by Mia Ford
“My dreams aren't on hold, Reese. My dreams have merely changed. And Eli is my world now, everything I want in life revolves around him. So, don't think I regret it, not even for a minute, because I don't.”
“You're a good mom, Maya,” he said, staring me dead in the eyes. “Just know though, from this day forward, you're not going to have to do this alone.”
I hope not, I thought to myself. I really, really hope not.
Reese and I worked out an arrangement – he came over a few times a week to spend time with Eli. And eventually, I let Reese take his son to the park and out on trips, just the two of them. I knew the day was coming where he'd want to tell Eli the truth about who he was, and I knew I needed to break the news to my family too. But I kept pushing it off. Part of me was just waiting for something to happen and for Reese to disappear. And the other part of me was just plain terrified to do it.
But the fear of him bolting was diminishing day by day. It didn't scare me as much now that we'd been doing this for a few months. I was slowly starting to believe that this was real. That Reese was going to be a permanent part of Eli's life.
But I was still afraid of how my parents would react when I told them who Eli's father was. I'd lied to them about the father of their grandson, acted like I had no clue where to find him all these years. When all along, I knew.
I knew because it had to be Reese. He was my first, and at that time, my only.
And the day would come that I'd have to admit that to everyone, Eli included.
And one evening, after Reese dropped Eli off, he stuck around until we put our son to bed, together. It was something that was becoming more and more common and something I was beginning to enjoy. I could tell there was something on his mind though, and I prepared myself for the talk I'd been dreading since I told Reese about his son.
As Reese closed the door to Eli's bedroom, he smiled at me. “Asleep at last.”
“You spoil him, you know? I only read him one book, then it's off to sleep.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, sitting down on the couch beside me instead of across from me. “But I can't help it. When he asks, it's so hard for me to say no.”
“Oh trust me, I know,” I said.
“I know you do,” he said. “I really can't say it enough, Maya, but thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being amazing. Seriously, I couldn't ask for a better mother for my kid.”
I could feel myself blushing, my cheeks were literally on fire. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, but Reese surprised me by reaching out and lifting my face up to look him in the eyes.
“Thank you, Reese,” I said, my voice soft. “I just love that little guy. More than life itself.”
“I know you do, Maya. And I love him too.”
I stared into his eyes and knew he meant it. He meant every word he was saying.
He continued, “And I think I may be falling in love with you too.”
My heart stopped. Everything stopped. It was like time was standing still as I looked at Reese, trying to figure out if I'd heard him correctly. No way. No way did I hear him right.
“What?” I finally asked, shaking my head as if trying to wake myself from a dream. “I missed that. What did you say?”
“I said I think I'm falling in love with you too,” he said, speaking louder this time. He looked so sure of himself, as if he'd known for a while now, but it was a surprise to me. “Seeing you with Eli, watching you with our son, it made me see what an amazing woman you are. So, strong, so loving, so beautiful... I just can't –”
Before he could say another word, I kissed him – which surprised us both. His lips felt as nice as they had all those years before, and when his tongue pushed past my lips and into my mouth, it took my breath away – just like it had before.
As hard as it was, I pulled away.
“Stop,” I said, putting my hand on his chest to keep us apart. “We can't do this.”
“You're the one who kissed me,” he said with a smile.
“I know, I'm mainly talking to myself right now.”
Deep breaths, Maya. Deep breaths. I had to step away. I couldn't let my childhood crush get the better of me, not when there was a child in the middle of all this. Reese reached out and stroked my cheek, and I so badly wanted to lean into that touch, but I stayed strong.
“We can't do this, Reese,” I said again. “You, me, it's not going to work.”
“And why not? I mean, we already have a kid together, why can't you and I be together like that? For real?”
“For real? As in girlfriend and boyfriend?” I scoffed. “Because what happens if we break up? What happens if things go south? Right now, we have a nice arrangement that works. We're civil, we get along well enough, we don't hate each other's guts, but what happens if we do this and then it doesn't work out –”
“But what if it does, Maya?” Reese asked. “What if it works out and we get married, and Eli gets the family he deserves?”
“Get married?” I almost couldn't believe I was hearing this from his mouth. I stood up from the couch and paced the room, trying to collect my thoughts – which was a lot like herding cats at that point. “Whoa, I can't even believe you're talking like this. Not that I oppose the idea, in the future of course, but just because we have a kid together doesn't mean we'll make a happy family. That's not how this works, Reese. It's not that simple.”
“And why can't it be?” Reese stood up as well, walking over, putting his hands on my shoulders and stopping me from pacing the room once more.
“Because – well, because –”
“Because – I'm me? Because I'm a loser like your brother?”
“No, that's not what I meant! You're nothing like him. You're –” I stammered, trying to find the words.
“I'm what, Maya?” Reese asked, raising his voice.
“You're better than him. You've always been better than him. It's just – I don't want you to be with me just for Eli. Or because you think you're doing the right thing and feel obligated. We don't have to force anything, Reese.”
“I'm not forcing anything, Maya. I care about you; I think you're amazing and I want to make this work. I mean it.”
Reese was still holding onto my arm, but he loosened his grip. I could walk away if I wanted to. I could tell him to get lost if I wanted to. But I wanted neither of those things. Truth be told, what I wanted in that moment was him. It was stupid and selfish and childish, but I wanted to be with him again. This time, for real.
After several moments of silence, I looked into his eyes and say the truth in his words. It put cracks in the walls of my fear and insecurity. And those cracks in my walls finally let me speak.
“I want that too,” I said softly. “I do.”
“Then let's do it, Maya. Let's try it,” Reese said. “Let's make this work.”
He pulled me into him and held me close, my head resting on his chest. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head as he spoke.
“Back then, I was a stupid kid,” he started. “But my time in LA forced me to grow up, forced me to see that I couldn't keep living like that. I realized that I needed to get my life together or else I'd end up on the streets one day. And that's why I came back here. I didn't expect to find you or Eli or any of this, but honestly, it's exactly what I needed right now. I need you in my life, Maya. I want you in my life. And not just because you're the mother of my child, but because you're good for me. You make me want to be a better man.”
I looked up and found him staring down at me, the shadow of a smile on his lips. I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his once more, and this time, I didn't stop.
We made our way into my bedroom, trying our hardest to be quiet as we walked past Eli's room. And as soon as we were alone, Reese kissed me, long and hard as he held me close. I worked at his pants as he worked at mine, and we were both undressed before either of us had even drawn a breath.
Reese pushed
me down onto my bed, but I resisted. I was no longer the meek, inexperienced girl I had been before – time had changed me in a lot of ways. I pushed him over, forcing my way on top of him. I pressed my body into him as I kissed him, rubbing my pussy all over his cock, remembering the way he'd felt inside of me all those years ago.
Reese's hands cupped my breasts and he took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it long and hard, sending shivers down my spine. I rubbed myself against him, rubbing my clit over his stiff cock while he explored my body with his hands and mouth.
Taking him in my hand, I gripped him tightly as I guided him into me, lowering my body onto him as I stared deeply into his eyes. Unlike the first time we were together, it didn't hurt. There was no pain as he spread me open – only pleasure as he filled me up. His hands grabbed onto my ass and held me in place, allowing our bodies to adjust to being united. He pulled me down so our lips met once more as we kissed deeply. Passionately. I rocked on top of him, riding him slowly at first, enjoying the sensation of him being inside of me again after so long.
“Maya, Maya,” he whispered into my ear. “Oh God, Maya.”
This wasn't the frantic fucking of years ago, this was of two adults making love. And we were trying to be as quiet as possible because unlike before, we had a little boy sleeping in the next room. But God, it was so hard to not call out Reese's name, as our bodies found a nice, solid rhythm and pleasure washed over the both of us.
But even Reese managed to keep his groans quieter, and as I felt the first wave of orgasm approaching, I bit my lip, hard. And as I fell forward, spasming with pleasure, I bit Reese's shoulder, shielding the screams that fought to explode from my throat. If it hurt or he minded, he didn't show it. Maybe he didn't feel it, as he was in the midst of his climax too. His cock pulsated inside of me, his breathing was ragged.
“I love you, Reese,” I said before I could stop myself. “I've always loved you.”
And as he thrust upward, filling me with his seed, he stared deep into my eyes and said the words I'd wanted to hear for so long, “I love you too, Maya.”
ooo000ooo
The next morning, I awoke to find I was alone in my bed. At first, my heart broke as I wondered if I'd been duped and used. If Reese had only come over and put on a good show to get into my pants again. But then I heard sounds coming from the living room. Eli was laughing. So was Reese.
I threw on some pyjama bottoms and a top and walked down the hallway, where I found Eli hiding behind the curtains and Reese pretending not to be able to find him. The smell of bacon filled the room.
“What's going on in here?” I asked with a laugh. I stared at the clock. It was after eight in the morning. I never slept past eight – not since Eli had been born.
“Oh nothing much,” Reese said. “Just figured you could use the sleep and I heard the little guy moving around in his room, so I made him some breakfast.”
Eli popped his head out from behind the curtain. “He burned the bacon, mama.”
“Shhh,” Reese said. “You weren't supposed to tell her that. Now she won't want to eat any of it.”
Eli giggled maniacally. Reese got up off the floor and walked over to me. He went in for a kiss, but seemed to think better of it, giving a look back at Eli to see if he was watching. Of course, he was.
But I didn't let that stop me. I kissed Reese, just a quick peck, nothing more.
“Thank you for letting me sleep in,” I said.
“You needed it,” he said quietly. “There's some eggs and burnt bacon in the kitchen, I'm happy to make you a plate.”
“Sleeping in and breakfast? A girl could get used to this.”
“Maybe you should,” Reese said, flashing me a smile and wink before heading off into the kitchen.
Amazed by what was happening, I followed behind him and watched as he prepared me a plate. I leaned against the counter, and just stared at him, still trying to decide if this was real or not. And as I realized that yes, this was real, the thought that had been rampaging through my mind for weeks suddenly came flying out of my mouth.
“What do you think about telling Eli you're his father? Are you ready for that?” I asked.
Reese looked surprised as he handed me a plate. And yes, the bacon was badly burnt – black and crisp – but I wasn't one to complain about breakfast I didn't have to make.
“The real question is – are you?”
“Yeah,” I said, taking a bite of the charred bacon. “I think so. As long as you're ready, so am I.”
“Then let's do it,” he said.
Of course, there was more than just telling Eli. We needed to break the news to my parents too. All these years, they had no idea I knew who my son's father was – and now I was coming clean. I was admitting the truth. Or at least, I would be, once I worked up the nerve.
We picked a family dinner, as was only fitting in my mind, to break the news. But before that, we made a point of sitting down with Eli. It went easier than I thought, but mainly because he was, after all, only a toddler and didn't quite comprehend the news the same way my parents would. Which was good. It meant he'd grow up with early memories of his father, of knowing who he was. Reese missed a few years, but not too many.
“So Eli,” I said as we sat on the floor of the living room with him, “you know how I have a mommy and daddy?”
“Yes,” he said, not looking entirely interested in anything I had to say.
Reese sat across from me, and we shared a look. This was it. This was the moment.
“Well, you know you have a mommy already –”
“You!” he said, pointing at me with a smile. “You're my mommy.”
“Yes, Eli,” I said with a laugh. “I'm your mommy. But did you know you also had a daddy?”
The little boy cocked his head and looked confused. His eyes were wide as he looked back at me, almost like I was speaking a foreign language.
“Reese isn't just mommy's friend,” I said. “He's also your daddy.”
Eli's eyes grew even wider as they went from looking at me to staring at Reese, then back at me.
Reese took this moment to speak up. “Do you know what that means?”
Eli shook his head and stared down at the floor, tracing something with his fingers. But I knew he was listening.
Reese continued. “It means that you have two people who care for you, Eli. Two parents who love you and will always be there for you. Who will do anything for you.”
That made my heart explode in my chest. All the warm and fuzzy feelings came rushing to the surface as I wiped away tears of joy from my eyes. All these years, I'd raised Eli alone. Sure, he had his grandma and grandpa, but he didn't have a mom and a dad. It was hard trying to be both for him. And whether I liked to admit it or not, that bothered me. To know my child would grow up without a father bothered me a lot more than I realized until that moment. Knowing that he had us both thought, there with him, no matter what happened between Reese and myself – well, that meant a lot. More than I could possibly express.
“And,” Reese continued, reaching out and taking my hand in his, “it means your momma doesn't have to do all this alone, because I love her too.”
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined something so perfect. My life may not have turned out the way I had planned, but that was okay. Because it was starting to turn into something that was pretty damn amazing anyway. Unexpected, of course. But amazing all the same.
ooo000ooo
Family dinner, a few weeks later. This time it was me asking if someone could join us.
“Seriously, Maya,” my mom said, shaking her head at me, “You've always been on my side on this. It's family dinner, not a time for friends or anyone not part of this family –”
“Just this once, mom,” I said, trying to maintain my composure. “You always let Luke have his friends over. This one is a special friend. It's important to me.”
I'd never pushed the issue before, not like my brother, and I knew my m
om knew that. Maybe it was the determined look in my eye or perhaps my old mom wasn't as stubborn as she liked to appear, but her face softened slightly.
“Okay. Just this once,” she said. “I suppose it couldn't hurt.”
I hugged her, held her tight. “Thank you,” I said.
She had no idea about the announcement I'd be making. She had no idea that in a way, the person I was bringing over for dinner was family – but that was all about to change. And the knot in my stomach, as well as the feeling of nausea that was sweeping over me only reinforced that fact.
I let Reese know it was okay, and he said he'd be there, right before dinner. He had some errands to run first, and honestly, I was relieved for the extra time to mentally prepare myself for the revelation. I had a feeling it was going to be a rough, emotional night.
As the clock ticked closer and closer to dinner time, I began to worry when Reese hadn't arrived. Was he chickening out? Was he not coming? Had he ditched us? No, Reese wouldn't do that. He wouldn't go back to his old ways. I saw in his eyes that he'd meant what he'd been telling me about changing and being part of our lives. I'd believed him when he'd told me that he loved me. He wouldn't do this to me – would he?
“Who's the friend?” Luke asked, leaning against the kitchen counter where I was standing, staring out the back window and praying for Reese's car to pull into the driveway. “Finally get yourself a boyfriend. Or maybe a girlfriend?”
I rolled my eyes. Luke had no idea what was happening, and he was probably going to be the most surprised of all to see his former best friend walk through that door. Especially when he found out that Reese wasn't there for him – but for me.
“You'll meet him soon enough,” I said.
Inwardly, I smiled. Luke was going to flip out when he found out the truth. He was going to lose his mind to learn that I was the mother of his much cooler friend's child. That yes, his friend actually liked me, even though Luke liked to tease me about how Reese would never, ever be with someone like me.
