my lips, takes my hand, and walks me back to our camp.
When we arrive, I pretend to wake up, ask questions about what happened while I was asleep, and listen with a smile as Tomas weaves a tale about a squirrel he tried to capture. I don’t know if those listening are amused, but I am.
We eat lunch and mount our bicycles, hoping to travel another thirty miles before dark. Only, I’m not sure I’m going to make it that far. The pills are no longer controlling the sizzling pain in my arm. Or if they are having an impact, my arm is worse than I imagined. Ten miles along, I find my body slowing down. Tomas encourages me to keep pedaling, and I do try. But my pace doesn’t pick up. It is all I can do just to stay balanced and moving forward.
Another ten miles along the road, it is Tomas who stops and points out a shape running along the northern fence line. I squint into the sunshine, trying to make out the details of who it might be. Certainly another Testing candidate. By the gait I believe the candidate is male. Tomas then points behind us. Far in the distance is another figure stumbling along the road. Friend or foe? We keep moving forward, hoping to avoid answering the question.
Two more miles and I can no longer pedal. My head is spinning. My throat is dry. The wounds on my arm scream so loud it is hard to focus on anything else. I tell Tomas I have to stop.
Unwrapping the bandage, I prepare for the worst and find it. The wounds are swollen and hot to the touch. When I was a kid, I fell and opened a large gash on my leg. Dr. Flint was away from the colony, so Mom patched up the wound and made me stay in bed. Several days later, my leg looked a lot like my arm currently does. Luckily, Dr. Flint had returned and knew what to do. He gave me a small dose of something for the pain, broke open the scab, and squeezed yellow and white pus out of the wound along with a small piece of metal. The contaminated metal was the source of the problem.
I’m certain the scabs on my arm now trap whatever poison is infecting me. And there is no Dr. Flint. Only Tomas, me, and my need to survive.
Tomas starts a fire. He boils water and pieces of the towel I took from the Testing Center to use for bandages since I have used all the ones in the medical kit. Meanwhile, I sit down, take several more pain pills, and ask Tomas for the scabbard to his knife. He gives me a strange look, but slides the knife out, unstraps the case, and hands it over. Before I can question what I’m about to do, I bite down on the thick leather, grab the top of my left arm, and squeeze.
Had I not been seated, the pain would have brought me to my knees. As it is, my stomach heaves, my eyes tear, and my lungs gasp for air as my fingers dig into my flesh. Bit by bit the scabs break free of the skin and pus—yellow and green and swirling with milky-looking blood—streams out. I gag at the stench of meat left too long in the sun. I realize the meat smell is coming from my arm and begin to cry. But I don’t stop squeezing. Pus runs down my arm. Tomas takes the bandage I removed earlier, dips it in water, and begins to dab away the infection as it oozes out. But no matter how quickly he works, there is more to take its place.
The world swims in and out of focus. I double over from the pain. And still I squeeze. My fingers move alongside the middle of the wounds and squeeze again. Then lower still.
Tomas talks to me, but his voice sounds miles away. I can’t make out his words. Time loses meaning as I force the infection from my body drop by putrid yellow drop. I only stop when the wounds stream blood red. No yellow. No green or white. No infection—for now.
I free my fingers from their viselike grip and let Tomas clean the stinging open cuts with hot water. He uses the last of the ointment and wraps my arm in sterile wet cloths. He rocks me back and forth and whispers that everything will be okay. That I should sleep. He’ll make sure I stay safe.
My dreams are filled with equal combinations of horror and happiness. Ryme and Malachi help me bury the girl without eyes. Zeen forgives me for stealing from him and reminds me to call home with the Transit Communicator when I get the chance. Roman grins as he walks through a door and abandons me to a group of watchers who scratch me over and over with their claws and then explode before my eyes. My father’s arms rock me for hours the way he did when I was little. The rocking stops. He cocks his head to the side and tells me I have to get up. Someone is here.
My eyes snap open.
I can feel Tomas breathing in the dark beside me—slow, steady breaths that speak of a deep, restoring sleep. Taking care with my arm, I push my body to a seated position. I flex my fingers on my injured hand. They move easier than yesterday. The rest of the arm and shoulder doesn’t feel as swollen, and either the medication has finally kicked in or the worst of the pain is gone. I blink back tear
s of relief, and out of the corner of my eye see something shift in the shadows. Holding my breath, I wait for it to move again. I catch a glimpse of its size in the fading moonlight. Big. Human. One of the mutated inhabitants of this area or a fellow Testing candidate? From the way the shadow moves, I think it’s a candidate.
Our fire has burned out and we are camped in a ditch behind a set of bushes, which probably makes it hard to spot us. But daylight isn’t far away, and the candidate doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry. He’s slowly picking his way across the ground about fifty yards away and is coming in our direction.
Slowly, I reach out my arm, trying to find my Testing bag. I am panicked when I realize it’s not nearby. Tomas must have moved it after I’d fallen asleep. And with it, my gun.
I squint into the darkness, trying to locate the bag, but its dark color camouflages it from sight. Without knowing our new neighbor’s intentions, I don’t dare move around. Lying back on the ground, I nudge Tomas and whisper in his ear, “Another candidate is out there.” His eyes spring open, alert and fearful. Then he nods to let me know he understands. Together we hold our breath and wait.
The snap of twigs and the rustle of leaves tell us our fellow candidate is closer. The first gray rays of dawn chase the darkness as I peer under the bushes. No one is there.
Tomas raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. He doesn’t see him either. The other candidate must have already passed us by and is traveling toward Tosu City.
“I think we’re safe,” Tomas whispers. A branch snaps under him as he sits up.
I hear the whistling of the knife flying through the air a moment before I see it in the pale light. That extra second saves my life as I dive to the side and watch the blade sail into the bushes behind me. Our attacker gives an angry shout as I scramble to my feet and look around for my Testing bag. Tomas draws his knife and races forward as I spot the bag sitting on the ground next to my bicycle over fifteen feet away. The sound of metal on metal tells me our attacker has another weapon and Tomas and he are now engaged in battle.
Tomas cries out as the attacker’s long, wide knife bites into his side. And that’s when I get a look at the other candidate. His face is thinner and his cheeks hollow, but I would recognize that sneer anywhere. Roman. And now he is pulling his knife back and preparing to strike Tomas again.
My fingers fumble with the fastenings of my bag as blade sings against blade. I frantically dig through my belongings and hear another shout. This time Roman is the one bleeding, but he doesn’t grip his wounded arm or flee. Letting out an angry growl, Roman lowers his head, charges, and tackles Tomas to the ground. A scream rips from my throat as a knife barely misses Tomas’s neck. For a moment I am paralyzed, watching the two wrestle in an effort to gain the upper hand. And Roman does. He pins Tomas to the ground and raises his knife just as I pull my gun from my bag and take aim.
A shot rings out. Blood blooms on the right temple of Roman’s forehead. The sneer is gone, replaced by surprise and then emptiness as the knife drops from his hand and he pitches forward—dead.
Holding his side, Tomas crawls out from under the dead boy and lets out a sigh of relief at being safe. But we aren’t safe. Tomas doesn’t know what I know. I didn’t take aim in time. I was not the one who fired the gun.
Chapter 19
“GET DOWN,” I yell as I look from side to side, my entire body humming with tension and fear. “I didn’t fire. There’s someone else out there with a gun.”
“That would be me.”
Spinning, I aim and tighten my finger on the trigger before the familiarity of the voice hits me square in the chest. The cocky tone that could only belong to one person out here.
Will.
I lower my weapon and see him strutting toward us, twirling a pistol around his finger. And while I know Tomas doesn’t want me to like or trust Will, I can’t help wrapping my arms around him. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you,” I say. “I’m not sure I would have been able to save Tomas. Thank you.”
Although I’m not sure whether I’m thanking him for saving Tomas or for sparing me the need to take someone’s life. Probably both.
Will steps back and slides the gun into his pocket. “I’m sure you would have managed without me. In a strange way, it’s a good thing this idiot was stupid enough to attack you guys. I would never have found you without all the noise. I’ve been looking for days and figured the two of you had already gotten to the end of the test.”
“No such luck,” Tomas says, holding his side.
“Yeah.” Will gives Tomas a nasty smile. “I know you hoped you’d seen the last of me. Guess I just proved you can trust me after all.”
For a minute, Will and Tomas look at each other. Tomas is the first to look away as he says, “I guess so.”
“Good.” Will laughs. “Then why don’t we let Cia here take a look at that cut before you bleed to death. If you die, I won’t be able to lord my heroics over you. What fun would that be?”
At the mention of Tomas’s injury, I rush to examine it, doing my best to ignore Roman’s lifeless body crumpled on the ground. Tomas’s cut is long but shallow and won’t need stitches. Which is good, because after the past couple days I don’t know if my fingers would be steady enough to perform the job. Will offers me the use of his medical kit, and I quickly clean, medicate, and bandage the wound.
Once I’m done, I hand the supplies back to Will and say, “You caught up to us. That must mean you found wheels. Right?”
“No wheels.” Will gives me a big smile. “I found something even better. Want to take a look?”
Not too far from the road sits a small, single-passenger open-cabin skimmer. Kind of like a hovering version of a scooter. My father has three of them at his lab for light field use. They are good over short distances, but long distances make them overheat and they can’t hold much more than 160 pounds, which limits their usefulness. My father and two of my four brothers are too heavy. They can’t even get off the ground. But Will and his lanky frame are perfect for the design.
“Where did you find it?”
I hear the suspicion in Tomas’s voice, but Will doesn’t seem to notice as he explains, “Two days after I left you guys, I ran across a big stone building with a huge metal door. It took me a while to get the door open, but it was worth it. There were four of these babies inside. None of them were in working order, but I was able to use parts from the other three to fix this one. Looks like the Commonwealth stashed a lot of vehicles and other things in the second half of this test. I’ve seen a couple Testing candidates riding these, and one of the guys I ran into found a bunch of automatic weapons in a cabin just before the last city. I guess the first part of the test was about survival. The second is testing how fast we get to the end and how many competitors we’ll take out along the way.”
“How many candidates do you plan on taking out before the end, Will?” Tomas asks the question so quietly, I almost miss it.
But Will doesn’t. With a serious expression, he answers, “The only competitors I plan on eliminating are ones who pose direct threats. Kind of like our friend over there.” He hooks his thumb toward the body on the ground. “Or do you think he deserved to live?”
Will gives Tomas a smug, almost challenging smile. So much for hoping Will’s heroics would put the two on the same side. I step in between the two and say, “Look, according to the Transit Communicator we have about eighty-eight miles left to go. Instead of sniping at each other, our time would be better spent eating breakfast, packing up, and getting the hell out of here.”
“Fair point, Cia.” Will flashes an easy smile. “I’m willing to put our differences behind us if Tomas is.”
Silently, Tomas nods, and I let out a sigh of relief. I’m not naïve enough to think the two won’t find opportunities to fight along the way, but I’m hoping they’ll keep it to a minimum.
While I set out breakfast, Will rummages through Roman’s Testing bag and finds clothes, two bo
ttles of water, a compass, a fishing kit, several tools, and a bow with a quiver of arrows. All marked as Testing candidate supplies. Evidence the boy attacked and at least wounded one other candidate. We dine on pears and rabbit and divide the new supplies among our own bags. I keep the knife and bow and arrows if for no other reason than I don’t want my two adversarial companions to have additional weapons to use if their sniping gets out of control. Then, while Tomas and Will aren’t looking, I remove Roman’s identification bracelet and slip it into my bag alongside the one that belonged to the girl Tomas and I buried. Roman was untrustworthy. He came into The Testing intent on winning at any cost. And while I hate what he did to reach his goal, I realize I hate the Testing officials more. Roman didn’t deserve to be a future leader, but death seems an extreme penalty to pay. For good or ill, his life should be remembered.
Tomas and I put our bags on our bicycle racks, Will heads for his skimmer, and the three of us meet up on the road. There are two shadows on the horizon behind us. Other Testing candidates? If Will is right, they could have vehicles that will overtake us soon. We have to get moving.
Will’s solar-powered skimmer is faster than our bicycles, but he keeps pace as we pedal. I can’t help but wonder why. Knowing how fast my father’s open-cabin skimmers travel, I’m pretty sure Will could be at the finish line in a matter of hours. While he might feel some kind of responsibility to me for my part in keeping him in The Testing, saving Tomas this morning has more than paid the debt. Although maybe Will doesn’t see it that way since, technically, he didn’t save my life. I don’t know. Whatever his reasoning, I’m grateful to have another pair of eyes watching the horizon for signs of danger. And it’s good he’s watching because Will is the first to spot a glint on the road ahead. A tripwire that our wheels would have triggered.
We get off our bicycles and wheel them off the road, around the trap, and then back onto the smooth surface. Will’s skimmer hovers over the trap, and we continue along. We pedal a bit slower as we watch for signs of other dangers. Tomas hates the delay. So do I, but adding a few hours to our journey is nothing compared to the alternative.
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