by Mia Ford
“It wouldn’t have worked out between us anyway. If Julia is the type of woman that you are attracted to then I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of being with you.” I heard his voice when I was dreaming and I woke up sweaty and clinging to the sheets for dear life. I was trying to figure out if his interest in me was more than physical. Did he really want me, or was it more that he couldn’t have me?
“I’m a little bit different from other men. My tastes don’t necessarily revolve around women of a certain size. If I see something I like, I tend to jump feet first without thinking about it. With you, I saw that I wanted to find a way to seal the deal between us. You carry yourself with confidence and yet I feel sometimes that you’re struggling with your identity. It’s that vulnerability and strength combined that is hard for me to ignore.” My hands were kneading his muscles and massaging away the pain that he was going to feel from the breakup.
“I can honestly say that I didn’t know that you felt that way. If we could go back to when we first met, I might’ve been able to see through your callous ways. You must have been hiding the real August underneath the way that you chased after me.” I was giving him the idea that I was open to the possibility of something more. I wasn’t exactly coming out and saying it, but the underlying meaning was there.
“There are many paths that we take in life and sometimes we veer off to come back to that same one over again. I don’t want to give you any false promises. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. There are times that Julia’s talking to me and the only thing that I can think about is you. I know that it’s not right and I should be with her body and soul. I know that I have to finish this with Julia, but do you think that we can talk about us after. I can come over and we can have a cup of coffee and see where things go.” My plan had worked better than I had envisioned.
“The one thing that I don’t want to be for you is that rebound girl. You need to decide if you really want this to work between us. If you can honestly say to yourself that you don’t just want to have sex with me then come over and we can build on that.” We had opened the lines of communication and it was possible that I was going to have him knocking on my door.
He turned quickly, knocking me off balance by swiveling his chair and making me fall in his lap. I squirmed for a moment, but then I settled in with my legs over the arms of the chair. I put both hands on his face, gliding my fingertips over the bristles of his stubble and loving the rough look.
“I really thought the idea of the both of us being together was a dead issue. I feel you on top of me and the heat of your body is causing me to react. You can tell that I’m happy to have you right here in this position. I would love to do more, but I don’t think that I can.” I thought for a moment that he was suffering from some sort of erectile dysfunction. “I mean… I can, but it’s not fair to Julia. I haven’t even told her that it’s time for us to see other people.” This was the kind of man that I could see myself with for more than the fleeting chance of pleasure between the sheets.
“It would be better that you go before I decide to take that decision out of your hands.” I got up reluctantly, brushing my fingertips over his lips and then standing awkwardly like I was going to fall on the cushion of my ass.
“I promise that I will be there tonight. I don’t know what time it will be, but keep a light on for me.” I was giddy with anticipation as the door closed like that one chapter of my life.
I thought that I was dreaming. The conversation seemed so surreal that it was almost like I had manifested it in my head. I looked around and I knew where I was that. I pinched myself and still I didn’t bolt straight up in bed disappointed.
I wasn’t sure how to prepare for his arrival. I didn’t know when he was going to show up, but that anticipation of what was to come was in the air. There was no denying that if he were to make a pass that I would fall into his arms and show him that I was agiler than I looked. That I could still bend myself certain ways that would make me look like a pretzel.
“I’m guessing that you want me to make myself scarce tonight. I’m glad to see that you were finally able to talk to him. I know that your intention was to manipulate him and on some level, you did, but for the most part, this decision was his own. He needed you to remind him of a few certain details that he wasn’t aware of.” Gemini was in a downward dog position on the floor. I had followed her into that same position and I think that we both surprised ourselves that we could still do this.
“I used my position in his life to find out some things that changed his perspective. I helped Julia to realize that her dream was not to be a doctor. I know that without me that they would still be together, but I doubt that they would have been very happy. Surviving the dating world is not easy for anyone. There are times that we become complacent and end up with someone that is not truly compatible with us. You and I both know that jumping back into something that is familiar is like putting on an old pair of socks.” I thought about my past and the few men that were supposed to be the one.
“Amanda, life is not worth living if you’re not doing something that you love. Julia was stuck on the notion that her family was right. She didn’t have any say in her own future. You helped her to see that she was only pleasing them and not herself. You may have played armchair therapist to the both of them, but in the long run, they will be better off for it. Trust me; I’ve been in relationships where nobody wanted to cut that cord because it was going to be too painful. It’s better to do it as soon as possible or those things that drive you crazy about that person are only going to get on your last nerve. There will be that final straw.” Gemini was wearing blue spandex pants and a sports bra that really didn’t hide what she was given an abundance of.
“I know that this is best for the both of them. It doesn’t make me feel very good about my role in it. I never thought for one moment that I would be some kind of home wrecker. If it was meant to be, I don’t think that there would be anything that I could say that would tear them apart. I let them see the writing on the wall. She’s been determined to make him wait on principle alone. I think that she kept him from going too far because she wasn’t sure that he was the right man for her.” I wanted to convince myself that what I had done was right, but that growing pang of guilt in my stomach was telling me differently.
“I told you that you were only going after him because of your need to have him when you knew that you couldn’t. I’m going to rephrase that. I think that you have always wanted him, but like Julia you were hesitant to see past his bad boy ways. We all want that bad boy, but we are foolish to think that we can really change them. Maybe in this one instance, the man that you claim to be a skirt chaser has found somebody worthy enough to drop the pretense of going after anything with two legs.” Gemini had made her point very clear. I just didn’t know that he was a good man.
“I still can’t believe that this is happening. I keep thinking that it’s an April fool’s joke, but it’s not April. It’s my dream come true. I just feel that somebody’s going to come around to bust my bubble of excitement. You know that I actually went out and bought something scandalous to blow his mind. I don’t even know that I should show you. It really does send a very descriptive message about what I want.” I held the pose, breathing through my nose and out of my mouth. I contracted my core and really felt the burn.
“You have definitely got me curious and there’s no way that I’m leaving until I see it on you. I need you to go into your bedroom and then come out and give me a preview. I want to see just how far you’re willing to go to get your man. There’s no time like the present.” I wanted her to see it and give me her opinion. It was a red and black widow outfit with the garters and bustier to match the ensemble. I even had a pair of sheer stockings that gave my legs that smooth look like he would want to climb with his fingertips up to the heaven awaiting him.
I went into my bedroom and put it on. I looked in the mirror and I really didn’t recogniz
e the eyes looking back at me. There was that desire for August and wearing this was giving me a license to play the naughty card. If this didn’t make him willingly follow me to the bedroom, then I had no idea what would.
I opened the door and I went back into the room feeling a little exposed. I had ruffled my hair giving it that fuck me look.
“I know that it’s a bit much, but it seemed to beg me to buy it from the window. It’s not even a shop that I would frequent. I would be embarrassed if anybody saw me going in and coming back out.” She gave me an appreciative whistle and then she circled me while I stood there wondering what she was going to say.
“If I hadn’t have seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. You look like you are ready to give this man the time of his life. Those panties do very little to hide anything. I would keep this wrapped up. Make him wait for it and then spring it on him when he least expects it. Use the ruse of going to freshen up and then come out wearing only this. Start off with something more casual like a pair of old sweats that will give him the illusion that nothing’s going to happen. See the disappointment in his eyes and then change all of that with the way that you open the door and give him a reason to crawl to you on his hands and knees.” I just thought that I would open the door when he knocked wearing this outfit and let him decide what he was going to do about it.
Gemini’s suggestion was mulling around in my head and it seemed too delicious to pass up. “I like that idea and I might just steal that for my own purposes. I don’t want to keep you from anything that you need to do. What I mean by that is that I don’t think that it’s a good idea that you’re here when he stops by. I’m sure that you can find something to do or somebody to do.” She smiled at my comment and took out this little black book that had these names of former conquests with the ratings of up to four stars by each name.
“I have a couple of ideas. It’s funny, but the idea of a booty call is something that is a double standard. We can show up at any hour of the day or night and they would gladly open their arms to us. If they do the same thing, we think that they have lost their mind and slam the door in their faces. It’s only in that rare instance that we are as horny as they are when they come looking for some.” I watched as she got ready, putting on her war makeup and looking like a dish best served piping hot.
“I would say that you can come back tonight, but I think that it might be better that you find someplace else to sleep. I’m liable to make some noise that will keep you up. You may not know this about me, but I can be quite vocal when a man knows what he’s doing. You’d be surprised at how many times that I have to direct them to get me there. I don’t think that I’m going to have that same problem with August.” I put on my sweats and you wouldn’t know it from looking at me that there was something lurking underneath the surface.
“Trust me, I’ll find somebody to spend my time with. I think that I’ll start by going to a late supper and see if I can’t get somebody’s eye from across the room. If that doesn’t work, I still have two guys in this little black book that is available for a one night stand. They both know that I’m not looking for any commitment and they are perfectly fine with that. I really did think that emotions were going to play into it, but so far we’ve been able to keep it strictly physical. Hmm…it might be time to introduce the both of them. Can you say Ménage a Trois?” She gave me a hug, telling me that I was a lucky girl and that I shouldn’t take August for granted.
I escorted her to the door and I closed it behind her with my whole-body vibrating. There was no way that I was going to take care of that myself not when it was a possibility that I would have somebody else to do that for me.
I perused several old magazines; channel surfed and found absolutely nothing that was going to keep my attention for any longer than a few minutes. I kept looking at the clock and the sound of the ticking was driving me insane. Every time that I thought that I heard a noise, I would rush to the window and see if my paramour had come calling. I was turning into a basket case, running through the scenarios that might happen and knowing that I would never be able to come close to reality.
I heard what sounded like a car door slamming. I thought that it might be my neighbor Jensen coming home from a late-night shift at the call center. I heard the footsteps approaching and then the light and unassuming knock on the door. My heart stopped for one moment. I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to get up to answer him.
I decided not to put on any perfume and I didn’t want him to have the idea that I was ready for more than a conversation. I stepped over to where the only thing that was separating the both of us was the door.
I opened it and was accosted with a dozen long stem roses. I wasn’t much into flowers as a sign of a romantic gesture, but it seemed to work for the occasion.
“I know that this is a bit cheesy, but I saw them and I thought of you.” I made the motion for him to pass through the threshold wondering if one day that he was going to carry me over it as a sign of our matrimonial bliss. I was getting ahead of myself and I hadn’t even mentioned the elephant in the room.
“I have coffee brewing and I thought that you could use it.” I was alluding to the fact that he had just done something painful and the caffeine would give him the jolt of energy that he would need to stand strong
“I arranged for us to meet at the restaurant that we first had dinner together. I didn’t get a chance to say anything and she went into a speech about needing to find herself. I didn’t interrupt and I let her continue until there was only one thing left to do. It was a mutual decision and we promised to still be friends. She told me that she didn’t feel that it was right for me to wait for her or to follow her if my heart wasn’t into it. She wants me to find somebody that is worthy of the changed man that I have become. She actually told me that you were a nice girl and that I should give you a chance.” I was stunned into silence by how Julia had talked me up.
I heard the whistle of the pot and I turned and strolled back to the kitchen. He followed while taking off his jacket and showing the heavy burden that had been lifted from his shoulders. Those were the kind of manly shoulders that could easily be used to carry me into the boudoir.
“It sounds to me like you both had the same idea. I’m assuming from the way that you came here that you are interested in seeing if we have something. I don’t mind telling you that I was jealous of Julia.” I poured him a cup and he took it and placed it up against his lips. There was nothing to say or do. I sat there and let him drink and stare at me with wanderlust in his eyes.
“There hasn’t been a day that has gone by since we’ve met that I haven’t thought about you. It doesn’t matter if it’s dreaming or in the shower or even when we are working so close together that I can smell your natural scent hitting me like a sledgehammer between the eyes. You’ve already expressed some interest in pursuing this. Is that still true, or should I go before we do something that is going to hurt our working relationship?” There was really only one way to answer and it came in the form of me putting down my cup and taking his hand.
“I have thought of nothing else. Let me freshen up and I just finished working out with my friend. I’m not exactly ready for company.” I didn’t make it sound like I was dressing for a night of passion. I wanted him to be totally floored by the vision that was going to step from the bedroom. “Finish your coffee and I won’t be more than a couple of minutes.” I passed by him and I stopped long enough to give him a light and noncommittal kiss on the lips. It was just a taste. Like a drug dealer, the first one was free, but the rest was going to have to come with more of a long-term promise.
I could literally feel him watching me as I walked away. I purposely put an extra swing to my hips to give him ideas.
I went into my bedroom, closed the door and pushed back against it with my heart thumping so hard that I thought it was going to leap from my chest. My hands were shaking as I peeled off the sweater to reveal the red and black busti
er. I pulled down my sweat pants revealing the garter and the sheer hose not to mention the panties that I would love to see him pull off with his teeth.
I found my favorite lipstick and painted my lips with a color that was going to draw him to me like a moth to a flame. I felt ready. I didn’t feel like he was just here to plant his flag. He wanted something more substantial than one night where we would throw our bodies at one another for hours on end.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for the moment where he would find it useless to fight me. I opened the door and I stepped out looking towards the kitchen and then I found him with his eyes glued to me.
He said nothing, as he put down his cup and walked over to me. I nuzzled my cheek against his hand. I looked at him and I saw that the man that I wanted was ready to commit to one woman.
“I… I… I was expecting this. I have to say that I’m pleasantly surprised. I hope that I don’t disappoint you. I never want to hurt you purposely. I don’t want you to wake up in the morning wondering what we have done. This will be the first time that I stayed the night and didn’t try to sneak out after the woman went to sleep. I want to stay for breakfast.” This was a bold claim to make and one that I was going to hold him to.
“I’m a little nervous. No… I’m a lot nervous. These last few weeks have made me want you even more. If it took you that long to become the man that I know you can be then I have no regrets. I want to touch you and explore your body from the top of your head down to your toes. I want to take my time to find all of those hidden areas on your body that you didn’t even know about.” I saw that hunger in his eyes and I wanted him to devour me and make me feel like I was the only woman in the world.
