by Carter Ashby
Maya turned and ran up the stairs. Her heart raced as she felt the excitement of youth and romance—two things she’d never been able to enjoy before, except for a brief moment, long ago, in the back of a car.
#
Jayce hurried upstairs all the while praying Maya hadn’t changed her mind.
The apartment door was open. He went in and nearly ran into her back. Maya hadn’t made it very far, but at least she was there. Jayce took the keys she’d been fidgeting with and tossed them on his coffee table, then he turned her in his arms and kissed her again. He needed to get her back into the right state of mind. Into that place where she wasn’t afraid of him.
She melted right into him, as if her body was made for him. He lifted her and carried her to his bed. Sweet Maya, with her sweet hands clinging to him. He lay down on top of her, still kissing her. He’d be gentle with her, no matter how hard he wanted her, no matter how much he wished he could rip her clothes off and take her hot and frenzied. Maya was fragile. Maya needed gentleness.
Moving his hand beneath her shirt, Jayce cupped her lace-clad breast, barely able to believe his hands were on the woman of his dreams. She writhed beneath him, as he teased her nipple with his thumb, thrilling at her response. Sliding his hand beneath her, Jayce unclasped her bra. He pushed it and her shirt up and then dipped his head down to tease her breasts with his tongue. Oh, God.
She gasped. Jayce got painfully hard at the sound. Her hands were in his hair. His were on her ass. It became apparent to him that he wasn’t meant for this slow and gentle mode of lovemaking. He needed to taste her. Fuck her. Take her and give her everything he had.
Rising up on his knees between her legs, Jayce took Maya’s hands, pulled her to a sitting position, and reached for her shirt. She pressed her hands against it, preventing his pulling it off.
Jayce studied her and waited. At last she smiled and removed her hands, and he grinned as he pulled her shirt and bra off. “Lie down, Maya,” Jayce instructed, then drank in the sight of her while he pulled off his own shirt. Lying atop her again, he groaned in pleasure at the feel of her naked chest pressed to his, her arms and legs around him. He ran his hands over every inch of bare skin.
Maya kissed him, nipped at his ear, until at last she arched and ground herself against his erection. Jayce lost it, then, taking her mouth with his, hard and rough, and thrusting against her through the denim separating them.
She cried out, causing Jayce to move harder. Lifting and dipping his hand into her shorts, Jayce massaged her. Her body trembled violently, and she cried out again. This time there was something wrong about the sound.
And then she was sobbing and begging him to stop. He immediately pushed off of her, and she rolled to her side, curled up, and cried. When the realization dawned on him that he wouldn’t be making it with Maya tonight, Jayce sort of wanted to cry himself. “I’m sorry,” he said, because it seemed the thing to say.
A few minutes later they were sitting on the foot of the bed, staring at the space in front of them. The silence in the room was oppressive. He hadn’t bothered to put his shirt back on, but she had hers. She held her bra in her hands, twisting it around.
“I’m—”
“Don’t,” he said. “Don’t apologize to me. You don’t owe me that.”
“You must think I’m the worst kind of tease.”
“No.”
“I just thought I was ready.”
Jayce had thought so, too. She’d felt ready. He’d cupped her in his hand and she’d felt ready. “Are you okay?” he asked, because he needed to know.
“Yes. I’m okay. Humiliated, again, but okay.”
“Again,” he repeated the word, not sure what she was referring to.
“Didn’t I do this to you in high school?”
He grunted. “Thought you didn’t remember that.”
“I didn’t, until you mentioned it at Zoey’s Christmas.”
He blew out a breath. Now was not the time to be dwelling on that particular memory.
“You must hate me,” she whispered.
He stood, abruptly, and located his t-shirt. He shoved it on and then grabbed her jacket and held it out to her. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.”
He tried to look at her, but when he saw the tears welling in her eyes, he couldn’t do it. With their jackets on, he walked her to the edge of the parking lot and watched her get in her car and drive away.
He went back inside, crawled into bed, and tried not to dwell on his own misery. Turned out to be a non-issue as he found himself dwelling on the feel of Maya’s firm nipples on his tongue.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Kellen held the punching bag for Jayce again the next morning. There were a few guys lifting weights on the other side of the gym and a couple guys in the boxing ring.
“She cried all night, man,” Kellen said.
Jayce slammed his fist into the bag.
“When I told you she needed sex, I didn’t mean for you drag her back to your cave.”
Jab. Jab. Hook.
“I meant you should flirt with her. Make yourself available.”
Hook. Upper cut. Upper cut.
Suddenly the bag went swinging. Kellen had stepped away. Jayce caught the bag and stabilized it. “The fuck?” Jayce asked, panting.
“You’re gonna make yourself sick.”
“Thanks, Mom. Hold the fucking bag.”
Kellen shook his head. “You’re punishing yourself unnecessarily. She doesn’t blame you at all. She’s just trying to sort through her feelings. Plus she’s worried that you hate her.”
“I don’t think I want any more information from you. I couldn’t stop thinking…no, hoping…after we talked Sunday. And now I can’t stop hoping after last night, that even though she rejected me, she might come back and try again. Hope sucks, my friend. It’s a goddamn liar.” He punctuated the last syllables with some punches to the bag.
Kellen chuckled. “How far did you get?”
Jayce glared at him in disgust. “We were rounding third.”
“Ooohhh,” he groaned. “Bummer.”
Jayce lifted his middle finger.
“Don’t give up,” Kellen said. “She likes you.”
Jayce wanted to spit in his friend’s face. “Know what I’m gonna do?” He turned and slammed his fist into the bag. “I’m gonna go to St. Louis…” Jab. Jab. “To one of those college bars, and find me a nice, young body.” Hook. Jab. “And have mindless sex with no guilt.” Upper cut. Upper cut. Jayce caught the bag and steadied it. “That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna live like the young, single guy I am and quit pining over a childhood crush. That’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Really?”
“Yup. I’m wasting myself on her. She never felt anything for me. And now she’s interested in sex, yeah? Well sex with whom? With anybody. I’m nobody to her. I’m anybody. And I don’t want that. I want to be everything to her. I want to be the only one and she…she’s never gonna see that.”
Kellen glanced past him and smiled, but Jayce ignored the look, turned to the bag, and hit it again. “I. Fucking. Hate. Love.” He punctuated each word with a punch.
“Hey, Sis,” Kellen said.
Jayce almost laughed. But then he heard Maya’s tentative, “Hey,” in response before the sound could escape his lips.
Jayce spun around and discovered Maya nervously standing there in jeans and a sweater, looking all the more breakable in a building full of big equipment and big men. She glanced continually around her, hugging her purse to her stomach. “This is how come you’re so calm all the time,” she observed, still not looking at him. “You come here and beat the shit out of stuff.”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“I just cry, when I’m stressed. This looks like more fun.”
He glanced past her and saw Norris zero-in on them. Shit. “Hey,” he said to Maya, “If you wanna talk, we could meet at Belle’s. We could get breakfast or something. I need about
ten minutes to shower.”
“Okay,” she said. “Or I can wait—hang out with Kellen.”
Norris was heading their way. Jayce’s parentage was no secret around town, he just preferred not to draw attention to his relationship with Norris whenever possible; and he sure as hell didn’t want the dirty old man talking to poor Maya. She’d had enough contact with thugs in her life. “Hang out with Kellen at Belle’s,” Jayce said to her. “This place smells like…a gym.”
She giggled, a sound he would have savored if he weren’t so desperately trying to make her go away. Kellen finally caught on, but it was too late.
“This your new girl, Kellen?” Norris asked. Too loudly. Too abrasively.
“My sister-in-law,” Kellen explained, putting his arm around Maya’s shoulders, drawing her close to his body in a protective gesture. Jayce was more appreciative than jealous.
“That’s right,” Norris said. “You’re dating that hellion—the Odell girl. You know, there was a time I had the hots for her momma.”
“That’s fine, Norris. Come on, Maya.”
“Maya,” Norris said, as though he finally recognized who she was. “You’re the one’s got my boy all tied up in knots.”
Jayce gave up. “Maya, this is Norris. He manages the gym.”
“And I’m his old man. He forgets to mention that part.”
Norris reached out, and Maya actually shook his hand. Kellen had a death grip on her, though, and he pulled her bodily away from Norris before the handshake even got started. “You knew my daddy,” Maya said, surprising Jayce. “Henry Lansing. You drank with him. Remember?”
Norris grinned, as always, more of a sneer. “Yeah, I do remember ol’ Henry. Believe I broke two of his ribs, once.”
“Yes, sir, you did. He got laid off from work because of it. I was fourteen, had to lie about my age to get a job so we could eat.”
Norris just laughed bitterly. “Yeah, well, we were young and stupid.”
“I don’t think stupid has that much to do with age, sir.”
Jayce and Kellen looked at each other, their eyebrows up in approval of the jab.
“You got a mouth on you, little girl,” Norris said with his usual sneer.
“I’m gettin’ there.”
“Easy to be brave with two young bucks protecting you.”
“Back off, Norris,” Jayce said, the threat unspoken.
“I ain’t gonna stand here while some little bitch insults me.” He turned back to Maya. “Your old man had a mouth on him, too, and that’s how come I beat the shit out of him. You best watch yourself.”
Maya shoved Kellen away, stepped toward Norris, and shoved him. He stumbled back a step. She spat at his feet. “I’m done being bullied by old men like you. You lay one goddamn hand on me, or even threaten me again, and I’ll have you thrown in jail. You’re pathetic. You’re nothing.”
She turned and stormed toward the door. “Meet you at Belle’s, Jayce,” she said without turning to look at him.
Jayce grinned at Kellen. “My girl did that,” he said.
Then Jayce’s grin vanished as he turned to Norris. He stepped up to the old man and towered over him, piercing Norris with a cold stare.
“Yeah,” Norris said, in answer to Jayce’s unspoken threat.
Jayce continued staring into his eyes.
“Yeah, I know,” Norris said. “It won’t ever happen again.”
Jayce’s eyes narrowed.
“I’ll apologize,” Norris offered. “If you bring her back, I’ll say sorry.”
Jayce hesitated a moment. His rage at the old man had long since dwindled to a steady loathing, but after the way Norris had spoken to Maya, Jayce was prepared to crush him. “I own your life, Norris.”
“I know that, Jayce, and I’m right sorry. I let my mouth run away with me. Bring her back. I’ll apologize.”
Jayce knew that it wasn’t penitence, but self-preservation that was causing Norris’s humble words. No one else in town would piss on Norris if he were on fire, but Jayce had given him a home and a job. Jayce was the only thing standing between Norris and homelessness, and Norris knew it.
It was pathetic, really, to see the once big bully of a man groveling and simpering. There was a sadistic part of Jayce that enjoyed the spectacle. But for the most part he was disgusted and faintly sad about it all. “I’ll let her know you’re sorry,” Jayce said.
Norris nodded and backed away. He turned and headed for the hallway where he picked up a bucket of cleaning supplies and disappeared into the locker room.
“I used to be afraid of that,” Jayce murmured, shaking his head.
“You should go meet Maya. And remember, you faced your demons a long time ago. She’s just now fighting hers.”
Jayce nodded. He should have remembered that last night. He hoped he could earn back the little trust she’d begun to give him.
#
Maya was ready for her second cup of coffee, and Jayce hadn’t arrived yet. The waitress passed her, once. The second time, Maya held up her coffee. “Can I get a refill?”
Without looking at her, the bitch held up a finger and passed by. “One sec,” she said as she passed.
Maya slumped back in the booth. Five more minutes passed. Still no coffee. But on the up-side, Jayce came in, freshly showered and in jeans, a Henley, and his leather jacket. When he saw her, he came toward her, sliding into the booth across from her. “Hey,” he said, his expression neutral. “Are you—”
“Hi, welcome to Belle’s, can I get you something to drink?”
Maya looked up at the waitress, who had miraculously appeared and was gazing like a hungry lioness at Jayce. “Yeah,” said Maya, who was finding it easier and easier to reach that pissed off point at which her fear temporarily vanished. “You can bring us some coffee. Please.”
The waitress shot her a look before plastering on the smile. “Of course. Sorry for the wait.”
“I understand. Next time I’ll be sure you know I’ve got a sexy guy meeting me so you can bump me to the top of your list.”
The waitress stormed off.
Jayce was staring at her, big question marks in his eyes. Maya shrugged. She didn’t feel like talking about it. A different, and more competent, waitress arrived with their coffee. Jayce ordered food. Lots of food. An omelet, biscuits and gravy, hash browns, extra bacon. Maya requested a simple blueberry muffin.
After the waitress left, Jayce finished the question he’d started. “Are you okay?”
Maya nodded. “I’m fine. Annoyed, but fine.”
“You know who has the power when you’re annoyed?” he asked.
His question caught her off guard. But then, slowly, she started to smile. “Me.”
His lips quirked up, almost smiling. “Yeah, that’s right. You.”
“I wasn’t annoyed with Norris. I was angry.”
“You told him off, good. You feel better now?”
She turned her thoughts inward and examined her emotions. Then she let her shoulders relax. “Yeah. I do.”
Jayce nodded and leaned back. “Norris is an asshole.”
“Why do you work out there, then?”
“It’s my gym.”
“Yours? Kellen always says, ‘Jayce’s gym,’ but I thought that just meant that you work out there. You own it?”
“Yeah. Well, I co-own it with Ace and Hammer.”
“Hammer?”
He shrugged. “Boxers. I think they gave themselves those nicknames. It would be weird to call them Leroy and—and—actually, I think Ace’s real name might be Ace.” He scratched his chin in thought, then he shrugged it off. “Anyway, I gave Norris the job managing it. There’s a little room in the back he uses as an apartment. Worked out well for him. Not much damage he can do there.”
“You gave your father a job and a home after the way he treated you?”
Jayce shrugged. “You know how it is, Maya. You get stronger than them, they stop being so scary, and suddenly you realize t
hey’re weak and need your help. You’d like to tell them to fuck off, but then you remember they’re the only blood you got. So….” He shrugged again, as though that was that.
“I give my dad money sometimes. Not much. I don’t have much. But he shows up sometimes. He lost all his meanness a long time ago and now he’s just…sad and pathetic. He shakes from needing a drink and not being able to afford it. He’s gonna need taking care of, I’m just not sure I’m gonna be able to do it. It’s just…sad.”
Jayce nodded.
The waitress brought them their food. Maya nibbled her muffin and watched, amused, as Jayce began making his way through the massive amounts of food. “Hungry?”
“Always.”
She smiled. “I can cook, you know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty good. I can make all that stuff you’re eating right now. I know all kinds of country recipes.”
“Are you trying to get a marriage proposal out of me? Because consider it done.” The words were out of keeping with his gruff tone.
Laughing, she shook her head in disbelief. “I would think after last night, you’d pretty much be done with me.”
He swallowed his food and washed it down with coffee, then he sat back and met her eyes. “I’m not upset about last night.”
“You seemed upset. Pounding on that punching bag and talking about sleeping with college girls.”
Jayce’s cheeks reddened a little. “I don’t want college girls.”
“You said things, while you were pounding that bag. You said stuff that makes me think your feelings for me aren’t as shallow as you said.”
“I don’t even remember what I said. But it was just words. Trust me, babe, I’m about as deep as a wading pool.”
“No, you’re not.”
Jayce nodded emphatically. “I am. I’ve got very few feelings. Turned on. Turned off. Happy. Not happy. That’s about it.”
