Kade drops to a crouch, gathering the cool chain in his hand. Felix is gone, too. Where did you go?
How could he have been so careless? Felix had been adamant about his reasons for breaking up.
Kade swallows hard, stepping into his pants as he strides out. He checks the garage, but the bike stands in the shadows, untouched. He jogs to the front door, but the street’s empty. If I asked, will you come back? You can’t just leave.
He hasn’t checked the backyard yet. Kade hurries to the kitchen door. Why would Felix head there instead, if he’s found the ring? But he has to check everywhere in the house, even if his hands are shaking. He can’t lose his bondmate again.
Kade pushes the door open, and almost trips over the huddled figure on the back porch.
He swears, heart lodging in his throat. Felix!
But Felix isn’t looking at him. He flinches as Kade stumbles across the floorboards. Then he pushes his face down against his knees, his limbs drawing tight against his body.
He’s here. He’s still here. Kade breathes out his relief, suddenly cautious. His omega hasn’t left, and maybe this isn’t such a big deal. Maybe Felix has decided to stay, unlike five years ago.
He kneels warily in front of Felix, needing to hold him. “Felix?”
“Go away,” Felix rasps, like he’s been crying.
Kade’s heart cracks. He clenches his fists, shuffling closer. The heavy lavender of Felix’s scent steals into his nose.
“You found the ring,” he blurts.
Felix whines, a low, helpless sound laced with agony. “Why? Why did you even... I told you to leave.”
But why would he be upset about it, when Kade’s the one who wasn’t good enough? Kade reaches for him, touching his arm. Felix flinches. It stings, Felix recoiling from his touch. Kade sets his hand down, swallowing. “But you stayed this time.”
“I should go.” Felix unfurls his limbs, trying to hide his splotchy face.
Kade tenses. He can’t let his bondmate leave again. Five years of separation was too long. So he grabs Felix by his underarms, hauling him onto his lap, into the circle of his arms. “Don’t go,” Kade says, holding him tight. “Please.”
He’s vulnerable all over again, like Felix has all the power to break him.
Felix sobs. He shakes against Kade, a fragile, beloved warmth. “You’ll hate me so much,” he says, his voice cracking. Kade doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. “Let me leave.”
“Tell me,” Kade says in his ear. It feels like déjà vu, except Felix knows his secret now. A weight slips of his chest. “Tell me how to make you stay.”
Felix shudders. “Y-You won’t w-want me if you know.”
“You don’t know that,” Kade says, because they’ve been through so damn much. He strokes Felix’s hair, pulling him closer, careful not to compress his belly. “If I’m leaving, I’m leaving either way, right?”
Except he won’t leave, and Felix should know that by now.
Felix tenses, hiding his face. “Your dad died because of me,” he says, voice muffled. “I caused the bankruptcy.”
“What the hell?” What bankruptcy? We’ve been good for... for maybe four years. You couldn’t have anything to do with the tenant mess. But Felix curls into himself, and Kade strokes a hand down his back, his pulse thudding in his ears. “You mean the one five years ago? You weren’t even here when it happened.”
“I knew it was coming.” Felix’s voice rises, thin and helpless. “Why do you think I left?”
Kade swallows. The bankruptcy can’t be what caused all this. “You said I wasn’t good enough. You said I was too poor.”
He hasn’t been saving up as much as he should, and he doesn’t have enough to buy them a new house, or anything like that. Should’ve saved more money. I didn’t think I had any chance left with you. Are you going to leave again? His throat constricts.
Felix shakes his head, his hair catching on Kade’s shirt. “It was never about that. I don’t care about the money either. Except my father—he evicted your family. Do you remember that? My father used my drawings to get new tenants. So he could rebuild and have lots of big names move into those old homes.”
Kade frowns. “Thought he was the mayor.”
“He owns half the properties here. I just never told you about it.” Felix huddles into himself. “Do you remember the first time you visited my father’s mansion? For months after that, you said you wanted to buy one just like it, and... I couldn’t persuade you away from that idea.”
Kade breathes out, slow and deep. So on top of that grand mansion, Felix’s dad is way richer than he thought. Great. “You’ve been hiding things from me.”
That feels like a betrayal, too, and he thought it was only the baby Felix had lied about.
Felix breathes out, slow and heavy. “Yes.”
Kade closes his eyes. He hadn’t realized that Felix had hidden this from him for years. It’s as though the earth beneath him has shaken loose, learning that about Felix. “Why?”
“Because I never wanted you to compare yourself to him!” Felix glances up, his eyes red-rimmed, and Kade aches to make it right. Felix sucks in a shuddering breath. “I don’t care about the mansion, or rankings, or shit like that, okay? But my father—he had me draw artist’s impressions for the marketing. And those homes took off.”
Kade looks at the weathered grain of the floorboards. Can he believe this? That Felix doesn’t really care? He’d thought that, once upon a time, but he’s spent five years thinking he’s not good enough, too. “So you’re saying your dad screwed us over.”
“Those were my drawings. Part of it is my fault. And your dad died when—when he had to work again.” Felix cowers further, but at least he isn’t trying to flee.
“That wasn’t your fault,” Kade says, pulling him closer.
“It is! And he succeeded in bringing so many new people to Meadowfall, Kade. B-Because of me, your parents lost their home, and your dad died, and I don’t want you to hate me.” His words dissolve into a mess of whimpering. Kade swallows hard, running his fingers through Felix’s hair. Felix is just as broken as he is, if not more. How had they ended up like this?
“I don’t hate you,” he says. “I can’t.”
Felix shudders, choking on his sobs. “Y-you should. I’ve kept so many secrets from you. I’m not fit to be your omega.”
Kade’s heart splinters. How can Felix think so little of himself? He may have hidden things from Kade, and he may have hurt Kade in the past. But Kade understands why he’s scared. Why Felix might have thought he caused the bankruptcy. And Kade can overlook the lies, because he understands why Felix told them. He might not be comfortable with his savings and ranking yet, but he’ll get over that.
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” Kade says. “That’s all in the past, okay? I don’t think you’re at fault for any of it. And... if you don’t want that ring, I’ll take it back.”
Felix tenses. “I didn’t... didn’t think you kept the ring.”
Kade leans in, kissing Felix’s hair. “‘Course I did.”
“But...”
“I love you, okay? That’s all.” He feels exposed, admitting that. But Felix hasn’t shaken his head violently, or struggled out of Kade’s arms. So Kade cradles him, breathing in his heady scent.
“You shouldn’t,” Felix says. “I don’t deserve it.”
Kade almost says I’ll love you no matter what, but something in Felix’s tone makes him pause. “You have other secrets?”
Felix stares at the floorboards, shadows in his eyes. “Maybe.”
Kade gulps. What can be worse than the bankruptcy and his dad’s death? Felix already carries someone else’s child, and it’s not like he’s been sleeping with other people lately. They’ve lost most of what they had five years ago. But Kade can’t help the dread creeping down his spine when he asks, “What is it?”
Felix swallows. “The baby.”
“Yeah?” Something’s wrong with it. It’s
deformed, or it stopped moving. Or... Kade holds his breath, afraid that something has happened to it, and Felix will break again.
Felix lifts his head, wet streaks covering his cheeks. Kade wipes his tears off. Then he traces Felix’s lips with his thumb, and Felix meets his eyes fleetingly, before glancing away. “It’s yours.”
Kade stares. “What?”
“The baby’s yours,” Felix says, his shoulders sagging like he’s relieved that Kade knows this, and... it’s not sinking into Kade’s mind at all.
“What do you mean, it’s mine?” He pulls away slightly, just enough to look at the bump of Felix’s abdomen. It stretches his shirt, but he can’t see inside. There’s no secret message on it. Nothing to prove Felix right. “You said...”
Felix buries his face in his hands. “I was lying then, too. I’ve been lying so much, Kade.”
His voice breaks. Kade blinks, trying to process it. The baby is his. Really? He’s spent weeks thinking Felix slept with someone else, trying to accept the fact that Felix carries someone else’s child. And... Felix says it’s his. “I don’t.... don’t believe it.”
“It’s fine if you don’t,” Felix says, pulling away, turning so he’s not facing Kade. “I didn’t think you wanted one—we aren’t together or anything right now, and it’s not fair for you to accept a child you don’t want.”
“What the hell?”
Felix looks at his hands, his mouth pulled down at the corners. He looks honest like this. It’s not a joke. The baby is his. Really? But Kade had been convinced it wasn’t his, and Felix had seemed so honest then.
“You were crying at the store,” Kade says, remembering anger and shame and jealousy, all searing through his veins. He’s spent weeks coming to terms with someone else’s child. And that’s fine. Felix can carry it. Kade has made his peace with the baby. “You said it wasn’t mine.”
Felix doesn’t meet his eyes, but Kade reads regret in him all the same. And he wants to help Felix out of his misery. He never wants to see his bondmate in such pain. “There was a reason I left, Kade. I didn’t think I deserved any of this.”
Felix carries his baby. He’s been lying to Kade for months and years, and to try and absorb it all now... His mind whirls. Felix had, in some way, helped cause the bankruptcy. And that’s okay. He didn’t mean to. Kade sighs. “I understand why you left. But it’s not something that’ll make me leave you.”
“You said we shouldn’t have a child.” Felix hunches his shoulders, tears dripping down his chin. “Six years ago. At the kindergarten. Do you remember?”
Yeah, he remembers. But he didn’t think... couldn’t have known it would weigh on Felix for this long. “Damn it. Sorry. I didn’t... I thought you wouldn’t want my baby. I didn’t think you’d stay—I can’t afford all the rich things.”
Felix’s face crumples. “I told you, I don’t care about that. I don’t want our child to grow up thinking money is everything. But I’ve hurt you so much, Kade. And left you. And I’ll understand if you’d rather have another omega. Someone who won’t disappoint you.”
Kade leans in, pulling Felix close so their foreheads touch. After all this time... Felix had left because he’d been afraid of Kade’s reaction? Because he thought Kade could ever leave him? “I’ve been waiting five years for you.”
Felix shudders, his hands trembling. “I didn’t think you’d forgive me for all of this.”
This close, the tears on Felix’s lashes blur. Kade holds his hand, Felix’s breath puffing on his skin. None of Felix’s reasons are about himself. His fears all revolve around disappointing Kade, and... he’s never had to worried about that. And maybe, just maybe, Kade can be good enough for his omega, too.
“You’ve been lying a whole damn lot,” Kade says, still reeling from everything. The bankruptcy, the lies, the baby.
Felix flinches. “I won’t be angry if you bond with someone else—”
“I know,” Kade growls. “And I’m not bonding with anyone else.” He holds out his wrist between them, the silver scar bright in the shadows between them. “The only person who gets to mark me is you.”
Felix gulps, his gaze flying up to meet Kade’s. “You aren’t angry with me?”
“I’m damn annoyed,” Kade says. “But I’m not gonna leave you because of that.” He sucks in a deep breath, holding it. “The baby’s mine.”
“It is.” Felix holds his stare, fear dark in his eyes. Kade sighs, pulling him close.
“It’s mine,” Kade says again, to himself. He still can’t believe it. He tugs Felix’s shirt up, staring at the curve of his abdomen, the dark line leading down, and there’s a baby in there. His blood and bone. Not someone else’s. “Really?”
“Really,” Felix says, still hesitant. “You don’t have to assume responsibility for it. I won’t hold you to child support—”
Felix is carrying his baby. Their baby. Kade’s chest fills to bursting. He cradles Felix’s nape, kissing him softly. Felix gasps.
“Mine,” Kade growls against his mouth, slipping his hand down to cradle the bump of his abdomen. The child in there is his. It’s an alien concept. Fuck knows how long Kade has spent, trying to come to terms with that child. But Felix relaxes slowly against him, his lips opening for Kade, and Kade slides their tongues together, dragging his wrist down Felix’s belly. “It’s really mine?”
“I won’t say it’s yours again if you don’t want it,” Felix whispers, scarlet rising to his cheeks.
“My baby,” Kade says, awed and disbelieving. “I thought... you were in Highton before you moved back. You were in heat when I picked you up. I thought... maybe you slept with someone and he dumped you.”
Felix shakes his head. “My heat started only when you picked me up. When you asked about the baby’s father... Well.”
Of course the baby’s dad didn’t know about it. Because I’m the fucking dad. And the thought sends Kade reeling. “I’m gonna be a dad?”
Felix smiles up at him, suddenly shy, and triumph roars through Kade’s chest. “If you want to be dads with me, I won’t say no.”
“I love you,” Kade growls, fierce affection rumbling through his chest. Felix’s eyes grow wide, and Kade slides his arms around his omega, dragging him close, blood rushing down his body. He’ll be dads along with Felix. It’s his baby. He wants to pin his omega beneath him, wants to mark him and fuck him and have Felix crying out, needing Kade.
Felix leans in, his hands coming up to curl around Kade’s sides. “I’ve always loved you,” Felix whispers, looking away. “I never wanted to leave.”
His pulse misses a beat. “I want you in my life forever,” Kade says. “I’ve always been waiting.”
Felix whimpers, glancing back, his eyes yearning, and something in Kade jolts.
He’s so hard it hurts. He reaches down between them, tugging his pants open. Felix’s gaze drops to his cock, and his throat works. Kade slips his cock out. “Want you in my bed. Wanna be inside.”
Felix groans, musk rippling off him. He reaches down for Kade, his hands small against Kade’s cock, and Kade wants to pin him right here and slip home.
“We shouldn’t. Not out here,” Felix gasps, but he’s stroking Kade’s cock from base to tip, squeezing around him, squirming.
Kade drags him closer, and Felix’s baby bump pushes against his abs. Kade hesitates, glancing down at it. “Have I been fucking you too hard? ‘Cause I don’t wanna hurt the child. Our child.”
Just saying it out loud makes it different. I’m gonna be a dad. I’m gonna be a fucking dad.
“The baby will be fine,” Felix whispers, his eyes shining. Kade reaches down to touch the hard line in his pants. “So please, Kade, I want you inside.”
49
Kade
Kade scoops Felix up in his arms, careful not to put pressure on his belly. Felix’s legs spread around his hips. Kade turns them back into the house, kicking the kitchen door shut, then their bedroom door.
He drops Felix gently o
n the bed, tugging Felix’s shirt off. Felix grins through his tears. “Impatient, are you?”
“Yeah,” Kade says. He wants to kiss his bondmate all over, touch him, show Felix how much he wants his omega and their baby.
He kisses Felix’s tears off his face, hating that they’ve spent so long apart. Then he kisses further down, sliding into Felix’s mouth. Felix arches against him, his hands trailing down Kade’s sides, up against his abs.
Kade smooths his hand down Felix’s warm chest, thumbing his nipples. Felix moans into his mouth, his tongue sliding insistently against Kade’s, his hand curling around Kade’s cock. Felix wants him. Felix carries their child, and it’s better than Kade ever imagined.
“Kade,” Felix gasps. Kade slides both hands down his omega’s belly, cradling the child that’s theirs, that is part of them both, and Kade’s harder than before, his cock aching.
“Mine,” he growls, pushing his tongue into Felix’s mouth, tasting him.
“Yours,” Felix groans. Kade drags his hands down to Felix’s hips, and Felix spreads his legs, his cock a thick line in his pants. Kade breaks the kiss, trailing his lips down Felix’s jaw. Felix tilts his head, giving him access. Kade needs to claim him. Leave marks on his omega, because Felix is his.
He presses little kisses down Felix’s throat, sucking at his sweat, his fluttering pulse. Felix gasps. Lavender floods Kade’s nostrils, and he presses his teeth against the scent gland at Felix’s neck, hard enough to leave a mark. Felix cries out, his breath catching.
Kade kisses down his chest, licking his nipples, biting lightly on them. Then he nuzzles his way down to Felix’s belly. Felix slides his fingers through Kade’s hair, cradling him while Kade kisses down the dark line, the one that says Felix is pregnant, that he carries their child.
“Ours,” Kade says, nosing at his belly. Their baby is in there, Kade’s to love and protect. Kade growls, needing his omega, needing to pleasure him, needing to see Felix desperate for him.
So Kade kneels in front of his bondmate, pulling his pants open, letting the flushed length of his cock slip out. It’s musky, glistening at the tip.
The Omega's Secret Pregnancy Page 30
