“No, I want to go.”
He raised a brow in question. “You sure?”
“I just said that I was sure, didn’t I?” she sighed, closing both hands at his waist. “And can we stop doing this?”
“What?”
“Walking on eggshells anytime my past is mentioned. If we’re going to work on our relationship, we have to move away from the anger and the guilt, and that includes both me and you.” She smiled up at him. “We better go before I embarrass myself with my rumbling tummy.”
A half hour later, they were dining in an intimate corner at Talinni’s. When they’d arrived, they’d been treated like royalty by the owners and staff. If any of them had been thrown off by her confusion, they hadn’t shown it, and instead had treated her with the utmost kindness and respect. Of course, having Sebastian there had made things easier, she mulled, staring at the food on the table.
All of the delicacies were supposedly her usual favorites at the fancy Italian dining spot.
A Shirley Temple with an extra shot of grenadine…
Lasagna al Forno, garlic bread, and fruit salad…
She blinked at the tears.
There was familiarity here, and yet there wasn’t.
“You alright?” Sebastian asked, concerned, staring at her across the table. “Talk to me.”
“I’m sorry. I suppose that I’m just a little overwhelmed,” she admitted, trying to smile, but failed. “Everything looks and smells delicious.”
He grabbed her hand from across the table. “Vanessa, you don’t have to pretend with me. I want to know how you feel.”
“I feel like I should remember something---anything. But, everything is a blank slate.”
He hesitated. “I know that you didn’t approve of my offhand manner of consulting with Dr. Roma. But, again, if you’re serious about remembering your past, you should think about talking with a professional.”
“But, if I seek a professional and go through whatever it is you’re supposed to go through to regain your memory, what if I don’t?” she asked, holding a painful breath. “What if I never remember?”
“I know it’s a horrible thought to consider, but what if you don’t? Can you live with that?”
“What about you? Could you live with that?”
“I’d love you no matter what and in every way,” he muttered, laying a hand over hers on the table. “Regardless of the outcome, I will still be standing here.”
She looked at him with unshed tears. “You really mean it?”
“Of course, I mean it,” he said, raising her hand to his lips, and kissed it. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His words were enough to appease her.
“I can’t eat another thing,” she moaned, later, tossing the napkin on the table. “I swear that I’ve just packed on one hundred pounds. Couple that with Rosa’s good cooking and I am officially doomed.”
“No disagreement there. Now,” he said, leaning closer to the table. “What do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?”
Her heart skipped a beat. “You’re not going back in to work?”
“No, I took the rest of the afternoon off. I want to spend a little time with you, and then later Poppet and I have plans. ”
“I’d like to pick up a few things from the studio if you don’t mind,” she said in a rush. “And a movie at the theater would be great.”
“It’s not some mushy romantic comedy, is it?” he teased.
She smiled. “Actually, it is. But, if you’d rather that we didn’t---”
“Now, did I say that I didn’t want to?”
“Well, no,” she stammered. “But, then, you seem like the kind of guy that’d be all into the action movies or suspense thrillers.”
“Those types of movies are more along my forte. How about this? We’ll do a double header. We’ll watch your sappy tale, and then, we’ll take in a testosterone-filled feature.”
“It sounds like a fair trade off to me,” she smiled, and couldn’t tamper her joy while staring at him across the table.
Finally, things were beginning to resemble normal between them again.
After leaving a tip, they went about their way.
But, neither one of them recognized the stranger that trailed them.
Later, that evening, around 7:30 pm, she found herself in the grand mansion alone, especially since Rosa, Sebastian, and Meghan were gone out for the evening. They’d insisted that she tag along, but she’d refused, knowing that they needed and deserved the time alone.
And now, she was alone, she sighed.
Well, except for the guards that were stationed everywhere, she mulled, letting the curtain fall against the dark night before stepping away from the window. While the men were only doing their duties and lent her privacy, she couldn’t shake off the suffocating feeling of being closed in. Of course, that could be blamed on her confinement with Victor’s watchdog for all those weeks. But, that certainly didn’t give her the right to begrudge the men that were protecting her now, she decided.
She padded across the room.
Still, boredom set in.
“Now, what?” she sighed, standing alongside the bed.
After sitting down on the bed, she flipped through the magazine that she’d been reading earlier. But, after scanning through a few pages, she tossed it on the night table.
She fell back against the pillows, and as she stared up at the ceiling, a smile curled her lips.
Today, it had been past perfect, and she’d cherished every moment that they’d spent together. The entire time, all throughout the romantic comedy, she’d found it difficult to concentrate, especially since he’d made silly, funny comments until the credits had rolled. During the action feature, she’d been more active than the characters, she giggled, and had jumped at every thrilling action stunt that they’d done. Naturally, he’d taken humor with that.
Their fun hadn’t ended there.
They’d strolled to an ice cream vendor and feasted on vanilla, butter cream frosty treats. But, they’d ended up wearing most of it, especially since he’d been intent on playing. When they’d returned home, later, Rosa had playfully scolded them both about their soiled clothes, and like small children, they’d raced up the stairs before going to their separate bedrooms.
He’d kept his word, too, she sighed with disappointment.
Like he’d promised, he hadn’t even attempted to venture to her room.
His earlier words played in her head.
When you want to be with me in that way again, I want you to come to me on your own accord with no doubts plaguing your mind.
“I want to be with you in that way again,” she whispered. “And I’m not going to deny us any longer.”
***
Lying in bed, eyes fixated on the nightstand, she watched as the last minute ticked away on the clock.
Finally, it struck midnight.
Shoving the covers off, she dove from the bed, and with bated breath, stood within the darkened shadows of the room and listened as the door knob turned.
The latch made a soft click.
As if in slow motion, the door swung open.
Her heart skipped a beat.
There he was, she mulled desperately, standing in the doorway with his shadow silhouetted against the floor.
Silent…
Watching…
Waiting…
The moonlight splayed across his face, and she caught a quick flash of his struggle against his own inner demons.
Their vulnerable gazes met and then clung.
Yet, they said no words, for none were needed.
They both knew the ramifications of her blatant act.
It was an open invitation to her heart, body, and soul, the gift that she’d selfishly denied him for weeks. But, no longer would they allow themselves to be punished by their sins.
His stare was long and unnerving, for it usurped what little control she held.
Deep down, didn’t
she already know that she was his fallen creature?
With a trembling hand, she grappled the front of the robe nervously and drank in the very sight of him.
His dark hair was mussed and unkempt from restlessness, and his green eyes burned like emerald fire. And the hungered look on his face, she mulled, taking in a breathless gasp, it rivaled her own. His bronzed skin was in stark contrast against the white shirt that hang open, revealing his well built form. The dark trousers fit him well and molded along his hard form so perfectly.
“Tell me to leave,” he rasped hoarsely, fighting to hang onto his control. “If I walk through this door, I will never have the strength to walk away from you.”
Her eyes pooled with tears. “Please, don’t go.”
As he closed the door, his eyes shone with bright tears, and in that moment, she realized their mutual pain. She leaned against the bed’s foot post weakly as he crossed the room, and didn’t breathe again until he stopped before her.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, closing a hand behind her nape, and drew her face close to his. His next words played against her lips. “I don’t want you to have any regrets of what happens this night and hereafter.”
“I don’t want to be without you anymore,” she whispered tearfully, staring up at him, and the moonlight made him seem even more alluring as it slanted across his handsome features. “I need you to touch me, help me rediscover that part of me that’s been lost---the woman that I am only when I’m with you.”
Their lips met on a breathless whisper, clung, and then broke apart.
She fought against her disappointment as he stepped back.
“Sebastian---” she began, reaching out to him.
“Please,” he rasped, dragging in a hard breath. “Can I look at you?”
Mesmerized by the desperate need in his voice, she nodded, too spellbound by her own private obsession. She let out a soft gasp as he stepped forward again, only to loosen the ties of the red silk robe that covered her. With a tantalizing slowness, he undressed her, allowing the delicate piece to pool at her feet, and revealed her naked, trembling form.
“I don’t want you to be afraid,” he rasped again, holding her gaze. “I want you to be sure about this.”
Her words were a low whisper. “The only thing that frightens me is how much I need you.”
“Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that you’re alone in this. Because you’re not,” he murmured, and his eyes caressed her as they slid over her face. “We’re both damned to the same fate of wanting and needing each other beyond reasoning.”
As his words washed over her, the silence took over.
Once again, she was forced to face her heart’s treachery.
For it had surrendered so quickly and eagerly---
The darkness seemed to close in as he made a fateful step, and she mulled in wonder as he knelt down on the floor before her.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” Sebastian muttered, closing both hands around her ankles before sliding them up her calves. “You are my true goddess. Let me worship you---please tell me that I can.”
She stared down at him blindingly. “Please, make love to me.”
And just how had she survived without his love, she gasped, feeling his large hands as they trailed up her aching body. His touch was searing against her heated flesh, and it seemed to brand every inch of her skin as he made way. And dear heavens, his lips followed the path of his deep caresses, leaving a trail of sweet destruction against her skin.
She mewed in satisfaction as he parted her thighs further apart, exposing her wet, naked heat. Her knees buckled beneath her as she weakened in preparation for his pleasurable assault. “Sebastian,” she whispered brokenly, clasping his head, and released a shuddering breath. “Please.”
He muttered unintelligibly.
She couldn’t make out his words.
But, as he breathed her name against her heated flesh, and then parted her inner lips, she understood his unspoken language. Taking his thumb, he massaged along their sides, strengthening the tractions against the thin slit that rested at the center. His fingers retreated, moving upward, seeking the tiny bud that was hidden within. A subtle flick against the highly sensitive nub only signified that he’d discovered the trigger point to destroy her inhibitions.
Drugged, lost, she parted her thighs wider.
An unholy word escaped him as he flicked a finger against the tiny nub. But, his movements went from slow, fast to frantic in a heartbeat. In that intense moment, she was slain. Sobbing his name wildly, she fought for her very sanity.
Her eyes fluttered, then opened again, and her inner madness seized control of her senses. “Please, Sebastian,” she pleaded breathlessly, leaning against the foot post weakly. “Don’t stop….don’t stop.”
He cupped her hips with his hands, kneading them all the while pulling her closer. His hot, ragged breaths seared fire and heat against her mons, teasing the small hairs that dusted it so finely, and he just hovered there whispering nothing but wicked promises of her impending destruction.
The earth-shattering scream was ripped from her lungs as his mouth closed over her, and she was further destroyed as he tongued the thin slit. Gasping wildly, clutching his head tight, she faced both pleasure and delirium at the same time. But, her broken, desperate pleas only increased his fervor and movements.
She cried out again, begging shamelessly for her salvation.
But, would her very salvation elude her, she marveled, dazed, as her eyes fluttered open in the darkness.
His lips…
His tongue…
They were her ultimate destroyers.
“Sebastian,” she sobbed wildly. “Oh, please, please…”
But, there was no such thing as mercy, she realized, drowning further in the pleasurable abyss, for he gave her none.
His hard body trembled, quaked violently against hers. He fought for control of his own dark needs and reined them in.
For this moment, she mulled, crying out his name out again.
It was all about him loving her…
The hot wet sweetness seeped from her insides.
But, he slay her further as he supped the sweet juices into his mouth. Beyond the blinding haze, she sensed her explosive release and it raged like a rising flood, submerging her completely. As the violent spasms racked her body, he clutched her trembling body against him tightly.
She gave another wild scream as she came apart. Sated, weeping, she collapsed on the floor against him.
“Are you ok?” he rasped, holding her trembling body against his.
“Yes,” she whispered, staring into his eyes. “I love the way that you make me feel. Only you can make me feel this way.”
His green eyes glinted in the darkness. “I love you.”
Still slumbered by passion’s assault, she didn’t protest as he lifted her in his arms. As he crossed the room, she twined her arms around him before burying her face against his nape. Then, with a tender gentleness, he lay her down on the bed.
She shivered in response as her back met the satin sheets, and their coolness did little to extinguish the heat from her burning flesh. Instead, they only reinvigorated the fires that she’d thought satiated. Unable to stay herself, she rose on her knees before moving to the side of the bed. Twining her arms around his neck, she pulled his head down and initiated a deep tonguing kiss. His hard body quaked against hers as he crushed her against him, and she sensed that his control was about to snap.
Not breaking from the kiss, she pushed the shirt from his shoulders before planting her swollen, passion-bruised lips against his chest. “I want you,” she whispered breathlessly against his skin, nipping his burning flesh, and then soothed it with a wet kiss. Her own breathing was erratic as her lips made a treacherous journey down his hard body.
When her hot mouth hovered just above his waistband, he threaded his fingers in her hair before hauling her upward. His hot lips stole hers, wringing every b
reath of air from her starved lungs, and their kiss held both longing and desperation. But, still her hands continued to move, finally journeying to the place where her lips had been. The leather belt was the first casualty as she pulled it from his pants, and then dropped it close to the pillows. Then, with little effort, she unsnapped his pants before sliding the zipper down.
“I want you,” she breathed against his lips, and then broke from the kiss. She stared at him with half-closed lids and again sensed his deep needs. “Please, let me show you how much.”
He rasped the desperate words. “Show me.”
Their drugged gazes held as she pushed the pants from his hips and now light gray briefs were the only thing that covered him. Taking hold of his hand, she pulled him forward onto the bed. But, now, it was she who was the aggressor as she pushed him back against the pillows and straddled him.
“I’m going to use your own words against you. Look at what you do to me,” she whispered wantonly, spreading her thighs wider apart, and settled her naked body on his raging erection. The wetness seeped from her thighs onto his briefs, and again, she marveled at her body’s blatant betrayal. “I want to come already.”
“Vanessa---” he rasped unsteadily, reaching for her.
Grabbing his large hands, she stayed them before pinning them above his head. “No,” she whispered, and a womanly sexiness exuded from her, one that she only possessed with him. “Why are you trying to deny me?”
“I’m not,” he breathed, sucking in a ragged breath.
“Then, do what I ask,” she said, laying a single finger against his lips, and felt his hot breath. “Put your hands over your head and leave them there.”
Breathing fast, watching her through half-cracked lids, he complied.
Leaning forward, she retrieved the leather belt.
As she grabbed hold of his wrists, he said nothing, and only eyed her with his drugged, green gaze. She wrapped the belt around his wrists with one loop, and then another, somehow managing to bind them in place.
Satisfied with her restraint, she smiled dangerously before leaning over him. “Now, where were we?”
Before he could muster a word, she claimed his lips, kissing him with all the passion and love that she held inside. His guttural groans left him as she went in pursuit of rediscovering his body again. She trailed her lips along his strong nape, leaving love bites against his raging, hot flesh. As she reached his shoulder, she laved it with her tongue, supping the saltiness from his skin. His nipples were rigid and firm, she mulled, breathing fast, nipping the tiny bud with her teeth suckling it.
The Darkest Days (Torn Apart Book 2) Page 19
