But that night, as he lay in bed, he couldn’t help but think of how tempting she looked in that dress. If Novanna was trying to get her BFF laid, that was the outfit to do it. Even Russell found himself stirring a little bit when he remembered how supple she looked in that sexy black dress. When he thought about where she might be, and what she might be doing, it actually hurt to think of her lying under another man. She hadn’t been a virgin when they met, but after nearly twenty years together, Joely had been his in all ways that mattered. He had groomed her to be his partner in every way that mattered. He didn’t know if even Joely herself would know who she was without being Mrs. Russell Morgan.
From the change in her appearance to the strut in her walk, she had shown him that night that she was no longer that person. Someone had brought something out in her that he never could. The thought kept him tossing and turning until midnight, where fell into a fitful sleep, watching Joely make love to a man he couldn’t quite see.
And for that phantom lover she came often, loudly and well.
It was twelve-twenty-three when he woke with a start, with a raging hard-on and a torpedoed ego. He solved the problem with a bottle of aged Scotch he now kept by the bed because he could. Only the empty space next to him now haunted him.
He stared blindly in the dark room and tried not to think about Joely.
Chapter Twelve
The further Xander drove away from The Ranch, the more nervous that Joely got. It felt like some bad after-school movie about stranger-danger. The frumpy girl finally agrees to go out with the hot, popular guy and he takes her far away from her home where no one can save her if she should change her mind. They turned off of the freeway onto Buffalo Gap Road, which led west away from city. It dawned on her then she had agreed to go home with this man when she hadn’t the foggiest idea where that home happened to be. If Kari had done that, she’d have grounded her till menopause.
“I’m not going to find lye and shovels in the trunk of your car, am I?” she teased, simply because humor was the only defense mechanism she had left.
His warm laugh filled the car. “Nothing as nefarious as all that, I assure you. I just prefer country living.”
“Says the man who has lived in some of the biggest cities in the world,” she grinned. “You really did decide to shake things up when you moved here, didn’t you?”
He shot her a wink. “That was the idea.”
She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when they pulled up to his place, but a four-bedroom, brand new brick home on the outskirts of town wasn’t it. Floodlights turned on as they pulled into the driveway, which showed how much work was left to be done with the landscaping, but the house itself was pristine. It reminded her of when she and Russell had moved into their home in Fairway Oaks, which had been newly constructed and was a virtual blank slate for them to decorate from the inside out.
He hopped out and trotted around the car to open her door, holding his hand out to her to pull her to her feet. His eyes enveloped her as she stood, so close to him a breeze had to struggle to pass between them. He kept her hand in his as he pulled towards the front door with etched, beveled glass. He opened the door, turned on the lights in the foyer and they stepped inside.
Her heels clicked on the tiled floor as he led her towards the living room. It was filled with masculine leather furniture in dark chocolate, which faced a huge, flat-screen TV mounted above a brick fireplace in the corner of the room. It adjoined the open kitchen, which featured high cathedral ceilings with dark wooden beams cutting across the top, adding to its rustic charm.
He headed straight for the kitchen, where he pulled a bottle of wine from the fridge and placed it on the granite countertop while he fetched a couple of wine glasses from one of the cabinets. “You live here by yourself?” she asked, and he nodded. “This is a lot of house for one person, don’t you think?”
He laughed as he handed her the glass. “If you knew what kind of shoeboxes I lived in when I lived in San Francisco and Manhattan, you’d understand.”
He led her back to the living room, sitting her on the sofa before he grabbed a remote, turned on some music, and headed to the fireplace to light a fire. Flameless candles were scattered around the room to set the mood. Thanks to automatic timers, they were already flickering, casting a warm glow around her. She had to smirk to herself. She could imagine this was all part of his routine. How many other women had been brought here, romanced the same way? She stopped herself just short of asking.
After the fire was lit, he joined her on the sofa. “Believe it or not, I pay about half as much to buy this house than I did renting said shoeboxes.”
“I’m surprised you decided to buy, considering you probably won’t be here very long.”
His eyes were dark as he studied her. “Who says I won’t be here very long?”
“Mom,” she answered before taking a sip of the tart red wine. “She says you don’t let a whole lot of grass grow under your feet.”
He nodded. “That’s true. I get bored easily once I meet my goals.”
That comment caught her ear. Was it a warning?
“It just makes good sense to buy,” he said before he put his glass on the rustic wooden coffee table. “I’ve flipped some real estate in the past. I buy something that needs work. Fix it up while I live there. When I mosey along, I can sell it for more than I paid. It keeps me solvent.”
She glanced around the spacious room. These digs would have given her place in Fairway Oaks a run for its money. “From the looks of things, you’re doing quite well for yourself.”
“Money is freedom, you should know that by now. It’s not everything but it does make the journey a little nicer.”
“So what are your goals while you’re here, Xander?”
He leaned back on the plush cushion. “Make money. Have fun. Be happy. Same as everyone else.”
“No, I mean specific goals. What’s your next big mountain to climb?”
He chuckled. “Trying to figure out where the jumping off point is, are you?”
Her voice was quiet. “Maybe.”
“I don’t come with guarantees, Joely. Nobody does, really. Everyone just sort of pretends that they do. I prefer to be more upfront about it.”
She placed her glass on the stone coaster on the table. “I see.”
“Does that change things for you?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I really don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s crazy. And it’s totally unlike me.”
He scooted closer, practically backing her into the corner of the sofa. “Or maybe this is you. Maybe this is the real you that you were never allowed to be before now, because you were always worried about being someone’s daughter, someone’s wife or someone’s mum. Maybe you really don’t know who you are at all.”
Her eyebrow arched. “And, after a month, you think you can show me who that is?”
He smiled wide. “I’m a quick study.”
She chuckled as she shook her head. “After thirty-nine years, I think I have a pretty good grasp on who I am and who I’m not by now. What you see is what you get. This is me.”
His hand crept over to cup her knee. She jumped in spite of herself. “You’re more than your age, Joely. You’re more than some title. You’re a woman who is allowed to feel, to grab life by the balls, to take what you want, to lust and be fulfilled,” he added in a soft whisper that made her gasp. “You’re allowed to break the rules if they don’t fit you. And yes, after a month, I can tell you with 100-percent certainty that they don’t.”
“How?” she asked in a breathless whisper.
“Because you’re here,” he said softly, his gaze unbroken. “For nineteen years you beat against the walls of your restrictive cocoon, one constructed by your upbringing, by your husband, by ‘society,’” he added with dripping disdain. “Now you’ve finally broken free, with these beautiful wings you’re not even sure how to use. You were just waiting for someone to teach you. I
can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in the way that you tremble when I touch you. And you can feel it too, which is why you have ignored all those screaming voices in your head telling you that you shouldn’t be here. Bottom line: you want to be happy. You want to be desired. You long to be held. You hunger to be kissed. You need to be fucked,” he said as he drew even closer, his hand on her knee, sliding up under her skirt. “You want to be free to be you, and you know I can give that to you.”
“With a one night stand?” she asked with an arch of her eyebrow.
“Oh, no,” he assured, his hand slipping slowly and easily up her bare thigh. “I’m ready to take my time with you, love. One night. One weekend. One month or one year. We’re not finished until my job is done.”
With that his mouth descended on hers. His tongue drilled between her lips and took immediate possession of her mouth, forcing her to respond to his deepening kiss with an ardor she didn’t even know she had. Despite her age and experience, his mastery made her feel like a virgin all over again. She moaned in his mouth before her arms snaked around his neck to pull him closer, trying to drag him down into the cushions with her.
He had other ideas. With a surprising strength, he lifted her up and pulled her onto his lap, where she straddled his hips on either side. He leaned back on the cushion, resting his head in his linked hands. “Take off your dress,” he commanded as he stared deeply into her eyes.
She trembled hard. Part of her wanted to comply with his request, simply so she wouldn’t break this wonderful spell. The other part of her was terrified. She hadn’t let another man see her naked in decades, and had done everything in her power to hide her body from Russell since Hannah was born. She had gained thirty pounds with that pregnancy and he had never let her forget it. She was painfully aware of how her boobs drooped lower with each child she breastfed and how her tummy sagged from three pregnancies. There wasn’t an ounce of spare flesh on Xander, she could tell by the way his muscles rippled under her fingers. What was he hoping to find underneath this expensive silk dress?
“Joely,” he said, a little firmer this time. “Take off your dress.”
She took a deep breath before she slid one of the lace straps over her shoulder. She felt self-conscious as his eyes followed her fingers, slowly sliding the other strap down the other shoulder, baring herself for him as slowly as possible. She hoped he’d change his mind and just rip the clothes right off. Instead he just sat there, watching her.
If it weren’t for feeling his erection grow and harden through his pants, she might have chickened out entirely.
Finally she eased the material down to her waist, releasing the weight of her large breasts to swing free for his hungry gaze at last. His hands slid up each of her legs, coming to rest on her hips, squeezing her soft flesh with his strong fingers. “Touch yourself,” he said.
Again she trembled. Tentatively she circled one of her nipples with her fingers, teasing it gently. It hardened instantly, which made his cock jump beneath her. She gasped in spite of herself, before repeating the same action with her other breast. His eyes locked with hers as she teased herself, tweaking each nipple until she nearly cried out with pleasure.
“That’s my girl,” he said with a slow smile. He finally leaned forward to capture one hardened peak in his mouth. Her hand immediately tangled in his soft, dark hair, clutching handfuls as he sucked powerfully on one nipple, then the other.
“God, yes,” she found herself muttering. She had never been especially vocal as a lover, especially since she’d had kids. But as he drew circles of fire around her nipples with his firm tongue, she was unable to withhold her soft cries of pleasure. He was encouraged by these cries. He took his time as he teased her right to the brink. She knew she was seconds away from begging him to fuck her. Feeling him against her was driving her insane with some primal need buried deep within. She finally had to pull him away from her breast. “Where’s your bedroom?”
He smiled as he glanced up at her with those dark, intense eyes. “You think you’re ready for my bedroom, Joely?” She nodded and he eased her off of his lap. Before he stood, he practically yanked the dress completely off of her before she knew what was happening. She stood before him, naked and trembling, praying he wouldn’t change his mind. His eyes locked with hers as he slowly stood. He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it softly, before he pulled her from the room.
He walked backwards, unable to take his eyes off of her. She felt ridiculous as she followed behind, dressed only in those strappy high heels that clattered against the tile floor as they walked together down the long, darkened hallway. He used his elbow to open a door, pausing only to turn on the lights as they entered his master suite.
His king-sized bed dominated the large room full of dark wood furniture and a dozen more flameless candles. The headboard was upholstered in black leather, which matched the red and black paisley print of his comforter. The sheets themselves were red, but before she could put any thought at all in how that signified the adultery she was about to commit, Xander lifted her up and tossed her down on the bed. He followed her down onto the soft bedding, his mouth capturing hers for a blazing kiss that made her forget everything else.
His fingers trailed easily across her sensitive skin, and her body rose to meet his touch. She kissed him back as her hands fidgeted with the buttons on his shirt. Finally he ripped it from his body and landed back on her, skin to skin. She practically melted as his mouth explored the delicate line of her neck. She arched her back to get closer to him. She needed him everywhere all at once. “Xander, please,” she found herself begging.
Her request sent a shudder through his body. Unexpectedly he pulled away, taking time to prop several pillows against the headboard. His eyes were dark and cloudy as he looked back down at her, pulling her easily up to recline on the pillows before he hopped off the bed entirely. His silhouette revealed how painfully hard he was, so she watched incredulously as he walked over to a chair on the other side of the room, opposite the bed. “What are you doing?” she finally asked as he settled in and got comfortable.
“Lesson one,” he said as he watched her. “You have to know what you want in order to ask for it.”
“I want you,” she said, fighting off the urge to pout.
He chuckled. “You’ll get me, pretty girl,” he promised. “Don’t worry.” She watched as he unzipped his pants and revealed his hard-on at last. Everything within her ached for that big, hard beautiful cock, though damned if she could say those words out loud. He began to stroke himself slowly as he watched her. “Show me how to please you, Joely.”
She shuddered hard as she realized what he was asking her to do. “Xander,” she started with a slight shake of her head. No wonder he had gotten off the bed. If he had stayed nearer to her, she would have tried to lose herself in another kiss, where he could focus on anything else but how she looked, exposed in the brightly lit room. It was as if he knew how much of herself she was still trying to hide, and he wasn’t having it. He made his demands more implicit.
“Spread your legs,” he said in that low voice that made her nerves rattle. His eyes bore into hers until finally she complied, though she felt herself flush deeply from her head to her toes. “Touch yourself,” he instructed next. She shook her head again. What he was asking was impossible. This wasn’t who she was. But again, he refused to let her off the hook. “Touch yourself the way you’ve only been free to touch yourself when you’re alone, without anyone to judge you. Show me how you make yourself come.”
His words caressed her from across the room, and her weak flesh burned to obey. But what he was suggesting was scandalous. Masturbation had been her dirty little secret, something she’d resort to when she was alone, often after nights with Russell when he had left her unsatisfied. She hadn’t been fulfilled in a long, long time, unless it came from her own hand.
Like Xander said, there was no one there to judge her on how long it took, or what it took, to get her th
ere. Oddly, she’d come within minutes by herself. With Russell, they could make love until she was raw and she could never manage to let herself go.
She realized then that was what Xander was asking of her. By seeing what it took to truly get her off, he could take her there and beyond. The thought excited her more than she cared to admit. Despite her insecurities, she found herself slipping a hand between her legs.
He watched intently as she spread her legs wider, her fingers disappearing within her delicate folds, sliding easily around her engorged clit. She was wetter than she had ever remembered being, turned on by this unusual request despite of (or maybe because of) how much it challenged her.
She didn’t even bother withholding the gasp as she circled her clit with her finger. She watched how he steadily stroked his massive erection, mesmerized by how she was playing with herself. He didn’t miss one detail. “That’s it, baby,” he crooned. “Show me how you like it.”
It was so sexy that she found herself rocketing off into space within a couple of minutes, coming harder than she ever had on her own. She cried out, which only turned her on even more. Though she’d just climaxed, she wanted nothing more than to have Xander inside her, fucking her beyond her solo orgasm to something she’d never before experienced. She slipped a couple of fingers inside, hoping he’d take the hint and put her out of her misery. He only watched, pumping his cock to match her rhythm, until she came again.
She was a quivering pile of goo as he stood from the chair and approached the bed. She could barely move as he climbed onto the mattress, hovering over her. He bent for a kiss, which she returned with a long groan. She reached for his pulsating cock but he pushed her hand away. “Tonight was about you,” he said softly.
Immediately her elation deflated just like a day-old balloon. Had her wanton display changed his mind? If so, why was he still hard? And if he was still hard, why was he pushing her away? None of it made any sense.
He bent to kiss her softly, tugging at her bottom lip slightly with his teeth. Finally he nestled beside her, wrapping her in his arms, holding her close to his half-dressed body. “Don’t pout, love,” he said as he brushed her hair from her face. “It’s not a rejection.”
Back for Seconds (Lone Star Second Chances Book 1) Page 14
