Felix shakes his head, pulling away. His hands whisper along Kade’s sides, and he takes a slow step backward. “I’ll get home myself. Thanks.”
“Okay.”
Kade watches as he turns to the bus stop, his footsteps dragging down the sidewalk. But Kade will be seeing his omega tomorrow, taking him to the doctor, and maybe they can salvage a new normal out of this.
33
Kade
They pull into the clinic’s parking lot the next day. Kade turns off the ignition, unbuckling his helmet.
Felix slides off the bike behind him, his eyes wide. “Aren’t you going home?”
“I’m going in with you,” Kade says, checking the time on his phone. They’re minutes early for the appointment—Felix had skipped out from work. “You expect me to leave?”
“I thought you wouldn’t be interested,” Felix mumbles, looking at the pastel pink signboard above the glass doors. His cheeks flush prettily, and Kade can’t help staring at him, at this man he still wishes he could marry.
Instead, he sets the helmets in the trunk, touching the ring in his shirt. “Just making sure everything goes all right.”
“Oh.” Felix trudges to the door, peering through the glass. Kade joins him at the welcome mat and pulls the door open.
Inside, bright posters of babies cover the walls. Plastic mobiles dangle from the ceiling, and teddy bears and baby bottles sit on either end of the receptionist counter. A lullaby plays from the speakers overhead. Kade clenches his jaw, the jealousy in his gut growling again. That child should have been his.
The receptionist smiles up at them, smelling like roses. “Hello. Do you have an appointment with us?”
“Yes. I have an appointment under Felix Henry,” Felix says, his smile brittle. Kade wonders if Felix would rather be alone for this visit. Should he have left instead? “It’s my first time here.”
“Welcome! We’re glad to have you with us,” the receptionist says, handing a clipboard over. “Mr. Henry, could you fill out this form for me? And you’re welcome to bring your husband in with you when you see the doctor.”
Felix tenses, and so does Kade. I wish, Kade thinks, and the thought sits bitter on his tongue.
He nods at the girl, grasping Felix’s elbow lightly to steer him away from the counter. Felix sits woodenly on the sofa next to him. Kade stares at the carpeted floor, instead of the two other couples in the waiting room with them. The scar on his wrist mocks him.
Felix blinks after a minute, clearing his throat. “Sorry about that,” he says, looking at the form. “Maybe... maybe you should leave.”
Kade winces. Why would Felix be sorry that someone thinks they’re husbands? Because Kade had been the one to propose, and Felix had rejected him. “You want me to leave?”
Felix squirms, red creeping up his neck. “I understand if you’d rather not go through this. Things are fine here.”
He’s right. The baby in his belly isn’t Kade’s. But Felix is also his omega, and damn it if Kade isn’t going to sit through this with him. “I’m staying.”
Felix nods awkwardly. He fills in the form, leaving Spousal Info blank. Kade swallows, looking away. It hurts.
When Felix returns the clipboard to the counter, the receptionist glances over the forms. Kade knows exactly when she sees the blanks, because her eyes widen, and she glances at him, blushing. “I’m sorry about earlier, Mr....”
“Brentwood,” he says. Heat washes through his face. Anyone can smell his scent on Felix. And if Felix is pregnant, and Kade isn’t listed as a spouse, well. “It’s fine.”
It still isn’t.
Felix settles on the couch again, his gaze on the floor. “I’m really sorry.”
Kade blows out a breath. “It’s not your fault,” he says. He doesn’t feel like talking about the past right now. “Just a routine check, right?”
Felix sighs. “Yeah.”
And Kade feels sorry again, because Felix doesn’t look excited at all. The other couples seem at ease—two men, a man and a woman—while Felix’s mouth pulls down at the corners, his eyes shadowed.
Carefully, Kade reaches over, touching his palm. Felix doesn’t pull away, but his gaze flickers down. Kade holds his breath, until Felix’s fingers curl gently around his hand. He blows out a sigh. Felix doesn’t mind him being here. “You’re really keeping it,” he murmurs.
Felix nods.
“And you’re not staying in Meadowfall?”
“I... might be here for a few more days.”
Better than none. In a lower tone, Kade says, “Didn’t know you hate this.”
Felix bites his lip. “It’s not... not bad,” he mumbles, trailing his other hand over his belly. “Just lonely.”
And those are the most honest words Kade has heard from him in a while. Those, and the ones he’d said through his tears.
“You’ve got me,” Kade says, immediately wishing he’d shut up instead. Five years ago, Felix had said, You really aren’t good enough, Kade. I need better. How can he assume that he’s worthy now?
Kade breathes out through his nose, looking at the pamphlets of wide-eyed babies.
One of the doors swings open, a nurse in pastel green stepping through. “Mr. Henry!”
“I’m here,” Felix chirps, his fingers squeezing tight around Kade’s. He’s grinning and lying at the same time. And it consoles Kade to know that he can still read this part of his bondmate.
“Please follow me,” the nurse says, her gaze darting from Felix to Kade.
“Want me to come with you?” Kade asks.
Felix hesitates, meeting Kade’s eyes briefly. “If you want. You really don’t have to.”
“I’ll come with you.” Kade trails after them, watching as the nurse measures Felix’s weight and blood pressure. Then she leads them both to a wooden door down the hallway, knocking twice before pushing it open. The room smells like hay.
Dr. Smith smiles at them both, tapping on her keyboard. She shakes their hands. Kade shifts on his feet, feeling out-of-place. Why am I even here?
Because Felix is here, and he needs a source of comfort. Kade settles in the chair next to Felix, so their knees bump together. Felix glances down at their legs, but he doesn’t say anything.
“How are you, Felix?” the doctor says, her eyes warm.
“Good.” Felix smiles a bit, but Kade’s sure that the doctor can tell he doesn’t mean it, either.
“Since this is your first visit, we’ll do the standard tests,” the doctor says. “Urine and blood, as well as an ultrasound to check on the fetus’ progress. Will that be okay?”
Felix nods, his fingers curling into his thigh. The doctor taps on her keyboard, asking about Felix’s medical history, and it’s everything Kade already knows—good health on both his parents’ sides, and no issues to date.
“When was your last heat?” the doctor asks.
Felix tenses, his fingers curling into his knees. He doesn’t look at Kade. “The last week of March.”
Kade remembers that week, remembers Felix beneath him. He shoves thoughts of the baby’s father out of his mind.
The doctor checks the calendar. “So... you’re twenty-two weeks in—just in time for the routine anomaly scan.”
Felix smiles weakly. “Thanks.”
“We’ll do the ultrasound first, then the urine and blood later, since most of those will take some time in the lab. Now, climb onto the exam bed, please. I’ll need you to pull your shirt up over your abdomen, and unzip your pants.”
Kade glances at Felix. He’s thought about Felix’s belly since the revelation, but it’s ironic how the first time he sees Felix’s baby bump is at the doctor’s office, not during one of the many times they’ve fucked. Felix’s fingers curl into the hem of his shirt. He glances in Kade’s direction, red creeping up his neck. Kade doesn’t even know if he wants to see it.
The rolled-out sheet on the bed crinkles when Felix sits on it. His fingers clench and unclench, and Dr. Smith frown
s, stepping over to him. “Are you comfortable with this?”
“Yes,” Felix says, meeting her eyes.
Kade breathes in, a chill swooping down his spine. That was how Felix looked when he said he was on BC. He was lying the entire time, lying here, and he’s not comfortable right now.
He swallows, bitter. Felix has reasons for lying. No point getting angry with him.
Slowly, Felix drags the shirt up, as though he’s battling with himself. Kade gulps. He should look away. Felix isn’t his anymore, and this feels too intimate. He hasn’t seen Felix’s belly in months. Instead of a flat plane, Felix’s abdomen rises up, from his navel to his jeans in a gradual curve. There’s a baby in there, Kade thinks. It’s not mine. It should have been mine.
He glances at Felix’s face, catching the way Felix’s eyes dart away, knuckles clenched white. You don’t want me to see it, Kade realizes, his stomach squeezing. Are you embarrassed about the baby? Is that why you hate the pregnancy?
Kade stands, stepping across the office to the bed. Felix’s eyes widen as though he’s afraid. But Kade curls his hand into Felix’s, squeezing lightly. Felix’s gaze flies to meet his. “You’re fine,” Kade says. “Relax.”
Felix sucks in a shuddering breath. “Okay,” he says, his voice unsteady. “I’ll try.”
Slowly, Felix’s grip loosens. He releases the hem of his shirt, setting his hands by his sides.
Kade looks at his abdomen again. It’s still pale, with a new, darker line from his navel to his briefs. On the wall, a poster of a naked, pregnant woman shows the same line on her belly.
If Kade had seen Felix’s belly constantly, while they were having sex... maybe he wouldn’t even have noticed it swelling.
“Are you feeling better?” the doctor asks, pulling on her gloves. Kade steps back to allow her access, and she settles onto the low stool next to the bed, turning to the darkened computer screen next to it.
“Yes. Thank you,” Felix says, his voice a little warmer. Kade smiles at him, the tension in his shoulders easing when Felix smiles back.
Dr. Smith pulls out a plastic bottle sitting in a machine, snapping its lid open. They watch as she turns it upside-down and squeezes, and a line of clear blue gel oozes onto Felix’s belly. Felix gasps, his eyes growing wide. “It’s warm.”
“I hope it’s helping you relax,” the doctor says, smiling. She replaces the tube in the machine, unhooks the ultrasound scanner from the terminal, before pulling up a program on the computer. Then, she sets the flat end of the scanner against Felix’s abdomen, on the pile of gel, and a speckled black-and-white image appears on the screen.
All Kade has seen are pictures of ultrasounds, rectangles of vast space with a tiny blob in the middle. The lines and spots move on the screen, changing when the doctor tilts the scanner against Felix’s skin. But there’s no disputing the shape in the middle of the ultrasound, the little curled body of a fetus. It’s a baby.
After the disbelief and the shock over the past two days, Kade still hadn’t thought the child was real. He’s seen the bulge of Felix’s belly through his shirt, sure, but part of him has remained skeptical, has hoped that Felix had been lying about having a baby at all.
The image on the screen makes it real. Felix is pregnant, and Kade wishes the child on the screen were his.
On the bed, Felix cranes his neck, looking at the screen the doctor turned to him. His lips pull thin, his face a whirl of emotions. Kade wants to help ease some of Felix’s stress.
“Hello,” Felix murmurs, watching the screen. Then he looks down at his own abdomen, fingers curling, as though he wants to touch his belly. “It’s... nice to finally see you.”
Kade sees the stark curves of its ribs, the thin lines of its arms, and that child is growing in Felix’s abdomen. They’d fucked last week, Kade clueless about this baby. And Felix has been talking to it the entire time.
Through his omega’s uncertainty, Kade glimpses a tiny bit of joy, like a bright spark, and jealousy growls in his body. Felix wants the child. Who did he love more than Kade?
“The fetus appears to be doing well,” Dr. Smith says, checking the baby from different angles. “It’s roughly ten inches from head to heel, which is normal at twenty-one weeks. All curled up, it’s about six inches in your belly.”
Felix stares down at his abdomen, his face contemplative, as though he’s trying to gauge the size of his child. Kade looks down at his own hand—the baby is smaller than that right now.
“Would you like to know its sex?” the doctor asks.
Felix’s gaze darts to Kade’s, then away. He tugs at his pant leg, undecided, and finally shakes his head. Why would Felix look at him? Does he think Kade will have an answer? “No. I’ll find out later on, anyway.”
“Sure.” The doctor zooms in on the ultrasound images, turning the screen away from Felix. Kade guesses she’s checking to see that the baby’s fine.
“Is it safe for me to have sex?” Felix asks in a tiny voice.
Kade’s breath lodges in his throat. Felix is looking at the doctor, not him, but heat crawls up his cheeks anyway. Does Felix want sex with him, or someone else? Because he’s leaving, and... and he probably means someone else. Not Kade. Kade looks away, his chest aching, thinking about stepping out of the room.
Dr. Smith glances at the ultrasound image, then Felix. “Your pregnancy looks to be normal so far, which means sex should be fine all the way until you go into labor. If you experience pain or bleeding at any point, consult a doctor before further anal sex.”
“Okay,” Felix says. He glances at Kade, and Kade can’t read him right now. He doesn’t know if Felix needs anything from him, even if he wants Kade to pull him close, cradle him so he feels safe. “That’s good to know.”
“Would you like to hold the scanner?” the doctor asks, glancing at Felix, then Kade.
Kade winces. Why would he want to touch a baby that isn’t his? It’s half of Felix, but... it still reeks of betrayal. Kade can’t do this.
Felix looks away, his fingers curling into the side of the bed. “I’ll pass this time,” he says, smiling at the doctor. “These pictures on the screen are good enough.”
“Right. We can also print the ultrasound image for a nominal fee,” Dr. Smith says. “Would you like a copy?”
Felix hesitates. “How much is it?”
“Three dollars.”
Felix lowers his gaze, mulling over it.
“We’ll get one,” Kade says, even though his mind reels with thoughts about touching Felix’s belly. “I’ll pay.”
Felix opens his mouth, about to protest, but Kade shrugs. So Felix looks back at his abdomen, nodding. It feels wrong, because Felix wants a photo of a baby that isn’t Kade’s, but that’s his choice.
The doctor talks to Felix about the baby’s progress, lengths and weights and measurements that Kade doesn’t really care about. He looks at the doctor’s desk, the plastic roses in a vase next to her screen.
“Male omegas have a higher risk in pregnancies,” Dr. Smith says.
Kade’s attention snaps to her. “What?”
She meets his eyes. “There are more complications that can arise from male pregnancies,” she says, handing a booklet over to Felix. “But ninety percent of fathers deliver their children with no problems.”
“Oh,” Kade says, her words echoing in his mind. There are risks to this. Why hadn’t he thought about it sooner?
He doesn’t know how they get through the rest of the ultrasound. Felix and the doctor discuss stretching exercises, things to expect during the pregnancy, and their voices rush past Kade’s ears.
When it’s over, the doctor pulls a clean towel from a cabinet, handing it to Felix to wipe the gel off. Kade keeps close to the wall, feeling as though he’s intruding on this somehow. It isn’t until they leave the room that he can breathe again.
“Sorry,” Felix says as they head back to the receptionist. “You didn’t have to get involved.”
Kade s
hrugs. “It’s fine,” he says. “I’ll send you home after this.”
Felix nods, his shoulders hunching. Kade wants to kick himself. He needs to help his bondmate feel better. And even if the baby isn’t his... he’ll stay by Felix’s side, for as long as his omega will let him. He’ll get over this somehow.
34
Felix
At the counter, the receptionist prints out the receipt for their visit. “Five hundred and eighty,” she says. “That includes the ultrasound, the tests, and the lab fees. Oh! And the photo.”
Felix’s stomach freezes into a block of ice. He’s done some research, covering his eyes and huddling, but it’s still painful to hear it listed like this. Even the cash he borrowed from Taylor wouldn’t have been enough.
“Put it on this,” Kade says next to him, handing his credit card over. Felix stares. He can’t begin to imagine how many weeks he’ll be selling lemonade to cover this bill.
“No,” Felix says, grabbing his arm. “I’ll pay.”
Kade slants a look at him. Felix knows his alpha has seen through his hesitance, that he can’t afford all this without skipping his meals for the next two weeks. “Pay me back later,” Kade murmurs.
Felix gulps. Maybe Kade means Pay me in cash over the next three weeks, or maybe he means Suck me off for the next ten nights. And either is fine.
“I’ll need to verify your ID for the transaction, Mr. Brentwood,” the receptionist says, smiling at Kade. Kade hands his driver’s license over, his gaze flicking back to Felix. There’s no expectation in his eyes, only calm, as though he’s checking to make sure Felix is okay.
Felix loves this man.
He shouldn’t be realizing this now, at a clinic counter, the baby fluttering in his belly. The child is Kade’s. And he wants Kade to know, except Kade doesn’t want a baby.
Kade takes his cards back. The receptionist hands the receipt to him, and Kade folds it up, giving it to Felix instead. It feels flimsy in his hands, not like something that costs five hundred dollars.
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy Page 21
