by Carter Ashby
Jayce turned while Maya put on her clothes and gathered her purse. The manager came in with a bouncer at his side. “What’s going on, Maya?”
Jayce stood in front of her. “She’s quitting.” He locked eyes with the bouncer since that was where the physical threat would come from. The manager looked Jayce up and down, while Jayce and the bouncer remained zeroed in on each other.
“Fine,” the manager said at last. The bouncer stepped back and eased his stance. “Go. But don’t come crawling back, you hear?”
“She hears,” Jayce said. He put his arm around her and led her past them, through the club, and out the front door.
Zoey hopped out of the truck and helped Maya into the middle. Maya cried hard in Zoey’s arms. Jayce wanted to take them home, to make sure that Maya got some place she felt safe. But Zoey’s car was at his bar, so that’s where he drove, seething the whole time. Mad at himself. Mad at Maya for not standing up for herself better.
He parked behind his bar and hopped out of the truck. By the time he made it around, Zoey was helping Maya down. Zoey stepped away from Maya when Jayce approached. He didn’t have a chance to think about and appreciate the gesture, but he gave her a quick nod of approval. She nodded back. He took Maya by the shoulders. “Up here, honey,” he said, directing her to meet his gaze.
She lifted her eyes, surrounded by running mascara and eye liner. “You start tomorrow,” he said. “I need you here at five. We close at one-thirty. Wear whatever you want, but make sure you wear good shoes, okay?”
She nodded. “Jayce, I—”
“Tomorrow at five.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
He backed away and looked at Zoey who then took Maya’s arm and led her to her car. After they drove away, he went back into the bar to drown his feelings in work.
#
Since the kids were spending the weekend with their grandparents and Kellen was out of town, Maya climbed into bed with Zoey. She snuggled up next to her, just grateful to have a warm friend to hold her.
“Shh, everything’s okay now,” Zoey said.
“You’re going to be a great mother some day,” Maya whispered as Zoey gently stroked her hair.
“Yeah, right.”
Maya sighed. She’d run out of tears an hour ago. “I’m too humiliated to be humiliated,” she said softly. “I thought after living with Damon, nothing could make me feel ashamed again. But tonight, I felt such shame, such self-hate. Thank you for coming to get me.”
“I didn’t. I went to yell at Jayce. He’s the one who got up and went after you. I just followed along.”
“You didn’t tell him to come get me?”
“Jayce cares about you, Maya. He’s a better friend than you think.”
Maya shook her head. She barely knew the guy. Sure, they’d grown up together for the most part. But Jayce had been so sexy and intimidating, he’d always just had this untouchable quality about him. Except for their one, disastrous date, she’d barely even spoken to him in the ensuing years. Though with his best friend dating her best friend, they were seeing a bit more of each other than usual.
“I think he despises me,” she said, though it occurred to her that he’d rescued her, tonight. Perhaps he felt sorry for her. Poor pathetic Maya who couldn’t stand on her own two feet.
“Why would he despise you?” Zoey asked in the voice of a mother asking her child why the other kids at school wouldn’t love her little darling.
Maya couldn’t answer the question. She knew the answer, she just couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say, ‘Because I’m weak. Helpless. Pathetic.’ She couldn’t say, ‘Because I’m not a real woman. Because I’m too skinny, too stupid, too boring.’ But she could think those things. Even believe them, most of the time. If it weren’t for Zoey and Addy, she’d believe them all of the time. But her two best friends had shown her that she wasn’t always pathetic or dumb. She had moments that were good. Moments when she was proud of herself.
“I hope I can do a good job for Jayce,” Maya said.
“You’re going to do great.”
“I just don’t want to burden him. He’s doing me this huge favor—”
“What favor? He needed another server and you applied for the position. It’s not charity, Maya.”
It felt like charity. “I guess,” she said.
As Zoey stroked her hair, Maya drifted into a restless sleep.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Take it easy!” Janice shouted.
It was twenty minutes until time to open for the night, and Jayce had talked Janice into coming to his bed in his small apartment above the bar. He barely heard her. “Thought you liked it rough, Jan,” he panted, pounding into her, mindlessly, desperate to feel this, to find release and forget for a moment.
She pushed him hard enough that he finally noticed. He looked down at her. “I like it rough, sometimes,” she said. “But not like this.”
“Fuck. Like what, Janice?” He didn’t care. He buried his face in her neck and started thrusting slowly, grinding against her.
“Like you’re not here with me. Like you’re somewhere else.”
“How’s this?” he asked, moving against her, hitting her sweet spot and feeling her writhe in pleasure.
“Yeah,” she squeaked. “That’s good.”
He brought her to orgasm and then lost himself again. But the position had lost its appeal. He backed out, flipped her, and came into her from behind. Better. He closed his eyes, gripped her hips, and went at it.
At last he came, emptying inside of her. He fell to his side and basked in the momentary, floating feeling of carelessness. For a moment, nothing in the world mattered.
Until she spoke. “What’s with you?”
He sighed. “Nothing. Got a lot on my mind, lately.”
“Do me a favor, Jayce, and don’t use me as your stress relief.” She was out of bed, dressing.
This was weird because Janice was the most laid back woman he’d ever met. She slept with other guys besides him. Sex was always casual with her. He swung his legs out of bed, disposed of the condom, and pulled on his boxers. “I don’t know what I did to piss you off—”
“You’re in love with that girl—Maya—aren’t you?”
He froze.
She closed her eyes and took a breath. Then she went back to dressing. She put her straight, blonde hair up in a ponytail. “Listen, Jayce, you know I’ve got no problem with you being with other women. I don’t care. We’re friends with benefits, and it’s always worked out real nice for us. But the way it works is we’re honest with each other. And I don’t like feeling like I’m being used. Like you’re thinking of her when you’re fucking me.”
“I wasn’t thinking of her.” He wasn’t not thinking of her either.
“But you’re substituting me for her. Is that what I’ve been all along? A stand-in for Maya?”
He shook his head and looked away. “Stand-in suggests I once had her and will have her again. She’s not mine. Never will be. I’m just trying to keep my head above water, Janice.”
“So what’s changed? I’ve never noticed this before.”
He shrugged and sat on the edge of his bed.
“Is it ‘cause she’s getting divorced now? And you gotta hire her because you feel bad for her?”
“I gotta hire her because I need another waitress and she’s just as good as anybody. Look, if you don’t wanna be with me over this, then just say so.”
Janice twisted her lips in thought. “Probably be best to take a break.”
“Great,” he groaned. Back to picking up strangers. For two years, now, Janice had been his go-to girl.
She kissed him on the cheek and left without a backward glance.
“Great,” he said again, shaking his head. He headed for the shower.
Being Saturday, by five, the bar was already filling up. Jayce hadn’t even noticed Maya coming in. She’d have had to walk past the bar to the hallway to his right that led to his office
and a small locker room for the girls. At five-fifteen, he realized he hadn’t seen her and began to look around. She was with Janice at a table, taking orders.
Her long legs were completely on display in the denim cutoffs she was wearing. Her tank top left a strip of flesh bare at her midriff and didn’t leave much to the imagination up top, either. He’d tried to get the girls to dress warmer in the winter, but the one time they tried, they claimed they made less in tips. He wasn’t sure. But at least it was warm in the bar.
Janice hooked her arm through Maya’s and led her toward the bar. Toward him. He averted his eyes and pulled another beer for a guy at the end of the bar.
“Two Cosmos,” Janice called. He immediately grabbed a couple of glasses and got to work on the drinks. “Come on, Maya,” she said. “While he’s making those, we’ll get the beers. Like this.”
Jayce had his back to them, but he caught their reflections in the mirror behind the liquor bottles. Janice’s hand was low on Maya’s back as she showed her what to do. They smiled at each other. It might’ve been hot, but Jayce was struggling with deeper feelings.
He turned and set the Cosmos on Maya’s drink tray. She glanced at him, flashing him a shy smile, and then went back to work. As she walked away, he exhaled and realized he’d been holding his breath near her.
This was going to have to stop. He couldn’t be going tense and fluttery every time she walked by. He’d end up breaking something or hurting himself.
Throughout the evening, he couldn’t help watching her. More times than he could count, customers had to shout his name twice to get his attention. But, he was worried. After an hour, Janice had turned Maya loose, and every time she approached a customer she lowered her eyes, went all bashful, and wound up getting her ass grabbed.
In fact, she got groped more times than Janice, and that was with Janice inviting the action. Jayce would have hated anyone touching Maya, but he hated it even more with her flinching and looking ashamed every time it happened.
Around nine o’clock, he turned from the taps to mix a drink and about ran over her. She was hovering there, fidgeting with her hands, staring up at him with those wide, fearful eyes.
He frowned.
“I was wondering,” she said; her voice loud to counter the music from the jukebox and the noise from the crowd. “Would it be okay if I gave my kids a call to tell them goodnight? I swear I’ll make it quick. I shouldn’t have promised them, but…” She trailed off.
Jayce just stared at her, angry, disgusted, and aching for her. “No,” he said sarcastically. “You can’t call your kids.” He rolled his eyes and turned back to work, assuming she’d just go on and call them. It seemed so stupid for her to grovel to him just to ask for a perfectly reasonable break. He shook his head in frustration as he finished the drinks and, when he turned back to the counter to serve them, she was still standing there. Her hands twisted together at her waist and her eyes welled with tears.
He slid the drinks to the customers and then turned to face her. “What? What, Maya?”
She flinched and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know, but I already promised them. It won’t happen again.”
This was what she thought of him. This was how she saw him. He shook his head, sickened. “Call your damn kids, Maya.”
She nodded and then hurried back to the office. Scurried was more like. A frightened little mouse that he’d scared off once again. God, but she made him so frustrated. He realized that he was allowing his frustration to turn him into the bad guy she seemed to believe he was. He took a breath before turning back to the customers.
“Kind of a jerk to her, weren’t you?” some guy at the bar asked, sliding his empty beer mug across the counter toward Jayce.
Jayce poured him another beer. “Yep.”
“You gonna apologize?”
Jayce cocked his head. “You gonna make something of it?”
The guy shrank back. “No, dude. I just hate to see a chick like that being afraid of her boss.”
Jayce wiped down a small spill on the counter. “I’ll make it up to her,” he conceded, though he had no idea how.
Thankfully, the guy shut up about it. Maya was back out and serving drinks in five minutes flat.
After the last of the customers left, around one-forty-five in the morning, Jayce watched with amusement as Maya collapsed into a chair. “Oh my God,” she groaned, dropping her head back, exposing her elegant neck.
Jayce took a moment to appreciate the view. He propped his chin on his fist at the bar and watched. Janice sat across from Maya. “Count your tips, lady,” she instructed.
Maya reluctantly sat up, untied her apron, and dumped the contents onto the table. Janice and Maya were the only two left. The other girls had left the bar at midnight. Jayce went round the bar and sat at the table with them while they counted. Maya’s curls stuck to her sweat-damp cheeks and neck. She stacked her bills and coins as she counted.
When she finished, she looked up at Jayce, her eyes wide. And then a smile.
Jayce felt his own lips quirk up. “Good night?”
Maya shrugged, still clearly stunned.
“Pretty good,” Janice said. “You’ll have better, Maya. What say you and I flirt with each other next weekend and see if that gets us more tips?”
Maya blushed. “I could try. I’m not very good at flirting.”
“Oh, we’ll practice. Jayce can help. He’s a fantastic flirt.”
“Really?” Maya asked, crinkling her nose in disbelief.
Jayce actually laughed. “I don’t think she believes you, Jan.”
“Well, then, flirt with her.”
Jayce never removed his eyes from Maya. Her cheeks gradually darkened. “Maybe after work hours.”
Janice snorted. “You do worse than flirt with me whether its work hours or not.” She stood and tousled his hair as she walked by him and headed for the back.
Maya suddenly looked panicked. “Oh, I should get home.” She stood.
He stood. “Come on back to the office for a sec.” He didn’t wait for her. He went to his office, to his desk, and started pulling out paperwork that he needed her to do. She’d survived the night, which he assumed meant she was going to keep working there.
He frowned when he turned and saw that the chair in front of his desk was still empty. He looked up to see her standing in the doorway, chewing on that lip and hugging her waist. “Have a seat,” he said.
“I don’t feel comfortable…” she started to say, then clamped her mouth shut.
“You don’t want to work here?” Thank God. Please let that be it.
She gasped. “Oh, no. Please give me another chance. I need this job. I’ll do anything.”
He stood to his full height. “You’ll do anything,” he repeated.
She nodded frantically. “Anything. Except…” she trailed off again.
He felt sick. Again. “Maya, I don’t know how to do this with you. You come to me, quaking in your absolutely unacceptable canvas shoes—you are going to be in so much pain tomorrow by the way—and you look at me like I’m a monster. Stop and ask yourself some things, okay? Ask yourself if Kellen, whom you respect, would be my friend if I was this brute that you think I am. Would Zoey be my friend? Addy? Do you think the girls who worked here tonight wouldn’t have sued my ass years ago if I was the kind of man to exploit my employees?”
She shook her head.
“Then what? What is this?”
She gulped in a shaking breath. “I just can tell you don’t like me very much,” she said, her voice weak and high-pitched. “And I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.”
He had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. “You think I don’t like you?”
“It’s—it’s pretty obvious.”
He just stared at her. He had no idea what to say to that. He blinked. Shook his head. “Listen, I’m sorry for snapping at you about the kids.”
“It won’t
happen again,” she said. “It’s just that I’d already promised them. I won’t call them any—”
“Call them, Maya. Call your kids. Call your friends. Call whoever the fuck you want, just don’t come to me and ask me and then look at me like I’m going to hurt you or something.”
She hugged her waist tighter. Her bottom lip trembled.
Jayce sighed and shook his head, giving up. “Would you please sit down? If you want this job, there’s paperwork.”
She suddenly relaxed. “Oh. Paperwork. Of course.”
Had she thought he’d invited her back to yell at her? Fire her? Rape her? Christ, it was all so frustrating. At last she sat in the chair, her hands folded tightly in her lap. He finished gathering the paperwork. “Here’s the federal stuff,” he said, sliding the papers across the desk. “I-9 just verifies your identity and all that. And the W-4 for tax withholding. If you have any questions, Zoey can help you out. She’s all tax-savvy and shit.”
Maya actually, almost smiled at this, as she stared in bemusement at the forms.
“And this is for me,” he said. “Emergency contact shit. Stuff about sexual harassment and unemployment. And rules about breaks.”
She reddened a little.
“Now listen, I don’t make waves about breaks, Maya, because as long as you’re doing your job, I don’t really care. A couple of the girls smoke and they take a break once an hour. You wanna call your kids, just call your kids.”
She nodded, gathering the forms in her lap and not looking at him.
“You got any questions?”
She shook her head.
“Can you get these to me when you come in on Monday afternoon?”
Nods.
“Any chance in hell you’ll be making eye contact with me soon?”
She grinned and let out a little laugh. Then she drew her shoulders back and lifted her big green gaze to his.
God, she was beautiful. The breath left his lungs and his palms itched with the desire to touch her. “Not so bad, is it?” he asked, his voice still strong, though his insides were quivering.
“You’re very—intimidating.”
