“Nice,” he commented.
“It’s just a room, Reese,” Karin mumbled, hoping he would be satisfied and they could go to the living room.
“Not just a room, it’s your room.” He flopped down on her bed. Reese grabbed Karin and pulled her down to the bed. She let him without protest and they began to kiss.
“Now this isn’t committing a capital offense, is it?” Reese asked between kisses.
“No.” Not yet anyway, Karin thought.
She was on top of him and their bodies were so close that she could feel his heart beating fast. Or was that hers?
After a while, Reese easily turned them around and was half on top of Karin, his leg straddling hers.
“You’re so fine, Karin,” he murmured.
She did not respond, caught up in his physical presence and the yearning that seemed to come with it. But when his hand slid up her leg, while the other hand began to undo the buttons of her blouse, warning bells rang in Karin’s head.
“Don’t,” she whispered. When he continued as if he hadn’t heard her, she pushed his chest and raised her voice an octave. “Stop it, Reese!”
He did, lifting up. She could not tell if it was shock or hurt in his eyes. Maybe both.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“I can’t do this right now, Reese. Not here.”
“Do what?” His gaze was unblinking.
“This,” she stated, buttoning her blouse. “What if my mother caught us?” She didn’t even want to think about that, not to mention how her father would have reacted.
“She wouldn’t catch us,” Reese said as though a soothsayer.
“You don’t know that.”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“I’m not,” she said ill at ease. “I just don’t want us to get into trouble.”
“We won’t.”
“What about what you told my parents?” Karin asked.
Reese narrowed his eyes. “What about it?”
“Did you mean it?”
He paused. “Yeah, I did. I’m not here to hurt or disrespect you, Karin. I thought this was something we were gravitating toward as a couple. If I was wrong—”
“You’re not,” she tried to assure him. “It’s just...”
While the right words got caught in Karin’s throat, Reese asked, “Don’t you want us to be together?”
“We are together.”
“I think you know what I mean.”
Karin knew exactly what he meant. And that was the problem.
“Yes, no, I don’t know,” she stammered, “if I’m ready for that yet, Reese.”
“You don’t have to be scared,” he said soothingly. “I’ve got protection, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m acting responsibly, just like I promised your parents.”
The fact that he carried a condom around like one carries money was not a great surprise to Karin. Most guys probably did. Though, from what she’d heard, most had no desire to use them. Karin was happy to know Reese was different in that respect, wanting to protect her from an unwanted pregnancy or other problems. But it did make her wonder how many times he’d had sex and if his partners were any more ready for it than she was.
“It’s not the only thing that concerns me,” Karin said truthfully.
He propped up on an elbow and met her eyes. “Well, what else is on your mind?”
“I want it to be special when I give myself to a boy.”
“It will be.”
“For you maybe.”
He grimaced. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She sucked in a deep breath. “It means that I need more time before going down that road.”
Reese sat up, scratching his head. “We’ve been going together for two months, Karin. How much more time do you need?”
She paused. “I don’t know. I just want to enjoy what we have without being pushed into something I may only end up regretting.”
“You won’t regret it,” he declared. “I won’t hurt you, I swear.”
“I know you won’t.” Not purposefully anyway, Karin convinced herself.
“Then let’s do it,” Reese commanded.
“Why can’t we wait?” she challenged him.
He let out a long breath. “Karin, a guy can’t wait forever you know.”
Karin sat up, batting her eyes, though she had expected this moment to come sooner or later. She would have preferred later.
“So what are you saying, Reese? That unless we have sex right this minute, you’ll dump me and go back to Cheryl? Or find somebody else who’s willing?”
Karin wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, but she needed to find out where she stood with him.
“No, it’s not like that.” Reese smoothed an eyebrow. “All I’m saying is that I just want to be with you as my girlfriend. Being together is a natural thing when two people care about each other. I know you want it, too.”
“Yes, I think I do,” she admitted. Or at least she wanted to believe that. “I think about what it will be like all the time.”
“So let’s find out.”
Karin stared at him. “Do you love me, Reese?” she decided to ask pointblank.
He considered the question, taking his time before responding. “Yeah, I do.”
“So why haven’t you ever told me?”
Reese shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess guys just assume that girls know how they feel.”
“Well we don’t,” she stressed. “Not unless they tell us. Or you tell me—”
“And what if I tell you?” he asked straightforwardly. “Will you give it up for me then?”
Karin’s palms were sweaty. She felt his gaze bearing down on her, waiting for the right answer.
“Yes,” she answered. “But not today.”
“Then when?”
“You never even asked if I love you,” Karin said disappointedly.
He regarded her with interest. “Do you?”
“Yes,” she spoke from her heart.
It was something she had probably known for a while now, but had not really come to grips with it till this very moment. In her mind what she was feeling had to be love, for it had also affected her body in strange, but appealing ways.
Reese smiled. He reached over and kissed her. She kissed him back. Again things built up to a fevered pitch before his hands were once more all over her and looking to explore areas she considered out of bounds.
Even though she felt herself sinking under his potent spell, Karin fought back temptation and him as she pulled away.
“If you really love me, Reese, you’ll be patient. Please. I just can’t do this today.”
A look of anger crossed his face, then resignation and, finally, that dazzling smile.
“Okay, it’s cool, baby,” he assured her.
“Really?”
“Yeah. We can wait. But not forever.” He put his hand on her check. “It’s just that you mean so much to me and I’m going crazy thinking about us being together.”
“I know,” Karin said understandingly. “Me, too.”
Reese smiled and stood up. “Well, I’d better go.”
“We could just hang out for a while,” she suggested, not wanting him to leave yet.
“I’ve got some things to do,” he said without elaboration.
Karin accepted that he wanted to leave, probably because she refused to go all the way with him. Though she knew this was a good thing on her part, she wondered why it felt so bad.
Reese gave her a lightning quick kiss on the lips at the front door. “I’ll call you later.”
“Promise?” she asked doubtfully.
“Yeah.”
She watched as he got in his car, backed out of the driveway, and sped off, as if he couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
Is he still my boyfriend or did I just blow it big time? Karin was left to second-guess herself. She wondered if Reese being her boyfriend had su
ddenly become conditional on whether or not they slept together.
Karin didn’t even want to think about that, though she knew it would be impossible not to. She had just told Reese that she loved him. And he had admitted the same thing to her. Could their love hold together under the cloud that suddenly hung over them like a shroud? Or would it blow up in her face and send her boyfriend into the arms of Cheryl or someone else?
CHAPTER TWENTY
“You made the right decision not to go all the way,” Lesley told Karin. They were sitting in the mall’s food court, sipping fruit juice.
“You think?”
“Don’t you?”
Karin shrugged. “Yes and no. Oh, I don’t know. I mean, what if Reese grows tired of waiting and looks elsewhere?”
Lesley sneered. “Then he probably wasn’t worth the trouble. Being easy won’t necessarily allow you to hang onto him.”
“It’s not like I would be jumping into bed with him after one date,” Karin stated. “We’ve been seeing each other for over two months.”
“Yeah, same for me and Marcus. But he knows how I feel and he’s backed off from wanting more. Reese should do the same if he really cares about you.”
“He loves me,” Karin insisted. She tried to convince herself that they weren’t just empty words. And I love him. She knew this in her heart of hearts.
“Then he’ll respect your wishes and not issue ultimatums about sex,” Lesley declared. “We can’t just give them what they want whenever they want it, especially when we’re the ones who have to live with the consequences, like it or not.”
Karin put down her bottle of juice. “Reese said he has protection.” Karin knew that was hardly the same thing as abstinence insofar as safe sex and avoiding pregnancy and other troubles that could arise.
Lesley rolled her eyes. “Yeah, they all say that. But protection can go wrong and your whole life can be ruined in the process. I say don’t do it, girlfriend, until you’re totally cool with it.”
“Why does having a boyfriend have to be so complicated?” Karin moaned.
“I think it’s because of that Mars and Venus thing my Mom likes to talk about,” offered Lesley. “At least that’s her excuse when things between her and Edgar get bumpy, as they seem to have lately.”
“Maybe they’re not meant to be together,” Karin suggested. She was sure this wasn’t the case with her and Reese.
“Yeah, I’ve told Mom that, but she says they’re just going through a phase and that males and females are naturally at odds. Being involved with a guy only makes it more obvious, even if it’s what we want in life.”
“Well, I just want to be happy without all the strings that seem to be attached,” groaned Karin. “Is that asking too much?”
“I don’t think so,” Lesley said. “But relationships are full of strings attached, even for teenagers...or should I say especially for teens? That’s just the way life is. Get used to it.”
I wish I could, Karin mused. She could only hope that things didn’t get any more complicated between her and Reese, threatening what seemed to be a promising relationship.
“So do you think your Mom and Edgar are going to get past their problems?” Karin wondered.
“Beats me.” Lesley shrugged. “One minute they’re all lovey dovey, the next they’re hurling insults at one another. At least if they went their separate ways, I wouldn’t have to work at that stupid bookstore anymore. It would be way too awkward and the pay sure isn’t making that much of a difference in our lives.”
“I agree, you definitely would have to quit that job and I’m sure your Mom would want you to, if things fell apart between her and Edgar.” Karin looked at her. “Maybe you could find something at the mall, if you needed to keep working. Or, better yet, we could put our heads together and find some other way to bring in extra bucks without sacrificing your weekends.”
“If only,” Lesley said hopefully. “But right now, I don’t expect much to change in my life. Mom really wants things to work out with Edgar, no matter how I feel, like he’s the only man left on the planet with Dad gone.”
“Just give things time to work out one way or the other,” Karin told her. “I know Shelly wants what’s best for both of you.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Lesley drew a breath. “In the meantime, do you think we could switch parents?” Lesley looked serious for a moment, then broke into laughter.
Karin followed suit. “Be my guest! Just be prepared for boredomville. As you know, my parents are much on auto pilot most of the times like they’re sleepwalking. Except when they’re at odds over me or something I’ve done or didn’t do.”
Lesley sipped her drink. “Consider yourself lucky. At least they’re both still around to make your life miserable at times. For me it’s just my Mom who stays on my case. I’d give anything to have my Dad back.”
“I know.” Karin said sadly and touched her arm. “But you don’t just have Shelly. You’ve got me, too...and Marcus.”
Lesley smiled. “Thank goodness for that. Guess I do have a lot to be thankful for, huh?”
“Guess you do.” Karin grinned, knowing the same was true for her.
“So now that we’ve solved our problems for today, let’s get outta here,” Lesley said, standing up.
“All right.”
They went window shopping, and then bought some underwear and shoes. All the while, Karin pondered her next get-together with Reese. What will he be expecting from her? Could she resist his advances and her growing desire to be with him?
* * *
Karin stood in the crowded sunken living room of Jayne Hathaway’s house. Dance music blasted from the stereo making it hard to think, much less carry on a conversation without screaming. Karin was sure her parents would kill her if she ever gave such a party while they were out of town. She was holding a plastic cup of beer—sipping it only for effect—which she and Lesley had gotten from the keg in the kitchen.
That was when Lesley spotted Marcus and left her to be with him. Karin wondered if it had been a good idea to come to a party where she felt like an outcast, especially when Reese hadn’t shown up yet. For all she knew, he might not show at all, leaving her stuck there by herself.
She watched Jayne moving around fluidly between her guests, clearly enjoying playing host. When Jayne spotted Karin, she walked up to her.
“I see you made it.” Jayne licked her glossed lips.
“Yeah.” Karin tasted the beer. “It’s cool.”
Jayne smiled. “Where’s Lesley?”
“I think I saw her and Marcus go that way,” she pointed down a hallway filled with other teens.
“And Reese?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
Jayne scratched her cheek. “Well there are lots of cute guys here. Take your pick. Maybe that’ll show Reese he’s not the only one for you.”
Karin flinched. The problem was, she wanted him to be the only one for her. And vice versa.
“I’ll do that,” she lied. Coming onto guys was not something she was comfortable with, even under the best of circumstances. And certainly not at a party where everyone was drinking and signals could easily be misconstrued.
“Cool. If you need anything let me know.”
Jayne strutted off and walked right into the arms of Harold Franklin. She practically had to jump up to kiss him, but seemed to have perfected the technique.
Karin decided to at least change locations so as not to appear too much like she didn’t belong. She weaved her way through the crowd and ended up in the family room. It was just as loud and hectic. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find Marilyn Chamberlain standing there.
“Hi,” she shouted, holding a bottle of malt liquor.
“Hey, Marilyn.”
Please don’t bring up the track thing, Karin thought.
“Heard that Coach Cleaver talked to you about trying out for the track team,” Marilyn said.
“Yeah, we talked.” K
arin resisted the urge to go elsewhere.
“So are you going to do it?”
“Don’t know.”
Marilyn’s thick brows knotted. “You should, but time’s running out before the team is set. I made it. My brother was thrilled!”
“I’m happy for you, Marilyn,” Karin said genuinely.
“I’ll be happier if I have someone on the team I can hang out with.”
She just won’t quit, Karin mused, but smiled nevertheless. “We’ll have to see about that.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, I promise that I’ll really think it through,” she clarified.
Marilyn seemed satisfied for the moment. Someone else she knew came up to her and they began to talk, as if Karin wasn’t even there.
She walked away and nearly bumped into Cheryl. Her latest beau was not beside her.
Cheryl flashed a full smile. “Jayne told me she’d invited you and Lesley. I’m glad she did.”
Karin was not sure she believed her, but it didn’t really matter. She wasn’t there to get Reese’s ex-girlfriend’s approval.
“So...have you and Reese done the nasty yet?” Cheryl asked, peering at her. “Or have you managed to keep him at arm’s length for now?”
Karin sensed that Cheryl was more than a little curious, as though she still had a vested interest. Did she?
Before Karin could come up with a response, she heard a male voice over her shoulder. “I thought you’d changed your mind about coming.”
She turned around and saw Reese. He grinned at her and she nearly melted, till reality set in.
“Actually, I’ve been here...waiting for you,” she told him peevishly, forgetting for a moment that Cheryl was listening intently to every word.
“I was here, too,” he insisted and met her gaze with innocent eyes. “We must have missed each other with all the people hanging around.”
Karin chose to believe him, for she had no reason not to. She smiled waveringly. “Yeah, I guess we must have.”
Reese looked beyond her. “Hey, Cheryl. What’s up?”
She batted her curly lashes flirtatiously. “Oh you know me, baby. I’m just trying to have a good time.”
“Yeah.” He left it at that.
Her Teen Dream Page 11
