Perhaps her death was why I wanted to leave. Losing her three years ago had devastated Dad and me. I had been so much closer to Mom than to Dad and I just wanted to get away from all of the memories. Moving here and looking at the beach in La Jolla every day from my apartment had been the perfect change.
It was Christmas though, and time for my annual visit.
I stood and stretched, arching my back and looked out of my window. Everything was beautiful here, including the people and there were times that I didn’t feel like I fit in. I wasn’t skinny and blonde like the girls on the beaches and in the shopping malls. I took after my mother, with thick curves. I had caramel colored curls that framed my face and Dad’s big brown eyes. I didn’t stand out here at all apart from being a reliable worker at my firm, which I was proud of. I wanted to go home and make Dad feel proud of me as well. He might appreciate my work ethic since he was always such a hard worker, spending more time at his law firm than at home. Once Mom died, he put in several more hours per week and was rarely home.
It was no wonder that I accepted this job. I hated being by myself in the big house, where everything reminded me of Mom.
I had a couple of weeks left before I had to leave for the holiday. I spent most of my time at the office. It was one of my favorite places, motivating me to do better in life. The thought of going home and celebrating another Christmas without Mom was daunting, even though my aunts, uncles, cousins, and some of my friends would be there.
I’d find a way through it, though. Maybe I’d find a connection with Dad again.
I dug into the back of my closet the night before my flight. I hadn’t worn winter clothes for a year now, and it felt weird to fold the sweaters and jeans before I tucked them into my suitcase. I chose a pair of yoga pants for the flight with a button up flannel that I could slip off if I got too hot. I went through security and sat down. I enjoyed a coffee while I waited to board and watched everyone coming and going. I loved watching people.
Once I was seated in coach, I waited until we were in the air before I pulled out my Kindle to pass the time. I knew that I would doze off at some point, but the coffee was still keeping my eyes open. I was reading a saucy story about the handsome alpha male and the shy girl. The torrid descriptions made me shift in my seat, realizing that I’d never had any of this in my life. Sure, there were a few guys in high school and college that I’d fooled around with, but it was all casual and never with this kind of heat. I wondered what it would be like to be with such a dominant man for a moment and my thighs clenched. I laughed softly to myself and realized that life really wasn’t like in the books and movies, at least not mine.
I did fall asleep for a while, cramped and bored in the small space, waking up a few times when kids were crying. Sleeping passed the time even if it was interrupted and restless. Once we landed, I was groggy, but I could hardly wait to get out and walk again. I knew that Dad would send a car for me since he trusted his driver Charles a lot more than he did any cabbie. I walked to the baggage claim to pick up my dark green suitcase and walked out of the front doors to see a black town car with a familiar man standing by the back door. “Charles,” I greeted him. He smiled and hugged me. I’d known him for years since Dad was never a fan of driving himself. In the city, it was a chaos of traffic and pedestrians and only for the brave.
I always wondered why Mom insisted on driving her blue Tahoe all over the place. Perhaps it was a little bit of me-time, something that ended on the Long Island Expressway one afternoon when she was returning from lunch with friends. Dad had become stricter from that day on, insisting that Charles drives me everywhere.
When I moved to San Diego, I insisted on driving my silver Range Rover all the way to California because I’d need it there. Dad was livid about it, but I was eighteen, and he couldn’t stop me, even though I knew it broke his heart. Losing the love of his life had been life-altering for him, and I felt sorry for him, but I couldn’t let fear dominate my own life. Mom’s accident had just been the result of horrible timing combined with a bad driver, something that could happen to anybody. Mom had never lived in fear. She loved her life, even if it had been too short.
Charles got me settled in the back of the car before he headed to Dad’s house, making me smile when I saw a bag of cookies from my favorite bakery as well as a tall cup of coffee. Sometimes, I realized that Dad’s staff members were more like family to me than Dad was. They were also warmer towards me. “Thank you,” I said to Charles while breaking off a piece of the soft chocolate chip cookie.
“Not a problem,” Charles said back to me as I leaned back and smiled. I could do this.
Chapter Two - Alyssa
Charles parked in the driveway, and I glanced out of the window to see the classic brick house, spacious and beautiful. I never understood why they had built an eight thousand square foot home when they had just one child, but Mom was still able to make every single room homey and warm. It amazed me. Charles got my door and suitcase, and I looked at his wrinkled face and twinkling blue eyes. I knew he was paid well, but I sometimes felt sorry for him having to always be there at Dad’s every beck and call.
We walked into the house, and while Charles headed to my room with the bags, I walked to the kitchen to greet Sherry, our chef. She took over when Mom passed away. Cooking had been another thing that Mom loved to do. Sherry was sweet enough to use Mom’s recipes often, though I don’t think that Dad had ever noticed it as much as I had.
“Hi, sweetie,” Sherry turned from the stove to greet me with a smile. She was a pretty brunette in her late fifties.
“Hey there. How are things around here?” I asked her.
“Well, I feel like I cook for a ghost most of the time. Your father is always working, as usual. I look forward to your company,” Sherry told me and shook her head. “How long are you home for?”
“Two weeks,” I replied as she nodded and walked over to give me a hug.
“We’ll make it special,” she said. I took a seat at the long breakfast bar that overlooked the kitchen. “I’m making beef stew with barley for dinner tonight since I think your father’s partner is coming over this evening. It’s for business purposes, but the man does need to eat.”
Nathan Moore was Dad’s partner and a handsome man in his late forties. I’d always had a secret crush on him, but he was married for most of the time I’d known him. But even if he hadn’t been married, Nathan was so much older than I was that it was crazy to think of him as a potential lover.
“Yeah, Dad doesn’t eat enough,” I agreed after a moment and smiled. “Beef stew sounds good.”
I helped Sherry with the Christmas tree. Her husband had gotten it set up near the front window and she wanted me to decorate it. We ended up doing it together while I told her the same stories about the ornaments that I had every year since she’d come here. Some of the ornaments Mom had bought during her travels, others she had bought as part of a new theme that she would try every few years. I loved to mix them up and add in the ones that Grandma gave me every year for Christmas before she passed away.
Decorating the tree took all afternoon, and I went up to my room to change into some black slacks and a purple cashmere sweater for dinner. Dad didn’t appreciate yoga pants being worn when company was over. I didn’t either, knowing how much they accented my full figure.
I helped Sherry set the table for dinner and everything was ready when we heard the garage door. I looked up with a smile when Dad led Nathan inside, talking about a court case as could be expected. He saw me and smiled briefly before he went into his office to put his briefcase away. Nathan leaned against the kitchen counter, and I felt his eyes roving over me while I looked at the floor and blushed, plagued by my earlier thoughts. “It looks like California is treating you well, Alyssa.”
I looked at him, appreciating his smooth face and intense blue eyes. My word, Nathan was working out these days. I could see his muscles bulging under his white shirt. His tie was hanging loo
se. He was more relaxed than Dad in some ways, but I sensed a deep strength inside of him as I smiled. “Yes, it’s a great firm and La Jolla is lovely.”
“Indeed, it is. I have a sister living over there that I visit frequently. Maybe next time we can have dinner together,” Nathan suggested, and I nodded as our eyes locked for a second. I felt heat pass through my veins and licked my lips as I grabbed onto the counter behind me.
“That would be wonderful,” I told him as Dad came back into the kitchen and Sherry started ladling the soup into big bowls for everyone. She’d made a hearty salad to go with it as well as thick, crusty bread. I sat across from Nathan and next to Dad. They talked about a new case that sounded complicated. I felt out of place. I took small bites of the soup and let my gaze rest on Nathan from time to time. His tie was gone now, and he seemed to relax a little while he ate and sipped the wine that was poured for dinner. Dad’s was still on as if he was still at work.
I thought about Mom and how different she was from Dad while my eyes grazed over Nathan. Seeing his left-hand bare made my heart pound in my chest. He was single now? Not that it mattered of course, but when his eyes met mine with intensity for just a second I almost believed that it did. I focused on my food that was delicious, taking faster bites of the soup and tearing the bread apart to dip it into the bowl. There was something in this room now, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I glanced at Dad to see if he was picking up on it, but he was so wrapped up in the conversation that he didn’t even feel my gaze.
Nathan felt it. I saw it in his eyes when he glanced at me before offering a suggestion to Dad, dark with a promise of something similar to the book I was reading on the way here. I felt stunned. I had never felt this way before in my twenty-three years of life, not even with the people I’d nearly slept with before I changed my mind. This wasn’t right. He was older and my father’s business partner, for Christ’s sake.
I excused myself from the table to take my dishes into the kitchen for an escape, and took a few deep breaths. Sherry made an apple cake for dessert, and I walked over to the fridge to pull it out after noisily dropping my dishes into the sink. She’d left for the evening to get home to her husband and I was alone. I set the cake on the counter and turned when someone cleared their throat. “I was going to make some coffee. We have a late night ahead of us.” Nathan stared at me while he spoke and I nodded and walked over to what looked like an even newer Keurig. I got the water in, asking him what he liked without looking at him. “Something strong,” Nathan told me. I pulled out a dark French roast and got it into the machine with shaking hands. “You feel it as well, don’t you?”
“Feel what?” I asked as I set a large mug under the spout and pressed the button to start brewing the drink. I set the blend that Dad liked down on the counter and raised my eyes to his.
“This heat, this attraction,” Nathan replied as he lowered his hand to rest it on my lower back. The heat from his skin seared me and I arched forward and closer to him as he eyed my lips.
“Nathan,” I whispered and looked toward the dining room with wide eyes.
“He’s on the phone in his office,” Nathan assured me and I pressed my lips together. “I am not going to push this with you, Alyssa. I just know that I want you and I can see in those scared brown eyes that you want me as well. I am divorced now and available. Linda left two years ago, looking for something else.”
“I’m sorry,” I told him. He shook his head and looked at my lips again.
“Don’t be. It was time,” Nathan assured me as I glanced over to see his coffee ready. I pulled it out and asked if he wanted cream or sugar, seeing him shake his head. Dad was the same way, and I brewed his dark roast and pulled it out as I looked at Nathan. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine slowly. I sucked in my breath, pulling away as he took his coffee in his hands. I brought Dad’s to the office, where he finally hugged me and told me that it was good to have me home. I told them to let me know if they wanted more coffee. I left to clean up the table, remembering the cake and brought the dishes in.
My brain felt lost since that brief kiss. It was nothing really, but it felt like my whole life revolved around it. I cut pieces of the dessert and took the plates into the office, tapping on the door before I walked inside. I set the cake down and glanced at Dad and Nathan as his eyes locked on mine for a long moment. I told them to call me if they needed anything before I left again. I took my slice to the bistro table by the window overlooking some of the rare trees in New York, silently thanking my father for choosing a house outside of the city where he worked. We were on Long Island, and while the traffic could be unbearable, Charles dealt with it while Dad worked in the back of the car. Mom and I preferred living here and having the choice of going in when we needed to, something that she was doing when she was killed.
God, I missed her right now.
Chapter Three - Nathan
I lost my breath when I walked into the house and saw Alyssa in the kitchen. She was helping with something on the counter, and I took a long look at her, curvy in all of the right places and looking sexy as hell. Alyssa had always been a beautiful girl, but now she was older, more mature. She looked more like her mother by the day, someone that her father hadn’t appreciated as much as he should have. That was my opinion anyway, seeing how loving that she was towards her family. Nola was an incredible woman, and I sensed how lost my friend was now that she was gone, realizing what he’d had. Brad worked more and more and tightened the control around his house, making me able to see why Alyssa left after she graduated. She needed to spread her wings.
She was here now, and the blood went rushing to my groin as I tugged my tie loose.
I greeted her, hoping that I sounded sane as she responded. I knew that she lived in La Jolla near my younger sister, so I brought that up, adding in that I visited her a lot. I didn’t work as much as Brad did, insisting on vacations and time to decompress. I told her that we should have dinner sometimes when I was there, something that she agreed to as I hardened under my slacks. Jesus, Alyssa was hot. I saw the way that she was looking at me as well and wondered if she felt this too. Brad came back into the room, and I watched as his chef spooned something into bowls that she and Alyssa carried into the formal dining room. There was also a plate of bread and a salad there, filled with vegetables and making my stomach growl. I didn’t eat well as a bachelor, though that was probably the only thing that I missed about Linda. I’d considered hiring my own chef for some time now, but it was easier to grab something on the way home from work at this point.
One bite of this stew made me reconsider my choices as Brad went right back into the new malpractice suit we had going on now. It was big news in the office. I looked at him as he spoke, wondering why he hadn’t hugged his daughter yet or greeted her at all. I offered suggestions and felt Alyssa’s big eyes on me as we talked. I’d draped my tie over the chair, needing to breathe as the room heated up around me, feeling the electricity between her and me. What the fuck was happening? I was no angel since my divorce, but I’d never felt this way before. I allowed my gaze to rest on her from time to time, feeling my own blue eyes darken with need as she stared back at me. Somehow, I managed to eat and keep up with the conversation, enjoying every bite of the meal even through my distraction. I knew we were in for a long night, so I devoured everything on my plate and promised myself a long workout in my home gym in the morning.
I noticed as Alyssa nervously left the table with her dishes and felt everything good in the room leave with her. Brad pushed away his half-eaten plate and mumbled something about getting to work as I tried to find a reason to go talk to her in the kitchen. “Go ahead and call Michael. I’ll make some coffee and meet you in the office.”
I stood with my own dishes and went in, clearing my throat when I passed through the door so I wouldn’t scare her. Alyssa dropped something on the counter and turned to see me as she pressed a hand to her chest and took a deep breath. I explained th
at I was going to make coffee as I walked over to the sink, seeing her nod and go to the coffee maker as she stared at it blankly for a moment. She seemed to move past whatever was troubling her, filled the reservoir with water and opened a drawer located nearby as she asked me what I liked.
I moved closer to her and told her that I wanted something strong. Alyssa shivered, pulled out a pod and inserted it into the machine with shaking hands. “You feel it as well, don’t you?” I asked her as I watched her carefully. She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and placed it into the machine before pushing a blinking red button.
“Feel what?” Her voice was soft, almost a breath as she pulled out a pod and set it on the counter.
“This heat, this attraction,” I replied as I moved my hand to rest it on her lower back, above the soft sweater. I longed to pull her closer to me, but I resisted, reminding myself that she was young and likely feeling uncomfortable by this. She arched her back, jutting her full breasts out towards me as her body moved closer to mine.
“Nathan,” she whispered with her eyes wide as she stared at the entrance to the dining room.
“He’s on the phone in his office,” I assured Alyssa as she pressed her lips together. I wanted to add that I doubted he noticed her at all, but I bit my tongue. “I am not going to push this with you, Alyssa. I just know that I want you and I can see in those scared brown eyes of yours that you want me as well.” I remembered something else and stroked her back. “I am divorced now and available. Linda left two years ago, looking for something else.” Alyssa expressed her remorse, and I shook my head as she pressed her enticing lips together. “Don’t be. It was time.” I watched as she pulled out the coffee and asked if I wanted cream and sugar, making me shake my head as she remained close to me. She made another cup, presumably for her father before she stared up helplessly at me.
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