“Great,” Jonathon said. “Mom, dad—I think we’ll walk.” He dropped his voice and peered into her eyes. “If that’s okay with you?”
Her heart picked up speed at the intensity in his eyes. “Yeah, that’s great.” She tried to pretend this was no big deal—that she hadn’t been waiting to see him for two years.
“Okay,” Cindy said, fluttering around them for a moment. “You kids help yourself to whatever you want. And you are all invited to stay for dinner—we’ll be having some neighbors and friends coming over too—to celebrate.” She smiled, and Sara noticed Cindy looked so happy. It was such a sharp contrast to the last time she’d seen her in the Salt Lake Airport parking lot.
Genova turned to her. “We’ll see you in a bit.”
Jonathon waved off his parents and pulled her quickly down the sidewalk. “Okay.”
One of her shoes fell off and Jonathon ran back, stooping dramatically to pick it up. She laughed at his happiness.
He helped her put it on and then pulled her a little farther and backed her up against a large oak tree. Moving the hair out of her face he said, “I missed you so much, Sara.” Searching her face he inhaled deeply. “You are so beautiful, more beautiful than I remembered you. Do you realize that?”
His nearness made her aware of every line in his face, and she inspected him too, forgetting that his left cheek had a dimple that deepened when he smiled.
He paused.
She couldn’t stop the way Beau’s face entered her mind.
“Are you okay, Sara?”
She blinked. “Of course.”
He smiled. “Can I kiss you?”
She nodded.
He leaned down and touched his lips with her. Gently. “It was worth it. The whole mission was worth it with you waiting for me.”
He kissed her again.
Sara kissed him back, feeling how right it felt between them, thinking about that summer when she met him and how she had known it would work out and how she couldn’t wait to tell Beau that he was wrong. Beau.
Jonathon pulled back and gazed into her eyes. “Sara—tell me that you’ll marry me.” “Wh—what?”
She had not planned on this.
“I’ve thought of you every single day while I was gone. Of course I didn’t let it get in the way of my work, but we’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” He put both of his hands on her shoulders. “I know I want to be with you forever. I know it here.” He put one hand on his chest and tears were in his eyes. “I know it like I know the Book of Mormon is true.”
Sara felt her head start to spin. “Jonathon . . .”
“Shh—I know you probably want a ring, and I’m working on that.” He looked sheepish. “And I already spoke with the coach for UW basketball. He’s having me down next week to schmooze me. I told him I still wasn’t sure whether I would be going to BYU or UW. He wants me pretty bad. And—if I go to the Y, the coach told me he would make sure you got in. Your grades are good, aren’t they?” He paused, but didn’t let her answer. “You know I’ve already done one year of school, but I figure since I have a scholarship, all you’d have to work for is our expenses.”
Her head started spinning, and her throat felt parched. “Wait—what?”
“I thought you could waitress or work at a grocery store. My friend, Buck’s wife, gets insurance for working thirty-two hours a week. I talked with him last night on the phone too. He says that’s way enough to cover their expenses.” Jonathon kept both of her hands in his, it seemed he thought he had all the answers.
“But I’ll be in school too.”
“Sara, you won’t ever have to worry about working once I get through dental school. And, who will pay your loans off if you’re not working? Do you plan on working?” Jonathon seemed to come out of his own world for a minute and look at her like she was finally real.
She hesitated and sucked in a large breath of air.
Jonathon kissed her softly on the mouth again. “Am I overwhelming you?”
Sara put her hand up, but smiled, loving the way it felt when he kissed her. “I’m finishing school, Jonathon. That’s all I ever wanted, and . . . my dad wanted it for me.” Her voice choked a little at the last part, thinking of her dad.
“Oh my gosh.” Jonathon crushed her to him. “Sara, I am so sorry. I totally forgot about that for a second. I wish I would have been there for you. I am so sorry.” He cupped her face with both of his hands and gazed into her eyes. “You know that he’s in a better place though, right?”
Sara didn’t respond.
“I mean, I know we talked a little about this on the phone . . . I know that your dad is happier up in Heaven with our Savior and . . . your mother . . . and . . .”
Sara couldn’t stand it another minute she shook out of his grasp. “Stop, Jonathon. Just stop.”
He turned to her, looking like a hurt animal.
“Don’t talk about my dad being in a better place to me. Of course I know that.” She snapped at him. “But I want him here. If I got to choose, he’d still be here.” She turned away from him and shook her head, feeling completely dazed. It was like her dream world and real world were suddenly colliding, and she didn’t know what to do.
Another couple with a stroller walked past them, giving both of them a concerned look. Sara stopped walking, pulling her hand out of his. She didn’t care if she was making a scene. “And I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know it holds a degree in it. And I have a scholarship for my grades.” She felt her face burning in frustration.
Jonathon’s face softened, he reached for her hand again. “I’m sorry, Sara. We’ll make it work out.” He pulled her into walking easily down the sidewalk with him.
The nauseated feeling she’d had the whole drive up, or well—if she was honest with herself—since she’d left Montana last week, was back.
Jonathon began rambling on and on about how wonderful Japan had been and how the members were awesome. She tried to be a considerate listener and smile and nod at all the right times, but she kept thinking about his marriage proposal and the possibility of him coming down to University of Wyoming. By the time they got to his house she felt frazzled and on edge.
They sat on the swing in front of his parents’ quaint, two story home with blue shutters. Fall colors dropped from the trees all around them. Jonathon searched her face. “Did I scare you off already?”
Sara laughed, looking into his deep, brown eyes and remembering their last time together at the airport. Shrugging, she decided to be honest. “A little.”
He leaned over to kiss her and noticed the expression on her face. “What’s wrong, Sara?”
Sara didn’t even know what to say or how to begin. “Nothing, Jonathon.”
Two cars pulled up and, what appeared to be, taller than average boys descended out of them. “Right on.” Jonathon stood up and started running to the boys.
“Dude—look at you—all suit and out of shape.” One boy with long hair that curled up at his ears and a shark teeth necklace bumped knuckles with Jonathon.
Sara stared at Jonathon and wondered if her whole world was falling apart.
**
“You really can’t just stay for a few days?” Jonathon played with her hand and smiled brilliantly at her. She’d stayed by his side for most of the afternoon, being introduced to what seemed like the whole town. His mother had even given her a huge hug and pulled her into the kitchen saying she wanted to get to know her better.
“Nope. I missed a week for my dad’s funeral.” She studied Jonathon’s face and wondered if she could look in those forever mirrors in the temple with him next to her. “I need to get back.”
“Why don’t you come for Thanksgiving? Mom told me to ask you.” His long arms pulled her gently closer to him. “I want to spend time with you.”
The car seemed to calling her to get in. Sara shook her head no. “Sorry, I can’t. I’m looking for a part-time job. I’m hoping if I have availability over the
holiday that it will be an extra incentive to hire me.”
Jonathon didn’t seem to really be paying attention to what she was saying. He looked at her lips and bent down to kiss her.
She let him, feeling his joy and the feelings she remembered when he used to kiss her. He kissed her a little deeper and pulled her against him. “I love you, Sara. It was real,” he whispered against her ear. “It was real, and we will be together now. We’ll make it work, I promise.” He pulled away from her but held to her hand. “I just want you to know that it won’t be long. My mission president told me not to wait.”
Sara blinked a couple of times, trying to get her mind around how fast life seemed to be going.
“Call me when you get back.” He opened the car door for her, and she got in. He waved as they pulled away.
Genova immediately turned around in the seat, smiling. “So?”
“So.” She repeated back to her.
“Oh, come on.” Genova whined. “You have been glued to him all afternoon, and I don’t think I can count how many times I saw you kissing. What’s the deal?” Her face was flushed with excitement for Sara.
Sara hesitated then confessed, “He asked me to marry him.”
Genova gasped, shocked. “What did you say?”
Chapter 20
“What do you mean you’re not sure if you accepted or not?”
It was Monday morning and Sara was walking to her entrepreneurship class and talking to her brother, Mark, on her phone.
She hefted her backpack back into place on her shoulder and started climbing the stairs to the classroom. “It’s complicated.”
“Well—uncomplicate it for me. Is it there or not?” Mark always had a way of seeing things simply.
Sara walked into class and bumped into Beau, dropping her phone. Beau bent down and picked it up. He handed it to her.
She could see the question in Beau’s eyes. She took the phone and spoke into the speaker.
“I have to go, Mark. I’ll call you later.”
“You better!”
Beau held the phone out to her. “Good morning, Ms. Fairbanks.”
“Mr. Hennings,” she said, nodding back and turning to go to her seat.
Beau spent the class going over the framework for writing their business plans. Sara watched how he moved around the class, easily answering questions and laughing with the students. She tried not to compare him to Jonathon, but it was pointless.
Jonathon. Why did it have to be so complicated? Everyone kept asking how she felt about him and the truth was, she didn’t know. She needed time. She needed a chance to get to know him again.
After class Linda leaned over and asked, “So what’s the scoop with the missionary?”
Sara dropped her book. “What?”
“Come on, Sara. Everyone knows about Mr. Wonderful. You’ve been talking about him for two years at the institute. So how was it?”
“You have a missionary?” Rob chimed in, scooting closer and raising his eyebrows. “Why was I not informed?”
Sara felt her cheeks redden. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Rob bumped Linda’s shoulder lightly. “Hey, this is just like that movie—the one about the missionary coming off of his mission and everything went awful for him—right? Please tell me you dumped him.”
Linda made a face. “No—you didn’t dump him, did you?”
Pulling her bag onto her shoulder she laughed at their interest. “I have to go.” She turned and bumped into Beau—again. “Hey.”
A smile played on his lips. “Oh, don’t let me interrupt, Ms. Fairbanks. Go ahead and answer the question.”
Sara caught that look in his eye. The one that told her his curiosity was more than casual.
“Uh.” She glanced back—Rob and Linda were looking between her and Beau expectantly.
Leaning easily against a chair, Beau folded his arms casually. “Well.”
“No,” she said, her gaze steady on Beau. “I didn’t dump him.”
Rob laughed, standing up and patting her on the shoulder. “Dang. Well, that’s all right.” He brushed between her and Beau and started down the stairs. “It seems like there’s already enough drama at the institute anyway.” He gave Linda a pointed look and turned for the door.
Sara looked at Linda, hoping to deflect any further conversation with Beau. “What was that about?”
Linda frowned and hurried to follow him. “He’s getting baptized.”
Shock registered in her mind. “What?” How had she missed this?
Linda paused at the entrance to class. “Yeah, and now he wants to go on a mission.” She glared at Sara and walked out.
Sara was speechless. Her heart was elated for Rob but confused at Linda’s reprisal.
Sara hesitated when she met Beau’s eyes. “Wow, who would have thought?” She couldn’t keep herself from smiling.
Beau smiled too, but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “Yeah—who would have thought?”
They both stood there for what seemed like forever. Sara thought about kissing him that night in the grove, and her heart started to flutter.
It looked like he was going to reach out to her, pull her into him, then he turned for the stairs. “Well.”
Sara didn’t want him to go, but she was all tangled up inside like a knot that no matter of pulling would let loose. “I didn’t say yes.” Her voice was quiet.
He hung back but didn’t look at her.
She wanted to tell him about it, explain the details and get his input. But she couldn’t—not about this. “I don’t know what to say to you.”
Picking up his briefcase he went for the exit, calling over his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it.”
**
It was 10:30 p.m. and Sara sat in the small office set aside for part-time staff of the paper. She’d been pouring over what to write as an answer for her Beatrice article. It just didn’t feel right the way it was. Usually it was easy for her to answer the ‘love questions.’
Carey walked by and turned, seeing her there. “H-hey.” He dropped his gaze and leaned into the door. “I’m sorry about your dad.”
Sara sighed; she wanted to still be upset with Carey, but she didn’t feel like she had it in her at the moment . . . and she could use a friend. “Thanks.”
Carey met her eyes and stepped into the office, pulling the chair to him. “I’m sorry about everything.”
Sighing heavily, she leaned back. Carey had been one of her closest friends last year. Well, she thought he’d been her friend. And she felt so confused. “It’s okay. I’m sorry if—if I did anything that made you think—.” Beau’s face popped into her mind. “I’m sorry if I led you on.” It was the fear that had been at the back of her mind the past couple of weeks.
Scrubbing his hand over his face he smiled. “It was my fault.” He delayed, looking at her closely. “I wasn’t really being honest with myself; I can see that now.”
Sara felt her face getting red.
He stood and it seemed like he was indecisive whether he wanted to stay or not. “How’s the article?”
Sara turned her computer so he could see. “I don’t know what’s wrong with it?”
Leaning down, his shoulder brushed hers, and he stared at her for a second. Then he pulled the chair over and sat down, scanning through it. “Well,” he said fixing an error. “I think your answer stinks.”
Surprised, Sara laughed. “Well, don’t hold back, Carey.” It felt good to laugh. It felt good to be talking with Carey. “What do you mean?”
Carey cleared his throat, and Sara thought that his cheeks reddened a little. “Your reader is asking you if she should give this other guy a shot and you tell her that she shouldn’t hurt her boyfriend.”
Sara folded her arms, realizing that Carey was talking about them. “Carey—don’t.” She looked away.
“Sara . . .” He leaned forward, touching her hand lightly. “I’m not talking about that.” His lips tensed, and he pu
lled his hand away. Shrugging he stood. “Really, I’m not talking about us—but I am talking about you.” He raised his eyebrows and pointed to her.
Sara was confused. “What?”
Carey shook his head slowly. “You don’t see it, do you?” He walked to the door and then turned back. “Sara—if he was the one, I don’t think you’d have to defend your decision so much.” The corner of his mouth turned into a sad smile. “I know I’m not the guy—I get that. But I don’t think it’s Jonathon, either.” He tapped the door with his pen. “I’m just sayin. Goodnight, Sara.”
Chapter 21
The night lay ahead of her. Genova was out with Kevin, and Jonathon was coming next weekend—the weekend before Thanksgiving. They’d been texting and talking and emailing, but she hadn’t been able to see him in person. He was working for his dad to earn money for school—even though he was still uncertain where he was going to attend school. It was driving her slightly crazy, not being able to plan.
Opening the freezer she assessed the ice cream situation. Not good. Cookies and cream was her favorite, but Sara knew it’d been in there for a few weeks.
She decided to skip the ice cream and opened her computer, going to her email to see if she’d heard back from any of the part time jobs at the University. Answering phones would be preferable, especially if she could study when they weren’t busy.
There was an email from Beau. It was an outline for their business plans. Beau. They hadn’t spoken since that day in class when he’d asked, point blank, what she’d said to Jonathon. He would nod casually to her at the institute but never engaged her in conversation.
Clicking the computer shut, she went to the couch, pulling out her photo album. She’d brought it with her after the funeral. It had been by her father’s bed and dropping it into her suitcase had felt right. It was a part of her dad that was tangible—the pictures of them together.
Dwelling on her dad’s death hadn’t been an option. It had all been a whirlwind with school and Jonathon coming back. She was proud of the fact that she was caught up in all of her classes. Trying to stay focused in school was essential to keeping her grades up for her scholarship. The plastic that held the pictures to the page cracked a little as she opened it.
Mr. Wrong Page 10
