Couldn’t she see that? Didn’t she know? Her ex certainly didn’t deserve her.
And neither did he.
He pulled her hand from his and sat back down, suddenly weary. Empty. It had been a long day, he was tired and drained. That had to be why he felt the way he did, so…out of sorts. Confused. He must not have explained things the right way. If he had, Beth wouldn’t still be sitting here.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Adam looked over, saw the hesitancy in her eyes, the slight blush coloring her cheeks.
“What?”
“It’s—it’s personal.”
Adam laughed, the sound flat and hollow. She was worried about asking something personal? After everything he’d just told her? “Sure. Okay. What?”
“When…when you were with your girlfriend, did you see anyone else?”
“You mean, did I sleep around on her? No. Not on her, not on anyone else I dated. I don’t go for that shit.”
“How about—I mean, I know we weren’t dating but—never mind. Forget I asked.” She looked away, the blush on her cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red.
“I haven’t been with anyone else since the night I met you, Beth.”
Her head spun around, her eyes widening in surprise. She shook her head, gave him a brief smile. “It’s okay if you have. I understand. You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better.
“I’m not saying it to make you feel better—I’m saying it because it’s the truth. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not a liar.”
Something flared in the depths of her eyes, something he couldn’t decipher. Gratitude? Hell, he didn’t want her gratitude. He wanted—
Fuck. No. No, he couldn’t go there. Not after everything he just told her, not when he knew she’d eventually come to her senses and walk out.
It didn’t matter. It didn’t change how he felt. He wanted her. He wanted Beth. He didn’t know what he was feeling, was afraid to put a name to it, afraid to look too closely at it. All he knew was that he wanted Beth.
And he didn’t deserve her.
She leaned forward, concern etched on her face as she grabbed his hand. “Are you okay? You look—is it your shoulder? Your chest?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess. My chest.”
“Do you want a pill? I’ll get it for you—”
“No. No, I think I just need to lie down for a little bit. That’s all.” He pushed out of the chair, surprised when Beth stood up with him. She stayed right beside him as he walked down the hall, his steps heavy, shuffling. He kept expecting her to leave, to turn around and say goodnight.
To say goodbye.
She followed him into his room instead, hurried to the bed and pulled down the comforter and blanket and top sheet. She hesitated, studying the stuffed bear for a few seconds before moving it to the nightstand. Then she was back by his side, her hand steady on his arm as he climbed the two steps into the bed and stretched out.
“Do you need the pillows adjusted at all? Maybe one by your right side?”
“No, this is good for right now.”
“Are you sure? If you need anything, just let me know.”
If he needed anything.
Adam hesitated, called himself a fool for even thinking of asking. He shouldn’t, had no right—
But he asked anyway.
“Actually, there is something you could do. If you want to, I mean. If not, I understand. You probably—”
“What?”
Adam swallowed, wondered how big a mistake he was making. Fuck, it wasn’t like he could embarrass himself even more by asking, right?
“Would you mind laying down with me? Just for a little bit?”
He expected her to say no. He didn’t expect the soft smile that curled her full lips, or the flash of something bright that shone in her eyes. She nodded and climbed up into the bed, stretched out along his left side and settled the blanket over them.
“Is this okay?”
Adam tightened his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Yeah. Perfect.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Warmth surrounded her, a cocoon of protection. Soothing, comforting. She snuggled deeper, reveling in how natural it felt. How right.
How perfect.
Beth’s lids fluttered open as the dream faded away. Only the warmth was still there, that feeling of being protected. Wanted. Needed.
Cherished.
She blinked, jerked back when she saw the deep blue eyes staring at her. So deep, she could drown in their depths. Her heart slammed into her chest and her breath caught in her lungs. She must still be dreaming, must still be floating in that fantasy world that had pulled her so completely under and held her under its spell.
“Hey.”
Adam’s voice, thick with sleep. His smile, full and sensual.
It wasn’t a dream. She was here, with Adam. In his bed.
And he was watching her with so much…tenderness. No, she must be dreaming. Why else would she be seeing that tenderness in his eyes when he looked at her? She pushed up on one elbow, realized she had been using his chest as a pillow. Her gaze caught on the sling and guilt swept through her. Oh God, had she hurt him? Made his injury worse? He didn’t look like he was in pain but that didn’t mean—
She ran a shaking hand through her hair and looked around, the room slowly coming into focus as the final wisps of sleep faded away. They were in his room, in his giant bed designed for decadence. Oh God, she had fallen asleep in his arms. She hadn’t meant to, hadn’t planned—
She cleared her throat and looked over at him, embarrassment flooding her cheeks when she realized he was still watching her. A faint smile teased the corners of his mouth as he ran his hand along her arm. Her skin pebbled and tingled under his touch as warmth unfurled deep inside her.
She cleared her throat again and looked away, afraid of what he might see on her face, in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep—”
“I’m not complaining.”
“But your shoulder—”
“I’ll survive.” There was something in his voice, something warm, enticing. She turned back to him, trying to figure out why he sounded so different.
Why was he watching her like that? Why was that small smile hovering on his mouth? Shouldn’t he be asleep? Shouldn’t he be resting, letting his body heal? She shouldn’t be in bed with him, certainly shouldn’t be sleeping with her head on his chest.
Beth struggled to sit up all the way, tried not to stare at his broad chest, at the flat planes of his stomach and the thin line of hair that disappeared into the waistband of those loose sweatpants.
Heat filled her face and she looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stay.”
Adam jerked his hand from her arm. The air around them changed, grew chilled and tense. Beth frowned, turned back to face him. The smile was gone from his mouth. A muscle twitched in his clenched jaw as he watched her. His gaze was hooded now, filled with shadows she didn’t understand.
Shadows that leached the warmth from her body and left her chilled and oddly empty.
“Oh.” His voice was flat, emotionless. He looked away, pushed up with his good arm and swung his legs over the side of the bed so his back was to her. “You’ve probably got things to do.”
Why did he sound so…cold? Remote?
Beth slid across the bed on her knees, her feet tangling in the silky sheets. An impatient groan of frustration escaped her as she kicked the sheets away then reached for Adam. His body tensed under her hand and for a brief second, she worried that he’d pull away. That he’d brush off her hand and slide off the edge of the bed and walk away.
“Yes, I do. I’m supposed to be fixing you something to eat. I’m supposed to be helping you—not making things worse by falling asleep on top of you.”
Adam twisted to the side, his brows pulled low over his eyes. His gaze was a little chilled, a little distant, as he studied her. “Yo
u said you didn’t mean to stay.”
“I didn’t. I was only going to lay down with you until you fell asleep.”
His frown deepened. “And then what?”
“Then I was going to go back out to the living room and…” Her voice trailed off. The expression in his eyes had changed again. Not quite as distant, filled with confusion now. And something…something else.
He drew his legs back on the bed, pushing up with his heels until his back was resting against the headboard. He stretched his legs in front of him, crossed them at the ankles, then grabbed a pillow and held it against his right side. His gaze was on her the entire time. Thoughtful, intent, questioning. She scooted away, a little intimidated, not sure what was going through his mind.
“Why are you here, Beth?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you here? Now. With me. Why?”
“Because I—” She swallowed, willed her heart to stop its insane pounding. “Because you need help and—”
“But why you? Why not Jimmy? Or Dave? Or Dale or Jay or even Mikey? Why you?”
“Because…because Mikey thought—”
“Did she put you up to this? Talk you into coming here?”
“No! I mean, yes. Maybe. A little.”
Adam’s mouth hardened into a thin line, but only for a second. He breathed in, a quick inhalation through his nose, then released it slowly.
“So you’re here because, for some reason I can only guess at, Mikey talked you into it?” He closed his eyes and shook his head, muttered something under his breath that she couldn’t make out. “That’s why you stayed, even after I told you everything I did?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why, Beth? Tell me. Why are you here?”
A brief flare of anger flashed inside her and she ruthlessly pushed it away. He wasn’t making any sense, at least not that she could understand. But he was hurt, he probably wasn’t thinking straight because of the pain and the medicine. “Because you need help.”
“Not as a lame ass attempt at matchmaking or obligation, I don’t.”
“What?” Beth narrowed her eyes, the anger springing to life again. No, not anger. Frustration and confusion and…and—yes, a little anger.
“What?” She repeated the question, louder this time. “Obligation? Obligation for what? Do you really think I would be here if I didn’t want to be?”
Adam’s eyes grew a little wider as her voice grew louder. And was that a smile on his face? Yes. Yes, it was. He was trying to fight it, she could see that. And he was failing miserably.
“You want to be with me? After everything I told you, you still want to be with me?”
That was the last straw. Something inside her snapped. Frustration, emotion, uncertainty. All the confusion from the last four months, ever since she’d first laid eyes on the man in front of her. She grabbed one of the pillows, fisted her hands into the downy softness, then swung it against the mattress. Hard. Over and over, a different curse word escaping from between clenched teeth each time she swung.
Adam started laughing. A quiet chuckle at first, growing louder each time she swung the pillow. Beth glared at him, was tempted to hurl the pillow right at his smiling face. But she couldn’t, no matter how frustrated she was, because she didn’t want to hurt him.
“You’re an ass!”
Adam nodded, still laughing. “I know.”
“It’s not funny.”
“I know.”
“Stop laughing!”
“Someone has a little bit of a temper.”
“I do not!”
“You do. It’s cute.”
Beth swung the pillow one more time. He laughed harder then grabbed his side, a hiss of pain escaping his parted lips. Beth leaned forward, her anger and frustration instantly evaporating, changing into concern as she reached for him.
“Did you hurt yourself? Did you make it worse?”
Adam pressed his hand against his side and shook his head. But damn if he didn’t start laughing again, just a little quieter this time. Beth narrowed her eyes and pushed away, ready to climb down from the stupid bed and storm out of the room.
Adam caught her hand, his fingers threading with hers and holding her in place.
“Don’t leave.”
Beth glared at him, wondered if she was faster than he was, considering he was hurt.
Probably not.
He tugged on her hand. “Come here.”
“No.”
He tugged again. “Come here.”
“No.”
The laughter faded from his eyes, replaced with something dangerously warm, frighteningly intense. “Please.”
And oh God, his voice. Soft, caressing. Not pleading, not really—she couldn’t imagine a man like Adam ever pleading—but still somehow vulnerable. It reached out, called to her, drew her in.
Pulled her over the edge she had been trying to scramble away from for weeks now.
He tugged her closer, settled her so she was straddling his lap, then reached up with his free hand and caressed her cheek. His eyes darkened, deep pools of blue that pulled her under his spell.
“You really want to be here? With me?”
Why did he keep asking her that? Hadn’t she admitted her foolish weakness already? Did he really need more?
Realization slammed into her as she looked deeper into his eyes. He did need more. Not because of ego, not because of conceit—but because he truly couldn’t believe it.
And it suddenly made sense, everything he’d told her earlier. He’d been trying to push her away, trying to convince her to leave because he honestly didn’t think he deserved any better.
“Oh, Adam.” She turned her head and pressed a kiss against his palm. “Yes, I do. I—I care about you.”
A spark of light flared in his eyes, chasing away the last of the shadows. He grinned, wrapped his hand around her neck, and pulled her down for a kiss. Long, deep, filled with unspoken promises.
He pulled away, his eyes searching hers. “Stay with me.”
“Okay.”
“I mean it.”
“Okay.”
“Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. I want you to stay with me. I need you to stay with me.”
Beth nodded, her throat too thick with emotion to say anything. This was all new—for both of them. There were things they needed to talk about, things they both needed to figure out.
But for now—
For now, it was enough.
She nodded again, lowered her mouth to his, gave herself up to the kiss. Deep, possessing. Giving and taking. Desire and need exploded inside her and she pressed herself even closer, ran her hands through his hair as she gave herself over to him.
She eased away, finally aware of the hard thickness of his cock pressing between her legs. A frown creased her face and she looked down at him. “You can’t be serious.”
He smiled, the dimple showing in his cheek. “All I have to do is think about you and I get hard.”
“We can’t. Not right now. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“Maybe I can’t, but you can.”
“Adam, no. I couldn’t.”
But she could.
And they did.
Epilogue
One Year Later
“We’re going to be late.”
“No, we won’t.”
“The christening starts in two hours. Mikey will be furious if we’re not there on time.”
Beth had a point. Adam was one of the godfathers to Mikey and Nick’s baby girl, a healthy happy three-month-old they had named Shannon. It went without saying that Shannon would be the most protected girl in the mid-Atlantic. How could she not be, with so many uncles?
But Adam wasn’t worried about Shannon, not right now. He was completely focused on Beth. How had it happened? He hadn’t planned on a relationship, had convinced himself it would never happen. He was too sick, too twisted, too depraved.
And he had certa
inly never expected to fall in love.
But he had. Firmly, deeply, madly in love.
Now if he could just convince Beth that they had plenty of time.
“I love you.”
She narrowed her eyes, her expression letting him know that she was well aware of what he was trying to do. “I love you, too. We still don’t have time.”
“Just a quickie.”
Her eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “That word isn’t in your vocabulary.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“We’re going to be late.”
“We won’t be late. I swear.”
Beth frowned, disbelief filling her eyes. Okay, maybe he’d said similar things in the past. He always meant them. It wasn’t his fault that he lost total track of all time whenever he was Beth.
Her gaze darted to the master bedroom shower, a large custom walk-in job with a tile bench and a stone floor. Steam floated from the copper shower head, forming condensation on the large glass door. Her gaze slid from the shower and danced across his naked body. Desire flared in her eyes as she watched him stroke the hard length of his cock.
Her throat worked as she swallowed. Adam held his breath, waiting to see what she would do. Beth laughed, whipped the towel from her body, and hurried into the shower.
Adam breathed a sigh of relief and hurried in after her. She spun around, her arms wrapping around his neck as his mouth closed over hers. Hot, needy, demanding. She dragged one hand along his shoulder, down across his chest, his stomach. Lower still. Breath rushed from his chest on a long moan when her hand closed around his cock, stroking him. God, her touch. He’d never get tired of it, would always hunger for it. Just her touch was enough to bring him to the brink.
He moaned again, slid his mouth from hers, grabbed her by the hips and lifted. Legs wrapped around his waist as he braced her against the smooth wall. Her head fell back, a long moan escaping her as he drove his cock into the tight heat of her pussy.
As he drove himself home.
Finally finding himself in the woman who loved him.
###
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Second Alarm (Firehouse Fourteen Book 5) Page 18
