Her body was reacting even now, simply by thinking about him—about what they’d done together. Her stomach clenched and dampness pooled between her legs, the ache growing until it became almost painful. She wanted to drop everything she was doing and run to the back, lock herself away and jam her hand down her pants. To rub her finger over her clit, hard and fast until the ache changed to shattering release.
But oh God, it terrified her. She’d never felt this way before, so hungry. Starving and needy. What had Adam done to her?
What had she done to herself?
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, searching for a control she was very much afraid was out of her reach. Just a few more hours then she could leave. She just had to survive a few more hours.
Beth finished the girl’s hair, drying it with a final flourish before leading her to the register. A broad smile creased the girl’s face as she tilted her head from side to side, her new cut swinging freely around her face. She said something, watched Beth with an expectant gaze, like she was waiting for a response. Beth muttered a few words through lips that felt numb, went back to her station to clean up. There was nobody else waiting just now, no other appointments. She could go to the back, take a break, try to calm herself down.
How long had she been sitting there, staring at the same page of the magazine before Courtney took a seat across from her? She didn’t know, had no way of knowing, not even when Courtney asked her a question.
Beth shook her head, tried to pretend she had been so engrossed in the magazine that she hadn’t heard. But Courtney was her best friend, had known her too long to fall for the ploy. She leaned across the table, her delicate brows lowered in a frown, and studied Beth.
“Okay, so who is he?”
“What? Who?”
“Whoever has you so distracted. It’s like you’re not even here.”
“I’m not—I mean, nobody. It’s—” Beth forced herself to stop talking, knowing she was only making things worse.
“In all the years I’ve known you, I have never seen you like this. So out with it. Who is he?”
Could she tell Courtney? God no. She’d never understand. Not about the chatroom, not about hooking up with a stranger for sex. Not about Adam and certainly not about the things they’d done, the things she’d done.
Was there anything she could tell Courtney? Maybe, if she stripped everything down to the most basic G-rated version—if such a thing even existed. And maybe talking about him would help put things in perspective—for her, at least.
She ran her finger along the corner of the magazine, fanning the page edges with the tip of her nail. Courtney was still watching her, waiting. Should Beth wave her question away and try to change the subject?
She took a deep breath, working up the courage to say…something. “I, uh, I kind of met someone.”
“What? When? Why haven’t you said anything before now?” Excitement glowed in Courtney’s eyes, her genuine happiness reflected in the smile lighting her face. She leaned her arms on the table and leaned forward, her head tilted to the side. “You can’t stop there! Tell me all about him. I need details.”
Details. Yes, of course she’d want details. But what could Beth say? She didn’t really know Adam, didn’t know anything about him other than his voracious sexual appetite and the fact that he was ready, willing, and able to do anything.
And the fact that no man, ever, had elicited such responses from her body. That no man had made her want to do the things they’d done. But she couldn’t tell Courtney any of that. Not just because her friend would freak if she did, but because it was too personal. Beth was having a hard enough time dealing with it herself—no way could she admit to the things she’d done out loud. To another person.
But surely there was something Beth could tell her about Adam. She frowned, thinking back over the brief conversations they’d had. Not conversations—it had just been one, the first night they’d met. And the very few times they’d texted back and forth.
“Well. His name is Adam.” And oh God, she didn’t even know his last name! Beth cleared her throat, pushed away from the table and pulled two bottles of water from the refrigerator. She passed one to Courtney then took her time untwisting the cap from her own before taking a long sip.
Yes, she was stalling. Could Courtney tell? Of course she could.
Beth capped the bottle and placed it on the table in front her, holding it between her hands as she stared at the label. Better to look at that than meet her friend’s curious gaze.
“He’s a firefighter in—” She paused, frowning, trying to remember. “In Baltimore County, somewhere. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes, deep and dark. And thick wavy hair, the kind you want to run your hands through. All different shades of blonde. He almost looks like one of those surfer boys you see in the magazines but trust me, he is definitely all man!”
Courtney’s smile grew wider and she made a small humming sound of appreciation. “Sounds very nice. How old is he? How did you guys meet?”
“Oh. Uh, he’s a few years older than me.” Maybe. “And we just, you know, kind of met.”
“Well, if the look on your face means anything, he must be something special.”
“Special?” Beth choked the word out. “No! No, not even close. We’ve only gone out twice and—”
“Maybe, but the expression on your face is saying you’re interested in a lot more.”
Beth laughed, a real laugh that didn’t hide her disbelief or dismissal of Courtney’s assertion. “Trust me, I am not interested in more. The only thing I’m interested in is his fire hose—and how well he uses it.”
“Beth! I can’t believe you said that.”
Neither could she, not really. But it was the truth. At least, as close to the truth as she could tell Courtney. There was no way she could tell her best friend how she’d met Adam—or why. So yeah, in a way, that’s all Beth really was interested in.
She just hadn’t expected all the feelings and needs and desires that had been unlocked since meeting him. Had she known she had those buried inside her? No, not even close.
That scared her. Well, maybe not scared—but it definitely worried her. As long as she kept reminding herself that it was just sex, she should be okay.
Hot, sweaty, toe-curling sex, but sex just the same. Nothing more. She and Adam would do their thing and then they’d both move on. This wasn’t a relationship, not even close. It was an encounter. Beth figured they’d meet maybe one or two more times and that would be it. Any more than that and she’d run the very real risk of letting emotions get in the way. She couldn’t afford to let that happen.
And it wasn’t happening now, no matter what Courtney thought she saw in Beth’s face. Courtney just wanted to keep believing in the fairy tale of happily-ever-after, even after her son’s father had disappeared from the picture while she was pregnant.
Beth didn’t believe in fairy tales. And she certainly wasn’t looking for a happily-ever-after. She just wanted to have fun.
And that’s exactly what she was doing. When she was done with Adam, she’d find someone else. Simple as that.
“What’s wrong?”
Beth looked up, noticed the frown of worry on Courtney’s face. “Nothing. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just got this look on your face.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did.” Courtney tilted her head to the side, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder with the motion. The frown deepened as she studied Beth. “Almost like you were sad about something.”
Beth forced a laugh as she pushed away from the table. “You’re seeing things.”
“I don’t think so—”
“Yes, you are. I have nothing to be sad about. I’m finally having fun, that’s all that matters.” She offered Courtney a bright smile, wondering if it was enough to fool her friend.
If it was enough to fool herself.
It should be, because Beth was te
lling the truth. She was having fun, finally free of the idiot she had been seeing for too long, finally free of the worry and self-doubt that he had created inside her.
She had every reason to smile and absolutely no reason to be sad. None at all.
Except she couldn’t shake the feeling that, when the time came, she was going to miss Adam.
And she wasn’t entirely sure she would be comfortable hooking up with anyone else after him.
Chapter Eight
“Christ, this shit tastes like charcoal and lighter fluid.” Adam tossed the burger back on the plate and reached for the bottle of water next to his elbow. The guys were making similar comments, all tossed in Jay’s direction. Everyone except Jimmy, who couldn’t hear anyone because he was sitting there with his earbuds in, listening to who-knew-what.
“Not my fault I picked the short straw to cook. Again.” Jay frowned at his own burger then slowly pushed his plate away. “Okay, yeah, that’s pretty bad.”
“Don’t even pretend you didn’t do this on purpose. You’re usually not this bad.”
“Yeah, sure. I deliberately doused the burgers because I wanted to starve tonight.” Jay shook his head and got up from the table, grabbed his plate and headed toward the trash can. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve used a charcoal grill? Why the hell didn’t day shift fill the tank on the gas grill? You want to blame someone, blame them.”
“Oh bullshit. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re not supposed to throw the burgers on until after the grill stops flaming.” Dale grabbed his own plate and headed to the trash can, a scowl on his face. Adam bit back a laugh, remembering how much Dale had been looking forward to the meat. Apparently his girlfriend, Melanie, had been on a vegetarian kick the last month. They were already taking bets on how long it would be before Dale finally blew.
“When the hell does Pete get back from vacation, anyway?” Adam made his own way to the trash can as he asked the question. Their lieutenant was the one who normally did all the cooking on their shift. Every single one of them took it as some kind of betrayal that he had abandoned them and left them to fend for themselves while he was gone.
“Not soon enough.”
“For shit’s sake, would you guys stop whining? It’s not like we’re going to starve. We’ll just order pizza or something.” Mikey pushed her way around them and dumped her own plate into the trash can. “You’re all acting like a bunch of babies. And you’re giving me a headache so knock it off.”
“What the hell crawled up your ass?”
“Yeah. You’ve been grumpy all shift. What the hell’s up with that?”
Mikey spun on her heel and pinned Adam with one of her classic glares: head tilted to the side, brows lowered over narrowed green eyes, lips pursed like she’d just been forced to suck a down a whole lemon. She reached back, redid her ponytail, then gave him another glare.
“I told you, I’m PMSing.”
“Oh bullshit. You used that excuse two tricks ago. Don’t try to use it again.”
A small smile teased her mouth but only for a second. “Yeah, well. You guys drive me to it. I feel like I’m working with a bunch of little boys with all the constant whining going on.”
Everyone laughed, including Dave, who had been the straight-laced grumpy ass of the shift. At least until he hooked up with his girlfriend, CC, last year.
No, not hooked up. That was the absolute wrong phrase to use. That implied a casual encounter—and Adam was the only one on their shift into that kind of thing. Probably the only one in the station. Hell, probably their whole fucking battalion. Which was fine by him—he wasn’t cut out for a relationship. He’d learned that lesson already—the hard way. And yeah, ha ha, pun intended. Everyone else on his shift could settle down and play house if they wanted. Whatever suited them was fine by Adam.
But that wasn’t him. It never would be. He preferred the freedom of no-strings sex. Casual encounters. No expectations.
That suited him just fine.
He moved back to the table and started cleaning up the rest of their burnt dinner. Mikey and Jay were arguing over what kind of pizza to get. Dale was trying to convince Dave to take the medic unit to pick it up. And Jimmy was sitting there, totally oblivious to everything with his earbuds still in.
Just another night with his perfectly imperfect dysfunctional family.
Sometimes, it was enough to drive him insane.
Usually, when he was feeling this way, he’d disappear downstairs, get on his phone, and play around in the chatroom. Maybe schedule a hook-up for the following day. Only he didn’t feel like doing that tonight. The whole idea left him feeling antsy and unsettled and he didn’t know why.
Or maybe he did and was just afraid to admit it—because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he saw Beth on there again.
He tried to warn her away from the chatroom the last time they were together, nearly two weeks ago. It was dangerous, he’d told her. He hadn’t lied—it could be dangerous. There was no way to tell who you were really talking with, no way to tell who or what you might encounter when meeting in person. The game was new to Beth and he didn’t want her to put herself in a dangerous position.
At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself, even if he had never worried about something like that before. To each his own, right?
Except he still didn’t want to see Beth in the chatroom, didn’t want her taking unnecessary risks. That’s why he broke down and told her that if she was ever in the mood, to call him directly and he’d help her out. No matter when.
Because yeah, he was so fucking noble that way.
It didn’t matter how many times he tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew it was more than a concern for her safety that had prompted him to issue the personal invitation. He’d never done that before, not with any of his previous hook-ups. Not even his favorite ones. So why Beth? What was it that was so different about her?
Sure, she possessed a certain refreshing innocence, something he’d never encountered before in spite of all the things they’d done their last two times together. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he’d been with, either. Yes, Beth was very attractive and pretty. Short with generous curves, a killer smile and those gorgeous eyes. God, he loved the way her eyes changed colors when they were together, going from smoky green to warm brown and all the shades in between. She was eager in bed, willing to learn new things. And she was a fast learner, too.
A grin spread across his face as memories—clear and vivid—swirled through his mind. Yes, she was definitely a fast learner.
But none of that should matter. None of that was enough for him to break his own rules and actually issue an invitation like that. At least, it shouldn’t be. So why the fuck had he?
By his own rules, they had one more time together. Just one. Adam didn’t see any of his hook-ups more than three times, period. That was a hard-and-fast rule. It kept things clean and fun. No strings, no matter what.
If he were smart, he’d get in touch with Beth and schedule that third hook-up and be done with it—except part of him was afraid to.
Afraid that third time wouldn’t be enough, that he’d want a fourth and a fifth and—
“Hey, Romeo.”
Something hit Adam in the shoulder, jerking him to the side. He frowned and straightened in the chair, then twisted to the side to see Dale standing over him. “What the hell?”
“We’ve been calling your name for five minutes. Are you deaf?”
“Whatever.” Adam rubbed his shoulder and tried to push all thoughts of Beth from his mind.
“What do you want on your pizza?”
“I don’t know. The usual, I guess.”
Mikey plopped down in the chair across from him and shook her head, her ponytail swinging. “No. No onion or peppers. The kitchen will reek if you get that.”
“Since when do you care?”
“Since just now. Get something else.”
“What the he
ll is wrong with—”
“No, seriously. I mean it.” She shook her head again, the frown on her face deepening. Everyone turned to look at her, varying degrees of confusion on their faces. Adam opened his mouth to say something only to be stopped by Jay’s hand clamping down on his shoulder—hard.
Adam rolled his eyes and pushed Jay’s hand away. “Fine, whatever. Pepperoni and mushroom then. I don’t care.”
Mikey looked up from the orders she was scribbling on a small notepad and offered him a lopsided grin. “Aw. Are we pouting now?”
“Kiss my ass.”
“With as much as you’ve been around? No thanks. That thing needs to be sterilized first.”
Adam ignored the laughter that greeted her words, tried to pretend they hadn’t struck a sore spot. And what the hell was up with that? Shit like that had never bothered him before. “Funny. Real funny.”
Dave yanked the earbuds from Jimmy’s ears then looked over at them. “Would you guys just finish up so we can call the order in and go pick it up?”
“Don’t rush me.” Mikey made a few more notes on the pad then ripped off the top sheet and handed it back over her shoulder. Dave took it from her then frowned as he read over it. “Five pizzas? There’s only six of us.”
“Yeah, and everyone wants something different. Deal with it.”
Dave muttered something under his breath and started to shove the small slip of paper into his pocket. The alarm went off, echoing around them. All movement stilled as the radio blared to life for a medic call—a car accident a few miles from the station.
Dave removed the note from his pocket and tossed it toward Mikey. “Looks like you guys are picking it up now.”
Dave and Jimmy were hurrying from the kitchen when the alarm went off again, this time for the engine. The accident was now being dispatched as an auto fire with people trapped.
“Fuck.”
“So much for dinner.”
The room erupted in action, everyone running for the engine room. Less than a minute later, they were pulling out the door, sirens wailing and air horn blasting as Dale turned the hulking engine into traffic.
Second Alarm (Firehouse Fourteen Book 5) Page 6
