After Thomas and I divorced, my own father questioned me about what I did wrong that lead us to divorce. With all my insecurities this only brought me down and so I wasn’t really in touch with him anymore. I felt as though I didn’t measure up in his eyes, that perhaps it was my mom he saw when he looked at me. I always saw his disappointment.
As I started to pack Jillian was going over and over what I should do, not do, what to wear, not to wear and she was still beaming about the meeting and seeing the handsome Max Rand. Actually, a thought had entered my head that Jillian would have been a girl I could see with Rand. Why with her stunning good looks and long, straight, always perfectly placed reddish hair, she knew how to take over a room of people. Her smile captivated all, and I know that she had the biggest heart in the world, and he surely needed heart. But then I thought here I was, just plain simple Madison, I too needed love, but couldn’t go there again. I was trying to be calm playing off that I too was overwhelmed by his great looks and his new found kindness toward me.
Jillian said shaking her head, “Madison, he is so freaking hot why didn’t you sleep with him? I would have jumped in bed with him, you’re crazy.”
“I felt him come near me last night, but nothing happened,” I thought about last night and licked my lower lip.
“Madison, there’s a vibe coming off you two.”
“Girlfriend something is here, it feels really good,” I smiled; I too had a feeling but didn’t want to act on it knowing Rand emphasized he could never love again.
While finishing up packing, we decided that we would go for a drink and a bite to eat in the city when we headed in to pick up my car. I don’t know how I did it, but packing wasn’t that bad. Perhaps all those business trips I packed Thomas for came in handy, as I got it all done in a few hours time. Jillian spoke all the way to get my car. “I want you to check in weekly, not daily that would be too much, but girlfriend if you have great news or sex, especially sex I want to hear it right away.” She told me perhaps we could meet up. It would surely be fun for us to catch up for a girl’s weekend while I was on the road and take in the show.
I decided on the way into the city that I needed a haircut. It had been a good few months; my hair had grown out longer and lacked shape. I wanted it styled nicely to have it take less time to style while on the trip. Not that this mattered but I was thinking I wanted to look better, perhaps because I was finally feeling a bit better about myself. For so many months I simply pulled my hair back and wore slight makeup, not out to impress anyone anymore.
Jillian said, “Great let’s get you beautified. I have wanted to get my nails touched up and we can talk, because I have missed you the past few days.”
After our girl primping we stopped to grab a bite at a local eatery called, Matyson. How appropriate. We loved this place. Their lunches were good and their dinners better. We chatted and had a few glasses of wine and finally I told her I really needed a decent night sleep so I was going to go. I only had a few blocks to walk to get my car and before I grabbed my purse a few familiar faces stopped by our table.
Jillian could not contain her excitement for me and blurted out, “Maddy’s leaving with a band to write about them, isn’t this exciting?” The faces were familiar because they were old friends of both of us, but one was still friends with Thomas and I hoped this would not get back to him. As we hadn’t spoken in months, I kept out of any gossip about him and expected that he do the same. For awhile from friends, I had heard Thomas and the woman he was seeing weren’t working out. I also know he was asking what I had been up to. I know I wasn’t dating, considering it or even trying to find love. It’s not that I can’t love again, but I wasn’t sure I would pick wisely. I was still trying to understand what happened to Thomas and me. I then spoke, “It’s really not a big deal about the band” and tried to downplay it and asked them what they had been up to lately hoping we could change the conversation.
Jillian got up and hugged me and said in a whisper, “I love you girlfriend, be safe and I’ll call you in the morning. Oh and try to have a great time.” She stayed behind at the restaurant as I left and struck up conversation with the others.
As I walked toward my car, I suddenly got pissed even as I was still several feet from the car. I saw a ticket on my windshield. I knew I parked in a spot that wasn’t metered, I was sure. I was getting angry, wondering why I would have a ticket. I looked at the signage near my car and it surely was a spot with no restrictions. I grabbed the ticket and threw it on the seat and climbed in. I set my purse on the seat and glanced down to the ticket. It read –
As I leave this note on yet another White Audi parked on 5th Street, I’m not sure this will get to you or at what time, but I may be at the 2nd Street Coffee Café so if you want to stop by maybe we can talk. I’d like to see you, Rand
Another heart stopping moment, from pissed that I got a ticket to the thought of catching up with him. I wondered if I should I just pass it up, or should I go. I had to do something first, so I got out of the car and walked the entire block to find the other white Audi and remove the note. I didn’t want any other person to get the note and be meeting up with Rand.
I walked in to the coffee shop smiling and heading upstairs. I looked about and saw that he was not there, I checked downstairs as well then I asked one of the employees carrying coffees and desserts to a table and she told me she thought he just left. Oh well, I guess I missed him, so I started back to my car. As I rounded the corner to 5th Street there he was leaning against my car. He looked so incredibly good, as my eyes traveled from the sidewalk level of his feet planted on the ground in front of me, to his chest, then to his lips smiling on his face. I felt the urge to run up and hug him, but who was I to even think that? He wasn’t that way with me; we were barely anything, just friendly.
I smiled and as I came close to the car. He moved toward me and took hold of my hand and pulled me into him. He kissed me, and it felt like my first kiss, a passion in his lips as he gazed directly into my eyes. As I shut my lids taking this in, I knew I wasn’t dreaming this, or over thinking this. I kissed him back with a sweetness and softness and nervousness. It was an amazingly sexy, long, lingering kiss, and he trailed his lips up over the side of my cheek and he said, “Madison, love the new hair.” He then nuzzled his messy dark hair into my head and breathed in. “You’re beautiful, so beautiful.”
My new hair style was going to be much easier and it was more sophisticated the stylist told me. I now had a look where long pieces trailed along the sides of my face and it was much shorter in the back.
He remained pressed into my hair and then started to lick at the piece at the side of my face. That turned into to a kiss on my ear, down my earring dropping off to my neck and then trailing on my neck to my collarbone area. I got lost in him as Rand continued lightly placing delicate kisses all around my neckline. His mouth was so warm on my skin. He was making me wet and aroused so quickly. I had forgotten I was on a street near my car. He felt so good, he made me feel again. I hadn’t felt like this for so long. He suddenly pulled back and I stared at him in surprise. I wanted more, I wish he didn’t stop. He then spoke, “Drive safe and be packed, we’ll see you tomorrow morning.” After a pause he said, “Good night my Madison.” His voice had taken on a low, sexy tone with these last words.
I was stunned and sat in the car and had to remember how to put the key into the ignition, how to actually start the car. Still shaken I had to turn on the headlights and move from the parking space to go home. He walked down the street and turned, I guess, to find his vehicle. Just before he was out of sight he turned and smiled. I had not taken my eyes off of him, watching him through my windshield. On the ride home I wanted to call and tell Jillian but didn’t because I didn’t know what this was. Was it a game, or was it real? Why would he kiss me if he feels nothing for anyone? So many questions were going through my head and then so many things I needed to get accomplished in just the next few hours. I had to send a re
minder text to Jillian to get my mail. I had to pay my upcoming bills online before I left and, and I am sure I was forgetting something else.
The limo arrived on time the next morning and I felt like a princess or a prom queen as the band all got out welcoming me with hugs. Again, it was Kent that turned his tight bear hug into a stolen kiss, and Rand pulled him away. Then it was Rand that snuck a kiss into my hair inhaling deeply at the back of my head, and a lick to the lower part of my neck just where my hair fell, as I entered the limo. We loaded up and we were all heading to our first stop, Florida.
Thoughts were spinning in my head with travel and excitement and so much of this was out of character for me. As Rand led me to the seat next to him I noticed a tall pile of items on top. The band members chuckled at me, I picked up the pile and there were a few Rolling Isaac’s tee shirts, tank tops, a hat and a VIP Access Pass for me to have backstage access and/or the front row access to all their shows. Rand spoke, “Anytime you want, you can bring someone to our shows. Just give us a heads up and we’ll hook you up VIP Access passes for them.” I thought this was going to be great and perhaps Jillian could come to one of their shows in the future. A touch of sadness was creeping in on me as I realized how much I was missing my sister friend already and then I had to break into a laugh as at the bottom of the items there was a case of Red Bull with a note attached that read:
Madison, please take once a day to keep up with the band and me, Rand.
Rand pushed the items aside smiling and I sat down beside him startlingly aware of his hand around my waist the entire ride to the airport. His thumb made little fluttering circles on my back, slightly lifting my shirt and touching my bare skin. His thumb moved in a pattern, as if he was tapping out the rhythm of a song, making little circles and shifting the beat to go in reverse. I tingled, chilled and smiled and lightly licked my lips in anticipation of the trip and how he made me feel.
Our arrival in Florida was sunny, first stop was Jacksonville. I was told we would be going down A1A on the coastline to Fort Lauderdale and then to South Beach. The band had mentioned a surprise awaiting me in South Beach, but with guys talking you never quite know what they are implying. Maxwell greeted us all at the airport and was very kind to me as well. He never let on that I reached out to him, perhaps he never received my inquiries to write about the band or put two and two together as to my identity.
Maxwell explained that there were two vans to take us to the hotel, but when he told Rand to go with the band members, Rand shook his head and took my finger tips and lead me to the other van and shut the door once we entered. From the limo, to the plane, to the van, all the way to the door of my hotel room, he never let go of my finger tips. It was endearing. I felt his softness, just like I was being caressed and taken care of, and I thought that I was maybe helping him feel something back as well. As we stood in the hallway of the hotel before I entered my room, I leaned on the wall waiting for the bellman to exit the room after taking in my luggage. Rand still had a hold of two of my fingertips. Turning toward me, he placed both of his hands on the wall. With me pinned up tightly against the wall, he stood looking down at me, holding me captive as he tilted toward my lips. He did not touch me at first, just slowly leaned down and then came in to kiss me. First, he nudged my forehead, and slid his nose down mine and then pulled back. He looked into my eyes and then came in and took one passionate kiss. My arms hung at my sides and his arms still remained firmly overhead leaning above me on the wall. Isaac was coming down the hall and hollered, “Oh, please get a room you two!”
Our lips together chuckled and we let out a breath from our noses, but we continued to kiss. I was so consumed by his lips and his unrelenting kiss. The way he kissed me, it was like he hadn’t seen me for a while. I opened my eyes only to glance at his wrists and saw an inscription on the inside band of his leather wrist cuff. This was the same wrist band that I’d seen him wear at the concert and that he rubbed and twirled on the entire trip here it read, My Love, Ashley. I pulled away from his lips and ducked under his strong arms. The bellman was exiting at this moment so I think he thought that was why, but as I entered my room and looked back, I smiled and said calmly, “Rand I will see you later.”
I shut the door and fell apart, how could I compete with this beautiful girl, Ashley, his love? Where was she? Did I dare ask or open this wound to him? I liked being kissed by Rand but with another woman holding his heart, I knew this would end for us before even starting. I figured when the time was right perhaps he would mention her, or the band would. I stood behind the door for several moments tracing my lips over and over where Rand’s lips had just been. Despite my worry about Ashley, I felt like I never wanted these lips washed or touched again. Well, touched by anyone else at least.
With all of us checked in, Maxwell told the guys that he was having them practice for a bit and wanted to go over their upcoming schedule of shows. This would take a few hours and he also offered that he had food coming in for them. Men always respond nicely to food. For me, I decided to just stay back and catch up on my thoughts and writings and enjoy the amenities of the hotel. I also wanted to catch up with Jillian and let her know I arrived okay and all was good. With the band all gone and Maxwell too, I walked the hotel and toured the property taking in the pool area that was so nice and peaceful. Since it was spring and quite warm here in Florida, there still weren’t too many travelers here. I believe Maxwell knew that when booking the band here to stay.
I sat for awhile, out by the pool in my clothes but started to get warm with the early afternoon sun. I thought I would head up to my room, grab my notes and change into one of my bathing suits, a bikini, that yes, Jillian packed. Actually, she jammed them into my suitcase saying, “Madison you have a rocking body even if you don’t show it, you’re heading to the South. You’re going to have hot weather, sunny days, and hopefully heated nights!” I stopped her train of thought. Today, I was glad I hadn’t stopped her before she had packed it for me.
As I sat by the pool, I wrote a bit and then dropped my notes next to me and lowered my beach hat to relax and take all this in. The next few hours flew by and when I looked up through the design of my hat, a thatched pattern appeared with a face just beyond. In a whisper I heard, “Madison please cover up, these guys will go crazy.” Then as his voice lowered, “Please cover up now you’re driving me crazy.” I tilted up and lifted the brim of my large hat and adjusted my eyes realizing that I was within inches of Rand’s face and he was handing me one of the hotel’s large pool towels. “Here, please put this over you.” He said as he actually laid it on me. Normally, at this moment I would have been so nervous and embarrassed and probably shy to be lying in my bikini, but I think it was my knowing that the young girls’ eyes were on us that allowed me to remain calm and mature. I knew that I had just totally climbed two more steps of my confidence ladder.
“Rand, I must have crashed. I thought you guys would be gone for hours, and I wouldn’t catch you until tomorrow at breakfast.” As I spoke those words, I realized how glad I was that they returned.
Even as the sun had warmed my body outside, I knew something simmering between Rand and me was responsible for the warming inside. And for a moment, taking in the sight of him there poolside, in his shorts and tight tee shirt, I think he was the one who needed the covering up. A few young girls had already switched their lounging pool chairs to get closer to where I was and I know it was not to get a glimpse of me.
I got up and wrapped the towel around my waist but my bathing suit top was still on display. I leaned back down into the chair letting out a sigh like Rand had just won in succeeding in getting me covered up. I had definitely taken in some color in the past few hours out here at the pool and I looked at Rand as he touched my skin in between my chest and neck and said, “You got color,” his fingers drifted up and down my sun soaked skin between my breasts, and traveled up to my throat, then he slowly outlined my entire bathing suit top like he was memorizing the shape. I
was breathless; I had to actually bite the inside of my cheek to keep it from quivering. He said again, “Would you please cover up you can’t do this to me.” I know I wasn’t doing anything; he could have any girl as they were all there for the taking and ready to be with him anyplace and surely at anytime. I was just lying in the afternoon sun relaxing, but to make him happier I pulled on a Rolling Isaac’s tank top, and he smiled while we walked back toward the hotel.
Their first concert in the sunshine state was great, although I expected nothing less. The band left together and I stayed behind to ride over with Maxwell a bit later. I was excited to have my backstage pass, but when we got to the venue, I soon found I would rather be in the front row with them all singing out toward me than seeing their butts all night, not that that wasn’t a nice sight either. While they were setting up I was back stage with them all and felt like a part of their team.
Isaac was loud and commenting about the huge crowd and loud again as he talked about all the hot girls. He was even calling them out by their clothes. “The one in the purple tank top,” or “the one in the yellow halter.” Obviously he didn’t know their names, only their clothing color and description but for him that was enough. Raeford, he was kind and seemed in thought a lot and took the shows seriously. He brushed past me and said, “Madison you looked great at the pool.” I blushed as I didn’t hear him talk too much yet and I didn’t even know he was out there. I thought it was only Rand with me.
Kent, well he was another story. He again spun me around and when I turned so he could not plant a kiss on me, he turned and grabbed my ass tightly and said, “Hey you can write this.” It was all funny – he didn’t mean any harm. He was just being Kent and, well, it seemed to slightly ruffle Rand’s mood. Rand took a few steps back and headed over to talk to Maxwell briefly, but still kept his blue eyes on me.
Rock Notes (Book One of the Heartbeat Series) Page 4
