by Heather Long
Anger seethed through me all the way to the elevator. Susan glanced up at me, and her smile faltered. Without a word, she held up the candy bar I’d brought her, and I shook my head. It took some effort to muster a smile, but I managed.
She sighed, then cast a glance back the way I’d come and then at me again. “Take care of yourself, Archie.”
“You, too,” I said as the elevator opened, and there, I got another smile out for her as the doors closed after I punched the lobby button. You needed a keycard to go up, but nothing to go down. Dropping my chin, I stared at my battered knuckles.
Frankie wouldn’t be happy with me. Fuck. I should have kept my cool.
Should have.
Would have.
Had.
So many times.
I wanted him out of her life before he fucked up everything. It was what he was good at.
Downstairs, I crossed the lobby and exited without a glance to anyone else. My car waited for me right out front. Perks of the last name. They existed, even if I could have wished I’d been born a generation earlier.
Course, then I wouldn’t have gotten to know Frankie, so maybe I could live with the shit lottery I won in getting Edward and Muriel. At least I’d always had Grandpa and Nana.
In the car, I started it up and the music started pouring from the speakers. Raking a hand through my hair, I pressed my mouth against my abused knuckles before I pulled out my phone. A quick text to Jeremy to find out where he was.
Home.
Well the house, anyway. I wasn’t sure I really considered it home anymore.
I sent him an on my way and then pulled out. It was another forty-five minutes back to the house, and it gave me time to stew. I’d been stewing since Coop texted us the night before and I got home to read the email myself.
Jeremy was working in his tidy little office just off the kitchen when I got there. “There’s coffee brewed, Mr. Archie, and some sandwiches. I suspected you might not have paused for breakfast.” He glanced up, then removed his reading glasses to give me a stern once over. Yeah, I didn’t think he’d miss the hand.
Rising, he set his reading glasses down, then motioned me back into the kitchen. I settled at the island while he poured the coffee and set the platter of sandwiches along with some chips in front of me. He stepped out, only to return a moment later with the first aid kit.
He didn’t ask and I didn’t offer, just sipped the coffee and stared out the windows toward the garden. Only when he finished and had put an ice pack in place, did he give me a hard look.
“We’ve discussed your new-found penchant for leading with your fists,” he scolded, disappointment in his voice. “You will win far more battles with words and wits, than with fists.”
“True,” I agreed. “But sometimes, you just want to knock the fucker on his ass. Or at least I do.”
“Should I be calling your lawyer?”
“Doubtful,” I said, though that would be an interesting twist if Edward decided to have me charged with assault.
Worth it.
“Did you get a hold of Wittaker?”
“I did,” he said. “He’s tied up in court this week with a case, but so far, there has been no movement from Ms. Curtis on the matter, nor has any counter suit been filed. They do, however, have another ten days to answer that suit. They may be running the clock out.”
“That seems like an exercise in futility, right? She turns eighteen in three months.” This all presupposed that Madeline Curtis planned to contest the emancipation hearing. Still, would she be petty enough to fight over three months?
The bite of my sandwich settled like a hard lump in my stomach as though answering that question for me.
“Perhaps. I wouldn’t want to hazard a guess in either direction at this point. I’m afraid Ms. Curtis’ motives seem a bit of a mystery to me.”
What a polite way of calling her a crazy bitch. My phone buzzed, and I glanced at it. It was the group chat. Jake was teasing Frankie about something, and she kept sending him flip off emojis, which was kind of flirting. My name flashed across the screen. Frankie wanted to know if I was doing all right. Just checking in.
“That seems to be going rather well,” Jeremy commented as he studied me.
“It is going well,” I admitted. “It was easier in Colorado, even with all of them there and knowing she’s with them, too. It worked and yet…”
I frowned and then shook my head.
“Nothing.”
“I would say your feelings are hardly nothing, Mr. Archie. While this relationship you have involved yourself in is hardly conventional, one truism to making all relationships work is open, honest communication. If something is bothering you, you should not repress it. Your feelings have merit.”
I chuckled. “I’m okay, Jere. Seriously. It’s just that some days, I want her all to myself and I don’t want to share. I want to be the reason she smiles or she flirts, and it’s not always going to be me. I’m glad she has them. I am…”
“But you want her to want you the way you want her.” It wasn’t a guess. “You have been in love with that young lady for years. She’s exceptionally good for you.”
“But…?” Because there was always a but.
“But you are in a unique position, and one I am familiar with.”
Excuse me? I leaned back and stared at him. “Did I miss something, Jere?” Did he even date? I should know this, right?
Jeremy chuckled. “Well, perhaps not the exact same position, but I serve this household and I have for many years. You. Ms. Muriel. Mr. Edward. My position has always been clear. I worked for a short time for Mr. Ted, before Mr. Edward married Ms. Muriel. I moved to working for Mr. Edward because you were coming along.”
Yeah, I really should have known this. “Okay, but I’m not seeing the similarity.”
“My job is to look after all three of you, to see that your needs are met and that you want for nothing. I am not, nor have I ever tried to be, your father. That wasn’t my place. Nor have I tried to be Mr. Edward’s friend or Ms. Muriel’s confidant.”
But he…he had been all of those things.
“When you were younger, you desperately wanted Mr. Edward’s approval. It’s a natural thing. But his distance and his traveling, they often resulted in you coming to me. I did my best by you, but I admit, I preferred it when I was the one who made you smile or could give you that bit of encouragement you needed. That said…I wish Mr. Edward had done more. You deserved more. So while I might have been…envious of his relationship, should he have taken advantage of it, I would have been far happier that you were happy.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, a little touched by the confession, and at the same time… “So me being aware of how it makes me feel sometimes is okay? Me wanting to be a little selfish sometimes is okay?”
“Mr. Archie, you are easily one of the most selfless young men I have had the privilege to know, particularly with the people you care about. So yes, it is quite all right for you to be a little jealous sometimes and a little selfish. However, I would recommend that you continue to be honest with Miss Frankie. I’ve noticed, and rightly so, that the majority of your issues with her stemmed with keeping certain pieces of information to yourself. She cares about you, I dare say almost as much as you care for her. She would want to know.”
Heat crept up the back of my neck. We didn’t really do the touchy feely, Jeremy and I. This was a pretty damn big declaration. “Have I thanked you for always looking out for her?”
“Actually,” Jeremy said, wearing the faintest of smiles, “you have. Many times. Particularly when you trust me to look after her.”
I really did trust him to look after her. He made me feel a bit better.
It helped.
It all helped.
“So,” I said, trying to give us both a breath from too much emotion. “Do you have any cat videos you didn’t send her?”
“She does have a birthday coming…”
; That she did. “And you have some ideas.”
“Well, if one were inclined to hearing a few suggestions?”
I grinned. “I’m listening.”
True Colors
“So, it’s been how many weeks since you spoke to your mother?”
“Not since before Thanksgiving,” I told Erin. This was our first real session since I’d gotten back from Colorado. She’d been on vacation the first week. “I actually can’t really recall the last time we spoke. We argued…that day at the park, and then she moved in with Mr. Standish and we changed the locks on my place… Okay, Archie changed the locks on the apartment so they couldn’t get back in, and that was that. I haven’t spoken to her directly.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Is it wrong to say I feel relieved?” I’d been turning this one over in my head for the last few weeks. “When we were in Colorado, it was…” I licked my lips. How did I say this without sounding like a complete lunatic? Talking to Erin had grown easier, but she was still a therapist and it was still weird to tell her things like, Oh, yeah, I’m definitely dating four guys, and they are all okay with it. More than okay. We’re practically living together.
She didn’t push me or supply any words to finish the thought, just sat there and waited me out as I wrestled with the verbiage. You know, fuck it.
“It was freedom. I didn’t have to be on my guard. I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much time I spent waiting for her to get mad at me or to react to something. Like I wanted her to notice me and what was going on. Not just ask, but see me, and even if she did, I don’t feel like she ever cared except in how it reflected on her. And when we were there, that fear was just…I don’t want to say gone, but diminished? I guess that’s the right word.”
I was rambling, but it was like the floodgates opened.
Leaning forward, I clasped my knees and stared at her, but I wasn’t really seeing Erin or her office. It was like I was staring back at the lodge at the five of us just hanging out. No pressure. “They listen when even I don’t know I need to be heard. Sometimes, they hear the things I’m not saying. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not perfect. Far from it. And neither am I, but they are perfectly imperfect and I love them, flaws and all, and they love me.”
That thought ballooned in my chest.
“They care about me, and not just because of how I make them look or how I make them feel. My feelings are important to them. Archie got us tickets to see one of my favorite bands. I’ve never been to a concert before, but he wanted us to all go and he made it happen. We went skiing and played video games—okay, they mostly played because I can only play so many shoot ’em ups, but…we could just be together in the same room, and it was good.”
I licked my lips.
“And I didn’t miss Maddy, not once. I was glad she wasn’t a part of it. On Christmas day, Coop, Jake, and Ian, they all went to call their families and have some time with them, and there’s me and Archie and we’re cuddled up together on the sofa with a fire in the fireplace and the Christmas lights on the tree twinkling with snow in the window. It was a fucking Hallmark movie moment…” I winced. “Sorry, it was like something out of a fairytale, and it was perfect. She’s not tainting it.”
Erin smiled at me, the encouragement in her quiet relaxed manner. “Do you think you’ll be able to make your peace with your mother?”
“I don’t have to make peace with her.” Before the words came out of my mouth, I hadn’t realized how true they were. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I was the kid. I might not have been perfect, but if the guys can love me? Even when I’m sometimes blind or silly or obsessed with my schedule and my homework… If they can love me, then I’m lovable. So why doesn’t she?”
“Do you love her?”
I exhaled, and my grip on my knees tightened. I wanted to say no. I wanted to say I didn’t give a damn about her. That she didn’t deserve it.
“I wish I didn’t, sometimes. I really do. Coop’s sister is fighting with her mom right now, and she’s so angry with her and so hurt and she’s really obnoxious about it.” I licked my lips and shook my head. “But she can be because Carly is never not going to be there for her. She doesn’t see it, not like I can. She looks at me and seems to envy me the freedom I have. But I’d trade it for a good mom, someone I could trust, who would have my back and care enough to fight with me, to fight me for me, but…Maddy is never going to be that woman and I still love her. Because as much as I hate her sometimes, I don’t want to hate her. I just want her to love me.”
Chapter Nine
On the Clock
The butterflies in my stomach had butterflies. It didn’t help that Archie fumed in the hall as I pulled my hair back into a braid and up. Quiet fury churned the air around us and turned it positively electric. I almost didn’t want to breathe too hard in case it set him off. I was supposed to be interning in an actual office, so I’d gone for business casual as per the instructions.
“I know you’re not happy,” I said, trying for the third time to broach this discussion with him, but since he’d taken the day to go see his father, he’d pretty much seethed any time the discussion came up. He’d also asked me to drop out of the program if they wouldn’t change my assignment.
No, they wouldn’t change it—I had, in fact, asked—and I’d wrestled with whether to just drop the program altogether. No, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I also didn’t want to work with Mr. Standish on anything. But at the same time…
“Not happy is an understatement,” Archie said as he shoved away from the wall and crowded into the bathroom until he was pressed up against my back. “I hate the idea of him being anywhere near you.”
He settled his hands on my hips and then leaned in to press his cheek to mine. I’d gone with a dark green blouse and a pair of black dress pants rather than the skirt I’d originally planned. One, skirts just made me uncomfortable, and two…well, the fierce look on Archie’s face when I’d pulled it out just made me not want to have that argument.
Since he’d gotten home and we’d shown him that email, he’d been in a rage. The fact that his knuckles had been bruised and split when he came by after school on the same day also worried me. All he would say was that he was working on it.
“Babe,” he murmured. “I need you to be aware and on your guard. If you’re going to do this, then I support it, but if anything, and I mean anything feels off, you text me. I also want you to rely on that list of allies I gave you.”
I met his worried gaze in the mirror. “I love you,” I told him simply. There were any number of other words on the tip of my tongue, but those leapt out. “I will do everything you asked.”
“Except cancel and drop out of the program.” He ground his teeth, then closed his eyes as he seemed to wrestle with his temper.
Turning slowly, I faced him. “I get it,” I told him. “I get that you don’t want me there and I get you don’t want me working with him. I can’t imagine I would be…and at the same time, I wouldn’t put it past Maddy or him. But…do you think I’m in real physical danger from him?”
Archie had been against anything to do with Eddie from the beginning. Even when we were younger and before the whole joke of bad meatloaf, we just hadn’t really had anything to do with him except in passing.
Head tipped back, Archie stared at the ceiling. A muscle ticked in his cheek, and I waited him out. If he said there was a real threat, then I’d take the hit and ask to withdraw from the program. My biggest concern right now was if it would affect my temporary emancipation. Maddy had been quiet, but there was a little over ten weeks left until my birthday.
If she pulled anything and it got taken away from me, I’d survive those ten weeks, but I didn’t want to just survive.
“No,” Archie said slowly. “I sure the fuck hope not. He…he likes women.” Those dark brown eyes held so much pain when he focused on me. “And he seems a little too interested in you. So, avoid being alone with him.
If you have to be in his office, keep the door open. Just…”
I rubbed a circle against his chest. “I’ll rely on the people on the list you gave me. You told me Susan works on his floor, right?”
“She does.”
“Then I’ll check in with her before I go anywhere near his office, but all the schedule says for today is to show up, check in and I meet with someone from HR who will get my security pass, show me where I’ll be ‘working,’ and then do an orientation on Standish.” I smoothed down his shirt. “Who knows, maybe I’ll never get anywhere near his office, and they’ll stick me in some back corner doing something like coffee and copies.”
He snorted, hand coming up to cup my face. “Don’t hate me, but I love the idea of you never being anywhere near him.”
“I know. If I think for even an instant that something is wrong or even a bit uncomfortable…”
“You’ll text me,” Archie said. “I’m going to apply at school so I can leave and come up to the office as often as I can. I might see if I can work out ditching my afternoon classes on the days you’re there…”
“Arch.”
He shook his head and then pressed his forehead to mine while threading our fingers together. “Let me be paranoid and overprotective. Okay?”
I made a face. “As long as you trust me to handle myself.” Because this was a test for all of us really. None of the guys were particularly happy about it. Coop had damn near bitten his tongue in half when the others had been around, but he made his thoughts on the subject very clear when we were alone. Ian had done much the same thing.
“We trust you,” Jake said from the hall. “It’s bad meatloaf we don’t trust.” He and Archie shared a look, and I sighed.
“Okay, we have to dial this back some. I know you guys are worried, but my nerves have nerves…”
“C’mon,” Archie said with a kiss. “We got you something.”
