I felt a glass bottle nestled snuggly in the bag. I looked up questioningly. “What’s this bottle in here?”
“It’s just some homemade hooch. It won’t freeze, and I don’t know, it’s good for stuff,” he shrugged. “Cleaning wounds, keeping warm. I’m sorry.”
I shoved the canvas bag under one of the bunk mattresses and out of sight. “So how do we get out of this place?” Surviving above ground with scant supplies didn’t worry me; getting out of Hot Springs did. I hadn’t seen anyone coming or going since we’d first come underground.
“There won’t be anyone guarding the main entrance after lights out. That will be your window to leave.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Ryan.”
“Don’t do that.” He ducked his head. “You’ve got nothing to thank me for.”
+++++
Ryan hadn’t lied. Soon after the overhead lights flickered out that evening for lights-out, the halls emptied. My father and I and Nora and her father silently stalked, seemingly undetected, to the front entrance. We were bundled up for the world above ground, backpacks secured to our backs, supplies divvied up amongst the four of us. The only thing that separated us from the outside was the long corridor that climbed above ground.
“Be as quiet as you can,” my dad instructed. “We’re not safe yet.”
I followed his lead through the thick darkness just as I had that first night when the group from Hot Springs had raided our home. Above ground it was silent, the only sound the crunching of snow beneath our boots. The air was still, absent of any wind, making the night temperature manageable. We’d be able to travel with the moon as our guide tonight without freezing.
My dad poked his head around the corner of a cinder block building on the old high school grounds. He quickly pulled his head back and quietly swore.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Two men,” he whispered. “They look like guards.”
I peered around the corner. Two men, bundled up in heavy overcoats, smoked cigarettes just outside the compound's main entrance. They looked relaxed, leaning against a chain-link fence. Their guns, long barreled and glinting beneath the moonlight, were propped up against the fence as well.
I looked to my dad for reassurance. How were we going to leave without them seeing us? Beside me, I heard him take a deep breath. He stepped out from the shadows before I could stop him.
“Hey guys.”
“Who’s there?” one of the men called out. They both discarded their cigarettes and retrieved their guns.
“It’s Brandon Poulsen. I’m part of that group you all took in a few days ago.”
The two men rattled their weapons. “You’re not supposed to be up here,” one of the men said. His voice sounded nervous and unsure.
My dad held up his hands. “I know. But just listen, my family and I, we need to leave. No hard feelings, but we just can’t stay here anymore.”
One of the men lowered his weapon, but the other had his still raised. “Did you talk to the Mayor about this?”
“Yeah,” my dad lied without hesitation. “He said he understood why we had to go.”
Both men now lowered their guns, and I felt a wave of relief as I continued to hide behind the cinder block building. Nora, standing beside me, nudged me in the ribs, but I held up a gloved finger to my lips, indicating she should remain silent.
“I need to make a call to confirm that,” the man who’d been doing all the talking stated.
My dad’s voice sounded tight. “I figured you would.”
The man picked up a corded phone inside a port-a-potty that had been unusually converted into a guard station. He didn’t dial any number; it seemed to be a direct connection. I held my breath as I watched my dad and the other guard have a staring contest.
“Hey, Paul? It's Mike B,” the first guard said into the receiver. “Yeah, I’m up top on duty. There’s a guy here who said he talked to the Mayor about leaving.” He held his hand over the mouthpiece. “What’s your name again?” he asked my dad.
Before my father could answer him, a loud crack pierced the thin winter air. It was so loud and so nearby, I nearly fell over. The man who’d been on the phone clutched at his stomach, groaning. The phone fell from his hand to hang limply near his side. He fell first to his knees and then sideways in the snow.
At first, I didn’t realize what that sound had been and why the guardsman was doubled over until the second guard brought up his assault rifle and aimed it in the direction from where the noise had come. Another gunshot rang out, hollow and chilling. It had missed the second gunman, and he started to shoot indiscriminately.
I closed my eyes and huddled in my hiding spot. In the chaos, our group had split up. I didn’t know where my dad had gone and I didn’t know where Mr. West and Nora were hiding either. The shooting continued, single gun shots from wherever Mr. West was, followed by the rapid multiple shots from the second guardsman and his more lethal weapon. I heard a woman shriek over the gunfire and my body went rigid when I recognized it as belonging to Nora.
Ryan had been able to recover Mr. West’s handgun along with my hunting knife. Even when my dad had returned the gun to its owner when we’d divided up our supplies before going above ground, I had thought it was a bad idea. Now, crouched in the snow, I hated that I’d been right.
The gunfire paused momentarily on both sides, maybe to reload or maybe people were out of bullets. Either way, I leapt from my hiding spot and rushed toward the continued cries coming from behind a wooden shed.
Mr. West was on the ground. His eyes were open, vacant, and lifelessly staring up at the sky.
My dad appeared at my elbow. He glanced down at Mr. West’s body, but made no comment. “We need to move,” he said gruffly. “More people will be coming. There’s no way Paul didn’t hear all of that on the phone.”
As if his words had caused their appearance, five or six dark figures bounded out of the main entrance, all holding menacing-looking guns that seemed out of place in a wintery landscape and more appropriate to some sandy desert in the Middle East. However, as I thought about it, those sand dunes were probably snow drifts now.
“Go!” my dad barked, rattling me from my train of thought.
Both Nora and I sprang to our feet and took off running. I heard shouting behind me, distant voices that I didn't want to get any closer. I didn't know where I was running to; all I could think about was getting away without my ankle giving out.
We hid behind one of those giant sleds that football players shove across the field during practice. I clamped my hand over Nora’s mouth when two men dressed all in black ran past our hiding spot. It was too dark. They wouldn’t be able to follow our footprints with any speed. Only when they were out of sight did I remove my hand.
“We have to go back.” Even with only moonlight as our guide, I could see the wet tears streaming down her face.
“No. We have to keep going,” I insisted. “We have to put as much distance as we can between us and this place.”
“But my dad,” she choked out.
“He’s dead,” I hissed. “And if you go back, you’ll be dead, too.”
“What about your dad?” she countered. “You’re just going to leave him behind?”
My throat constricted. “If he got away, he’ll make it to Eden – as long as your dad didn’t lie and there’s actually such a place.”
Her chin elevated and stuck out. “My dad wouldn’t lie. Eden exists.”
“Can you get us there?” I asked.
“I-I think so.” Her voice was shaky and unsure, and it did nothing for my confidence. “If I can get my hands on a road map, I think I can find it. I’m not that familiar with this part of the country, but he showed me a few times in case we ever got separated.”
It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. “We have to get moving,” I said, pulling on a brave façade. One of us had to be strong, and it was clear that at least for the moment, it wasn’t going to be
her. “Let’s go.” I shouldered my pack. “We need to put some distance between us and Hot Springs. We’ll look for a gas station to find a road map later.”
I could tell her instinct was to defy my orders. Her right cheek concaved as if she had to bite on her inner cheek to refrain from disagreeing. I was glad her common sense kicked in and she complied; I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her anymore.
We walked single-file in silence. I didn’t know our destination and that made me uneasy. But I steered us west and kept moving, ever mindful that Hot Spring’s hostile residents could be tracking our steps at that very moment. There was no hiding our steps in the crunchy, stale snow, however. The best we could do was use each other’s foot impressions to lessen evidence of our existence and not make too much noise tromping through the woods. The longer we could walk hidden by trees, the better. They’d offer us cover from any bandits roaming the streets and we’d have better luck finding shelter for the night than in the long stretches of flat prairie. I bent my head and hastened my step, eager to leave Hot Springs and its residents behind.
“Sam, I’ve gotta stop,” Nora’s thin voice sounded behind me. “I can’t keep going.”
I stopped and hooked my thumbs beneath the straps of my backpack. I took stock of our surroundings. The woods were fairly dense; it seemed as good of a spot to stop for the night as any. Plus, I was getting tired, too – not that I’d ever admit that to Nora.
I shrugged out of my pack and let it drop to the powdered snow. As soon as the ground covering fluffed up around my discarded bag, I realized we were in trouble.
“Shit.”
“What’s wrong now?” Nora snapped. I could tell she was ready to crumble. This little bit of bad news might push her over the edge, but she was going to find out sooner or later.
“My dad’s backpack had our tent in it. I don’t suppose…” I trailed off because I honestly expected the worst at this point.
Her eyes were as large as plates – big moon eyes like a cartoon character. “My dad had my tent, too. He wanted to lighten my load.”
“Mother fucker,” I cursed again.
“Sam.” Nora’s voice wavered on my name. “What are we going to do? It’s getting colder – there’s no way we’ll make it to Idaho sleeping in just our sleeping bags.”
I nodded. She wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know. We could try to tough it out in the open, just bundled up in our sleeping bags. It would really be a test to see how true those sub-freezing thresholds were. But trying to weather a snowstorm or a particularly vicious windstorm in nothing but a sleeping bag would be foolhardy and suicide. We needed something more permanent. I could always build a shelter out of fallen logs like a rough log cabin. It would provide just enough of a wind break to keep us warm enough for survival, but constructing such a structure every night would take too much time and drain my energy, and I doubted I’d be able to find enough wood in the vicinity appropriate for such a task.
My thoughts went back to a cave I’d spotted just a few moments prior to Nora’s plea to stop for the night. If it was deep enough and empty, it would do the job for tonight.
“Come on,” I said, sliding into my pack again. The brief relief from the bag’s added weight had been nice. My lower back was starting to ache as I began retracing our previous steps.
“Wait. Where are you going?” Nora demanded. “I’m not going back to Hot Springs. I’d rather freeze to death than make peace with those animals.”
“We’re not going back,” I promised her. “I thought I saw a cave about a hundred yards back. We might be able to sleep there tonight.”
Her boots started to crunch in the snow indicating she had resumed following me. I kept to the single-file trail we’d left behind so as not to draw more attention to our trek by making it wider. I also kept my eyes peeled for any indentations in the surrounding snow that might indicate a large animal lived and hunted in the vicinity. Actually, I almost hoped there would be some wild animal living inside. I didn’t know if my hunting knife alone would be up to the task, but we could have a really nice meal. I tried to not get my hopes up.
I re-spotted the rock formation I’d seen before. I mentally crossed my fingers that the moonlight hadn’t been playing tricks on me and there actually was a cave. I stopped just in front of the mouth of the cave and crouched down. The opening was large enough for us to easily pass through, but it was large enough for predatory animals or other humans, too. I couldn’t make out any discernible tracks in front of the cave, but if a strong wind had recently been through the area, it very well could have wiped the ground clean, erasing all signs of life. I wished I had a lighter or a flashlight so I could peer inside.
Nora remained silent by my side. When I began to move forward, she stopped me, snagging me by the elbow. “Are you sure it’s safe?” she whispered.
“No. That’s why I have to go in.”
“There’s not another way to check?”
“Not unless you want to stand out here until morning. And even then, depending on how deep this cave goes,” I noted, “the sunlight might not be enough to illuminate the entire thing anyway.”
She dropped my elbow and nodded solemnly. “Then we go in together.”
“That’s not necessary,” I protested. “I’ll be fine.”
“I just lost my dad, Sam.” Her voice wavered on the words unsteadily. “I’m not going to risk losing you, too.”
I sighed. I knew she was too stubborn and had too much of an independent streak to let me win this argument. She grabbed my hand with her similarly gloved hand and tugged me forward.
I felt around blindly with my free hand. Eventually I had to let go of her hand so I could move more efficiently once inside the cave. The ceiling was about four feet high – an awkward height at which I felt foolish crawling on my hands and knees, but too short to walk upright without some serious stooping. The toe of my boot caught on something and I fell forward. My arms flailed, trying to find something to break my fall. When my hands grabbed something soft and plush and I heard the startled noise Nora made, I realized my mistake.
“Not the cave,” she mumbled.
“Sorry.” I felt heat inflame my cheeks.
I took off my gloves so I could feel around the outer edges of the shallow cave. I willed my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I didn’t want to waste any resources trying to illuminate the place.
“Do you have something to start a fire with?” Nora asked. “Should I go look for some wood to burn?”
“A fire’s just going to make things worse. Best case scenario, we get choked out by smoke. Worse case, the fire acts like a beacon and the people from Hot Springs find us and kill us.”
“Do you really think they’d do that?” Her voice trembled from fear or from the cold, I couldn’t tell which.
I didn’t think now was the time to remind her that they’d gunned down her father. Mr. West had drawn his weapon first, but that didn’t excuse his death.
“Let’s not chance it,” I said simply. I hoped it would be enough. “I’m gonna go sweep away our footprints and set up an animal trap. Maybe it’ll catch us breakfast.”
Nora didn’t really look like she’d heard me. “Don't go far.” She looked up at me, eyes red around the edges. “I've lost too much already tonight.”
+++++
When I came back inside the cave, Nora had unrolled both of our sleeping bags. She snapped to attention at the sound of my footsteps. “I don't think I’m going to make it through the night, Sam.”
“You’ll be fine,” I told her as I sat down beside her. “The cave blocks out most of the wind and we still have our sleeping bags.”
“I don’t mean the cold. I mean because of what happened to my dad.” She buried her face in her gloved hands and I heard the unmistakable sound of her grief.
Her vulnerability in front of me, how she was allowing herself to fall apart, was one of the bravest things I’d ever witnessed. I stroked her back through h
er thick jacket. My touch was tentative and I wondered if she could even feel it. “I’m sorry everything has gone to shit.”
“If I hadn’t been so insistent that we leave for Eden, he’d still be alive. If I had done a lot of things differently...” she mumbled off. She stared straight ahead.
“If he hadn’t pulled out that god damn gun, he’d still be alive.”
She looked sharply at me and I held up my hands, surrendering. “He was protecting me.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I uselessly apologized again. “I just don't want you blaming yourself over this.”
The hard look on her face softened at its edges. “Thank you, Sam. But I don’t deserve your kindness. I’ve done nothing but be an annoying thorn in your side since we met.”
“You helped me when I twisted my ankle,” I reminded her. “At the springs when we were being chased. And after.” I felt the blood rush to my face, remembering how uncomfortable I’d been when I’d slipped in the shower. But she’d surprised me by letting her concern for me trump the obvious teasing that should have come from that incident.
“Well, I couldn’t just let you flop around on the bathroom floor forever like a fish out of water.”
When I braved a glance back up to her face, I saw a small, fleeting smile play across her lips.
“Here.” I pulled out the bottle of moonshine Ryan had given me. Unlike any other beverage, this wouldn’t freeze no matter how cold it got. “Drink this.”
She didn’t ask me what it was. She lifted the bottle to her lips and drank. The moment the alcohol hit her tongue she began sputtering and coughing. “What the hell?” she angrily choked. “You could have warned me.”
I took the bottle back and drank deeply. The fiery liquid burned down my throat, but I’d been expecting the heat and didn’t choke on it like she had. “It’ll warm you up,” I said simply.
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