His heart pounds in his chest, full of betrayal and longing. He doesn’t know what he should do. If he should do anything at all. Felix had smelled purely himself, no markings from anyone, the cuff of his jacket pulled over his scar. Have you been alone? Did anyone else mark you? Why did you return?
The questions flood Kade’s mind. He concentrates on following the fuchsia line of the GPS, trying not to think about Felix’s legs open around him, trying not to think about pulling his omega close, sliding his hand inside his pants. If Felix is anywhere near the same person as the one Kade knew, he’d enjoy that.
He pushes the thoughts out of his head, the wind skimming along his helmet, and rides through twisting roads, into a part of town with smaller, shoddier houses.
The house the GPS leads him to is tiny, windows bare, no lights on at the front door. The headlight illuminates the broken front porch. Kade pulls into his driveway, turning off the ignition. A rat scurries through the bushes. He pushes his visor up, twisting slightly in his seat. “This your new place?”
“Yeah.” Felix tenses, then slips off the bike, his paper bag crinkling in his hands. He tugs at the buckle under his chin. “I won’t be here for long, though.”
Kade climbs off his bike, turning to look him over. The moment he does, Felix’s scent slams into him like a wave, heady and musky. It winds fingers into his instincts and hauls, and in three seconds, he triggers Kade’s rut. Kade’s heart pounds. His blood surges down, and he’s rock-hard in his pants before he thinks, You’re in heat?
Felix’s throat works. He looks away, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Do you... want a drink? I’ve got tea and water inside.”
“Yeah.” His voice comes out gravelly. Kade doesn’t even know where he’s finding his words, when he’s staring at the hard line in Felix’s pants, the shadows it casts from the weak streetlights. It makes him leak, and he needs to feel Felix against him, needs to mark him with his scent. “Didn’t think I was thirsty.”
He can’t help looking at Felix’s wrist again, but it’s hidden behind a thick wool sleeve. So he follows Felix to the front door, breathing him in, the fresh sweat in his hair, the musk of his body, the sweet, sharp tang of his arousal.
Felix’s key trembles against the keyhole. His nostrils flare, too, and Kade knows what he smells, sees the way his throat works. “I’ll get you something to drink. Just... just make yourself at home.”
The door opens, welcoming them like a refuge. Kade follows him past the stacks of sealed cardboard boxes, Felix’s footsteps loud in his ears. Felix taps the switch, and warm light bounces off his golden hair, lights up his green eyes. He looks away, his lips glistening, his throat pale. Kade knows he shouldn’t be touching this man. Felix made it clear that Kade wasn’t good enough, and that memory still stings.
So Kade follows him to the empty kitchen, his body quivering with need, his boxers damp. With Felix’s back turned, he reaches into his shirt, tugs off the chain around his neck, barely glancing at the silver ring on it before shoving it into his jean pocket. Then he pulls his jacket open, so it won’t be so damn hot inside.
“I have tea,” Felix says, his voice lowering by a notch. He glances at Kade from the corner of his eye, his gaze flickering down Kade’s chest, to the tent in his pants. Felix’s breath rushes out of him. “Or... or water. Or coffee. Whatever you want.”
Kade swallows. “What if I want something else?”
“We’ll find a solution for it,” Felix says. He lifts his chin to expose his throat. Taste me, Kade reads, and he’s crossing the five feet between them, curling his hand around Felix’s narrow waist, dipping his head to mesh their lips together.
Felix tastes the same, like lavender. Kade groans into his mouth, brushing his lips over Felix’s, and he stops thinking. He slips a hand down Felix’s chest, pulling his jacket open, rubbing his hard nipples. Felix moans, hips bucking.
Kade slides against his tongue, smoothing his hand down Felix’s abdomen to his cock. Felix’s breath hitches. He presses heavily into Kade’s palm, so hard it’s as though he hasn’t fucked anyone in years. Kade growls. Felix tastes the same, like nothing has changed. Kade rucks his shirt up, dragging his hand down Felix’s back, down his chest, grinding the scent gland at his wrist against Felix’s skin. He wants Felix to smell like him, wants everyone to know Felix is his, even though Felix hasn’t been for years.
His omega writhes. Kade shoves him up against the wall, his need spiking when Felix groans softly, his hands coming up to tug at his own pants. Kade knocks his hands away, hooks a thumb into his waistband. He wants to pleasure Felix, see the way Felix craves his touch.
Felix gulps, panting when Kade kisses along his jaw, down his throat, sucking lightly. Kade licks over his pulse, feels the way it jumps against his tongue. He kisses down the base of Felix’s throat, where his scent gland is, and drags his teeth against it.
Felix cries out. He tugs Kade’s shirt free, flattening his hands against his bare abs. Then he reaches down to squeeze Kade’s cock, and pleasure hums in his body. “Kade,” he breathes, his voice low and rasping. “Kade, please.”
“Please what?” Kade presses him harder against the wall, pushes his hand down Felix’s pants, barely squeezing it in. His fingers brush over the smooth, damp length of his cock. Felix throws his head back, his tip smearing against Kade’s palm. Kade throbs, the pressure at his groin spiking.
“Bedroom,” Felix hisses, rutting against his hand, his musk so thick that Kade can almost drink it. And so Kade grinds his wrist against Felix’s cock, marking him with his scent, dragging his wrist down to his groin, over his hips. “Need—need you inside.”
He growls, hearing those words. Kade wraps his arms around Felix’s smaller frame, hefts him up by his ass, and his fingers press into the damp fabric of Felix’s jeans. You’re so damn wet. Felix spreads his thighs, wraps his arms around Kade’s shoulders, and for a breathless moment, all Kade wants to do is heft him against the wall and push inside him, just like that.
“D’you have a condom?” Kade asks. “Don’t wanna knock you up. That’ll be a mess.”
Felix winces, and Kade regrets asking. He doesn’t want to remind Felix about the past.
“I don’t,” Felix says, his forehead wrinkling. “I—I’m on BC.”
So Kade drags Felix down his chest, the bulge of Felix’s pants rubbing against his abs, along his cock. Felix trembles, his jeans drenching through. Kade swears. He finds the bedroom, flicks the light on, and throws Felix onto the bed, pulling their shoes off, then Felix’s pants.
Felix squirms, lifting his hips to help. The moist, heavy scent of his arousal swamps over Kade. His cock throbs in his pants, and he flings Felix’s jeans to the side, grasping his pale, thin thighs, pinning them apart to lap between his glistening cheeks.
It’s been five years since Kade last saw him, and Felix still tastes the same; salty, musky. Kade flicks his tongue against his damp hole, the ring of muscle rough against his tongue. Then he pushes inside that tight heat to taste him. Felix’s strangled cry fills the corners of the room. He squirms against Kade, cock straining. Kade licks up his soft balls, sniffing at their musk, before lapping along his cock, his nostrils flaring at his own cedar scent on Felix, the way Felix’s cock smells like his.
Pulsing, Kade crawls up the bed, straddling him, tugging Felix’s shirt and jacket up over his head. Felix slips out of them, naked beneath him, his skin pale, his cock leaking onto his abdomen. He looks so vulnerable.
Kade tosses his clothes to the side, gaze trailing over the growing flush on Felix’s chest, down his thin arms, to the teeth-shaped scar on Felix’s wrist, left from a smaller jaw an age ago. You haven’t belonged to anyone else, Kade thinks, and triumph roars in his chest, chasing through his limbs.
Felix turns his wrist against the bed, looking away.
But he can’t hide the fact that no one else has claimed him. Kade shrugs out of his clothes, his breath puffing through his nose. Felix’s e
yes rake over his chest, down his abs, to his thick, heavy cock. He squirms, spreading his legs, relaxing his hole.
The moment Kade is just as naked, he climbs atop his omega, kissing him deep. Felix accepts him into his mouth, his hands fluttering up Kade’s sides, tracing him with his own scent. It feels like acceptance, somehow. Kade grinds their cocks together, leaking precum onto Felix’s skin, slicking them both. Felix mewls.
It isn’t enough. Kade rubs their bodies together, chest-to-chest, his hands smoothing over Felix’s back, down his arms, marking along his sides. He drips, just having Felix in his arms again, smelling like he’s his.
Mine, he almost growls, but he swallows it, pushing his cock against Felix’s, licking into his mouth, claiming his mate again. And Felix arches against him, nails biting into his shoulders, throwing his head back so Kade sucks on his throat, trailing slow, wet kisses down to his scent gland.
He sinks his teeth into it. Felix shudders, his breath rushing out. “Kade,” he gasps, spreading his legs, rutting up at him. “Inside, please.”
Kade pries himself off just enough to flip Felix over, onto his knees, pushing his legs apart to expose his hole. “What do you want in here?” he rasps, rubbing his thumb down Felix’s ass, wedging it between his cheeks. Felix gasps. Kade circles his hole, reaching down to fondle his balls, stroke his flushed, straining cock. Felix moans, pushing into his hand, leaving a trail of precum along his palm. “One finger?”
“No,” Felix says, rocking against his palm. Kade grasps the skin hooding his tip, pulling it down to expose that pink, gleaming head. Felix gasps. Kade strokes over the sensitive tip of his cock, again and again, until Felix squirms, dripping onto his fingers, his limbs trembling. “Oh, gods, Kade.”
“Tell me what you want,” Kade says, dragging his fist down Felix’s cock, pumping him slow.
Felix shudders, his back arching, his thighs spreading further, trails of slick streaking down their insides. “Your cock. Please. Fuck me with it.”
The catch in his breath makes Kade pulse. He growls, crawling over Felix, chest to back, fitting his cock against Felix’s ass. Felix trembles against him, pushes his ass up high to lodge him between his cheeks. And so Kade grinds deeper, against his hole. Felix moans under him. “Here?”
“Fill me, please,” Felix gasps. Kade groans, dragging his cock against him to smear it with slick. He reaches down, pushes two fingers into Felix’s hot, tight hole, before wiping that slick over his own cock. Then he fits his tip against Felix’s hole, feels the way it gives under him, the way Felix stretches to take him, and he fucks in slow and hard, pushing all the way to his hilt.
Felix shudders, his ass snug around Kade. Kade can’t think for a full minute. All he feels is the heat of Felix’s body, the way Felix rolls his hips back, pushing up at him for more. He shoves in deep, building a momentum that sends Felix’s back arching, makes his nails dig into the mattress.
“Kade, Kade,” he moans, and when Kade reaches around to touch him, Felix’s cock is so hard it has to hurt. He needs me. Kade thrusts in deeper, fitting every inch inside, and it feels like he’s coming home, when Felix trembles and rides his cock desperately, his breathing short, sharp pants. Kade slings an arm against his sweat-slicked chest, rolls his hips to pull out, then fuck back in. Felix gasps, his cock dripping.
Their bodies meet over and over, Felix tensing beneath him, his cock taut as Kade strokes him again. He likes this, Kade thinks, and the thought hurls him over the edge. Pleasure rips through his body like a tidal wave, and he jolts, pumping his cum into Felix.
He tightens his fist around Felix’s cock, stroking hard, pushing him over the edge. A ragged cry tears from his omega’s throat. Felix jerks against him, pulsing, spurting cum all over his mattress, sheets fisted in his hands. Kade presses his forehead to Felix’s back, memorizing his broken moan, the way Felix’s skin clings to his body, the way they fit so well together.
It’s only when he feels himself start to swell that he rolls his hips, to pull away before his knot forms inside Felix. They aren’t ready for that yet. They haven’t talked in five years.
Felix closes his fingers around Kade’s wrist. Stay.
And Kade hesitates, his pulse stuttering. Sex with your bonded mate is far different from fucking anyone else. Above their familiarity, above the way their bodies mesh, mating with his omega feels like intimacy, like a promise.
I swore an oath to you when we bonded, Kade thinks, closing his eyes. He slides back in, blood pumping into the base of his cock. Felix stretches around him, locked against his body, and he hisses with pleasure. What did I do wrong? Why did you really leave?
Beneath him, Felix pants, the blond mop of his hair a mess. Kade breathes in the lavender of his scent, finding the constellation of scars across his shoulders; marks he left years back, when they were younger, and Felix had laughed and threaded his fingers through his hair.
He scoops Felix flush against him, rolling them onto their sides. Felix sighs. Kade buries his nose in his hair, savoring his presence.
He doesn’t know if Felix will leave again, and he can’t make him stay. Part of him feels like a failure, unable to keep his omega by his side.
His hand slips down toward Felix’s wrist, and Kade catches himself. He wants to touch that bonding mark. He shouldn’t. They haven’t made up yet—this was only something they did to resolve Felix’s heat, and the rut it triggered in himself. He thinks about the ring in his jeans pocket, trailing his fingers down Felix’s side instead. Then he caresses Felix’s abdomen, thinking it’s not as intimate as touching Felix’s bonding mark, or his chest.
It isn’t enough if I say sorry, is it?
Felix keeps silent. They breathe together, their heartbeats synchronizing, Felix a bundle of warmth and comfort in Kade’s arms. When his knot recedes, Kade slips out. Felix tips his head back, a tiny smile on his mouth. Kade’s breath catches.
This time, when he pulls away, Felix doesn’t beg him to stay. He keeps still on his side. Kade pulls his clothes on, the rustle of fabric loud in the room. It smells like sweat and sex in here, like afternoons from their past, and Kade breathes it deep into his lungs. “I’m leaving now,” he says.
Felix nods, a bare movement of his head. He looks at the far wall.
When he shuts the front door behind him, it feels as though Kade’s leaving a part of himself behind, all over again.
3
Felix
Felix wakes the next morning feeling like utter crap.
The curtains are too thin. The heater is cranked too high. The bed sheets are too rough. His ass is sore, and when he relaxes, thick fluid oozes from his hole.
He frowns, reaching down. His heat makes him drip thin, colorless slick, and... The smear on his fingers is a pearly white.
The memories from last night slam back into him: Kade bending him over, his cock thick against Felix’s ass, his blunt tip pushing in. Kade, his teeth dragging sharp against Felix’s throat. Kade, filling him up, knotting inside him. Felix lingers on the sensations of being stretched, the way Kade fucks him like no one else can.
It makes his body flush with warmth, makes him hard. When he pushes his fingers inside, he finds more of Kade’s cum, thick and sticky.
He groans, turning over in his bed, grinding against his sheets. He fucks into his hand, but it’s nothing like Kade’s callused palm stroking down his cock. He’s had other lovers over the years, of course, but none of them had enticed him to return, and Kade... Kade had driven the breath from his lungs, made him come so hard his vision blurred.
Felix climaxes with a hoarse cry, spilling onto his sheets. He huffs into his pillow, wipes his hands off on the bed, and slowly gathers his thoughts.
His heat feels better today. It lingers as a faint warmth in his limbs, a low throb in his belly. Last night had helped, and so had the semen Kade left inside him. The bedroom smells like pine and cedar, like the musk of sex. He smells Kade in the sheets, on his skin. Kade had ground his
scent into Felix’s cock. Heat creeps up his cheeks. He hadn’t thought that Kade would want to mark him again.
Felix pulls himself slowly up in bed. He hadn’t seen Kade in years. Kade still looks the same: broad, muscular, his eyes sharp, as though he can see through anything Felix does. As though if he looks hard enough, he’ll see why Felix had tried so hard to flee. Felix gulps, reaching for the water glass on his bedside table.
And there, next to the glass, his birth control pills sit on a stack of notepaper. There are three rows of ten white pills, black marks colored onto three plastic bubbles. He hasn’t taken them in three days.
“I forgot?” Felix whispers, air punching out of his lungs. He glances down at his belly, thinking about the white streaks on his fingers. Kade had asked about condoms last night, and Felix had been positive he’d taken the pills. All he’d had to do was look at the bedside table, but what had he done instead? He’d gone and spread his legs and Kade had knotted inside him.
What if I’m pregnant? It’s not... very possible. He hasn’t been pregnant before. And it’ll take a week before a test confirms anything. “I can’t be pregnant,” Felix says, staring down at his abdomen. “I’m not pregnant. The odds are too big.”
But it had also been his bondmate inside him. The chances with another alpha would be smaller, but it had been Kade, and Kade had filled him thoroughly last night.
He sets his palm gingerly on his belly, staring down at his pale skin. But it’s flat, and there’s nothing to say he’ll be pregnant for sure. How could he have forgotten the pills? First the suppressants, and now the BC. I hate my brain so much.
“I’m not ready for a baby,” Felix says, groaning into his hands. “I can’t be pregnant.”
But what if I am? The thought sends a chill through his stomach. What if Kade’s child is growing inside me?
The bedroom spins around him. If he gets pregnant... if he’s swollen with child and Kade sees... if Kade thinks Felix is back to ruin his life a second time... That’ll be a mess, Kade had said. Kade had never wanted a child, even from before Felix left.
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy Page 2
